A little rambling

I am blown away by the complete disrespect by so many people. Everyone preaches tolerance until the come across an opinion that differs from theirs. Then all of a sudden, not only are they intolerant but disrespectful. Then you begin seeing name calling(as if we have slipped back to grade school), and so much judgement! The last I knew, there was not a single person on the face of this earth that was perfect! It has become so bad that I almost hate getting on social media and I refuse to watch television. Now, to top it all off, we were thrown into a panic over something that has not even come close to the dire warnings from the beginning.

I do not mean to minimize any loss of life. It is terrible that anyone passes on, but the fact is, people die every single day. They are passing from viruses, cancer, abortion, heart disease, medical mistakes, prescription medications, car accidents and so much more. Are we supposed to hole up in our homes or on our properties and just exist for our lifetime? I have watched, the past few months, so many be degraded and bullied for keeping an open mind and not going into panic. While I have also watched those who have chosen to play the safe side and stay home as directed, be degraded, belittled and bullied for that too. For me, it becomes a giant balancing act. Unfortunately, it was one that has proven to be a bigger and costlier challenge than I would have ever guessed.

I'm a researcher. I want truth, not a bunch of talking heads telling me what to think. I'm one of those people that question EVERYTHING! I want to know the why's, the how's...don't tell me to do something without having the information to back up what you say. I want facts, not some regurgitated information from social media or news sources. Show me actual facts from true professionals, not politicians. Just a heads up, I do not vote by party. I vote by person...with a lot of research. Although I tend to be very conservative on most things, I am not above trying to see both sides! So, anyone claiming me to be otherwise, does not know me, and has zero right to have an opinion about me.

I have struggled with this "pandemic." I never have seen numbers that have terrified me. Although I will always do what is best for my family first and foremost, I was not prepared to see our country and economy shut down. I really don't think anyone was. This is something that I'm pretty sure no one alive has ever seen. We have been in a lot of uncharted waters this year. My own family will always come first when ever decisions are made. I have received more nasty messages than I care to count, and it has really made me mad. What each of you do, is your choice. What I do, is mine...no one else's.

I live by the motto, "to each their own." I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, and I have no place judging anyone. However, there are plenty out there that seem to think the sun rises and sets in their ass! They are going to be highly disappointed when they realize it doesn't! As with my political views, my views on faith are different as well. I am not religious, nor will I ever be. I have a very strong spiritual faith, but I refuse to have any human tell me what to believe, think or feel. Every single person on this earth has their own path, their own beliefs, and their own purpose for being here. The only thing I try to do, is treat others the way they treat me. I will always be kind, until I have a reason not to be.

I am a firm believer in following my instincts. When something feels off...it usually is. I listen intently when I talk to people. Most of the time, reading their body language, watching their actions and again, listening to my gut instincts...tells me all I need to know. I won't judge but I will limit my exposure to people that drain me. When people become too needy, too demanding, too self-centered, too political, too religious, or when their stories don't remain the same; I will withdraw. I have too much in my own life to have people that drain my energy, add to it. When people begin showing true colors, I find myself pulling back too. I have had people for years tell me that they know me. My standard answer is always, I doubt it. It's not meant to be mean, but no one truly knows me, not all of me. I do not let anyone get that close. There are some that know a lot more than others, but they have been in my life 25-40 years. I am not someone that gets close to most people. I have a serious distrust of people. It's one of my many flaws.

