"What's on your mind?"

"I may not be who I should be or who I want to be but I am better than I used to be!"





Being on social media is sometimes overwhelming. You see all your "friends lists dirty laundry," you are judged by somethings that you post, or like. Yet, you are also able to keep in touch with people that mean the world to you! So, this morning, as I looked through social media to see what everyone was up to, that brilliant little box showed up as it always does. This morning though, it set my mind whirling. That little box always asks: "What's on your mind?" This morning that spoke volumes to me. What's on my mind? Well, what's not on mind lately, would have been the better question! My mind lately seems to be spinning out of control.

Social media has put us all on a different playing field. It's now a field that allows so many others into the game. There isn't much kept to ourselves any more. We share funny phrases or pictures, we share what we are doing in our lives on a daily basis, we share stories, and pictures. We have become a technology driven society. Sometimes, I believe if we turned off the television, turned off the phones, turned off the computers and just focused on our families and our communities, we would see tremendous improvements in both!However, The past 5 days, I have seen how helpful social media can be. November 17th, my hometown was one of many that were devastated by tornadoes. So many friends were affected, some have lost everything they owned, but thankfully, no one in my hometown lost their lives! While I know this is a huge blessing within itself, I can't help but feel heart broken for all the damage that was sustained. My hometown is such an amazing community that has always pulled together in times of need. It's a community I am proud to call my hometown. Most of this week, I have spent at the brink of tears. The tornado that hit my hometown, affected 2 people that I have always considered another set of parents. The were not injured, but lost so much of their personal items. I made a promise to their son, a few years back, that I would keep an eye on them. While this was before he had passed away, and I didn't grasp it at the time, this was a promise that I have no idea how to keep. I now live almost 400 miles from my hometown and it's very difficult for me to get back home. This doesn't mean I won't, it just means that I can't as often as I would like to.

As I have watched people posting their daily "thankful for..." on social media, I can't help but wonder why it takes the month of November for people to remember what they are thankful for. I try to be thankful each and everyday for every blessing in my life. From the miniscule to the life changing, I try to always remember. I don't see a need to single out individual blessings, besides, 30 days just wouldn't begin to cover every blessing in my life. While not all the blessings are understandable at the point when they happen, eventually, it is revealed if you just pay attention. There have been disappoints in my life. There have been instances when I have wished and prayed for something; only to get the exact opposite. Some of those times, I have been upset, even angry...but eventually, I have learned that the very thing I had wished for or prayed for would have taken me places I didn't want to be. The alternative plan, actually led me where I needed to be.

My mind has been really cluttered for several months...long before the tornado. That seems to be just the frosting on the cake. I can't seem to grasp just what is cluttering it, or why, but I know it's just overwhelming. I try to talk to my husband about everything possible. Many times this helps, when we actually get the chance to talk without little ears. sometimes, it doesn't, because it's hard for him to understand. It's not that he doesn't try, but growing up as differently as we did, does still affect our communications. It's harder for men to be sympathetic, when most of them would rather fix a problem, and not talk about it. It's not a bad thing, but it is different for women. Most of us are more analytical than not. We analyze everything, talk about everything, plan and organize everything, and then we fix it. The men I know, just jump into solving the problem and then find all the other "little issues" as they go. Then it becomes a bigger issue for them, as they now have a several more issues than they started with. Most of the men I know, continue to go about fixing the original problem and deal with whatever they have to and then they wipe their hands of it and let it go. Myself, I am not one that is able to just let things go. I have some great friends and many of them I would trust enough to tell anything to, but most of those are a long way away and I hate to bother anyone. I have always been a person to try to do everything on my own. I've heard that referred to as independent, hard-headed, and stubborn, but honestly...I am accustomed to only depending on myself. When I can not accomplish things on my own, then I get overwhelmed, antsy, and extremely moody. Right now, I am to a point of needing a few good friends, and either a few bottles of wine or a whole lot of coffee, and plenty of time to solve the problems of the world!

After a few hours alone last night, I was able to clear my head a little. I had a good cry, a long soak, and a time to be alone with my thoughts. Sometimes, that is the most magical time for me. Time to sort through my thoughts, readjust some of the not so pleasant thoughts, and time to pray. So, as I begin a new day, I am so thankful for every blessing in my life...even those that were unexpected, blessed to have so many beautiful and amazing people in my life, and so thankful that even in my darkest hours I can see those blessings.

As we bring another month to a close, I hope to be able to spend as much time as possible with family and friends, and to enjoy the time with each. I hope that each of you will devote your time to your families, and not rush out for all those "deals" on stuff none of us need.
Happy Thanksgiving to each of you and may you all continue to be blessed!
Salli

I'm in the twilight zone!

