Each one of us go through changes throughout our lives. We begin to experience these changes throughout the major age changes. It goes from Childhood, to Teens, to Young Adults, to Parenting, To Mid-life, to Retirement, etc. Some days these things change on an hourly basis at any point in our lives.
Having reached "mid-life," I know the changes that are happening to me both physically and mentally. Having spent almost 14 years as a wife, and 11 1/2 years as a Mom...I can honestly say that my own emotions, and needs have changed through the years. As a young adult, I believed in the proverbial "happily ever after." In my mid to late 20's, I learned that fairy tales are just that! In my early 30's, I learned so much about faith, unexpected blessings, and simplicity. As I get closer to my 40's, I am still learning and wanting to learn. I have began to look at life so much differently. I am also finding that my needs are changing again, as well.
For the past year, I have been attempting to find out who I am again. Outside of being a wife and Mom... I have been trying to find "Salli" in tangled web of who I am. So, I have done a lot of soul searching, and continue to do so every day, and have tried to let go of some of the control I have tried to keep for years. As someone who has to have some sort of control over everything that happens in my life...this has been difficult. I have delegated out some of the regular chores, even though I don't always like the way they are done...it's a few less things I have to do and it gives me a little time to focus on me.
I have found that I have become way too serious, spontaneity is not normal for me, and being consumed by what I think it means to have a great life, great marriage, being a great parent, etc. consumes me every single day. I am seriously NOT complaining about my life. I have been extremely blessed to be able to live this life despite the times of trials. However, even through all the blessings I feel and the privilege of being a stay-at-home mom, there still seems to be something lacking. I can honestly tell you that what's lacking is me. I can't place any blame on any one, because it's my responsibility to be happy within myself. Although I'm still not certain how to make that happen, I am trying everyday.
I know as I have gotten older, I am finding that I do need to be more willing to let others help me. I need to regain my ability to speak up for myself, and to not let others treat or talk to me as if they are better than me. I have let people treat me like a doormat, and verbally degrade me for many years. As I work to re-empower and regain myself, it becomes more apparent to me that the person I have become is not who I want to be. I want to be the person who is fun, responsible, stands up for herself even in the face of adversity, who no one can push around....basically the person I was 15 years ago. That person was me, I didn't care what others thought of me, I was happy with me. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't cringe at the reflection.
At this point in my life, I have found that I need to be respected....by my family, extended family and friends. They don't have to agree with me or like my decisions...but they have to respect them. I need my family to understand that just because an idea is not in the proverbial box, does not necessarily mean it's "stupid or wrong." I will not be taken for granted any more. It's not to be assumed that I will just do everything, the small common courtesy's of please and thank you will get you a long way. I don't know everything, and I am not always right but I will be honest and loyal to those that treat me with respect. If you are disrespectful, judgmental, and degrading...you will be excluded from my life. There are too many people that emit so much negativity it just absolutely drains me, emotionally! I do not want negativity around me or my family.
As my husband and I approach our 14 year anniversary, there have been many times I didn't think we'd reach this point. We have had our fair share of trials, road bumps, happiness, and upsets. We have different opinions, thoughts, and ways of dealing with things. We've tried to make sure there has been time for us as a couple since we've had kids, and sometimes that works. Sometimes....it doesn't. We can always tell when we haven't had "couple time." We find our relationship being stressed, even though we talk every day, it's not the same as a weekend of just us. For several months now, we've had so many pressing things going on that finding a weekend to just be a couple hasn't happened. We've had too many things going on and haven't taken time for us.
I hope that I can continue to redevelop myself into the person I want to be. I know many Moms who are experiencing similar emotions and are trying to re-find themselves. This has been a year long journey so far for me, and I'm still not done.
"I may not be the person I should be, but I'm better than I used to be."
Salli
This crazy but wonderful life we live. Home education, self-sufficient living, learning, growing, and finding our way on our farm and in life. Teaching frugality, logic, and common sense. Grab some coffee and enjoy my regular writings on current subjects and interests.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Stand up and be counted!
There's no apparent reason for being a "doormat" type of person. All statistics say that everyone is capable of imaginable intellence with training. Quite frankly, I believe the more you learn the more wise you are...not necessarily smart, but wise.
