Would you?

 

A while ago, I was asked one of those questions that I probably thought too much about. I tend to think a lot about life in general, but for 9 years now, I have analyzed so much of my life. What began nearly a decade ago with the loss of a friendship that wasn't what I thought it was, turned out to be a breaking point for me. Not only that, I was in a stage of life that had me evaluating every aspect of my life. I was restless, had found out that a friend was pulling shenanigans I wanted no part of, was pouring every ounce of energy I had into my family but I felt lost. I had reached a breaking point, if you will. I had completely lost sight of who I was. It's difficult to explain. I was overwhelmed by a lot, restless and needing something that would allow me to just be me not just mom/wife, watching my children need me less and less, struggling to find my own path. I broke down and contacted a friend within the counseling community. I was trying to find solid ground to built back from. 

I have always stood strong. No matter how many times I've been knocked down, I get back up stronger than ever before. So finding solid ground was imperative. I had spent so much time focused on being the best mom I could be, the best wife I could, learning to do things that were not in my wheelhouse of knowledge, feeling isolated from the world, having to face the fact that I was trying to pour from an empty cup. So, the question really made me think, again. 

"If you could go back and change your past, would you?"

 

Initially, I thought sure...there are some things I would change. You know, going back with the knowledge you had today, and doing or being a better person. Then, I broke it down. If I went back and changed even one part, it would have changed the entire direction. So, my answer was No, I would not. Everything I have done in my life, has either been done because I wanted it at the time or because I did what I had to do, to get through whatever I was dealing with, or it lead me to where I am now. 

Changing even a single second of my past, could completely alter life as I know it now. Would I have preferred less struggle, less heartbreak, less stress, less headaches, less deception, or less of any other emotion/situation...sure. But what would I have learned? I know everyone has their own paths in life to take. My path has been a bit bumpy, but it's made me who I am today...and I'm beginning to really that person. My entire life path has been about learning, growing, adapting, and ascending to where I am meant to be. I'm not there yet. I'm still learning everyday. 

Some lessons are tough, some are ruthless, and some are just a blip in the screen. However, every single day is the promise to grow and become the person you are meant to be. Without apology, we need to grow. We need to strive to be a better person every day. Not better than anyone else, but a better you than you were the day before. Each of us are here for such a short time, we need to do our best to make a positive impact while we are here. 

Loving each other for who we are, just as our creator has promised. "We are made in the image and likeness of God." No where in that statement does it say to shameful of yourself. Appreciate who you are, what you know AND what you don't know, and even appreciating the physical body you've been given. Every single one of us is different for a reason, just as every single one of us is on our own mission through life. So, be kind to everyone you meet and those that are numbskulls and don't appreciate you...let them go. Our paths cross each other for us to learn. Figure out the lesson and move on. 

So, what would your answer be? Would you go back, knowing what you know now, and change your past?

Coffee Chat and updates

 

So, my mind has been in warp speed for several months. With such extensive research, irritations, and a complete lack of tolerance for ignorance...it has been quite interesting. I've attempted to write a blog for months! Today, I'm taking a coffee break and getting some of these thoughts out of my head. 

Sometimes, lessons are learned quickly, without much fanfare. Other times, lessons take getting completely body slammed, in order to learn from. I learned a lot of years ago, to never depend on anyone. By placing any expectations on anyone aside from yourself, you are just asking for trouble. Sadly, I am continually giving others the benefit of doubt. I have this bad habit of believing there is good in everyone, if everyone would just look for it. Unfortunately, I have found some that apparently have buried good further than they were willing to look. 

I have several bad habits. Most of them, I don't think about too often. Yesterday was a day that seemed to be a day of ironing out some pressing thoughts and delving into this theory that we are shaped at a young age. Not necessarily by just our parents, but by the education system, by society, and in today's world the media(TV and Social Media). I grew up in the public education system, long before this new found education paradigm. I had some truly incredible teachers and some completely awful teachers. The good teachers were compassionate, they truly cared about their students, they did everything possible to teach all their students...not just the "good learners."Some of us were a little more hard headed and asked too many questions. Some of us, although I am admitting NOTHING, have not changed. For me, I had a few teachers that taught in a way that has stuck with me thru to today. Those were the teachers that encouraged asking questions and not just accepting the information as given. Those teachers never flinched when I'd ask a million questions, the a million more after their answers. 

After talking to my husband for a while last night, it was evident that my wide view of interests has never changed. I've always loved history, architecture, marine biology, nature, animals, dance, and most things that require an open mind. I wish I had done more before becoming afraid of so much. I love knowledge and learning, to this day. However, I the past several years, I find myself changing a lot. My interests in so many areas of life has never changed. My ability to carry on surface conversations, gossip, and closed minded rhetoric has become non tolerable. I feel so physically and mentally drained by these things. Anyway, I wondered about where many people would be if they were encouraged to truly chase their dreams instead of pushed towards the standardized directions. We have neglected to see our amazing world as an opportunity, and instead focused on what's "safe and normal." In my eyes and my theory, NORMAL is just a setting on the washing machine. To me, normal should be whatever and where ever your soul pulls you. Life should not be focused on just making money. How mundane is: waking up to an alarm clock, going to work, getting home to eat dinner, watching the noise box, and going to bed, just to start all over the next day and the next...until life has passed us by? That seems like insanity to me. That has become the way of the world. For what purpose? So we can work until 65-67 years old, pay astronomical amounts to a corrupt and fraudulent government/IRS system, only to retire on peanuts while those elite retire with millions, and be forced to live in poverty to the end of our lives on Earth?! WHY???? It's not because they are smarter. Most of those that spend decades in office are not intelligent in the sense of knowing how to live normally. They are bought and paid for by lobbyists, they allow themselves massive salaries not just during their terms in office but even after, and they have a healthcare system that none of the people actually paying for it are allowed to have. These people are crooks and criminals to the highest degree. And, WE THE PEOPLE, have become so complacent that they, not only continue to do it, but become even bolder about doing it in the spotlight. I'm talking about BOTH political parties, major corporations, big pharma, Hollywood, and ALL those that seem to profit from their own entitled personalities. These people are sick, demented and evil. 

