Why is truth so threatening?

 

 

 

Do you remember playing truth or dare as a kid? I rarely ever chose dare...truth was easier...usually. The truth today seems to be so shrouded, that when you attempt to be truthful, you are ostracized and demeaned.  So, this has me asking:  "are others too oblivious to see it, too brainwashed or just uneducated." 

Truth is not something you have just an opinion on. Truth is truth even if no one agrees with it. There isn't a my truth, your truth, etc. Truth has facts to back it up, YOU just have to be intelligent enough to seek whether something is true or made up. Sadly, I watched a news channel over the weekend, spewing information that literally took me less than 10 minutes to prove wrong. But, because it was on the news...it must be true. I hear this a lot! Well, what you are saying isn't on the news, so it must not be true/you are just a conspiracy theorists, or any number of other derogatory blanket statements. Typically, when those statements are made, I just shake my head and realize I am in the wrong crowd of people. I don't need people to agree with everything I say. I want people around me that bring their own RESEARCH, NOT OPINION!! I do my best to not speak on subjects that I have little knowledge about. I research because I choose to be educated. Yes, it takes a LOT of time to research all that I have. In my eyes, that is my job as an American citizen to KNOW what B.S. our government, our media and the world are feeding us. I will not be a sheep lead to slaughter because I chose to ignore, down play or just follow a crowd. I question and research everything!I don't care if you are watching Fox, ABC, MSN, or whatever main stream media there is...you are not being told the truth. Turn them off!

When the numbers were released yesterday about the Black Friday thru cyber Monday shopping, I was floored! A large majority of citizens are struggling to pay their bills, buy food and pay for medications; yet nearly $7 trillion was spent over 5 days?! I personally didn't see a single ad that was "jump off the page" good. Just 6 weeks ago, the TV's were cheaper than Black Friday! How many TV's do people need?! Thanksgiving alone - this year was nearly $30 higher than last year, and nearly $60 higher than 2019. So, when nearly 75% of this country live paycheck to paycheck...WHY was the spending so high? I get buying gifts, but really....if you can't cover a $400 emergency with your savings...you should probably not be maxing out credit cards to buy a bunch of unnecessary stuff. Our economy continues to get worse, yet so many refuse to quit their addiction to spending frivolously. In multiple financial classes I have taken, it states that you should be able to allocate no less than 20% of your income to savings. While I personally can not do this now, I can't help but wonder if anyone could. That would mean living on only 80% of your income. When the governmental numbers claim that 65% of American's have $400 or less in actual savings....either there is a whole lotta people living below the poverty line, or a whole lot living outside their means! Either way is sad!

Christmas time is something I have always valued as a time to gather with loved ones. There is quite a mixed bag of thoughts when it comes right down to it. I love our gatherings with family and friends. I love to give but refuse to break our budget to do so. I also do not do well at accepting gifts. I appreciate them, but would rather see others do something to improve their own lives...that is the best gift for me! I don't need more stuff. My biggest and best gift is always my family. On the other hand, there are people that have to be excessive. They want the attention of giving the biggest, most expensive or most sought after gifts. They find it necessary to draw attention to themselves, make themselves look important or just be the center of attention. I have no use for that. Years like this one, the only gifts I focus on are the ones for my kids. Each year, our family hosts a Christmas Open House. This means I spend a week baking and making all kinds of goodies, and that one day...we open our home to friends, family and neighbors to enjoy. It's time for everyone to remember the important part of life - fellowship and kinship. That is our gift to others. I am happy to stand back and let everyone interact how they will, but it's not about me or my family being in a spotlight. We are just the vehicle in which we all can get back to the root of the holidays. 

I know there are many that like to argue whenever I share much. Although I realize quickly that most just have to argue, to do so. There are some that are now sending me information that I researched a while ago, as they are just seeing through the veil. I am truly happy that more are becoming aware. The hard part for me is where I am in my own research. Interestingly enough, and maybe this is the cusp of the problem, research is just like pulling on a thread on a sweater. The more you pull, the more it unravels. Digging into what has been happening in our world is a shock. A conversation, just yesterday, was interesting. Someone had seen how the media has been not so truthful, and they couldn't grasp how so many in the media could be bought and paid for. When I commented that all these media outlets were owned by 6 corporations, it made more sense. You wouldn't know that without diving in. It will push you into a state of cognitive dissonance state. It's difficult for people to grasp how much they have been and ARE being lied to. 

