Coffee chatting

I am sitting at my table looking over multiple lists and piles of paperwork. I know I have so much going on daily that most don't even know. I keep notes on everything! I hate being unprepared, unorganized, or caught off guard. This entire year has left me struggling to just keep up, let alone get on top of the chaos. Unlike a talented juggler, I have so many balls in the air, I am waiting for them to come raining down on my head! So, a brief little glimps into my days... Coffee is a must to start every day. Otherwise, I am kind of a bit Medusa and a whole lot Oscar the grouch! A few weeks ago, after researching a lot for a natural way to get the vitamin/minerals I need and a means to level off the mood swings associated with this menopausal crap, I found a daily regiment that seems to be helping with most. After my back injury this Summer, I not only lost about 16 pounds, lost a lot of muscle mass, and have struggled with my limitations. Throw in the mood swings of menopause, the inability to sleep well, and the feeling of overwhelm...and you have a recipe for chaos. While I spend a lot of time working from home, the isolation can be a struggle. While I attempt to do my work in the mornings, I see my house is messy. Then there is the constant pile of laundry, my daughters schoolwork(which is seriously a battle of wills this year), the farm paperwork, the personal paperwork, helping my son with his paperwork as he prepares for building a life, keeping up with meals, grocery shopping, keeping up with birthdays, anniversaries, friends and extended family...sometimes, this juggling act is more of a challenge! My typical mornings consist of juggling my work, work paperwork, farm and personal paperwork, and getting my daughter to do her school work next to me so I can help her when needed. As I said, I try to take notes on every single thing I do so if there is question, I have notes with days/times of conversations. I don't like to say/do things without having the information to back up what I say or do. There's enough talking heads out there already. I would rather keep an open mind, find the facts, and then make an educated decision. Then you throw in the phone calls. These are typically me calling people, attempting to get information and then NOT getting calls back, or getting a complete run-around. This irritates me. Just be honest and tell me you don't know, or you need to find someone that can help. I have no issue being a squeaky wheel but man, is that time sucking!! While I am on the phone A LOT every day, it really is not a good thing. I am much more prepared and it is easier for me, to deal with people in person. Telephone and internet is sucking the life out of so much. I need human contact. I need eye contact, facial expressions, vibes. I do not handle extended non-human contact well. By lunch time, I force myself to walk away from paperwork, fix lunch, and take some time to breathe. Too much time looking at paperwork makes me feel crazy! Then, it's on to the afternoon juggling act. Laundry, housework, more school work battles, project lists, daily outdoor chores, supper, and attempt to spend the evenings connecting with my family about what is going on in their lives. While we still have supper every night at the table, sometimes, those conversations need to continue long after the meal is over. Other times, it's just sitting in our comfortable chairs and winding down from the day. In my days, I am bouncing from work, farm, business, teacher, mom, wife, friend, family member, back to work, business, farm, and that bounce is never ending. I have been told I need to set boundaries...by several people. I have tried, and failed...MANY times! I can't seem to firmly put limits in place, and make them stay. As soon as someone has an issue, I get a call. It doesn't matter if that is during my time working, teaching, meals, or whatever...and I care too much for people, and don't want anyone to feel that they can't talk to me. So, I let a boundary slip and in no time...it's gone again. I don't have an issue going toe-to-toe with people, but I prefer not to when I can avoid it. A mule has nothing on me, when I know I am right. I will not budge or change my thoughts. I do however, tend to distance myself when something feels off. I follow my intuition and when something feels off, or upsets the little balance I have found...you can bet, I will be distant and less open. I have been very fortunate to find a job that allows me do things and help people, I value. Sometimes, that helping spirit leaves me floundering. There are so many things that can be done but when you are limited, it gets frustrating. I average a lot of hours monthly between paperwork, phone calls, talking with local leaders, talking with veterans, and trying to plan events that will truly help them. I have been lucky to have a boss who is also a friend. The struggle this year with all the virus restrictions, has dampened the fundraising ability, and there fore also limited the financial ability to be able to do all that I would like to do. I have made phone calls and left messages for several local leaders, attempting to get numbers of veterans in several communities, and to this point...still no call backs. That seems unprofessional to me. I am hoping to get some gift certificates to give out to veterans for local restaurants, for Veterans Day and get some food baskets into the hands of low-income veterans for Christmas. Nationally, the foundation is looking to give stockings with several gifts, snacks and Christmas Cards to some of the Veteran Homes, so that will be a positive event for many veterans. The farm life is always busy but has become truly enjoyable for me. I love being out with animals, and seeing the amazing job my husband has done with the fencing projects. While my son and I have helped with some of it, my husband has totally rocked the fencing! There have been countless hours, and miles of fence built or redone since April. Many of our fences were old, or meant for cattle...not sheep. So, he took the initiative to fix that. He has done an incredible job. We now have bred ewes and cows. It appears we will have lambs beginning in January and Calves in May/June. My ducks, although really dumb, are so enjoyable. I can not get these crazy animals to go into the duck house. They just keep sleeping outdoors. I am really needing to grasp this duck raising thing! The chickens and goats are fun even if not real smart either. I love being out with them. While I have missed a few days the past week because of having to do other stuff inside, I love taking the reigns of caring for them. Now, if I could just get some of the others in my family to help with the inside stuff, I might have a few minutes to unwind myself! I suppose I will end this chat for today. I suppose I just needed to vent a little this morning. Now, back to my regularly scheduled morning. Salli