A few thoughts

 

 

 

As usual, my thoughts are too much for a generic social media post. So, a quick outline on subjects...but we all know I rarely stay on the straight path. 

*Support Local Business

*Technology Challenged

*my 50th trip around the sun

*mish mash of thoughts

 

First, local business. I have used big box stores and even online shopping. So, that disclosure is first! I have spent several years trying to support small, local businesses. To me, it is not just about keeping our money in our communities, although that is a major bonus.  For me, it's about keeping businesses in our communities. I have seen a lot of our smaller communities severely impacted the past 25 years, by the rise in big box stores, corporate farming, the lingering effects of recessions and housing collapse(2008), and the increased need of instant gratification. The rise of big box stores and online shopping, has killed thousands of smaller businesses, and even competition. Growing up, we could go to a mall, have no less than 10 stores with similar items to choose from...now, we have Walmart, Amazon and to a much lessor degree Target. We have seen the news of Dollar Tree/Family Dollar, Big Lots, and now Kohl's closures. We've watched as Sears, Penney's, Bergner's and so many similar stores have disappeared. On the smaller scale, I have seen so many of my local communities struggling to stay relevant. Many of the towns that had post offices, churches, a bar, even a single store in them, have whittled away to nothing more than a cluster of residents; all swallowed up by mismanagement of government and big business. When we do not support our local small businesses, they can not stay in operation; and in turn will close. This has a bigger effect on the communities; from job losses, people leaving these communities, smaller schools closing forcing a large centralized school that requires long periods on a bus, and another community is left desolate. We have seen this happening to many of the small towns in my county. None of this allows for competition either. 

Growing up, in the time I did, I was part of the last generation that did not have technology until I was older. While my husband and I have a different experience with this, in my school...we didn't have computers until I was in high school. Then, it was those great big, massive boxes, that each one took up an entire desk. I think we had 8 of them to start with. I didn't have a cell phone until I was nearly 20 years old. I can still count on my hands, how many times I have played a video gaming console. I went through high school learning to type on a typewriter, learning shorthand - because it was what was taking over the business world, and learning every ounce of accounting paperwork - hand written. At 22, I started learning the computer business models in college. While I know that technology can be a great tool, and I use what I know how...I can definitely see the values of NOT having it. I know this is no longer an option, but I am struggling with how to use/learn technology beyond checking social media, emails and these blogs! Every ounce of education I received, is useless! I am not going to take on massive debt to go back and try to relearn everything I already learned...just on a stupid computer. Sadly, that leaves me and some others like me, in a predicament. No marketable skills after being out of the workforce for 20+ years. I don't have a means of learning the new programs, because they are outdated as quickly as you get them. Not to mention, as I said above, I live in a small community...and jobs are limited. While I can manage a lot of things, I am good at a lot of things, none seem to be beneficial off my farm, but are immeasurable on it. Asking for help to learn, is an option I have done...but it takes patience for anyone trying to teach me, and I usually get "let me do it, it's fast that way." So, for a couple more years, I have time to figure some things out while I finish raising my youngest, but time is flying. 

 

Ok, so I just had my 50th birthday a few weeks ago. Hallelujah!!! I have loved all but ONE of my birthdays...the one that hit me hard was my 30th. Anyway, I love it. 50 years of growing, learning, experiencing, and even the challenges; are incredible blessings! I won't tell you that live is all sunshine and roses, cause that would be a big ole lie! There's days it's a challenge when I realize the little things I can't do anymore, or when I go in search of reading glasses so I can read a text message, the time it takes to recover from illness/injury kinda sucks, but for each new day...I am given another opportunity to grow, learn more and hopefully inspire my children to do the same. I can tell you, my 40's were tough years! Especially the 43-49 range. Those years I struggled a lot, I watched my oldest go from baby to getting married and moving out without a second thought, I have dealt with perimenopause all these years(still, to a degree), and having more changes than I ever thought possible in my life. There are a few things I would never change: being a stay-at-home mom for my kids, home schooling, moving to our farm, taking a chance on the sweet - if not a little forward farm kid(husband), learning to make any and every house a home, pretty much most of my adult life - I wouldn't change. I don't do things I feel like I will regret later. I did that when I was younger, it didn't pan out so well...so, I adapted. While I devoted my life to my kids from the first to this last one, trying to be everything to them that I needed growing up, while trying to teach them to be of good character, integrity and honorable people...I missed the memo, about overdoing it and not letting them see the faults in people, the poor character of people, or having to manage the fall out from those situations. I kept that from them. That was a mistake on my part. But now, at 50, I'm looking to find who "Salli" is now. The person away from being a Wife, and a Mom....it's a bit intimidating but also a little exciting. Who knew you could reinvest yourself, or revive yourself! I am excited to see what this year and beyond bring. 