I think I will finish out today with this:  I remember my children having a book when they were younger, that was teaching about details. You know the ones, what is different from picture to picture or finding items in a picture that don't belong. American's, at this point, should be doing a "where's Waldo" search.What is wrong with the current picture of the United States? Even the most unaware can see that things are not right, even if they don't want to admit it. When you start looking into laws, executive orders, and continuity of government....it all makes more sense.

Coffee Break

 

 

 

 

Holy crap!!! I was just making out my weekly calendar and realized FRIDAY is the 1st of December!! I am seriously NOT ready!! I have spent this entire year living from moment to moment, and drama to drama. I am over this year entirely...but I refuse to make Christmas anything but magical for my 14 year old child. While my child is pretty typical of most that age...questioning everything Christmas, not really acting over excited...yet, my child still asked about writing a letter to Santa and if we'd have our annual Christmas Eve gifts. So, my moody teen, is still somewhat interested in Christmas. 

 

As someone who has always loved Christmas, just 2 weeks ago...I was ready to put everything back in the attic and cancel Christmas in my home. I have had it with ugly attitudes, disrespect, liars and self-created dramas. You see, I don't have the time or energy to deal with crap. I am already managing a household with adult children, a teenager, a husband and juggling the worst economic times since 2008. I am doing my damnedest to keep my own mood/attitude above the water line. Trying to paste a smile on my face, put distance between those that are toxic to me, keep up with some that time has gotten away from us, keep a house in order by myself, make sure bills are paid in a reasonable fashion, make sure there are meals prepared, food to work with, juggle the end of the year records for personal/farm/veteran event, make sure the traditional gatherings we have are planned/executed/enjoyed, and I am still canning coming into December. So, when a drama presents itself - my initial reaction is going to be very negative. Whomever/whatever creates the drama can deal with it on their own. 

 

I learned a long time ago, an apology without changed behavior is nothing more than manipulation. Sometimes that is hard to grasp. I have always attempted to see the good in people. It's not a bad quality, but sometimes it is one that ends up hurting you a lot. I've had to accept that there are people that thrive on drama and self-inflicted turmoil. You can only confront that so often, until those repeat patterns wear thin and the desire to "fix" is gone.

 

As I said, I am still canning, and December begins in 3 days. Who would have thought after the serious drought this year, I would have had such an abundance of produce. I am not complaining! Although, I am about to the end of my ability to work up anymore, because I am already out of space to store them but also almost out of jars. I have already had to buy several cases of pint jars this year, and they are now all officially used. I am just about to the end of my quart jars too. It's a good problem to have. I have shared our bounty as I could. I would rather give the stuff to someone that could use it than let it go to waste. For the most part nothing has been wasted this year. I still have tomatoes in my freezer. I even ventured into making my own homemade tomato soup this year. This week, however, will be the end of my canning. After the 1st of the month, it's time to kick into baking and the count down to Christmas.

This year, I decided to add some fun things into our mix. I have put together a 25 days until Christmas countdown activity, one for each day. I got the kids each an advent calendar. I am also adding the advent candle wreath to honor my German roots, and our "Feast of the 7 fishes," Christmas eve meal to honor our Daughter-In-Law's Italian roots. We will have our annual open house again, although it will be a little different this year. We aren't making big plans for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, just because that is time for individual families to be together. We may have a few in and out, it is not organized. Some time in the next 27 days, I still have to start AND finish my Christmas shopping. I hate waiting until now to do this, usually, I am finished before Halloween!!! 

I am just not feeling like myself this year, and it's showing. As a trusted friend pointed out this morning, my cup is running on empty. I'm thinking it's more like bone dry! As usual, I will paste a smile, and get through any adversity. Each day, I work hard to start fresh with the best possible attitude. Each time I see a little light, something else tries to darken it. I will prevail. I may be a lot of things, but Hard Headed is definitely at the top of that list!!!

Thanksgiving Coffee Chat

 

 Good morning! I am so ridiculously excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow! I have no idea where this excitement came from...but I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. It's pretty fun anyway. 

