Final Coffee Chat of 2015

It's the final coffee chat of 2015. I will be taking a short hiatus while having to regroup, and find my footing again. This year has been an interesting year for me.

2015, even though not intentional, has been a year of revelations. There have been so many pieces of my personal that have hovered in a balancing act or on the brink of disaster; and everything has finally come crashing down. Now, it's time to pick up the pieces, dust myself off, dry the tears, learn the lessons I should have learned throughout my life, cut ties, and move on. Life can get pretty messy when you think what you do for others will ever be returned. It gets pretty messy when the ones you should be able to trust are the ones that consistently betray you. When those you should be able able to trust are more than happy to use whatever you have to give until it no longer serves them, only to spin a story to make them into a victim. I am not a victim, I am just someone who gives the benefit of doubt too many times, and takes people at their word too freely. Unfortunately, actions speak louder than words. I have received those actions loud and clear. I know where I stand, and although it hurts, I am walking away. You can only burn someone so many times before they wise up, and get the hell out of dodge.

The fragile balancing act I have done most of my life is done. I have a loyalty to only those loyal to me. It's already been proven to me, who is and is not loyal to me. It's already been proven that using people is the way some get through life. I guess to each their own, but that is not my way. I don't find it necessary to lie to people. I don't find it necessary to use people. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. I know this is an antique idea, but it is my belief. It's come time to cut ties, and remove those causing the drama, from my life. It's a difficult choice to make, but it's a choice that has been made for me.

It's time to refind my footing, once again. I'm getting really good at picking up the pieces and moving on. We are closing in on the end of 2015, so I am pushing myself to be done with the drama, the B.S. and the numbness that has taken over my heart. Somehow, I am the one that ends up in turmoil over attempting to help, so that too is done. No more for me. The drama, is being eliminated from my life, permanently. Some thought I was a cold hearted bitch before, all I can say is, You ain't seen nothin' yet!

I am moving forward. I am done balancing and being a door mat. This is my life, and I intend to live it to the fullest, even if it means doing so, with just my little family of 4. I am a strong, intelligent, curious and fair minded person; and it has been tested to it's breaking point. Disappointment is one of the harshest lessons to learn.

I am moving on. It's done. It's over. I'm done. 2015 has taught me some pretty tough lessons. I've learned, and I won't be going back. I have big enough shoulders to take the blame for attempting to help, but it will not ever happen again. These are bridges that can never be rebuilt. Lesson learned. I wish the best to those not staying in my life, but they are no longer welcome in my life.

Good-bye 2015, good-bye to those that have taught me a harsh reality. I'm better than this B.S., and I don't need it. I'm not going to look back.

On to a better 2016. Much health, peace and prosperity to you all. This blog will become private after the first of the year. If you wish to read it beyond January 1, 2016; you will need to contact me directly. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.