Most of you that read this blog know my life is always very fluid. I am usually busy, have several projects going, and have very strong opinions. Some things will never change. I always attempt to find positivity when things get tough, I attempt to look for the good in people rather than find faults, and stive to constantly learn through my own research. Some days, being me is difficult. Sometimes, I wish I could just go with the flow of whatever is going on, but that is not who I am. I like organization, I like having a direction/directions that allow me to simplify what needs to be done. I like structure with flexibility.
So today, I am going to cover many topics, as my coffee chats usually do. I have deliberately not written for a while. With such chaos and extremism happening lately, it has been tough for me not to gall into that same extremism. I respect people, for the most part, until I am disrespected. At that point, I either remove them from my circle or become reticent, until I can get a handle on my own emotions. I have met so many incredible people throughout my life; all walks of life. It has truly broken my heart to see the ugliness come out of so many other hearts. We are all humans and that should be our connection to do better. You have a 2-party system that has systemically baited one against another, for decades. Why do we as Americans allow this? It is not one party against another, it should be the American people against these career politicians. Our country was founded on the principal of citizen politicians, and somewhere along the way, we have allowed those in politics to remain in office for decades. Not to mention that these career politicians have become millionares off of this constant division and special interest buy-outs. I vote, it is my constitutional right and my responsibility as a citizen. I vote based on my research...not because I am told by the media or union, bribed by the falsehood of "free" stuff, or even by pressure from peers. I will never vote for anyone who has been in a political office for more than 8 years. At that point, they are washed up, and need to go get a real job. These career long politicians do not deserve their pensions for life, their "finge" benefits for life, nor do they deserve more than 8 years in office. Period! I have never cared what your skin color, your sexual preferances, or even political views are. I look at people. Is there racism, of course. It's been part of the world for thousands of years. While there seems to be a rise in the claims today, it is no more systemic than a man on the moon. What so many do not realize is that you are being shown only what those that wish to keep this country divided want you to see. Would you want to be a police officer in the world today? You never know what you are up against. You don't know if you are going to make it home, after your shift. You have criminals running amok and being praised, you have a few peaceful protesters being infiltrated with thugs just begging for uproar, and you have both political parties fueling constant division. We are no longer given information to make our own decisions, we are spoon fed proganda from our media. We are censored on social media, and if you attempt to research information...you better be prepared to dig; because you are only able to pull up the generalized information on a quick search...and that information is usually linked back to a news article. We have groups that have further divided our people. Those groups have behaved like heathens and criminals. Wanting and expecting justice is American! That is the way our country should be, however, the words I was taught as a young person come back to mind "2 wrongs will never make a right." You want to fight the issues in our country today? Quit listening to the media, quit buying into the extremism, and focus on your individual communties. You want to make everything truly for everyone, it has to start local...not with a government that has systemically baited Democrats against Republicans, Black against White, Straight against Gay. Folks, we ALL bleed red, therefore we are one.
Off one soap box, and on to another! Sort of. I am American, period. I have a plethora of heritage included in my history: German, English, Native American, and Irish; just to name a few. Could I claim to be "Something"-American...yep, we ALL could. The thing is, you're either American or not. While most of us have ancestors from multiple places in the world, we have a responsibility to the country we are born citizens to. You see, have such a colorful backdrop of amazing ancestors, I am honored to learn about their cultures and journeys, learn about their trials, and learn how truly blessed I am; above all, I am American. Born and raised! My extended family, I think we cover a kalidoscope of color/sexuality/races, and even politics. I have seen the ugliness drift into my family with all the division happening in our country today. The thing for me, I won't argue politics, your opinion is yours. That is your right, but my opinion is mine...and that is my right. I will not go on someone else's social media page and voice my opinion. That is disrespectful. However, I refuse to divide family because of opinion. Family is family, while some may be willing to act in such an irresponsible way, I will not. Fortunately, I'm kind of the black sheep. That means while I love my family beyond time and space, most don't have anything to do with me or my personal family. That is their choice. I live my life by my morals and standards, and those that want to be involved are always welcome. As I live my life, another family trait that I have inherited; adopting non-blood family, or chosen family if you will. I grew up with families that always welcomed the "strays." Those that didn't have a family of their own, those that had family that was not caring/involved with whomever, and something that I kind of crack up about...those that marry into our family...we joke that once you marry in, you never get out. That is something that very few can say. I love my extended family. I had the best Grandparents and Great-Grandparents. They were such amazing people. My family, on both sides, worked their asses off to have anything they ever had. Some were town people, some were farm people; but ALL were GOOD people. That has been my goal in life, to be the kind of person that would not only make my Grandparents and Great-Grandparents proud, but to be the kind of person that they were. I have opened my home to many through the years. Those that didn't have anywhere else to go, those that needed a hand up, those that needed food or even just a shoulder to cry on while they picked themselves back up. THAT my friends, is what this world needs. Leave the judgements to whatever greater power that be when our lives on Earth are done. You can not live in a glass house and throw stones, it will come back to bite you.