Anyway, this quarantine stuff has really thrown me. We made a decision to quarantine our family on the 20th of March. At the time, I was listening to news sources and reading all the garbage on social media. My mistake. I questioned our Governors lack of leadership on shutting down the state. The thing I neglected to understand was the tremendous impact it would have economically, but also my own lack of information on numbers/cases/occurrences. He was being given information from "professionals," I was not. I was reading opinions. I was listening to media. I watched Illinois go on lockdown, watched all rights being squandered in the name of "safety." All done through government. I watched Iowa take precautions but never fully shut down. I watched my own Governor struggle. The thing for me is I would not want to have their jobs. Knowing that no matter what you do, it will be wrong in someone's eyes. Knowing that you will be ostracized no matter what you do. The same goes for the president. With all the power struggles in Washington D.C., a president only has 4-8 years to do what they can. The issue comes in when you have a Congress and Senate in their positions for decades; it makes their argument that it is a president's fault for issues that happened before his time in office, obsolete. The issues we have in this country have accumulated over decades of poor judgements, poor budgeting, and a lack of understanding about the Constitution and Bill of Rights, that were supposed to be the law of the land. Too many have taken doing something good, too far.

My family has quarantined, and we have limited exposure. We have lost a lot of income, not only from jobs but also from our livestock and hay. We have gone weeks without visiting with our loved ones. The thing for us, aside from the income, our lives have not changed that much. We do not go out to visit with much of anyone, we do not go out to eat on a regular basis, and we definitely do not spend much time with any of our extended families. So, our "normal" hasn't changed much. I have had my fill of being chewed up and out, and it pissed me off. The thing is, all it did was remind me that I can be thankful that I am not one of those people.

We have a small family farm. It takes every single one of us to keep up with what goes on here. Between the farm chores and the outside jobs; our lives are full. We don't have the time or desire to try to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else for that matter. We don't travel much, and honestly, we can't. Our idea of a great break is sitting around a bonfire or enjoying our pool. We love having get togethers when we can, but we don't really have much time for much beyond trying to get our farm where we want it to be. I personally hate games. I refuse to play them, but if I am drawn into one...you can bet I will be playing to win. Games are for kids and they should be left there.

As we start seeing the country, states and the economy start to reopen,I encourage each of you to support your local businesses. Support those mom & pop businesses that have been struggling, the local farmers markets and livestock farms that have no where to go with their animals. Support your communities to help increase the local economy, and leave the big box stores to fend for themselves. While I know that places like Walmart have taken over, and it seems impossible to not utilize them in some means, do everything you can to support your local communities. So many of the businesses locally support our kids sports programs, events for veterans, and even local tourism. Our local communities need each of us more than ever.

I wish you all good health, safety and compassion as we begin reentering everyday life.
Salli

Constant noise is annoying me!

It is truly astounding how weird the times have become. So much noise all the time, yet nothing of particular importance. It's a barrage of pathetic politics, media not delivering news, religious folks determining it's the end of times, educated idiots supposedly "know what's best" and all of a sudden any deaths NOT directly from Covid-19 have miraculously disappeared. We are constantly being given half information that so many are taking and exploiting. Now, before I get ambushed with lots of hate messages, as I typically do after voicing my own opinions, save your time and energy...you have your opinion, I have mine. I will respect your opinion. Just because we may disagree gives me ZERO rights to think poorly of you. I just ask for the same respect.

You see, I know how strong-willed, hard headed, stubborn and opinionated I am. I've dealt with the consequences of that my entire life! I went from being a kid, to being a kid from divorced parents, to a kid raising siblings, to being expected to be a kid again after raising kids, to a young adult who thought I knew everything, to so many trials unexpected, to being a mom, to cancer, to miscarriages, to a surprise child, to being forced to learn holistic medicine because of health issues with that child, to early menopause...that I am still dealing with. I learned early on that learning everything I could possibly learn, would only help me. I went on to earn an Associates in Business, and multiple certificates with honors over the past 26 years. I have very independent views in politics, I am spiritual but not religious. I have an opinion about life that I wish more had..."TO EACH THEIR OWN." I am no where near perfect, there fore...I have ZERO right to judge anyone else. I believe in being kind but not a door mat. I have been pushed to the point of no longer being kind, and then accused of being mean. I have been down and brought back up when I have seen unselfish acts. I will help anyone I can until I feel that I am taken advantage of. I am honest and blunt to a fault, but I attempt to be as tactful as I can. I am reserved when I am not comfortable around someone, but I am an open book with those I trust. Trust is something that is difficult for me. I will always try to find the good in people even if I'm told there is none...until I see otherwise. I tend to be too caring, too empathetic, and too compassionate. I always try to see both sides of a story.