I have spoke with so many of my Mom friends and so many of us are in the same position. We are first and foremost a Mom. Then we are wives, keeper of the home/laundry/meals/shopping/jobs/etc. Then when all of that is done, that's when we are supposed to fit in time to just be us. As I look at the first few sentences...I am laughing at home minimized that sounds compared to all that we do! I don't know about others, but by the time I finish all the daily chores, and requirements...I am falling down exhausted! There isn't time for me, let alone finding time everyday to just be me. Some of us have added the role of teacher to our already huge list of jobs, which adds a whole other element to our already hectic schedules. I will never complain about being my children's teacher but I do get annoyed when someone degrades me - whether intentional or not! I truly get to enjoy my children 24/7. I am a full-time Mom, a part-time business owner, a full-time wife and homesteader. Ha, that in and of itself is hilarious from my personal upbringing.
I have been given a very unique and challenging, culture shock. Since I have moved to Missouri, I have learned to grow a garden, can/freeze food out of that garden, hunt, butcher, budget, juggle, and in the last few months I am learning what it's like to live on a farm with livestock. There were many struggles and many years of fighting against all of this! I have slowly adjusted to different personalities, and the different lifestyles. It's been a challenge and very hard for me. I have spent a lot of time learning how to deal with the personalities. Some are super easy going, some are trying to keep up with the Jones', some are self-centered, some don't give a crap and many others just work their tails off to make a decent life for themselves and their families.
It's been a challenge for me to meet people as I am home 99% of the time. As I make a home, and a life for our family, I have received a lot of critism for the way we do things. Although some do it as a joke, some are just out & out cruel. I have always been told that the 1% of the population that steps outside the proverbial box have always been considered "weird," by the mainstream. However, it's that 1% that have made the huge milestones of our history. I'm not saying that anyone in our family will be the next Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Graham Bell, or Bill Gates....but we are carving a piece of history for us. We are teaching our kids the way we believe. We are showing them how to be self-sufficient, how to make do with whatever they have, and how to succeed without being told what to do. Our kids are taught to think for themselves and be true leaders. We don't have to fight with the bully issues anymore, we don't have an ill-advised test to rate our kids intellegence nor do we have the peer pressures of clothing/drugs/sex.
When my husband and I decided it was time to purchase a small chunk of ground, it was after many nights of late conversations, a few arguments, and a lot challenges for 2 people with 2 different upbringings. I agreed to live on a farm, something I was not really brought up with but something that I was more than happy to learn. I did a lot of soul searching. Since we've been married, we've lived outside of town. There is a huge difference from living in the country to living on a farm. I knew that it would be another big adjustment for me, and it has been. I have always loved the idea of farming, but to actually do it was a HUGE leap of faith. I love our farm, love the animals, and don't even mind the other work that goes into our place.
When my husband and I first met, I was a spit-fire! I was independent, spirited and didn't give 2 cents what others thought of me because I was happy with who I was. As many Moms will tell you, you lose sight of who you are as a person when you get married and have kids. I did just that while trying to learn and adjust to the new life I took on when I got married. We were married for almost a year when our oldest was born. We had tried the whole working mom thing, and it just wasn't working for us. Before my oldest had his 2nd birthday, we decided that it was more cost effective for me to be a SAHM. This was very difficult for me. I would no longer have my time, my own money, and an identity of my own. I didn't realize the effect this would have until after the fact. I would never have believed how difficult it would be to adjust to not having a job. After 11 years of basically being a SAHM, I have found myself in that rut of just being a Mom and wife...with no identity of my own. I haven't had time to keep up with hobbies that I once enjoyed, nor have I been out enough to meet new people and the ones I have met have a lot different of a personality than I do. The friends that I've had for years(since school), find it hard to be around me now. There's a large distance in miles between us now, and I am a completely different person than the one they knew. Some of them are humored by the change I have gone through, some say that there's no way I could be happy living like I do, and others don't say much but give you that odd look of pity.
I'm not the same person I was even 15 years ago. I am older, wiser, and a lot more weathered. I have been through things that have knocked me down-but I have gotten back up, I have adapted my life so many times in my life time that I'm not sure if I could even pinpoint what my true personality is anymore, I've grown, learned, struggled, let go, and been knocked down, but you know...I get up every single time and brush my self off. I get a few more scars and callouses, and become a little stronger everyday. For years, I have allowed people to treat me with disrespect, to look at me as an outsider, to think it's ok look down their nose at me, and that has all come to an end. I refuse to look in the mirror and not be happy with the reflection looking back at me.
I know that we change as we get older. We become more aware, and our morals and values change too. The one thing I know for sure - People will either like us or they won't. I choose to be true to myself, and my little family. People will either like me for the REAL me or they can just walk away. I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, but I am going to be ME. I don't do drama, gossip, and back stabbing. I work hard to keep our family healthy, happy, informed and above all else, in touch with a magnificent creator that thinks we are worth loving.