So, before I begin my day of preparation for Thanksgiving, I want to have some serious conversation for a few minutes. Tomorrow is a day to be thankful for all the abundance we have. We may not always have all we'd like to have, but for many of us, we have what we actually need. We have been pretty spoiled with abundance, addicted to buying things we really don't need, and living outside our means due to being able to having access to "cheap" debt. Being realistic, it was easier to spend 3-5% on a mortgage than the 8+% now. Credit card and personal loans at 5-6% that are now upwards of 10%, some as extreme as 30%. Think about 5 years ago, how many people bought all their Christmas gifts on credit? I personally remember going to stores that were offering a discount rate on your order if you signed up for their store credit card. Now, that $500 expense on that credit card is inflated with nearly 30% interest if not paid in full in a month. Is that purchase now worth the extra expense? It was easier to over spend on gifts when interest rates weren't sky rocketing, and many children got a lot of gifts that they may have played with for a month and it ended up collecting dust, getting thrown away or given to a second hand store. I believe we need to change this!

What do I mean? I mean, you need to set a realistic budget for Christmas, NOW! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving after all, and many people will be out Black Friday shopping in just a couple of days. Does your child really need a new game system, or do they need food, utilities or having you not working 3 jobs just to provide something non-essential? We need to be real with our children now more than ever! We need to explain to our children, in age appropriate terms, what is happening in the economy, how money/credit works, the differences between needs and wants, and more importantly...how many hours you have to work to pay for everything, and how many hours you will not be home with your family to afford it all. For example, if you make $20 per hour, that $500 wish list item, is going to cost you 25 hours of work - that means an extra 25 hours away from home, and that does not include the actual cost of needs like food, water, electric, fuel. If your budget is $4000 per month for just the essentials, you add in a single $500 gift - that is now requiring 225 hours of work per month. That is 225 hours per month that you don't get with your family. Is that $500 gift really worth it? I know everything has gotten stupid high, and $500 does not go far, but I have seen kids asking for a new gaming system or some other high dollar gift...in addition to lots of other gifts, and I have seen parents putting themselves into financial hardships to buy these ridiculously high priced gifts. I think too many have forgotten and in turn, not taught their children, the true value of money and what the entire holiday season should be about. 

I don't know if I will head out shopping Friday or not, I haven't for years. If I do, it will be fairly local. I don't spend massive amounts for Christmas. We do focus more on needs, than excessive gifts that end up collecting dust in less than month. I have a basic budget in place, obviously this year is much tighter because the cost of everything has increased so dramatically. This is a time, I am grateful that my husband and I learned early not to over spend on Christmas. We have basically lived on a single income for nearly 24 years, so we know how to manage when income is stretched paper thin. 

I will encourage all of you to enjoy your Thanksgiving, and the time spent with loved ones. Don't put yourself in extreme debt to over indulge your children, and help them to learn value of your time and money. I pray that everyone scales back drastically this year. We need to come back to balance and the most important gifts - our families. 

From my family to each of you,

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Chat - Patterns, accountability, leadership and excuses

 

I had planned a video today to go through news and information. However, these areas have been weighing pretty heavy on my mind. Let's talk about these and maybe I'll get to a video later. 

Ok, so patterns... Myself, I think of the patterns I have seen in my own life. From teaching my kids, to behaviors, to personalities. Many times, you can pin point behaviors rather quickly, if you pay attention. Certain personalities are the same way. You know people that get or end up overwhelmed when they are faced with changes or challenges, news they don't want to hear, and even simple disagreements that tend to be on repeat after so much time. In my eyes, these behaviors and patterns are proof positive of a refusal to grow, learn and expand knowledge. Instead of facing a challenging issue, they tend to bury their heads rather than face it head-on. I honestly see this a lot in today's world. When information is truly at our fingertips 24/7, it's difficult to remain blissfully unaware...unless it is out of choice. In which, I see this as living in fear. There are plenty of areas I have researched that have left me very fearful, but I had to face it in order to not allow it to continue. What I mean is this: my research and diving deep into what is going on in our world today, began over an article I read talking about child trafficking. This to me is terrifying. The deep I dove into this subject, then more sadistic it became, and the more notable the players involved became. This was a difficult pill to swallow. In my eyes, children are off limits, PERIOD! When adults who should know better, begin behaving in the manners I have researched, they do not deserve to be breathing let alone running anything from corporations to governments. The deeper I went into that rabbit hole, the more it spider webbed out, and the more information I found to support all of it. However, as I began to try to share the information and help others become more informed, the more push back I got. The more I heard phrases like, "projecting fear, there's no way that's possible, you're just a conspiracy theorists, and I don't want to hear this - it's just too scary." You think you're scared? How do you think the millions of children that are swiped from their parents feel?! 