All that being said, I have plenty of faults! I have this weird twist of responsibility and free spirit. I go out of my way to always remain professional and friendly even when under my breath I am cussing like a sailor. The few that know me well enough, can read my expressions and see my true thoughts in my eyes. Those that can't, and there are a LOT, never pay attention to anything. I have moments when procrastination is my biggest enemy. I tend to get restless. When that happens, it's never a good thing. I hate stereotypes, expectations, and stringent routines. I refuse to do things, on a daily basis, that do not bring me happiness/fulfillment/peace. I tend to have a control issue. I like to have control over my environment, and when I don't...it's ugly! When I am upset/angry, I tend to withdraw from everyone and everything until I have a grasp on how to handle whatever sent me spiraling.

I have spent nearly 10 years working with a group of Holistic providers through a private group. It's a lot of statistics, a lot of studies, and a challenging change of view from the modern ways of thinking. It has provided me an opportunity to learn and grow, but also given me an opportunity to expand my own thinking. Since so much of modern medicine is all about treating symptoms and prescribing medicine; the Holistic approach is more of a mind/body/spirit approach to maximize optimum health. Having an open mind, has helped me to expand my horizons, and not be stuck in a societal norm of only seeing black & white.

With the lessons of above, I learned more about a spiritual approach. I have never felt comfortable in a religious realm. My personal beliefs did not adhere nor jive with any religion I studied. As I have taught my own kids with an eclectic curriculum, my beliefs fell into that category too. I've had too many experiences, in my life, to believe in a strict religious code. I pray, meditate, practice yoga, practice grounding, strive to keep my chakras open, love Reiki therapy, and keep up with the moons changing phases. I love the metaphysics and quantum physics, even if I don't fully understand everything yet.

As life is totally in a tailspin lately, I have really struggled. My life has not really changed all that much. The biggest difference has been having my entire family home 24/7. There have been 3 meals a day, for 5 people, laundry is unmanageable for the most part, and the amount of dishes has increased. We do not get away from the farm much, so nothing has changed in that regard. I still get groceries as I need to, although the stupidity of finding toilet paper/paper towels/cleaning supplies is enough to send me into instant attitude. Fortunately, I learned years ago how to utilize many other products to get better results than chemical cleaners. The problem comes in, for me, when I can not get what I need because some douche bag has hoarded supplies. I have spent several years now working with people outside of my home. I miss them terribly!!!! I am looking forward to being able to see them again when some of the stupidity has eased. Even though I am concerned as to what the remainder of this year will hold.

As I write, I am hoping some of my own unease will diminish. As someone who trusts my gut instincts, I am hopeful that some of the vibes I have felt are just due to the extreme emotions going on in society. I am going to end this blog, but I am going to encourage each of that reads this to find a way to be kind. Remember that it takes all types to make this world go round. We may all have differing opinions, but it does not mean one opinion or another are 100% right. Think for yourself, do your own research, turn off the news, and remember that we are all just doing what we feel is best for ourselves and our families.

Salli

Crazy times

Now, this blog is going to rub a lot of nerves. I know this ahead of time. The thing is, I am not BIASED. I have voted every year for the person I felt was capable of doing the job...NOT BY PARTY! I believe in research, and I believe in respecting those who have differing opinions than my own. Even if I do not agree with you, I will respect your opinion. I expect the same in return. It takes all types to make the world go round! What I do have issue with, are those that are supposedly "tolerant" yet getting in your face, degrading you, and being completely disrespectful. I will not push my beliefs on anyone, and I will not tolerate that stuff being pushed on me. We can disagree without hating each other.

