Have you noticed the severe lack of respect men and women have for each other now? Women worked so hard to gain equality and although I think women should be allowed the same rights as men...I believe it's been taken too far and is affecting society.
As little as 30 years ago, men(and boys) were taught to treat women with respect. That respect included opening doors for them, pulling out their chairs so that they could sit, walking on the street side of the sidewalk, being a person on your word, introducing the him/her to those you talk with, put him/her first in your life, or offering her your jacket when it's cooled off or started raining. The overall thought of "modern chivalry," is that it's an attitude of respect, dignity and class.
Once again the last thought is becoming more and more of a lost trait. I am a firm believer of being independent and self-sufficient...but I truly appreciate the efforts of a few that still hold the door for me, or offer to pull out my chair for me. Anymore, men and women alike, have become self-serving. The majority have lost all class. They will only help those that can do something for them or those who can benefit them. The younger generations have not been taught how to treat themselves with respect enough to have class. I'm not talking about the social class, I'm talking about having enough respect for yourself that you demand to be treated with respect, dignity and yes, class!
Here are some definitions:
CLASS - high quality; a collection of adjacent and discrete or continuous values or a random variable.
DIGNITY - the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed.
RESPECT - An act of giving particular attention, high or special regard.
Too many young people do not have a high regard/quality for themselves. My own beliefs are that because of not being able to discipline children and being so worried about their psyches we are teaching our children to not value themselves and not to have values. Moreover, even my generation has severe issues with chivalry. Although some do have some "gentlemanly" traits, the majority do not. Most of them, have not been taught and the baby boomer generation fought so hard to break free of their parents generation; therefore they neglected to teach the young men and women how to have common courtesies and respect.
I am slightly encouraged that some of the early 2000's generation are relearning these traits...it's still frustrating that my own generation has lost it. Even though I personally have allowed others to treat me with disrespect, that is ending. I am a person of worth, and are each of you. Demand that others treat you with respect, dignity, and class. It is your responsibility to also treat others with the same attention. Teach your young people this lost trait and revive not only common courtesy but also chivalry.
~S~
This crazy but wonderful life we live. Home education, self-sufficient living, learning, growing, and finding our way on our farm and in life. Teaching frugality, logic, and common sense. Grab some coffee and enjoy my regular writings on current subjects and interests.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
My thoughts are really random...
Some times you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!
~Kathy Mattea
So many days I listen to friends and family that are venting their frustrations, exciting news or anger to me. I've always been the go to person in my circle of family/friends. It's so easy to give advice to others, and help them see a different perspective. Lately, I'm finding that taking my own advice is becoming more difficult. It's not to say that I don't....but there are times, the self-talk in my head, if spoken out loud would sound like World War 3!
Have you had that, yourself? The constant battle of negative versus positive conversations that go on in your head? It's that constant conversation with your inner self of you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for and the other side of the coin, you aren't worth near what you are claiming you are. Those positive/negative thoughts...."you are doing great, learning so much and growing to be a better person everyday," versus "why do you keep trying when you know how it always turns out. You are only one person and changing the world just isn't in your cards."
Maybe I'm the only one that has these constant conversations in my head. However, these conversations have helped me to notice when they become unbalanced and one side or the other is becoming too dominate.
This brings me to a few realizations for myself as of late. It's been a trying few weeks for me emotionally. It started with applying for jobs in an industry that I was once in. I'm learning, very quickly, that the skills that I was once very proud of and excelled in are no longer valid. Being out of the job force for over 10 years has caused my training and knowledge to not only stagnate, but to become obsolete. I'm also learning that even though I still have contacts in the industry, several good intentions lead to self-doubt. I've also learned that updating training is essential but costly. Also, life is a constant training and a hard knock lesson, but others believe that a Bachelor's is the true education. In addition to everything else, it's a lesson in discouragement to listen to what others say when they are telling you exactly why you shouldn't even try. After 38 job applications, I was offered 3 jobs. All 3 jobs required some travel, offered excellent pay, but would have required some upfront training and understanding from my family.