I personally, need to combat fear with knowledge. It honestly doesn't matter what subject matter I am speaking of in the moment. If something scares me, I need to dig into research and knowledge to understand it, and that is my accountability. I hold myself to extremely high standards. I typically will not speak much of things I don't know much about. Holding ourselves to high standards and holding ourselves accountable for our behaviors is the very basis of the way our Constitution was written. Self governing, self responsibility; is the way most of our ancestors lived their lives. They didn't live off the government, they didn't depend on anyone else to support them, and they worked hard to make the best of what they had. Similar to our current "throw away" models of life, that would not have worked 50 years ago. Do you remember hearing, "waste not, want not?" Five plus decades ago, people took care of the things that took care of them. Everything from relationships, to vehicles, to equipment and even jobs were tended to; to preserve them or fix them, instead of throwing them away. You didn't just run out to get a new car because the old one had high miles, you fixed what needed fixing and drove it until it completely gave out. Equipment - whether farm, yard or tools - was no different. You fixed them until they could no longer be fixed, you knew or learned how to work on them to keep them operating. The same went for jobs. Just think about it, how many people went into jobs right out of school, and stayed there until they could retire?! The employee was loyal to the company, just as the company was loyal to its employees. Typically, when a "good job" opened up, it was because someone retired or passed away. Some industries, there were generations of family members that worked there. Now, we have little to no skilled labor, most job availability is in the service industry - flipping burgers or making coffee, and those "good jobs" have been sent out of the country. Accountability has been starved at every level of society. It's no wonder there are so many dependents on the government. 

Leadership is another area that has lost a lot of traction. Good leaders don't need recognition. They push those that work with them to do their best and rise. They don't take credit for what they have done, instead they give credit to others. Good leaders stand up for those they lead. They go to bat for those working with them. Good leaders are not "yes men." A good leader is especially difficult to find today. Too many, in a leadership role, are focused on their own image and "pats on the back." When this becomes the focus, the leadership role is diminished. They look out for number 1, are happy to credit or place blame on anyone but themselves, and refuse to hear anything that goes against them. Being a good leader is a difficult position. The thing is, most times, it take many to complete a task. Claiming that it is a single person that has, or berating a team below you to make you look better, is not leading. The way I see it, being a leader, is just like a relationship. You may think your partner is a complete fool, but in public...you are a united front. You may get home and tell them in no uncertain terms how much of an idiot they are...but in public you are a team. A good leader will also inspire their charges to want to do and be better. Being a leader, is not an easy job. It's multifaceted, requires constant effort, and at times, requires finding others that have what it takes to do the best job possible. Again, this is not much different than a relationship. Not everyone is capable of being part of a team. 

Over the last several decades, society has taken a very peculiar turn. We have evolved from a society of self-sufficiency, reliability; into one of excuses. It's really quite a freak show anymore. When men are told they are toxic, they end up running around in their sisters jeans with a bun on their head. Men no longer are capable of defending their partners or family. Women went from fighting for equal rights, to now believing they can be men, allowing men to physically beat women in women's sports. Children no longer have any respect for anyone or anything. They believe they can mouth off to whomever they wish and not have any repercussions. People walking into the capital building is an insurrection, yet people burning down cities/businesses/federal buildings and defacing federal and personal property is considered acceptable...it's a messed up world! It's become acceptable to use every excuse, not to mention every label possible, on everything! Allowing excuses instead of thriving for excellence has become normal. It's completely upside down! When you have people choosing to sit at home on computers/videos games all day, refusing to get a job or two, pissing and moaning about anything; they become null and void. They are not productive members of society. Stop all the excuses. You have a health issue, do something about it! Stop using it as an excuse. You don't know how to do something, LEARN!!! The internet is full of how to videos, there are tons of skills you can learn through apprenticeships too! I scroll through social media and just shake my head. I just do not get how so many seem to be content to just exist. There is so much possible, even today, if you are willing to put in the effort. There are people, older than me, still putting in 12+ hours a day, before getting home to work around their houses. Yet there are twenty somethings that struggle to get through an 8 hour day. There are people that have just begun to take their own health issues into their own hands today...eating healthy, exercising, even if it means starting out with a 5 minute low impact exercise. There are people that refuse to give up on their dreams, even if it means finding multiple ways it won't work...before finding one the does. 