We are half way through January already! We are about a week from our lamb season starting for 2025. I love the baby lambs, but the weather is always a concern. I would like to believe we won't have any lambs to raise on a bottle this year, but that is unrealistic. We have an average of 4 each, sometimes more, sometimes less. That means all night feedings, just like a baby for 6 weeks minimum. It also means cages in my dining room, wood chips all over, and my husband will spend as much time in the barn as he does the house - for about 6 weeks. It's almost time to start preparing for the garden, which is undergoing major changes this year. No more "big gardens," but some smaller garden areas, and some fun gardening/projects.

Coffee and Conversation

 

I am really battling having to minimize my thoughts on social media. So many people read about 3 sentences, like the post and never pay attention. It takes too much time to consider anything, so the mindless scrolling continues. So, I am putting my thoughts in blogs, if nothing more than my own personal journey. My coffee & conversations is replacing coffee chats...because the focus has changed. 

This morning, I spent a couple hours learning some new skills for gardens and trees. There is still a LOT to learn, but I don't see any reason I can't learn these skills and actually use them! Not only are these skills beneficial to the direction I am wanting to go, but they are the fiscally responsible way to go too! Bonus, and big win, in my book. I have used several big plots of land, over the years, to have a traditional looking garden spot. It has worked for a few years at a time, then the soil requires a lot of maintenance to maintain its productivity - a lot of provisions; wood ash, manure, grass clippings, etc. This is all fine, and I needed the large area to have enough growth to preserve large amounts of vegetables & fruits. As the number of people in my house has decreased, so has the unbelievably large amounts of food I need to produce. Now, I get to have some fun with my gardening. I can play around with different growing methods, different small plots and containers, and do more focusing on raising a medicinal garden too. While I have experimented with different things through the years, it's always been with a backup source in the event of failure. After 7 years of gardening for required produce to feed my family, maintain a supply of quality and quantity of food for as many as 10 people for meals; this will be my first year of gardening for 3. Both my previous beds will be allowed to go back to grass, and my fun gardening gets to take hold. I do still need enough for 3 people in my home, but you can't imagine how much less that takes, and how much actually grows - even in experiments, that will provide even if I end up not liking whatever I do. I have several classes/tutorials lined up, even hoping to finally get around to the herbalism class I have wanted to do for over a decade. 

Before my birthday, I wrote up about 4 pages of general goals and 3 pages of dated goals, for my year. I have extremely high expectations, and that really played into 2024 for me. Expectations are great, but as my blunt daughter enlighted me to, "Momma, not everyone is like you." So, having expectations is setting yourself up for a lot of let down. So, I'm returning to my own tried and true knowledge of goals. My goals are something, I can control. They are not based on anyone or anything else. So, if I fail to meet one...it's MY job to start again, try again, and find a way to succeed. This can be daunting when you are surrounded with negativity, but that is all the more reason to persevere! I forgot this for a spell, but now it's time to succeed. I've found many things that do not work, I just keep going until I find something that does! 

Another area, that is my main focus until late Spring, is my house. My home has gone through 7 years of being a revolving door for people needing a place to stay. In turn, that meant cramming a lot of stuff, where ever it would fit, and generally not eliminating clutter before someone else moved in or out. Remodeling projects went on hold, and have not been finished yet...that is also changing. We had 2 open rooms once everyone moved out this last time, and they are being repurposed completely. One room is becoming the pantry, the other is my husband's business/man cave. I have spent this week going through my daughter's disaster area. I will tell you, overwhelm does not even touch that! I started in on her closet over a year ago, and I dropped the ball on that; but my lack of completing her closet remodel, resulting in her entire room being unorganized, cluttered and awful...and her being a slob, did not help! We are working on it together! Although a break today was necessary because the dust in there is killing my allergies!There are several areas that need fixing, and they will be get done too. Each room is getting a thorough cleaning - washing walls, windows, trims, cleaned, vacuumed, dusted, and finished before moving on. My daughter's room and one extra room, are the worst....but when I am done with them, the rest will be easier. At least until I get to the kitchen, that requires finally getting rid of that popcorn ceiling. That will be dusty and nasty, so it has to be warm enough to open some windows! My chicken coop/goat house/duck house is a major priority this year. It's been in bad shape for a couple of years, but it's now leaking bad and the amount of daily you can see from the inside is not good. I just have to decide how I want to handle that. Maybe by summer, lumber prices will be back to a respectable price. Even if it's not, I have to fix that this year. There is a lot of clearing out to do outdoors too. We have utilized some reasonably priced items for storage(since we didn't have enough barn space) but they have worn out their time as objects and are now also leaking/falling apart. So, we have some decisions to make...if we intend to stay put, building a larger shed/barn is going to be necessary. Then there are a lot of factors to figure in about size, interest rates, overall use, etc. We originally set everything up to be temporary so we could build something better by now. There's been a LOT of water under THAT bridge. This year for my little family, is a lot of decisions that have to be made and set in stone. 

