My Blank Book - Chapter 1(January) Review

As I personally venture into these blank pages and chapters of 2013, I find myself super excited to share with you all, the ups and downs, and the progress as we go along. Each month end, I will write a Chapter Review of our month. I will actually be writing these throughout the month, but will do a final publish at the end of each month. This will be a great review for me, as we always seem to be busy, but I'm never quite sure what we are busy doing. It will also help me stay on track for our family goals throughout the year. As I write during the month, I will date my writings. These will be written in journal style so you all can see the roller coaster of ups and downs as they happen. I wish each of you happy reading, and if some of my writings help in any way...that's just an added bonus! So, each month end, grab a cup of coffee, and read away! :-)



Jan. 3rd - With every new year, comes renewed hope that past pains, and mistakes will not be repeated and can be resolved. This year is no different for me. This year for me, is also a big reflection on where I want my life and the life of my children to go. After a tearful entry into 2013, January 1st was a pretty tough and emotional day. I have plans for my children and myself. It's very difficult to keep plans and goals when everyone isn't on the same page. We had a friend of J's over and that was a reminder of how other children behave. It was a reminder of how J. once behaved...and happens every time the other child is around. Yesterday was a day of battling wills in our house. Both my kids have my will and attitude. Even with that being said, they are the attitudes I had at different phases of my life. J is more the way I am now, laid back but willing to stand up for what he believes in. C is more the way I was when I was younger. Very determined, very strong-willed, and is going to do what she wants when she wants, and not until! So, a constant battle of wills is exhausting! After a day from hell yesterday, I gave an earful to everyone in my house. I work my tail off every single day, and I have allowed them to treat me as a doormat. Yesterday was the end of that. If laundry is left laying all over the house, it will come up missing and there is no one blame but themselves. If dishes are left on the table, they will stay there and whoever used them will have to deal with not having dishes when they start piling up.

Jan. 9th - I decided this past weekend it was time for the Christmas decor to come down. Although I already miss the warm feel it adds to our home, I am glad to be getting some organization back! After watch the dust fly while taking the decorations down, I decided now was a great time to start my annual Spring cleaning. I guess I figured, no time like the present! So, this year, by the time Spring actually gets here, the house will have been thoroughly cleaned and I can get outdoors more! The seed catalogs have started arriving, and I have getting some serious Spring fever. I am ready to get my hands in the dirt and start watching things grow. I have decided this year it's time to start pursuing some of the hobbies I have enjoyed in bits and pieces. One of them is photography. Don't know if it will ever be anything more than a hobby, but I do enjoy it. Another is learning all I can about wild grasses and flowers, and how they can be used in herbal medicine, cooking and just plain beauty. I believe we are basically done with the whole potty training thing, finally. After 3 years, and many times of basically having it done, I think we are done. Being able to stay home and just focus on the task at hand, has helped tremendously. J has decided to try raising pigs. We have 2 guilts that will be the breeders, and a Berkshire boar that will be finding his way to our pasture in just a few weeks. We'll see how all this takes shape. We raised 6 for market this fall/winter, and the final 2 will be headed to market next week. I am honestly ready for some fresh pork! We have a lot of projects to do this Spring/Summer/Fall. The list, unfortunately, keeps getting longer as things show themselves and begin breaking. We have self-waterers to get dug in, electricity to get put into the horse shed, and chicken house, finish the East perimeter fences, enclose one end of the horse shed, get the front deck built, gravel the driveway, re-model the kitchen before the cabinets start falling, and this is just a partial list. Scubbing the house, floor to ceiling, has proven to be a challenge and one that requires some help. The 2 rooms I have done, it's amazing how nice it is to be able to see out the windows and to have a fresher smell in. With 40-50 degree days this week, the windows have been open to allow some fresh air in and I am loving it! Since next week is supposed to be turning cold again, I am going to enjoy the week long thaw!