I may only be 45, but I can not remember ever having a time in life, as we are currently experiencing. I am very disturbed by the direction so much of 2020 has gone. I am concerned by the current virus but I am not panicked. We took measures into our own hands about two weeks before cases started showing up in our local area. When you have people in your house that have health issues, you have to take precautions...whether it's the flu or this virus. I have spent the past 11 years, dealing with being cautious over everything, so this is nothing new. The difference now, is that for the minimal amount of cases and death(please do not think I am in any way disregarding the lives lost!), the country has shut down. I truly do not understand the reason for all the panic, aside from media propaganda. I don't agree with all the shut downs, and closures. I don't agree with people being forced to stay home, or even in some states and cities, being forced to stay indoors. However, at this point, it's hard to know what to believe with all the crap floating in news and social media. The thing is, I do not understand putting millions of people out of work, the economy that had finally gotten better in my rural area is now sinking again, schools are closed, livestock and grain markets are in the tank, and for what?!?!?!? Because a virus, that has affected less than 5% of our population has killed less than 1%? Has so much of society forgotten history and forgotten how to research? This is NOT a political or religious issue, folks.

I have been on social media, although a lot less, enough to know and see it's being played in both those directions. I have seen several touting biblical passages about this being the end of times. I have seen politicians for BOTH parties playing pathetic games with not only tax payer money but more government interference in our lives. AND SO MANY ARE OK WITH THIS!!! I am not! Everything the government puts there hands on turns to shit! For just one example, research the whorehouse the government tried to take over and bankrupted it! Look at the mess the healthcare sham has costed not only tax payers but how many medical professionals left the field because the government NOT your doctor was in charge of what healthcare you or could not receive. Look at the cost of the having to purchase healthcare whether you could afford it or not, and whether or not you used it...i.e. the penalty that would appear on your taxes if you didn't have it! Yet, so many want the government involved.

We have had so many people complaining about presidents...both the current and former. Here's another thing...you better be more worried about the piece of crap folks that are spending a lifetime in the house and senate; constantly increasing their pay, making laws that apply to us but not them, and then leaving office with a LIFETIME supply of our tax money, free benefits, and then they move on to high powered jobs with the lobbyists that have bought their votes. Sure, I have my own opinions on the job being done by our current president. I believe that my opinion is more based on the ridiculous amounts of money the house of representatives have spent trying to get a duly elected official out of office. Do I like our president, not fully, but just as I did not care for the last one...I RESPECTED him. He was elected, therefore, I was raised to respect that office!


Now that that is out of the way, let me tell you about how life works on my little farm. I have two people in my house with immune difficulties. One, has an overactive immune system. The rears its head in the form of psoriasis. Through the years, this can lead to Lupus, and Fibromyalgia to name a couple. The second, about died at 4 months old from a severe allergy to the bases used for all vaccines. That means no vaccines and severe allergies - which has meant monitoring all foods, clothing, medications, and anything that may come in contact. It meant me going back to school to learn natural health, herbalism, and being hyper vigilant at all times. It has meant being the bad guy when all the junk foods, soda, and snacks would instigate an allergy attack. Having severe allergies myself, I have had to learn, many times the hard way, what I can and can't eat/be around. Everything from laundry soap, body soap, fabric softener, shampoos, dish soap, and even toothpaste!

My little family farm, is small by most standards. We have a decent home, and about 25 acres of hay/pasture. We have livestock - cows, sheep, and chickens for now; with goats and ducks being added soon. We raise a good sized garden, our own beef, our own lamb, our own chicken and eggs. So, the majority of our foods are raised or grown right here. It is very satisfying to cook an entire meal and know exactly where it came from. I do not have to worry about chemicals, food coloring, or preservatives. We have several fruit trees and vines, but because of the chemicals sprayed around us, they have not produced. So, that means having to invest in more trees/vines and plants and relocate everything we can to not lose anymore money. As we have changed over the past 10 years, we have learned a lot of hard lessons, but also experienced some of the most amazing memories.