I have some other decisions to make also. Now that my kids are all but grown(youngest will be 16), I have a serious case of empty nesting and needing something for myself, finally. I've had to accept the fact that everything my college degree trained me for is no longer being used. So, my degree is worthless! I can run a family, manage our farm, grow and raise stuff...but have no usable skills to speak of, off the farm. I refuse to go back to get another worthless degree, at this age. I am really hoping to find something I enjoy, can learn some skills along the way, and maybe make a little something in the process. 24 years ago, when my oldest was born,and again 16 years ago when my youngest was born, I devoted everything to my kids. I put my whole world into them. My kids always have and always will, come first, above and beyond even myself usually. That meant I basically did not do anything without one or both of them with me, 24/7. Now, the oldest is married and on his own and the youngest is pretty self-sufficient; this mom no longer has direction. We all remember at 24, you know everything about everything, so mom isn't that important. That's honestly how we want to raise them, it's just hard to accept that success. So, there's not much guidance to give there. The youngest, outside of required education and trying to teach life skill basics...mom is just not needed as much either. Then there's "Mom," for the first time in 24 years with some time, not being needed every second of everyday, wondering "what do I do now?" I have to find things that interest me again, that will allow for the things I still have to do. It's a bit terrifying, I will admit. 

 

My journal writing, my blogs and the conversations I carry in real life will guide me, along with God's hand; that I pray for each day. 

A simpler life goal

 

A simple life should never be minimized as an easy life. I personally believe our societal breakdown in grammar has reduced actual knowledge of the meaning of terms. So, a quick grammar correction of definition:

Simple - If you describe people or things as simple, you mean that they have all the basic or necessary things they require, but nothing extra.

Easy -  If a job or action is easy, you can do it without difficulty or effort.

 I believe we have all gotten wrapped up in consumerism, and over indulge. If you look realistically, think about the number of storage unit facilities that have popped up the last 20 years. It is mind boggling to think about. 

How much do we really need? Many people work an exorbitant amount of hours each week; spending all that time away from their family, their home, and all the things they continue to purchase, and for what? When you require less stuff, you are not going to be required to work so much, and in turn...you will be able to actually enjoy what you have. 

2025 is my year of returning to simple. I got wrapped up, like so many others. It didn't make me happier and realistically, it stressed me clear out. Sure there are things I would like to replace, as many of the items we have, are old and worn out. That is a natural progression. Just continuing to add to the crap we already have and don't necessarily have room for, is not in my cards. It's important to me to be an example to my own children, of a simple life. A life free of the chains of debt slavery, of too much unnecessary stuff and actually living instead of existing. My children are all young adults now, but it's important they still understand now before they get too far over their heads. 

My year is returning to basics. I got lost early last year and it took me a long time to pull out of that. This year, I am cleaning out stuff! I am going through every room, the attic, every shed, pretty much everything on our property and eliminating stuff. What can be, will be donated to our local 2nd hand store, some will be dumpster filler, fire starter or hauled for scrap. My gardens are taking new shape this year. I will not be using the main garden or even the back garden. We don't need as much for just the 3 people in our home, but we are going back to a natural diet to help my health and allergies. I will be doing some container gardening, some spot gardening(small squares in areas that work for my needs), and some beds. Many of my fruit trees and vines have quit producing or need some serious attention...and I neglected them last year. I have decided I need to be a better steward of this little plot of land, in my control. I have watched a couple local farmers destroy hundreds, if not thousands of trees, because they are so fiscally irresponsible they need to farm every square inch possible to pay for all they have spent. So, I am going to be planting some trees. I probably won't get as many as I'd like to, because I am fiscally responsible and trees are expensive. As far as that goes, I'd put a house in the middle of a 100 acres of trees if I could! All this worked soil is destroying the land. Yes, we need farming, but desecrating hundreds of acres of trees is adding to the serious dust problems, soil nutrient deficiencies, and wildlife habitat. Crop rotation has helped some, but it will never solve the problem. Nature replenishes itself when it's given what it needs. 

