Happy Anniversary - 14 years and counting.

"Time has the illusion of speeding by or creeping along, but in reality we have the same 24 hours in every single day!"

Since 1997, I have spent the majority of my time in Missouri. That's 16 years of my 38 1/2 years of life...not even half my life. However, even through all the hardships, all the drama, and all the roller coasters... I have found home. I was not raised here, nor did I grow up living the kind of life I live now. As a young adult, I found a life that included some of the finer ways. Fancy restaurants, spur of the moment trips to Canada/New York, being treated like royalty. Yet, it wasn't where my heart was. I never really fit in, in my life in Illinois. I was either too "grown up" to behave like the child I was expected to be, or my personal identity didn't match what everyone else was doing so I was different. I loved the fancy life, but it wasn't me either. I wasn't good at being a trophy. The life here has had it's ups and downs, but here in Missouri I found my home.

As time has gone on, I look back and realize how so many different paths I could have taken that would have changed the course of my life. The many times I fought this life, and all it stood for. The very person that has taught me so much, made me so angry, put up with my independence, and helped me find my home. The person I am referring to is the person this blog is about, my husband. He took this independent, Illinois town kid, with zero knowledge of farm life and helped me transform my life into a life I am proud of. A life that began together 14 years ago June 26th. With all the trials, the ups and downs, the roller coaster of emotions and life dramas, the health issues, the birth of our 2 children, the purchase of our first home and farm, and it continues...the man who has made me mad, knows every single button to push, and the one who claims to love me through it all.

June 26th, 14 years ago, we stood in the little white country church that your Grandparents attended, your parents were married in, your uncle was married in, and we were to be married in. The family history with that town, that church and just within that side of your family is remarkable. We had a beautiful day for our wedding. All 4 sets of our parents were there, your brother and sisters, my sister and 1 brother, and some of my closest friends even came down. I was a nervous wreck! I was terrified of making that jump, but excited at the same time. Our reception was very simple, and we had a few couples that did country dancing with us. When we left the reception, we made the trip for our honeymoon. We didn't go far, just to Branson. We had a few days down there, and decided to come home to begin our lives. A year and 3 months later, we welcomed our oldest into our lives. Even with all the trials of being first time parents, we made it. We argued, we disagreed, and yet we made it. After several miscarriages, and 8 years, we welcomed our youngest into our family. Life finally seemed to settle into a routine. We finally got past all the crazy little arguments, we were able to talk about generally everything, and we have continued to grow as a couple and a family.

As we are approaching our anniversary, I have to say, I have come to depend on this man. I depend on his opinion, his knowledge, his strength, his charm, his humor, and his love. I depend on our morning conversations over coffee, his sweet text messages during the day, the little things he does and I'm certain he doesn't he know he does them. I depend his shoulder when I need to cry, I depend on him being the pillar of our family when something needs to be said. While all our decisions are made jointly, he is typically the final say....although occasionally I can change his opinion if I feel it needs changed.

There have been times in our marriage when it seems time has all but stopped, and other times that time has flown past. I know we all have the same 24 hours every single day, I am happy to spend as many as possible with our family and with my husband. I know we both have days when we really don't like each other, but we always love each other or we wouldn't have made it this many years. Through all the trials, all the drama, and everything else we've encountered...here we are. I know I am a few days early, but I have been so grateful to you, my dear...

So, I know others will read this, but to you my husband...Thank you for 14 years of patience, love, and understanding. Thank you for being my rock, my sounding board, my support and even my voice when I couldn't find it. Thank you for helping me find my home, and helping me to find this wonderful way of life that has helped me find fulfillment. Because of you, I was able to find the person within that makes me happy, and a person I am proud of. Because of you, I strive everyday to be a better person. I love you more than I could ever tell you or show you.
~S~