Family. Something to me that means EVERYTHING! A good friend and an incredible author(yes, Melissa, we have some different opinions but you are an amazing person!); coined the phrase "Family Knows No Boundaries," and my Grandmother coined the phrase, "Circling the wagons," BOTH of these have played a big part of my life. Obviously, my Grandmother's has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Melissa's for about 7 years, I think. Circling the wagons, meant when family needed you, you were there. The family would circle you to lift you up, in whatever need was needed. Family knows no boundaries, to me, meant pretty much the same...Family always comes first, being there for whatever needs were needed. While I had to spend several years growing up and realizing during those years of 18 to about 30, that I didn't know half what I thought I did...then I had my own family, and it started making sense. My personal family has always welcomed people. Whether they were kids that my son went to school with that needed an outside opinion, or thoe kids that didn't have much of a home life that needed something, friends that became family; my little family has always tried to welcome everyone. We have gotten bit a few times, but I always try to find the positives, and look for good in people. I have found some that finding good is not possible, and I have had to let go and not dwell. Some have proven that no matter how much you give, it will never be enough. For that, I have had to embrace a phrase I truly hate..."it is what it is." In my personal family, we embrace family. We still eat dinner together, around the table every single night. We work on our family farm, as a family, every single day. We talk about about everything, and share everything. I do not tolerate lies, deceit, or even half-truths. My household knows that I may get mad for awhile with the truth, but you lie/deceive/or tell only half a story and I will be pissed for a long time!! Trust is something I depend on. Once that trust is broken, it is rare if ever allowed back. Family, trust, loyalty and responsibility are priorities in my house.
Family Farm. Our little family farm is in constant motion. We have made some restructuring within the farm, to push it towards paying for itself. I fought this idea with my husband for the first 6 years we have owned it. His opinion was that it was not purchase to make money. While that is true to some degree, you can not have something that only requires spending without having a steady means of income to allow for the spending. So, after 2 years of restructuring the farm and investing into a flexible business plan...I believe we are finally on our way in a better direction. Obviously, there are a lot of "surprise" expenses when you deal with any type of farm. Whether that be equipment repair/replacement, veterinarian expenses, loss of livestock, equipment malfunction, or even market flucuation such as this year. 2020 has been a bad year for everyone. From our farm perspective, the market drops that came about in the first 2 quarters, hit our farm horribly. Having a great year of hay is great, but it seems many people had a great year; so hay is not work as much as some years currently. So, we will sit on our excess until it is needed. The markets, for cattle and sheep all but fell out the bottom in the late first quarter and most of the second quarter. This virus scam, halted our farm visit days and many other activities. Now, before I get all kinds of hate mail...I truly believe this virus is scary and real. I do not believe that all the drama associated with it was necessary. My family followed the guidelines for the "2 week curve" only to spend the next 4 1/2 months with my husband laid off, and while there may have been some that the extra $600 weekly was more than they were making...that amount was still less than my husband would have made had he been working. Thankfully, I can budget and juggle...for the most part. We are hopeful that next year will be better and will help us get back on track, and that the remaining months of this year do not cause us to sink.