Jan. 19th - Every year January seems to be the month I dread. It's usually cold and gloomy, and after a month or so of short pay checks...it's the month I see how far behind we got in December. Since we have officially been on our little farm for a year now, it's a little easier for me to see what I can do with the budget. What expenses are variable and which ones are fixed. There are always hidden expenses when you try to live from a budget. Someone or something gets sick, the animals eat more hay than you baled, the property taxes are a lot higher than you planned, or you have someone who likes to spend money. Yes, we have encountered all of this over the past year. 2013 began with the uncertainty of our government. The tax debate that has been referred to as the "Fiscal Cliff." I can tell you, we are not rich by any shape of the word! However, after the new year, our taxes increased by $25 per week, and our tax return is going to be thousands less that normal. I seriously want to go to D.C. and tell the politicians a thing or two. $8000 a year, is a BIG increase out of our budget! Gotta love a politician that lies! ;)

Jan. 25th - After a week from hell, I am really questioning my own resolve. I am normally a positive person. I don't usually dwell on hardships, set backs, or the negative energy of those around me. However, this last week has kicked me pretty hard. I am feeling pretty discouraged. I am not accustomed to feeling so overwhelmed. Emotionally, physically and financially - I am lost. I am not finding the communication at home that I need to talk out what I am feeling. I am not understanding the complete disregard for my needs and tired of making life easier for everyone else while my life is falling apart. I try to find something everyday to be grateful for, and there are plenty of moments even in a week like this one. However, I am having a difficult time outweighing the bad and good.

January 28th - Well, my personal quest to use second-hand, or recycled materials for many of the projects we want to accomplish has finally sunk in. Just last night, my husband said we need to look at used items before getting too crazy planning our remodeling projects. Needless to say, this was music to my ears! I love the idea of using recycled materials. Whether it's indoors or out, there is no use spending the outrageous prices of new when you can purchased second-hand items at a fraction of the cost. Then you can truly make it your own, save a boat load of money, and use the savings for something fun...like a vacation! Since this conversation last night, I found and entire lot of kitchen base cabinets, not too far away and cheap! The price for all the cabinets will be what the price of one new one would be. I am happier than a pig in shit on this one! Can't wait to get them, and start sanding and re-staining! Keep checking back for my latest finds and treasures! ;)

January 29th - Wow, 3 seasons in 24 hours?! We have have had 60's for temps, now we have rain and storms, and before all is finished tomorrow night...1-4 inches of snow is forecast. Love Mother Nature's mood swings. It's such a dreary day, but I love hearing the thunder and seeing the rain. After last year's drought, the moisture is sure welcome. On another note, my knee is finally not throbbing. It popped really loud yesterday, and since then the throbbing is gone. It's still stiff and a little sore, but I believe somehow I just popped it out of socket. Glad not to be hobbling so much! Now, I just have 10 days worth of housework to catch up on. I suppose I need to finish all this indoor stuff over the next month so I will have time to get in my gardens come March! Planning so many projects for this year has given me a lot to consider, but also has me really excited to see the end results. Gravel for the drive, front deck, enclosed shed, new kitchen, courtyard in the front of the house, beautiful trellis' for the gardens, companion gardening, flower beds, trees.... I am super excited!

