Motherhood

Motherhood, the art of not having a clue what you are doing, while trying to prove your offspring, that you know it all!


Motherhood has been the most rewarding, most precious and most satisfying part of my life. It has also caused over half the grey hair, most of the wrinkles, and more sleepless nights than I could could. Tears of happiness, pain, pride and fear; anxiety over trying to do and be the best for your children from the time you awake until the time you go to sleep...sometimes all night long. Being terrified of truly messing up your children for life, yet doing your absolute best to make sure they are your number one priority each and every day.

With your first child, you believe you know everything...until they are actually born. Then you realize how little you truly know. It's learning to trust your instincts, and knowing your child well enough to know when something is wrong, or when it's just senseless drama. It's following every parenting rule to a "T" until you know better and start following your child's needs. By the second child, you are a little more experienced. However, do not get comfortable! My mother-in-law used to talk about "second child syndrome." It made sense, but I would never have understood how different 2 children could be until my second child came along! Holy cow!!!I'm talking not only the male/female difference but their personalities...night and day couldn't be more different!

With the first child, you warned about the terrible two's and three's...but no one warns you about the preteen years, the hormonal uprisings, or the absolutely heartbreaking words that are thrown at you during a drama filled showdown! Oh, but it only gets better! Then you hit the teenage years. Those lovely years, that make you wish you could go back to the terrible 2's or 3's. I do not care if you are raising a girl or a boy...there is DRAMA!!! It may be different but do not let anyone fool you into thinking there is no drama with boys! My first was a boy. After the preteen years, pubic schooling and bus riding, yikes! We had the entire Santa conversation at 8 years old...EIGHT! Because some high school kid on the bus was telling all the young kids there wasn't one. Then at 9, trying to explain sex because again the high school kids were all broadcasting information NOT appropriate for young kids. Now, in our case, we had one obnoxious little heathen that spent the entire 3rd grade year of school injuring my son, and he'd get even more every time he defended one of the other kids against that little brat. After of year of being at the school everyday, we'd had enough. After about a year of not dealing with the bus or school, things got a little easier...for a bit. However, outside influence will always be there. Now, I can not imagine what kind of crap I'd have had if we'd had to go clear through high school with the public schools, but I can promise you, hearing bits and pieces from my son's friends still there....O-M-G!!!! It made the cliches I had in high school look like a party! Now, we are in our final months of schooling with my oldest, and thankfully, I have survived to this point! However, personality wise: he is a a great young man. Seriously, he has very high morals, very high values and is loyal to his family and friends. He has no pain tolerance, and has gotten very stubborn(like his Dad :D). Really! I play referee between the two hitting heads, almost everyday! He is very responsible, respectful and usually very honest.

Now, my second child. She is my wild child, maybe not really wild but very free spirited. Not too much phases her, aside from arguments. I really thought I hit the jackpot. After being born really fast, she slept all night from the time we brought her home...until about age 3. Then, well, not so much! The terrible 2's and 3's were antagonized by big brother. She grew up with having big brother to instigate, until she got mad...then big brother ended up in tears. She is truly a sweetheart. Has a heart of gold, loves hugs, likes her space, is independent and creative...but has a temper to match anyone I have ever known! She will put up with an awful lot, but once she is mad...look out!!! She will pick up the biggest, heaviest object she can find and throw it! About 99% of the time, she is laughing, singing, of off on some kind of creative venture. It's that's 1% that can get pretty tricky!:) She is strong, but kind hearted, respectful to most, but has NO filter. Whatever she is thinking...will be coming out of her mouth...NOT sugar coated!She loves being at home, even though she likes to visit some, she would much rather be in her own space. When it comes to pain, she is complete opposite of her brother. He doesn't have any tolerance of pain...she has a pain tolerance as big as mine! We have officially hit the preteen years with her...and the lovely hormonal side that goes with it. I can tell you at this point, if she handles everything as she has to this point...I might actually survive 2 kids, hormones, explaining the birds & bees to 2 kids, and teaching them both how their bodies change as they grow up. My baby isn't a baby anymore...but a young lady.