My off-the-farm job. I work with/for veterans. I was given an incredible opportunity 3 years ago to volunteer some time working with veterans. Since then, I have continued to work with and for veterans. I am currently with Wake Foundation, volunteering many hours a week, to ease the needs of veterans in my region. My current region covers Southeast Iowa, Northeast Missouri and Western Illinois. I have helped at some events through the general chapter. I have met some amazing veterans throughout the events I have been involved with. Last year, my family farm hosted the first disabled veteran deer hunt in my region. It was my job to handle the organizing, applications, fundraising, decorating and my husband and I did most of the cooking as well. This year, I have blessed to allow the hunt to include some hunters in Missouri, as well as, in Iowa again. With some hang ups from last year, the virus stuff from this, and a few hitches otherwise, the hunt this year will go on. I have tried to build from last year, to give our veterans an incredible weekend, good food, and the much needed commrodarie they need this year. While I currently work with a foundation, my focus is on the veterans. As I do with everything in my life, I see a need and I want to fix that need, any way I possibly can. This year has been especially difficult with the virus having so many businesses shut down, and lost revenues; in businesses and fundraising. However, even if I had to pay for the hunt from my own pockets, I would. Politics, has played into so many of the lives of our veterans. Too many have focused on the financial gains or getting a leg up and lost sight of working for and with all veterans. Since I am not paid, I raise money for this region that stays in this region, and only for the events held here. Because I am not a contender for making a profit off anything, my focus can stay where it needs to be...on the veterans.
Coffee Chat. As most know, there is ALWAYS more! Having hit the mid-40's mark in my life, has brought about a whole new wave of introspect. There are so many of us that mark our mid-40's with our children being old enough to tend (mostly) to themselves, juggling peri-menopause with empty nests, rediscovering our spouses after being focused on raising our children, in a position of having aging parents, juggling friendships, and a whole host of other areas that didn't really affect us until now. The phases we go through in life change us, just as the trials in our lives do. For me, reaching 35 was the beginning of transition. I had my youngest later (in my early 30's) after a run-in with cancer. So, I had an only child for 8 years prior to starting over. Now, my oldest is getting ready to turn 20, is engaged, and learning that life is not all fun and games. My youngest is 11, and is a spit-fire but truly a beacon of light to anyone she meets. Now, I have 2 kids that have reached that stage of being more independent, more self-regulating and less demanding. That has put me into a whole new phase. Now, I see more time that is not being demanded by my children, but that time is being demanded by building a stable family farm to pass on to them, and devoting more time to the amazing veterans I get the honor of working with. My time for nearly 20 years, has been secured by children. I was always a mom first. Everything and everyone else was pushed behind what my children needed. Now, I find that having much in common with others, is difficult. I have spent nearly 20 years as a stay-at-home mom. I worked a handful of jobs for a short time when finances called for it, but friendships and even being a wife, were put last. Everything I did was for my kids. While to some degree that will never change, now I am kind of floundering to adjust. I did not do much in the way of going out once my kids were born. My kids are homebodies. They like their comforts of home, so overnight trips along or girls weekend trips came to a halt. Now, my youngest, refuses to stay overnight anywhere...and has a fit if I mention going anywhere alone for more than a couple of hours. We try to teach our kids the importance of becoming productive members of society, to find their wings so they can find their passion. However, my kids love their lives. They want to be part of the farm, stay close to home, and happily be near their parents. Selfishly, this has made my heart very happy. I never wanted them to feel they had to leave home, that their opinions/ideas weren't valued, or that they needed to be anything other than what made them happy. I have never cared about what career they wanted, as long as their choice made them happy. As I keep telling them, if you can make money from doing what you love, you have found your niche. Until then, keep trying to find the career that will allow you to feel you are making the most/best difference. Sure it takes money to live, but you should never have more going out that you have coming in from a single source. Learning from our mistakes, from our trials AND from our successes. Life is journey meant to be lived not controlled. As I struggle through some areas of life, and thrive to be the best person I can be; I keep reminding myself that not I am not alone in this crazy time of life. That even when some things must come to an end, other things can grow and only become better.
For today, I will leave each of you with this: Every single one of us struggles with trials and errors. We need to be kind to each other even if we disagree.
Salli