January 30th - After 2 days of spring type weather, woke up today to a white ground and it's still snowing at Noon! I am really getting restless as of late. I am needing some time just to me. No one demanding my time or attention, no one yelling for something. I feel like the last 3 months have been full of demands, from holiday gatherings to entertaining, to my own family demands that have me feeling like I'm being taken for granted. I love my family, but some days I just want to run as far and as fast as possible in any direction to get away for a bit. I have allowed all of my interests to be thrown by the wayside to care for my family 100% of the time. I may get an hour or two on occasion to myself, but not much more. I am needing a weekend of time to find not only a solid ground, but for some quality mental health time for just me. I am sure some will read this and think I am being selfish, and ungrateful. Believe me, I would not trade my family, our life, or any of it. So, before you start judging me, walk in my shoes, live my life, deal with the daily issues I deal with, and then you can have an opinion I will listen to. I have been judged for years about everything under the sun and quite frankly, it pisses me off. I am not perfect(nor would I want to be), I have days that everything goes wrong and I just want to cry, I have days that I don't believe in my ability to be a parent/spouse/friend, and even though I have those days..... RARELY, do they happen. But when I do have them the judgements and opinions I hear are maddening and make things worse. I know that very soon, I will be outdoors again and able to keep check on my emotions but until then I am struggling! I don't handle emotions well, so for those who are near me...please understand this. I am not mad, I am just struggling with my emotions and trying to understand.



I will be posting this journal today. It amazes me to read back through the insanity that happens in a months time in our home. Brace yourselves, January is typically our "quiet" month!

~Sal

Frugal? Cheap? Either way, it is what it is!

After many years of struggling to to explain that everything new, isn't necessarily better; I think it has sunk in! Amazingly, it wasn't me that struggled with this idea. I have spent the last several years placing more value on used/second-hand items than buying the new styles.

Last night, I heard the most wonderful words, I think I have ever heard. My husband, who is more "new" leaning, made the statement,"I think before we get to far into our remodel plans, I think we need to look for used stuff and see if we can't find the stuff you are wanting and needing a little cheaper." This was music to my ears! I do not like most of the new styles or designs that are out. All the designs I fall in love with are: antique, country or rustic. This being said, I was so excited when we were discussing the different remodel projects we need to do and he said I could start gathering used products.

I redesigned my kitchen layout to make it more user friendly and it's going to not only increase the cabinet/counter space but also all for more room in my kitchen and open up the floor plan. The master bath plans eliminate all the angled walls, give us a bigger shower, a bigger closet, and still keeps it open. The rest of the house is minor upgrades, adding some built in shelving and new flooring. None of it amounts to much, financially but, it does add up when there is so much upgrading that needs to be done.

Needless to say, when the more detailed remodels come in, I will be calling my brother to come help out. Enlarging doors, putting in normal size windows, that sort of thing is outside my realm of knowledge! Fortunately, I have several family members with contractor skills!

Designing the landscape has been another challenge. With living so far out, it has good and bad points. It's wonderful to not be on top of neighbors, not have a ton of traffic, and its absolute beauty is astounding. The bad? It costs a fortune to have anything delivered, it's a long trip for running errands, and living in rural areas doesn't give the freedom of Sunday shopping without a long drive. So, back to the landscape.... Initially, we had differing opinions about how to lay everything out. Now, I believe my outlook may be taking hold.

A circular drive with a large flag and flowers, fencing with gate opening and wagon wheels surrounded with flowers, a fenced orchard with an arbor entry, a wild flower garden fenced with arbor entry, no-till gardening, a drive to the gravel road for easier access, a courtyard and deck on the front of the house, a rock patio on the west side, beautiful trees placed strategically placed for shade and beauty, and a streamed timber area beautified for enjoyment, pictures, and a future building area.

I believe I can do so much of the plans with very little money, done to my perfection, improving the value of our home/land, and do more to live further off-the-grid. Living fences, soil replenishing planting, organic living, and making less of a foot print on this great planet are just a few of my long term plans. Eventually getting a well dug, having alternate energy sources and less need for the costly a/c and furnace. There is so much we can do to be self-sufficient, and save money. If only I could get more people to follow our lead! ;)

This year, keep an eye on this blog and on our web site to see pictures of my projects.

Writing my book as I go along

5 days into a new year and so much has happened already. I know the coming holiday let down starts. January is always more somber than any other month. We had 6 weeks of parties, gatherings, the beautiful decorations and way too much food.