I have spoke with so many of my Mom friends and so many of us are in the same position. We are first and foremost a Mom. Then we are wives, keeper of the home/laundry/meals/shopping/jobs/etc. Then when all of that is done, that's when we are supposed to fit in time to just be us. As I look at the first few sentences...I am laughing at home minimized that sounds compared to all that we do! I don't know about others, but by the time I finish all the daily chores, and requirements...I am falling down exhausted! There isn't time for me, let alone finding time everyday to just be me. Some of us have added the role of teacher to our already huge list of jobs, which adds a whole other element to our already hectic schedules. I will never complain about being my children's teacher but I do get annoyed when someone degrades me - whether intentional or not! I truly get to enjoy my children 24/7. I am a full-time Mom, a part-time business owner, a full-time wife and homesteader. Ha, that in and of itself is hilarious from my personal upbringing.
I have been given a very unique and challenging, culture shock. Since I have moved to Missouri, I have learned to grow a garden, can/freeze food out of that garden, hunt, butcher, budget, juggle, and in the last few months I am learning what it's like to live on a farm with livestock. There were many struggles and many years of fighting against all of this! I have slowly adjusted to different personalities, and the different lifestyles. It's been a challenge and very hard for me. I have spent a lot of time learning how to deal with the personalities. Some are super easy going, some are trying to keep up with the Jones', some are self-centered, some don't give a crap and many others just work their tails off to make a decent life for themselves and their families.
It's been a challenge for me to meet people as I am home 99% of the time. As I make a home, and a life for our family, I have received a lot of critism for the way we do things. Although some do it as a joke, some are just out & out cruel. I have always been told that the 1% of the population that steps outside the proverbial box have always been considered "weird," by the mainstream. However, it's that 1% that have made the huge milestones of our history. I'm not saying that anyone in our family will be the next Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Graham Bell, or Bill Gates....but we are carving a piece of history for us. We are teaching our kids the way we believe. We are showing them how to be self-sufficient, how to make do with whatever they have, and how to succeed without being told what to do. Our kids are taught to think for themselves and be true leaders. We don't have to fight with the bully issues anymore, we don't have an ill-advised test to rate our kids intellegence nor do we have the peer pressures of clothing/drugs/sex.
When my husband and I decided it was time to purchase a small chunk of ground, it was after many nights of late conversations, a few arguments, and a lot challenges for 2 people with 2 different upbringings. I agreed to live on a farm, something I was not really brought up with but something that I was more than happy to learn. I did a lot of soul searching. Since we've been married, we've lived outside of town. There is a huge difference from living in the country to living on a farm. I knew that it would be another big adjustment for me, and it has been. I have always loved the idea of farming, but to actually do it was a HUGE leap of faith. I love our farm, love the animals, and don't even mind the other work that goes into our place.
When my husband and I first met, I was a spit-fire! I was independent, spirited and didn't give 2 cents what others thought of me because I was happy with who I was. As many Moms will tell you, you lose sight of who you are as a person when you get married and have kids. I did just that while trying to learn and adjust to the new life I took on when I got married. We were married for almost a year when our oldest was born. We had tried the whole working mom thing, and it just wasn't working for us. Before my oldest had his 2nd birthday, we decided that it was more cost effective for me to be a SAHM. This was very difficult for me. I would no longer have my time, my own money, and an identity of my own. I didn't realize the effect this would have until after the fact. I would never have believed how difficult it would be to adjust to not having a job. After 11 years of basically being a SAHM, I have found myself in that rut of just being a Mom and wife...with no identity of my own. I haven't had time to keep up with hobbies that I once enjoyed, nor have I been out enough to meet new people and the ones I have met have a lot different of a personality than I do. The friends that I've had for years(since school), find it hard to be around me now. There's a large distance in miles between us now, and I am a completely different person than the one they knew. Some of them are humored by the change I have gone through, some say that there's no way I could be happy living like I do, and others don't say much but give you that odd look of pity.
I'm not the same person I was even 15 years ago. I am older, wiser, and a lot more weathered. I have been through things that have knocked me down-but I have gotten back up, I have adapted my life so many times in my life time that I'm not sure if I could even pinpoint what my true personality is anymore, I've grown, learned, struggled, let go, and been knocked down, but you know...I get up every single time and brush my self off. I get a few more scars and callouses, and become a little stronger everyday. For years, I have allowed people to treat me with disrespect, to look at me as an outsider, to think it's ok look down their nose at me, and that has all come to an end. I refuse to look in the mirror and not be happy with the reflection looking back at me.