Sadly, I have seen so many fall into each of these areas. While there are plenty of others that refuse to understand or acknowledge the need for changes. Overall, it's become easier for people to live disposable lives. Rather than working on something, "waste not want not," they get rid of it and get something new. People have chosen to use excuses to not accomplish great things, instead they focus on something or someone that dropped the ball in their life. Use those set backs, instead of as an excuse to not succeed...use it as a catalyst to achieve everything you want and more! We all have 2 choices in life - success or failure...AND NEITHER ARE PERMANENT!!! Anything worth having or doing, requires constant effort. You may find a million ways something doesn't work, before finding a single way that it does. The only one responsible is YOU!!! You have to decide where you want to go, who you want to be and if you want to succeed. Just you! It's no one else's responsibility but your own. 

So, here's another opinion to upset some....my opinions usually do. I don't voice an opinion without enough knowledge to know what I'm talking about. So, I hope this inspires some to do and be better...even starting with small steps today. Knowing you are responsible for your own life should be empowering. It should be a constant work in progress. No one knows it all, about it all...although many like to believe otherwise. My own experience, the more I learn...the more I realize how much I didn't know!

Cultivating Growth In Life

 

                                                    Cultivating Growth In Life

This blog is entirely my generalized opinion, from lessons I have learned and continue to learn daily. We each go through different phases at different ages, and from different experiences or current life path. The great thing for each of us, is that we have choices that can change the direction, if we are willing to make the efforts to do so.

I personally find it funny that I am considered at mid-life age. I remember thinking mid-life was old...and I do not feel old, mostly. I still remember the feelings/thoughts from my 20's & 30's, the ups and downs that went with life. I still remember the long sleepless nights of newborns, the constant care of toddlers, the teething, watching all their firsts, and even into the preteen years. I remember the jobs I held, the struggles and the joys. I don't feel all that different at nearly 50, than I did 20 or 30 years ago...aside from a few more aches, and a lot more knowledge. 

My kids, at least my 2 oldest, are now at the age I begin to remember very well. The 21-24 year old range was the time I "sowed my wild oats." I explored, I tried new things, new job directions, different people, worked hard, partied when I could, finished my "formal education," and found out who I was separate from my extended family. I made more than my share of mistakes and bad choices. I also made some amazing choices that continue to shape who I am today. It was during that time, I had to learn to pay attention to details, after some dumb mistakes. Even though I have continued to make some mistakes, I work hard to learn my lessons from them. I am not perfect in any shape of the word. Using the lessons I learned, I was able to work towards raising my children to break the generational molds. 

My generation of kids was pretty much raised fending for ourselves. By today's standards, we had detached parents. We didn't have parents up our rears every second of the day, we weren't over-stimulated with activities because they didn't have time to cart our butts everywhere, and we were forced to be outside playing. We sat on the hot tar roads, popping the tar bubbles until someone yelled "car," girls and boys alike were playing in the dirt and grass with Hot Wheels and Tonka's. We rode bicycles everywhere. We had our groups of friends, and our groups of bullies. We mostly looked out for each other, as did other parents that were around. We weren't a bunch of germaphobes, worried about washing our hands every 20 seconds, and none of were sick everyday either. If you fell down, you rubbed some dirt on it, got up and tried again and again. If you were involved in an activity, you busted your butt to do your best, but you were only rewarded if you were the best. Otherwise, you worked harder to prepare for the next time. Nothing was handed to you. You worked for it...mowing the yard, babysitting, after school jobs, but you did chores and you weren't getting a dime for that. If you got in trouble in school, it was going to be ten times worse at home! You did NOT disrespect or talk back to your parents...you might have ended up with missing teeth, a shoe up your butt or a time frame you don't remember. Even an eye roll or too deep of a breath would be considered "talking back." 

Kids today have gone soft. I don't know a single "kid" under 30 that could have survived the 80's & 90's. My own included! Most parents today work. There isn't a parent full-time home anymore, it's just not possible for most. However, kids are in all sorts of extra curricular activities, daycares, after school programs, etc. and that has the younger generations over stimulated, and they don't know how to handle boredom or even a challenge in real life. The younger generation has been brought up with everyone getting a ribbon to avoid exclusion, so they don't understand the stamina it takes to excel. They enter the world thinking if their feelings get hurt, everyone else is in the wrong. Real life is hard and we have created such a mental softening that it is making it even harder for them. Everyone wants to talk about mental illness, but I see it more as a mental softening. As I said, I am guilty too. We always want to do better for our kids, but we(myself included) have made it worse. We have taken to hover parenting. Everything from too much screen time, to too many activities, being too over zealous in illnesses, to not allowing our kids to experience failure and growth. Young people today do not understand that failure isn't permanent, that we should learn from what doesn't work. When they experience a set a back, they think it's the end of the world and become "depressed." Rather than teaching our young people to build from guaranteed failures, we teach them that failing isn't an option. How wrong is that?! I know, from experience, I have failed a LOT! I used those lessons to grow, become better and do better next time! I have made plenty of mistakes. I fix what I can, but learn from all of them! 