This past August we began an adventure hosting an exchange student. I can say it has been the greatest experience! We haven't just hosted though. We gained another daughter and her family into ours. We have been so fortunate to have experienced this young lady, and to have her adapt into our family so well....it's been beyond awesome! With all this craziness going on, it has hampered our ability to get out to do several things with her that we wanted to. Now, it seems as if it is going to squash all spring plans as well. It has been an incredible 8 months!!!

Life around here gets kinda crazy. There is always work to do. This year we added sheep to our farm. This was a big undertaking with a farm fenced for cows and horses. We are still trying to get all the new fence up. Having 3 of us working full-time, trying to teach daily, keeping up with animal chores, household chores, paperwork, budgets, holidays, birthdays, and extended families...it can take on a life of its own. While this quarantine crap is not much of a change for us, aside from everyone being home full-time, it's cancelled so many plans. Since everyone is home, we have had more time to work on projects around here, more time to get on each others nerves, and a LOT more laundry and dishes for me!

It is very difficult for a lot of people to understand why we don't have to just go visit, make a trip or go on vacation. Honestly, we are all homebodies. We love our home. Aside from that, there are animal chores a minimum of twice a day(right now it's more often with calves ready to be born and still having lambs too), when everyone is working the guys are gone by 7 and not home until around 6, I am in and out of meetings and teaching daily, then there is supper prep and eating, clean up and family time. Weekends are always insane with trying to get other small projects done, or make a dent in big projects, usually catching up on paperwork, making lists of feed deliveries and veterinary care, making sure records are kept to government standards and trying to squeeze in a little time for just living. We do not have hired hands, and we do not have people that will take care of everything here for any length of time...it is too much to ask! We reserve asking for emergencies only.

For me, my days are full from 4:30 am until around 10 pm. I rarely stop, and unless I am just completely burned out, I usually survive on about 4 hours sleep and whole lot of coffee! I do not have the time, energy or patience to deal with games, ignorance or stupidity. If I feel someone is bringing too much toxicity into my life, I will put a lot of distance between them and me. Toxic is toxic, no matter. I do my best to be kind to all, but sometimes when you give an inch...a mile is taken.

I know I am very unique. I have my own beliefs, my own thoughts, some very stubborn opinions, and most of the time a lack of filter from brain to mouth. Most of the time, I am an open book. If I get questionable vibes...I will distance myself. I do not trust easy, so my inner circle is VERY small. I've seen it posted many times: different people get a different version of me. This is very true! I am always myself, but I may water down my thoughts for those I don't feel can handle me at full strength. While those in my inner circle know how I really am. I tend to watch my tongue most of the time...until I am home and am in a comfortable location. My home is my sanctuary. It is the one place I can let go...a bit wild, mouthy, sometimes I can make a sailor blush with my language, and I have a temper that can get pretty ugly. On the other side of all that, I try to always see both sides to every story. I try to be there for friends when they need me, I tend to care too much about others, to the point of exhausting myself worrying about them. I tend to research, read and study anything and everything that catches my attention. From Biology to Architecture, from gardening/landscaping to photography, from medical statistics to holistic care, from psychology to PTSD and so much more. I love to learn, and have yet to stop.

So during the crazy times we are currently living in, I have learned what I can around teaching my daughter and my host daughter while school has been out. I have researched some new gardening techniques to help make a smaller garden more productive. I have researched ways to improve landscaping without spending a lot of money. I've working with the guys outside building fence(not my smartest idea!), taking care of the animals, planning and laying out new pasture paddocks, and making a game plan to continue improving our farm even though the markets have all crashed.

I suppose on that note, I am going to end this blog. 3 weeks into this quarantine and I am ready for life to be back to normal.
Salli