Seriously, friends, kids grow up so stinking fast! My babies, although they are definitely not babies anymore, are my entire world. Every breath I take is for and because of them. They are the reason my days have laughter, love and imagination in them. They make think in different directions, and have reminded me what is possible. They are the epitome of unconditional love, and the reason I can sit here today knowing that even though I'm not perfect, they love me just the same and I love them beyond infinity!

My kids are no where near perfect, but they are perfect just the way they are. I wouldn't not change them for world! Welcome to motherhood...every possible oxymoron all rolled into one simple word! Congratulations to all my mom friends, we've made it thus far!

Salli

Bowen Farm Happenings

As usual around our little homestead, there is never a dull moment. 2018 into 2019 has been a very challenging year. However, with every challenge comes an opportunity to grow, learn, re-evaluate and keep going. While we had a challenging year of reassessing our little homestead, and learning of changes that needed to be made, and of situations beyond our control; there were so many promising opportunities foreseen, and even a few compromises that were made.

For 8 years, we attempted multiple avenues of potential profit for this little farm. Since there isn't much for timber or for putting in crops. Each of the potential profit avenues came back to bite us, every time. Between wildlife killing animals, animals not being what they were said to be, and market prices falling off; we just could not absorb the expenses. While those were huge hits in the expenses, they were great opportunities to learn. Unfortunately, with those kind of losses, the budget went out the window along with attitudes. As someone who thrives (usually) on a challenge, those were challenges I couldn't wrap my head around let alone come up with a solution. In my business trainings, it was always said you have to spend money to make money. That's a great thought until you spend money and the very expenses end up costing you for 6 years and the potential profit has been eaten by coyotes and eagles...it's hard to swallow.

I won't dwell on those bad memories. What I am looking at now is, it's time that our little farm is back in the black so maybe we can begin to feel on solid ground again. We let go of a lot for a couple years, attempting to salvage what we could, now though...life has taken on a life of its own. It will take some time to hopefully see the benefits but I keep praying that it all works. We have several small projects we are working on and a few larger ones. Now that our oldest is 18, he has been instrumental in helping us with a different thought process. Many people believe there is a way to do things, that has always worked, but a fresh point of view has helped us "old folks" think on different lines.

Our biggest changes have been going from having a single cow, to having 2 bottles calves, then the cow had her calf, and now we have been able to rescue another little calf that wasn't being accepted by its mother. So, we went from a single bred cow to having a cow and 4 calves on the ground. Even though the newest little calf is a stubborn one, our oldest has always been fantastic with animals and I know he will make it all work.

A few of the options coming on, involve a possible survey of our land since the current assessments are showing substantially less than what it was supposed to be. We have several repairs that came about during the past 2 years, the remainder of the fence on the perimeter of the land has to be built, with the harsh winter this year, we have to get wood stocked up to avoid running out again too. We have a chicken coop that has decided to fall apart with the horrible winter this year, and being so wet all fall, has several fence posts leaning. We have several repairs, but this is expected.

We have been blessed beyond reason to be able to become a host family. We are excited to host a beautiful girl from Italy this year. We are really excited about this opportunity for her but also for our family to learn from her culture. I believe it will be beneficial to all of us. She will be with us from August until May, and we look forward to including her in our family.

As life goes, it's constantly changing. The challenge is accepting what is, letting go of what was, and looking forward to what is yet to come.

Since our winter has been pretty rough this year, there have been so many things cancelled, and many days of being iced in. While some of the main roads are open, many of our secondary roads have made it too difficult to try to get to the main roads. I have spent a lot of time home, had a few fundraisers cancelled and it now appears that my trip to Southern Missouri will not be able to happen because of the weather. I am very sad about this since I have put forth a lot of effort, but I know those that will be there will get along just fine. As our big thank you event of the year, THANK YOU!!! to all our veterans for their service to country and their communities!!!

Salli