So many times, we unintentionally project our own issues onto the kids. Again, I am guilty of this too. We give advice from our experiences, but we also give it from the point that we are at currently. While that can be beneficial, it can also cause a world of other issues. Giving advice, as most of us do, is our opinion only. Many times we do not know the entire story, unless you see what goes on behind closed doors...sadly, we never get the full story. My Dad always told me there were 3 sides to a story - his side, her side and somewhere in the middle was "the rest of the story." Again, from my own experiences...the way I perceive issues/problems, is usually completely different than my husband sees them. Our responses to those issues/problems are usually, also at different ends of the spectrum. Even though we still have kids at home, even they don't know the entire rest of the story. My husband and I can sit down, have a conversation or yelling match...but usually it's the conversations when we lay in bed talking at night, when we find a common ground. Sometimes, we have to just agree to disagree. This tends to be an issue for younger people though. They hit some hard spells, and rather than try to find that middle road, they give up. 

It all reminds me of a young lady that I spoke with a couple of months ago. She was mid-20's, and had quite a plan for life. She had a reference guide for her dates! She was part of the online dating stuff. She chose her dates based off this guide. Now, I get the dating world is COMPLETELY different than it was 30 years ago, but holy cow!! They had to look a certain way, had to have a certain income, had to have a "life plan" (what the hell is that?), they had to be in one of four industries, and way down the list of about 50 items...they had to like to travel, like animals but not eat any, the guys parents couldn't be divorced, etc. Damn! No wonder she was having troubles with dating. First of all, how are you going to find a partner for your life if you are not physically interacting with people? Second, talk about limiting yourself or having a simple marriage of convenience. I tried to understand the thoughts that went into this...but honestly, it left me with my jaw hanging open. I have heard plenty of stories of the dating world today, and I don't think I could do it if I had to. It just breaks my heart that young people have become so superficial. 

For me, it comes back to the how we were raised though. Even in my generation, we were raised with checking off boxes, as a means of how successful we were. Finishing high school, finishing college, getting married, buying a house, having a kid, yada yada. I won't lie...I bought into that for awhile. I thought that laundry list of accomplishments would mean I had been successful. I have since found out that it's a big ole crock! None of that made me successful, so to speak. I have done the married thing, I finished high school and college, I have amazing kids, I have a house...and you know the biggest success I have, is having a family that is my entire world...no matter how frustrated they make me at times. My success is not based on material stuff...it's based on the people I have in my life. It's not money, possessions, or any of that nonsense. Sadly, you can share this knowledge with others, but too often it's not going to be recognized. The world today has destroyed the family unit...with divorces, dysfunction, over extended schedules, outrageous debt and a lack of stamina to hold hard to core values.

It's sad to me. Growing up in a divorced family, it super tough. Especially when the adults can't co-parent, use/manipulate not only the kids but the other parent as well, or they simply use the kids as a pawn. I swore when I had kids, I would do everything in my power to never put them in any of those situations. I nearly broke that pact many years ago. I will not take all the blame, but I know it's take 2 to make or break any relationship. Fortunately, we have avoided it. However, we part of a rare bunch. It's not easy. We are two very independent, and different people...even now. We hit heads, we argue, we fuss, we mutter under our breath; but at the end of the day...we keep going. We keep trying. It's a daily challenge to avoid miscommunication, differences of opinions, and still the differences in our upbringings. Sometimes, though, it's the late night break through or compromises that make the biggest impacts. Learning to be a united front in public, even if having the "you're an idiot" conversation in private, keeping your life private in a world of over shared everything, and learning that having to label everything is nonsense. 

 

It's ok to not have a concrete plan, sometimes having a laundry list of backup plans is necessary. You may even get to plan z before you find the right decision. Learning that a failed attempt, is not the end...but it means you found a way that didn't work. Go on to the next plan and the next until you find one that does work. Don't over schedule your life. I know everyone needs to work, but you must make time for things other than work...and running kids to everything under the sun. Plan a day of no screen time hiking, board games, actually being present in the lives of your loved ones, without the distractions of technology. I know this is difficult, but the most rewarding parts of life come from some of the most difficult parts. Get to truly know your kids, and let them know you...without the stress of technology or scheduled activities. They will truly hate the no screen time for awhile, guaranteed! They will thank you for it later! Actually listen when they talk to you, ask questions to clarify if needed. If you have little kids...getting down on their level to talk/play can make a world of difference! 