As I get set to start my regular schedules again Monday, I can not help but to be ready. Yes, it's been nice spending so much time with family, baking continuously for 2 months, and even having my home look like Santa's workshop. Now, it's time to take down the decorations, scrub walls & windows, return furniture to it's prior locations, get organized and clean out the stuff we no longer use. That being said, I have only 3 months to get everything done before it's time for garden season.

So, as I begin to minimize the stuff in our home, maybe I can find the organization I need and the cleanliness I am craving before I spend most of my days outdoors. So, in addition to our regular schedules, we will be organizing, eliminating and cleaning every nook and cranny of our home in the coming months!

I don't have much in the way of wisdom with my post today, but know that as events present themselves, I will share my thoughts. We will be touching on Savings for the new year, budgeting frugally, not to mention whatever current events may strike a nerve for me.

Wishing you all a great weekend, and the strength to conquer your goals throughout the year!
~Sal~

365 Blank Pages - Getting Started

"We are at the beginning of a 365 page book full of blank pages! New Year allows us to redirect our goals, dreams and ambitions. Use each and every day to make your story beautiful! Fill those 365 pages with some of the greatest days of your life! It's never to late to make your life great!"

When I wrote this, this morning, I found myself looking far beyond today. Far beyond the beginning of this new book. It was the words of a dear friend that helped me look at this from a different perspective. Those words were this: "I'm having a hell of a time writing the first page, I don't even want to think about the other 364."

It's amazing to me that I didn't even think about that. I didn't think about the very beginning. I was so focused on the end product. While I don't claim to have any or all answers to life's challenges, and I have plenty of my own, I do tend to look at the big picture instead of these road bumps. While I haven't always been this way, that is who I have become.

With that being said, I want to look at the main parts of a book. Since the first page is typically the title page....page one is written for you! So, page one is the "Life of ." Page One...DONE! Now to move on. Table of Contents. So, for the sake of this analogy, each new month is a new chapter. You have now completed the first and beginning of your new book, your new year, and the start of a more intended life! The next page is typically for acknowledgements. Who do you have to thank and mention for your life? Parents, friends, kids, and etc. are usually mentioned. Another page, DONE!

Now, we begin Chapter 1. Chapter 1 is a fresh page, a new opportunity to direct your life where you want it to go. Think about that. The beginning of a new book is just that. It's the beginning! This first chapter sets the stage for the whole book. It allows the reader to jump into the story and follow along on the seat of their pants, just waiting for what's coming next. You have 31 pages to set your stage! Set your goals for the next 31 days, set your stage. Each and every day, do something - even if it's the smallest thing, to work towards those goals. Use these first 31 pages to give you a head-in into your remaining 11 chapters.

You can do this, you can achieve everything your heart desires IF you are willing to work towards it! Setting goals, writing them down, and doing something every single day; will move you in the directions of those goals. If you find that you have ventured off the path of your goals, it's ok! It happens. Just stop, take a look at the goals you have written down, and get back on course!

Remember that you will have a constant ping-pong game going on in your head. I guarantee it! It will be the back and forth of "I can do and I can't do this." Whenever your head begins the negativity of "I can't do this," you have to be aware that it's happening, then say to yourself.... "I WILL DO THIS!" Be aware that this will go on, it will get to you on occasion, and you will have to nip it in the bud! You will have to look at your book(Journal), and ask yourself if your thoughts and actions are moving you towards where you want to go. If they aren't then it's time to get rid of those thoughts, just think of a recycle bin in your mind, and replace them with thoughts that will move you in the direction you want to go.

Just remember there will be negative people and "things" that will try to stomp on your goals. Those things and people will be your test to see if you are ready to move forward. So, use those road bumps to slow down and relook at your goals and redirect if necessary!

So, as I leave you for the day, I will leave you with this: Find a dear friend that will not judge or criticize you, someone who will support these new chapters and begin what is sure to be your best year ever!

Happy New Year, and New Chapters!
~Salli~