I am redoing my firepit this year. There were several flaws in my original design, and it needs addressed. We have spent so much time racing the clock, that we have neglected to use it much. I am changing that this year, even if I am the only one enjoying it. Being outdoors and getting some down time, is a large benefit to our health. Whether it's sitting around a bonfire, enjoying the natural vitamin d from the sun, having our hands in dirt or grounding; they all benefit our health! With so much technology in our world today, it is obvious to me why there is so much illness. The EMF's coming off all the smart meters, windmills and even solar panels; disrupt your circadian rhythm. We can no longer get away from this anymore, so we must take decisive steps to heal ourselves where we can. 

This last year showed me that while I know a lot of people, and most of them are good people, the majority are not MY people/My tribe. I have a handful that, are undoubtedly my inner circle, but it has been a little depressing to realize that most are not. When you look for people who are within your field of skill, abilities, knowledge, trust(biggest), and even if opinions differ...still able to have respectful conversation; it's pretty humbling to realize who you can or can not call on when you need them OR they just show up when you need them most - without you even having to say anything! I'm not necessarily talking about in person, and that is awesome too but you get a phone call or message saying "hey, I was thinking about you and wanted to check in on you!" I guess it's the ones that you feel really listen when you talk, not that just  brush over things, or not the ones you only hear from when they want to challenge or correct you. It is humbling having to learn(relearn) the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Not everyone is a friend, and friendship should be a coveted endearment. 

I had a lot of things blow up in my face in 2024, it knocked me down....hard! I know how to dance, but cha-cha'ing through the entire year, was almost too much. Yet, there were 3 steady Friends, that were actually there as I needed them. One of them being my husband, who sadly was the one receiving the majority of my ire. He is not one that will just coddle my moods...needless to say, he found buttons that just should not be pushed. He's been a trooper though. While we can SAY that we will be there for people, offer them a safe place to have a conversation; I personally didn't feel that "welcome" this past year. I saw a lot of judgement, a lot of gossip, and a lack of empathy/compassion for anyone or anything that had differed from the opinion of others. I know I am guilty of this, and the past year was my worst - because, for me, it was difficult to have compassion for anyone when that compassion for myself was gone. 

So, returning to a simpler life goal, has become a necessity for me. I stick to my own world most of the time. I will stay on top of things in the news, but simplicity also means knowing when to shut out the outside world. Whether that be a few hours or days; we all need to recharge. I'm choosing to recharge with eliminating things that are no longer serving a purpose for me. Getting rid of the toxicity where I can, but also stepping out of my self-induced comfort zone. You can not grow in your comfort zone. It's a great place to find balance, but you need more to continue growing. I love learning, so I'm focusing on that by increasing skills in areas that interest me. I'm not going to go learn mechanics....but I may just try my hand at some concrete work. I'd love to build my husband the grilling patio he deserves, but I have to learn how first! Having found that my computer skills are very 90's ish and not learning all this new editing crap, whether that be photo or documents, I need so big work there too. I continually learn new gardening/cooking skills...this is truly my area of love. I have just gotten away from so much after reaching a severe burn out state last year. I lost interest in everything. I will be fixing this, I am realistic enough to know it will take time, but my goals are set to fix it. 

I am excited to be on a better path for 2025. I hope to document this journey, so maybe it can help someone else too!

 

Coffee and Conversations

 

Happy New Year! 2025

My new year actually began on my birthday(Dec. 28). I have some pretty massive goals for this year, that are returning to a lot basics, removing a lot of toxicity, and finding my own balance/place again. Well, that's the generic list anyway. The new year itself, did not start on a high note for me....I ended up physically sick new year's eve and am just now feeling a little more human. Thankfully, I am finally able to eat again(yes, I am knocking on wood, as I type this)! I would love to get rid of the headache though. While I have big plans to brush off so much of the negativity I deal with, I am realistic to know that there will be some that still kicks me. So, let's get into this conversation. 

I am so much of a planner. I have notes FOR notes. Calendars in about every room, outlines; you name it. I pay attention to details, try to keep up with important dates/holidays, and make a celebration of accomplishments. When I don't do all this...life gets chaotic for me. Being honest....I lose the illusion of control. I have to control my environment to keep things comfortable for me...but that also means, I end up stuck in my own comfort zone...which does not allow for growth. It's a catch 22. The last few years have been a nightmare of life kicking me in the butt. I am working towards leveling the playing field again. This year, I want to encourage growth. This will be different methods and meaning for everyone, but I want to share my journey. If my journey helps even one person, then I will be happy. 