I am still learning and growing every day. I'm nearly 50 and I don't care what anyone says...you can teach an old dog new tricks, if you have the stamina, determination, patience and desire to do so. One of the best of life, aside from my family, has been learning and growing every day. None of us know everything about everything. Honestly, many of us don't even realize what we don't know. We have been taught that learning ends when you are out of school, and you should just "know," once you reach a certain age. That could not be further from the truth.

Coffee Chat

 

November 3, 2023

It's difficult to know where to start this chat. I would love to ramble on about the upcoming holidays, and I will eventually. Yesterday, was another eye opener for me, another one, and I need to work through it. My day started with another great group of veterans at a local Veterans Coffee. I look forward to those monthly meetings. That group has welcomed my daughter and I into their mix, and it helps my heart. Each month, the group gives donations to the local food pantry to help restock paper and nonfood products. After the meeting, I had a laundry list of errands to run. I tend to let errands pile up until there is a real need to actually get things done. A part for the truck, sheep feed, goat feed, chicken, and then a trip to the grocery store. The grocery store left me shaking my head. I'll get into that in a minute. I was exhausted after the errands and meeting, from all the energies. That part is harder to explain. Then, this morning, catching up on news stories from a few days...had me asking more questions. Learning to function without a cell phone has been a challenge. You do not realize how much those damned devices have become required to do even the simplest of tasks....until you don't have one. This doesn't even touch on the fact that making or receiving calls becomes very complicated, and zero access to texting - which seems to be most peoples preferred form of communication now. It's nuts! Ok, so let's dive into all of this.

I want to start with the grocery store. We all know food prices are out-of-control. So many people I have heard talking are scaling back on everything, especially food. I saw this happening each time I have gone to the store over the past year. Yesterday, I was floored by the shopping carts, food prices and check out totals. I was only in the store to get a few things, mainly the sale items I had seen on their ad. I did end up with a few other things that I knew we were running low on. Anyway, I visited with an older man, probably in his 80's, that was talking about some of precooked foods that were available - soups that were frozen, taco meat frozen, and some beef fully cooked beef roast. He said it was easier for him to have these items as he only cooked for himself, he could take these items home, thaw them out, and separate them into portions for himself and it was cheaper for his budget. He explained to me that a woman who lived just down the street from him, another older person, was struggling until her new Medicare program kicked in because the cost has wiped out her savings because of all the hype on tv about the plans. Anyway, his plan was to divide out the items he was buying and share them with her. We talked for only a few a minutes, but we agreed that these types of items would be great to have set aside for helping someone in need get through a tough time. Mind you, the frozen soups are less than $4 for about a gallon of soup. The taco meat was $6 for 5 lbs of premade/precooked meat. Now, I am not a fan of precooked meats, but I did buy some of each yesterday. Whether we eat them for a quick meal, or I just keep them in the event someone is in need of food...that gentleman touched my heart with his story. I wish everyone shared in those same principals. Anyway, I decided to start getting a price list for the upcoming holiday meals. Wow, was that unbelievable. I honestly was shocked by some of the prices, and surprised by others. A couple weeks ago, I had gone into the store and they had 3 turkeys. Those turkeys were priced at $1.79 lbs. Yesterday, there was not a single turkey. Fortunately, my son found turkeys when he was out for 98 cents a lbs, and bought 2. Pricing the items I needed for the upcoming meals added up quickly, and there were several items that store didn't have. I'm going to be putting together a price list, for our traditional meal, at this year's prices and compare notes to last year's cost. I'm sure that will shocker. Simple things, in the sale ads I have seen just this week, like soda...OMG! I'm sure glad I don't drink that stuff!!! $7 for a 12 pack of Pepsi products...good grief!! I remember complaining 3 years ago when they were $3.95 a 12 pack. The cost of pasta has gotten outrageous too! I know a few things have come down in price...but not many. As I was standing in line to check out, there were several at the registers that had 2-3 shopping carts full! I have shopped that way, but that is typically 2-3 months of food for my household. As each of the shoppers were visiting with the cashiers, all but one was shopping for THIS MONTH alone. There were 2 that I could personally hear and see. The first was a woman with 2 heaping carts, and the undercarriage full too. That was her groceries for TWO WEEKS. OMG! Her total was well over $800. While I have my own opinion on these 2 women, I know my jaw hit the floor. The second one, had a baby, but also had a cart full and the undercarriage full, and her total was just over $600. I will be the first to admit that I am pretty judgmental. I rarely buy name brand anything, and will cut every corner possible. When the last one was emptying her cart with all name brands, the large chunks of uncut steaks, snack foods galore, soda, the highest priced coffee in the store; I knew exactly who was paying for those groceries...and I was right. 

