Understanding My Life.....

As I sit for a coffee break, I am reflecting again.  My life is so far removed from what I knew growing up, and even farther removed than what anyone I had ever known.  For the past 8 years, I have focused our lives on living more naturally and more self-sufficient.  For the past 3 years, we have included homeschooling our children, as well.  I have encountered many differing opinions, and been called many things(i.e. hippy, weird, stupid).  Honestly, I'm OK with all the names, and even OK with the criticism.  I get angry, and upset by those that believe the mainstream, is the only "correct" way of doing things.  Yes, I am different, and yes, I am odd.  I'm OK with that!  For as long as I can remember, I have thought outside the traditional box.  I've always believed there was something more than what I was seeing.  I personally had an OK public school education, was involved in many activities through school.  I grew up in a divided home with divorced parents, step parents, siblings, step-siblings, and so many of the new traditions. 

When my husband and I found out we were going to have our oldest, we knew that we were going to be making many sacrifices so that I could be home with him.  We both believed that as parents, one of us needed to be a full-time parent.  For a short time after our son was born, I tried to continue workings, but I was working to work.  I wasn't able to make enough to justify paying for gas, a babysitter, and the extra expenses.  So, within a year, I was home full-time, and continue to be that way to this day. 

In 2005, I took my oldest for his first day of public preschool.  Although, he did well, I did not like the policies that had been instituted in the school systems.  Rather than calling parents when a child was injured, they dealt with it themselves.  The only time a parent is called is if the child is sick, or in trouble.  I was not OK with that.  If my child gets hurt, SOMEONE better let me know!  Anyway, for the next 3 years, I dealt with not knowing if my child would come home hurt, half sick, or whatever.  Not to mention the next 3 years of having trouble with a child that bullied our son from first grade on.  This child had a history of trouble.  In second grade, this child tried to stab a teacher with a pencil, pulled out chunks of his own hair, and finally in December of 2008, our son finally told us what was going on.  He'd come home with cuts, scrapes, and emotionally withdrawn.  From January until May of 2008, I spent nearly everyday in the school attempting to get them to do something.  May of 2009, after meeting with the superintendent, the Principal, the teacher and the guidance counselor, I was informed that my straight A student, had zero choices.  I was told the only thing that could be done was to pull him out of that school.  After that meeting, Richard and I had a very brief conversation, and decided to pull him out.  We had already spent a year or so reaching options, because of this problem.  We had 2 choices; a Christian school that was 25 miles away, or home school.  After a week of discussions, and a little more research, we decided that home school was the best choice of us and our children.  Had we not been forced into this decision, we probably would not have changed the course we were on.  But in our eyes, we did what any parent would do when pushed into this situation.

Now, all of this being said, I wouldn't change anything we've done.  After 3 years, we have finally gotten our son past the nightmares, literally, and the fear of seeing this child around town.  We had settled into a routine, until we moved to our new home.  Yes, this has been a HUGE adjustment, it's been a change for our family, and it's been an adventure.  It's one of the most rewarding things I've known, knowing that I am teaching our kids and allowing them to make some choices as to how they learn.  There are some days, when the regular schedule is interrupted with a spur of the moment quest to find an answer about something else.  Now that we are living on a farm, we have many added subjects to our curricula.  We are able to visibly see how plants grow, see how horses/cows/chickens behave and new responsibilities to conquer.  10 years ago, I would have never believed I would be doing what I am doing.  Everything from living on a farm, to having livestock, to home schooling, to being the mom/teacher/wife.  It's very rewarding, a little frustrating, and completely amazing. 

I know that what I do is not for everyone, but I would recommend it!  Yes, there are days when it gets overwhelming, and there are days I question my own ability...but overall, I am proud of what and how our family lives!  I do not ever look for pity, envy and honestly...every time I am questioned about the effectiveness and logic of home school, I am aggravated.  I do not judge others by the way they choose to live their lives, but we are constantly judged by the way we live ours. 

Our schedule is crazy 7 days a week.  I have 2 businesses that I try to work on every day, our home school schedule, our almost 3 yr old daughter that is a very busy little person, our livestock & pets, not to mention the regular household chores.  To say our schedule is crazy busy, is an understatement.  Most days for me begin at 4:30 am, and may end as early as 11 pm.  Some days it's well after midnight.  We have the same basic schedule whether it's a weekday or a weekend.  We don't have the typical weekends/school holiday schedules.  We have been able to take vacations while others are in school, we are able to be flexible with other issues that come up.  Our kids are able to explore their own interests without stereotypes, and criticism.  They can spend more time focusing on subjects that interest them and subjects that they may struggle with.  We do not actually use grade levels to determine progress.  We progress when the kids are ready.  Some subjects our son may be at the 5th grade level, others he may be at 7th or 8th grade level.  Our daughter has been showing interest in learning and I work with her until her attention span is gone.  As our son is getting older, he is showing more interest in medicine, animals/vet work, and a more analytical side.  Our daughter is already more mechanically inclined.  She's more interested in how things work, and why they work that way.  It's been interesting to me, to see how different their learning styles are already.  While we have a program designed for kids through high school, we do have to make changes and use alternatives to fit the exact learning style for each of the kids.  That is one of the biggest advantages, I have found, to home schooling.  We are able to do more individualize teaching.

I do not have a perfect life, but it's a life that I love and treasure.  I love being with my kids everyday, no rushing around and we can talk about everything.  I know, even through all the criticism, all the turmoil, and all the crude remarks... we are doing the right thing, we are doing it to the best of our ability, and we are doing all of this as a family.  Richard and I are in total agreement with how to raise our children, and how we want to live our lives.  We talk daily about our lives, our kids, our expectations, and others opinions.  We are fortunate to have extended families that are generally supportive.  They may not agree with all our choices, but they do try to respect them.  We occasionally get a night out for just the 2 of us, but it's generally to eat out, get groceries, and lately to get stuff for the house. 

After reading an article this morning about how "weird," home school families are...I have been able to embrace the fact that, yes we are weird...and I am proud to who we are.  Although we are a small family, we are making a small change, for our future generations, in what has become normal.  Throughout history, it was the weird, that have changed the world.  We are raising 2 precious children, that could become the next Einstein, Mozart, inventors, scientists, or even presidents.  No matter how children are educated, how their families choose their lives to be, there is no reason any child should ever feel limited by the current situation, circumstance, or "class."  Children are amazing little creations with an infinite amount of curiosity that should be allowed to grow.  They should be allowed to explore every possibility, even if it's outside the norm. 

Salli