I know, I know. That all sounds like "conspiracy theory." To many uneducated, it will. I was content, for many years, to just get by. To accept that either I wasn't smart enough or something, to be able to actually succeed. That being able to just get through a month with bills paid, food on the table, and a roof over our head was good enough. I no longer believe that. With a minuscule amount of research(in the beginning), proved to me that my gut instinct that we could all be so much more, was RIGHT! I learned over the last few years that all these "conspiracy theories" were actually FACTS. I have done so much research, I don't want to be ignorant nor do I want to just "get by." After learning how and why the term, "conspiracy theory" was created...I knew, I would forever be questioning EVERYTHING!! When is the last time you read the original Constitution for America? I'm talking about the one from 1776. NOT the 2nd version illegally shoved down our throats since 1871. Did you know the United States became a corporation in 1871? Or that it filed bankruptcy again in 2018, and was finalized and dissolved in January 2021? How about the fact that the Title 4 flag was captured in 1999, and the United States is actually owned by the individual that was able to save America in 1999, from being taken over by England and the Vatican? How many know anything about the monetary system that was supposed to be implemented in 1999, again in 2001 and is currently being transitioned to now? Do you know what happened in 1999 and in 2001, to prevent this monetary system implementation?What do you know about the 13 bloodline families, Bohemian Grove, maritime/admiralty law, or even our birth certificates? 

Come to think of it, how do you all feel about being lied to, YOUR ENTIRE LIVES? Everything we have been taught and told, since 1871 has been a lie!! Once I started digging and researching, I got more pissed with every "theory." There are so many involved in dumbing down society, it's sickening! Sadly, too many have cognitive dissonance when it comes to anything that goes against their own thinking. I experienced it and have heard it millions of times..."there's no way all this is right," "we are not stupid, how did we not see this," "I don't believe you, this is just conspiracy theory." I am personally to a point that I just have to say: "Don't believe me! Look it up for yourself. I have no desire to change your mind, but do not degrade me for being informed." I'm all for "you do you," but I don't want to be around those that choose to be ignorant of facts. Everyone has opinions, but opinions are not facts. Do your research. Don't expect others to respect your opinions when you have not educated yourself beyond the news, social media and peers. Expand your horizon and view. Expand your knowledge. More research options: Operation Mockingbird, Operation Paperclip, Bilderburg Group, Skull & Bones, Operation Fish Bowl, Operation Not Forgotten, Russell J. Gould, Color Revolutions and the countries that have experienced them, Silk Road, Balfour Declaration, Jekyll Island, Gulen Terrorist Network, Nikola Tesla inventions, Howard Hughes, Jesuits, Red Shoe club, black eye club, Agenda 21, Agenda 2030, Hunting parties, Terramar Project, and island ownership around Epstein island. 

It's truly sad that people around the world have been lead to believe that war and division is normal. It's NOT! It's done by design and for profit. Every single war has been funded, on both sides, by the elite. They don't care about our lives or the lives of those battling. They care about power, greed and control. Think about the Gates Foundation, and NATO all pushing for depopulation. Yet, everyone rushed out to get a vaccine funded by Gates. Look at the guide stones in Georgia. I don't believe in coincidences. At this point in my ascension, coincidence the massive number of "coincidences" are mathematically impossible. When you have a foundation that has its tentacles in everything from genetics, to vaccines, to chemicals, to food supplies, to education....you have to logically question, by their own admission, eugenics and population control. IF you don't question it, you are being lead straight to a slaughter house. Did you know a large portion of the Bible, the teachings of Jesus, has been removed? The Bible has been changed from beginning to end. 

I'm going to finish up with my own thoughts. I have done the research above and a LOT more. I have managed to get through my own cognitive dissonance. I have accepted that I didn't know what I thought I knew. Now, the desire to continue learning more is stronger than ever. It has also brought about a change within me. Having shallow conversations has become nearly impossible. I have distanced myself from many that choose ignorance over education. I have had to learn to set boundaries for everything and everyone in my life. 

I have accepted being used and taken for granted, for far too long. I let my heart lead me, and most times, that causes me a lot of heartbreak...because most people do not have true compassion anymore. Most use a false compassion to get what they want/need, and then throw others aside when they are no longer wanted/needed, like a piece of trash. I refuse to bend to norms. I prefer to stay faithful to myself, my beliefs and my values. I have always tried to be a good person, to accept people as they are, to be honest, compassionate, and real. I do not do good with putting on a show. I will argue my point, when I believe I am right, until the end. I will only take so much before I am DONE! Once I'm done, that's all folks. I will not look back. So, be careful how far away you push me. My family has always been and will always be, my Number 1 priority. Everything else will cease to exist when it comes to taking care of them. I've spent years learning that a job will replace you at the drop of a hat, but family can not be replaced. I listen to my gut instincts, and follow my heart. Sometimes, following my heart leads me to trouble, but I wouldn't be true to myself if I didn't. 

I have rambled for long enough. I hope you all will do some research and expand your thinking. It has done a world of good for me. 

Wishing you all a blessed week.

Salli