I've also begun to understand that although I am the type of person who will help anyone possible, will be cordial to everyone-no matter how I feel about them, and always looks for the best in people...there are some, that will do everything within their power to drag me down and make me feel inferior just to make themselves feel better. The hardest part of these realizations is that 9 times out of 10, they are family or friends.
I am well aware of my inadequacies and I do work hard to learn everything that is expected of me. However, when these are brought up in every conversation, or pointed out at every possible point...you begin to just want to give up. It makes you grow weary of trying new adventures, learning new skills, or attempting to be what you are expected to be. It becomes more important to hear compliments, an encouraging word for your attempts, and even begins to put you in a place of seeking attention.
Although my spirit has been shaken, I continue to look for a job in the industry I once loved and I am still attempting to learn some of what is expected of me. I am working on myself - to become the strong, independent, self-sufficient, and happy-go-lucky person I once was. I will have my moments of defeat, moments of negativity but I will never be a doormat forever. I am growing stronger everyday, and re-learning long-lost personality traits.
Wishing you all a great weekend.
~S~
~Kathy Mattea
So many days I listen to friends and family that are venting their frustrations, exciting news or anger to me. I've always been the go to person in my circle of family/friends. It's so easy to give advice to others, and help them see a different perspective. Lately, I'm finding that taking my own advice is becoming more difficult. It's not to say that I don't....but there are times, the self-talk in my head, if spoken out loud would sound like World War 3!
Have you had that, yourself? The constant battle of negative versus positive conversations that go on in your head? It's that constant conversation with your inner self of you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for and the other side of the coin, you aren't worth near what you are claiming you are. Those positive/negative thoughts...."you are doing great, learning so much and growing to be a better person everyday," versus "why do you keep trying when you know how it always turns out. You are only one person and changing the world just isn't in your cards."
Maybe I'm the only one that has these constant conversations in my head. However, these conversations have helped me to notice when they become unbalanced and one side or the other is becoming too dominate.
This brings me to a few realizations for myself as of late. It's been a trying few weeks for me emotionally. It started with applying for jobs in an industry that I was once in. I'm learning, very quickly, that the skills that I was once very proud of and excelled in are no longer valid. Being out of the job force for over 10 years has caused my training and knowledge to not only stagnate, but to become obsolete. I'm also learning that even though I still have contacts in the industry, several good intentions lead to self-doubt. I've also learned that updating training is essential but costly. Also, life is a constant training and a hard knock lesson, but others believe that a Bachelor's is the true education. In addition to everything else, it's a lesson in discouragement to listen to what others say when they are telling you exactly why you shouldn't even try. After 38 job applications, I was offered 3 jobs. All 3 jobs required some travel, offered excellent pay, but would have required some upfront training and understanding from my family.
I've also begun to understand that although I am the type of person who will help anyone possible, will be cordial to everyone-no matter how I feel about them, and always looks for the best in people...there are some, that will do everything within their power to drag me down and make me feel inferior just to make themselves feel better. The hardest part of these realizations is that 9 times out of 10, they are family or friends.
I am well aware of my inadequacies and I do work hard to learn everything that is expected of me. However, when these are brought up in every conversation, or pointed out at every possible point...you begin to just want to give up. It makes you grow weary of trying new adventures, learning new skills, or attempting to be what you are expected to be. It becomes more important to hear compliments, an encouraging word for your attempts, and even begins to put you in a place of seeking attention.
Although my spirit has been shaken, I continue to look for a job in the industry I once loved and I am still attempting to learn some of what is expected of me. I am working on myself - to become the strong, independent, self-sufficient, and happy-go-lucky person I once was. I will have my moments of defeat, moments of negativity but I will never be a doormat forever. I am growing stronger everyday, and re-learning long-lost personality traits.
Wishing you all a great weekend.
~S~
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