Some days, you just have to scratch your head, and wonder when you actually woke up and why the nightmare continues. Many people find themselves facing obstacles in life, whether by their own design or by lack of action when some one else throws in their ideas. While others try to do what's right, what's just and what's fair; they inadvertently allow the proverbial monkey wrench to upset their own balance.

On occasion, you attempt to have a conversation to help solve miniscule issues only to open up a flood gate of issues you had only guessed about. I am a firm believer in communication. I believe that you must be willing to talk, even if it means talking about issues that are hard to solve....or even have no solutions. I think that communication it the key to solving many problems, but sometimes conversations only prove that there are more underlying issues than once known.

Some issues are solvable with a little team work, some elbow grease, and the desire to fix the issue. Some, however, are not. Some issues are not as easy. Those are the issues that really require extended conversations, several options, and for me a lot of meditation and even some prayer. Some issues are controllable, some are not.

I don't claim to have any answers, let alone solutions. I know that, at this point, I am needing some serious meditation time. With multiple issues thrown at me lately, I am overwhelmed.

With my knowledge of how stress factors into illness, I hope to find some meditation time to release these stresses and quiet my mind. My writing helps me to release some stress so I hope you will forgive this post. I just needed a release, one that I get when I write!
Salli

"We interrupt this marriage..........."

"We interrupt this marriage for Hunting Season!"


Every time I hear that phrase it makes me giggle. Never had I heard it until I moved to Missouri! I would have never believed that hunting was so much a part of anyone's life anymore. How was I to know when I was told that I would be a hunting widow, or that all other schedules were changed for hunting season, that it would be true?!

Well, let me tell you, I am a seasoned pro at this whole "hunting widow" thing now. 15 years of different hunting seasons, working our actual wedding in around hunting seasons, and although not planned...both our kids were born outside of a main hunting season. I have gotten to a point of laughing at the insanity surrounding hunting and the long roughly 6 month span of different seasons. As any other women who are married to hunters can tell you, you learn to prepare and plan a little differently.

Once hunting season rolls around, you never fix enough food to just feed your family. You fix enough to feed a small army...you never know who will be stopping in to show off their latest prize. You never depend on your hunter for ANYTHING during hunting season...cause "it ain't getting done!" :) You learn to bite your tongue when they tell the "big buck story" over and over for the umpteenth time(and the size of the deer just keeps getting bigger with every telling!)! You learn to tune out all the conversations about calibers, ballistics, scopes, the best/worst tree stands. The hunting locations have names. These are normal names either! These are names like: the hooch, the bean field stand, the corn field stand, the box blind, the rattle box or the war wagon. You learn to roll your eyes without anyone seeing, so you don't have to hear how "you just don't appreciate hunting," remarks for the eighty-seventh time this season. You learn to prepare the latest prize to eat. Yes, we actually eat what my boys hunt...they don't joy hunt. And, you learn that even though these boys are old enough to go hunting, they aren't old enough to keep up with their blaze orange vests, hats, or mud boots!

While this was something completely foreign to me 15 years ago, I am a seasoned pro now! I know a week before opening morning that the rifles must be sighted in, and heaven forbid they not be able to group the bullets under a quarter! Then there are several more hours of "practice!" I know to stock up on extra food, and that there better be plenty of "grab and go" snacks. I know to remind these boys to get their tags, dig out all their crazy looking camo, reload their shells, and buy more if necessary.

You learn to expect "unannounced visitors," who will be showing off their prize. Not to mention my mighty hunters telling their own tales of the days hunt. Knowing that even if you just smile and nod, you can usually B.S. your way through at least one telling of a deer story. You learn to be able to entertain yourself, how ever you feel is best, to get through the hunting widow stage. Some cook, clean, go shopping or grab a bottle of wine and enjoy the peace and quiet! After the week leading up to rifle season...a good bottle of wine, some peace and quiet is just what we need! As one friend decided....a bottle of wine and a tiara sounded like a great plan! :)

So, as another year has begun, this hunting widow decided to share a humorous look at a life that I didn't know existed 15 years ago! As some younger generations begin to take this same journey, I encourage you to find humor in it. Learn to enjoy your own company(as boys will be boys!) and pull up your big girl panties! It may not always be easy, but for the most part...it's worth it.

I believe I will grab another cup of coffee and start cooking and baking! I believe it's going to be a chili/cornbread night at the Twisted B Ranch tonight!

Happy Deer Season 2013!