For a week now, I have been kinda flying blind, without a cell phone. Let me tell you, you do not realize how much you depend on one until you no longer have one! So much of our lives now revolve around them. They are not only phones, but used for text messaging, cameras, calendars, notes, paying bills, and GPS. Just to name a few. I don't live on my phone, as much as most, so I didn't believe that it would be a big deal to be without for a few weeks. Of course, mine would quit when one of my friends had a bad accident and I had no way to check in. At the end of month, when I had started putting everything into my calendar with reminders so maybe I'd quit forgetting so much. When I need to finalize the financials and year end paperwork for our veteran hunt and have a conversation with our partners and committee. And it naturally died, before I could remove or write down pictures, documents or even contacts. So, now I am going to have to figure out how to get all of that. The stupid phone will turn on, but the touch screen doesn't work at all. So frustrating! I refuse to spend a ton of money on these stupid phones that are outdated in a week. Not to mention, our area has limited service and paying a pricey phone plan will also not happen. So, needless to say, I have some pretty hard and fast guidelines to work with. We did manage to find some phones and a plan that were acceptable, it's just a matter of getting them and trying to recover our numbers to a new phone and plan. Such a pain!!

I have talked before about the pricing of animal feed. Living on a farm is a serious gamble from year to year. Sure, it has a ton of benefits, but there are also a ton of expenses. The past 3 years, the expense have increased at record rates and even though some prices have begun to decrease...it's at very slow rates. As a small farm, our farm depends on the livestock production, the hay production and the feed cost ends up decreasing the profits substantially. My feed run yesterday showed our sheep feed has remained the same, the goat and chicken feed have decreased by only a few cents. Because we had such a severe drought this year, our hay was also seriously short. That means we had to purchase hay too. The cost in our area had shot up, at one point to over $200 per bale. We were able to get some for a lot less, but still - having to purchase it will lessen the profits even more. When Covid hit, everyone and their brother jumped into raising chickens. All that stimulous money ended up burning a hole in people's pockets. Rather than paying off debts, they went on spending sprees. So now, selling eggs is ridiculous. Not to mention, when you can buy the mass produced white eggs for $1 or so again, people think us lowly small farms should sell ours for that too. It's crazy that more people don't understand where there food comes from or how it's raised.

I personally am affected by other people's energy. You could put on a good show, act nicely, and have a silver tongue...but I have a built in bullshit detector. Whether you call this energy, vibe, or gut...there isn't much that gets past me. I observe, a lot! I tend to keep my distance from people until I have an understanding of their energy. When I am in stores, there is so many different energies, and sometimes it becomes overwhelming for me. When there is a bunch of rude people, that ends up ratcheting up my anxiety to a level that I have to physically leave the store. That was my experience at each of the places I was at yesterday. Especially the grocery store. It's difficult to explain, but once I get overwhelmed...I am done with whatever I am doing.

 

On to the holidays. I am honestly struggling with this, this year. I can't seem to find the same spirit I've gotten in prior years to even get excited. I am hoping this changes soon. We always plan for traditional meals on the holidays, our open house and even our New Years Eve gathering. This has always been my favorite time of year. The planning, the gatherings, the cooking, the baking, basically all of it. I love the beautiful decorations, and the kindness that is more defined usually during this time of year. Gifts to me are not as big of a deal. I like them, but my most favorite gifts are the times I get to spend and share with those I love. Having a younger child still at home, I want to help teach her these traditions so they can be passed down to future generations, without the drama/bias of the holidays being only about gifts. That has become more difficult through the years. It also is more difficult with others that no longer do these old-fashioned traditions. This year, I hope to be able to include my new daughter-in-laws, and my daughter. My husband has said it is time for me to start decorating...even though I had pretty much decided I wasn't decorating until December. I guess maybe he is hopeful it bring out some of my normal spirit. Maybe it will. 

 

Anyway, I have a list to get knocked out. Hopefully, the coming days will help redirect my mood, and allow me to find what I am looking for. Stay safe, warm and be kind.