Now that it is January, we have some important dates to know. January 3rd - 119th Congress is sworn in. January 6th - 119th Congress will certify the November election. January 20th - 47th Presidential Inauguration, President Trump/Vice President Vance. These are Constitutionally recognized dates and procedures.  The swearing in of the incoming President can not be prior to Noon, Eastern Time. We have given this administration a priority to work for American's first. We the people, have to hold each of them accountable. For several decades, the elected people have taken tax dollars, freedoms and liberties from All American's; and now we must demand they return to being the Statesmen the Constitution required them to be. These people have been creating bills that hundreds to thousands of pages long, and they are not read before signing into law. A bill with a catchy title, typically holds 87 different laws/regulations, instead of a single one. These Representatives, that work for us, do not interact with us. They are no longer in every community they are elected to serve. These Representatives should be required to visit every county, at least, once per year...NOT just to try to get votes for an election. As American's, it is our responsibility to KNOW what is in the bills - not just what they want us to know, BEFORE it's ever put to a vote. We must demand they balance the national budget, and start paying off the national debt. Each of us is required to live on a budget, and we don't get to go just print more money. We need American industry. America has become dependent on imports, and that is not sustainable. American's must relearn the meaning of responsibility, self-preservation, and fiscal responsibility. We must also relearn the Constitution and how much has been taken from us by becoming lazy in this knowledge. 

Knowledge. I have heard for many years now, how busy everyone's lives are and how they don't have time to research. How can you know what's going on with your very freedom, if you are not understanding what is happening in your country? Rather than being dumbed down with the bread and circus of television, do some research into how your elected representatives are voting and what they are voting for. This needs to be on a local and national level. Too many of them are flying under the radar while lining their pockets, and emptying yours. Learn who your reps are, and contact them when you need to. The "news" is not an educational tool, it's entertainment at best.

We need to relearn Community. This is an important one for me. Living in a rural area for more than a decade, I have seen how neighbors help neighbors. I have also seen what happens when outside people come in upend that apple cart. People forget or don't know to start with, how to be neighbors. In our area, we have had about 10 new neighbors in the time we have lived here, with about as many that were here prior. Helping a neighbor still is a priority in my house, but so many won't unless there is something in it for them. Even then, there are some that refuse to be involved at all. It's really sad to see. It once was a normal occurrence for neighbors to look out for each other. They would be there to protect, defend, help out, and have each others backs. Now, it has become as cut-throat as the soulless cities have. If you want help, you better be prepared to pay them, in one way or another. Nearly all of the new neighbors we have, you never see let alone have talked to. It is very sad to see some of the old fashioned values and integrity disintegrate. I can only speak for my household, but we still hold those values in high regard. 

As I said, my new year began December 28th, on my 50th birthday. I can not control anyone, nor would I want that chore. I can, however, control those that have access to the things/people that mean the most to me. Living rent free in my personal space, won't be happening anymore. I care about people, but not what they think/say about me...especially when I am not in the room. One thing I have learned, if you can not respect me enough to defend me when I am not there, you don't respect me. People that must gossip, do so because they want to keep attention from themselves. "Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house." 

With this new year, I am focusing on me. I have had a few years that have been really trying and tough. I have let my health - both physical and mental, slip. I have to fix that. I have allowed too many and too much to negatively affect me. I can't do that anymore. I am returning to my basics - raising/growing my own food, nurturing my family, working with veterans in every way possible, updating my skills and hopefully learning new ones, gaining the 30 pounds I have lost, spending more time in nature and with my camera, getting back to cooking/baking everything possible from scratch, getting my allergies back under control, and so much more! As I said, I have some pretty big expectations for this year. My goals are big, and I know it will be a challenge to succeed in all of them...but I am capable! 

I will succeed even if I only reach half my goals, but I believe in over achievement, at least on the positive side. So, my blogs will return to what's happening in our country, gardening, growing/preserving foods, home school, livestock, herbalism, photography and that sort of thing. I have saged my home(although I need a new one), am working towards deep cleaning every single room, getting it organized because I want to enjoy life...not just spent all day, every day working. When something is no longer working for you, it's YOU that has to fix it. 

Happy 2025! It's a great time to set new goals and go after them!!