I know that we change as we get older. We become more aware, and our morals and values change too. The one thing I know for sure - People will either like us or they won't. I choose to be true to myself, and my little family. People will either like me for the REAL me or they can just walk away. I'm not perfect, I don't know everything, but I am going to be ME. I don't do drama, gossip, and back stabbing. I work hard to keep our family healthy, happy, informed and above all else, in touch with a magnificent creator that thinks we are worth loving.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I need to rant....
Ok, I know I am very opinionated but I have to scratch my head at so many of the opinions/remarks of people that think they are making their point...only to look like mindless animals just following the herd!
I am a person who will go to bat every single time that something I firmly believe in is questioned. I will also point out differing opinions to people when they are argueing about a subject just to try to get people to look at both sides. So, my rant today.....politics, religion, and SAHM's (stay-at-home-moms, for those unfamiliar with the abbrivation.). I'm sure it will strike a nerve with many, and that's fine...but this is my opinion, and my blog. If you don't agree, or it pisses you off...quit reading!
Politics- Yep, one of those subjects that fires everyone up. Whether you are Democratic, Republican, or Independent. Me personally...I'm not sure what I am other than an American. A person that will vote on the person, not the party. Someone who will look past the typical lies of a politician to see what COULD happen with the candidate. I have voted both Dem and Rep. The 2 main parties have become one in the same. The politicians are all liars. They play the game of telling you all what you want to hear, and apparently many need to go back to civics class, because it takes ALL 3 branches of government to make things happen. Our President is only allowed certain freedoms, he has to get the approval of the House and Senate to make most things law, our House and Senate can only do so much without the approval of the President, and when both of those branches mess up...then it goes to the 3rd branch, the Judicial Branch(e.i. The Supreme Court). Now, I understand that there are certain citizens that would love to place the blame of everything that goes wrong on the President. I would love to point out though, that it's just not reality to do so. Our President is very limited on what he's actually able to do. We have had basically 16 years, since I started voting, of Democrat and Republican leaders. Although I was still young when I voted for Bill Clinton, I was aware of what was going on when I voted for George W. Bush, and when I voted in 2008, I voted for the Libertarians. Although I have already based my primary vote on one candidate, he is not a typical leader from either party. I was able to research his track record. I was able to see how he has voted, and if he was a man of his word or just another puppet. It really irritates me when people just vote how they are told to vote. Whether it be the unions, their friends, or the pathetic "my vote won't count anyway." Come on people! Get your heads out of the sand! Look, and I mean REALLy look, at the candidates. Do your own research, and quit listening to a bunch of talking heads. That is what has gotten us in the mess we are in. Not the political parties. We allow Wall street to control how much our commodities are going to be, we allow other nations to decide if we are going to a war or not, we allow our own boarders to be vulnerable while our service members are spread so thin throughout the world, and we allow our well paying jobs to go overseas because we are too cheap to buy only American made goods! Get this through your heads.... Our current economy is in shambles not only because of our educated idiot politicians, but also because of US!
I can remember as a young person, living in a small town. That small town was booming. Everyone knew everyone, our children were safe to play as long as we were home before the porch lights came on, we didn't live on fast food, and when we went to school...we were safe! Our parents all had decent jobs, most of the toys we played with did NOT say, "Made in China," and we were expected to help our neighbors and friends! We had respect for our elders, we had respect for our teachers, and if we didn't....well, that was when we got spanked! We would have never dreamed of turning our parents in for abuse. We knew when we did something wrong we would get in trouble, we would get spanked, and probably grounded, and we expected it! All these damned talking heads have infiltrated our lives with pathetic laws that take most rights away from parents, have put teachers in danger every single day, and the younger generations have ZERO respect for their elders. This is our own faults, folks! So many people today think that it's the governments job to take care of them, and to they have come to expect it. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. It's not the governments job to bail you out when you can't budget, over spend, can't manage money, or refuse to work a job making less than you think you deserve. The government itself screws up everything it touches, everyone can surely see that. If not then you really need glasses!
Religion - Oh boy, another hot button for me. I think if I read/hear one more person claim to be a Christian, yet be so judgmental of others, I am going to blow a gasket! I honestly do not believe that anyone on Earth is an expert on the Bible, but here's my opinion of what I do understand! According to the Bible, all of Jesus' disciples were chosen. They were NOT perfect. Each of them were either hard working business owners, alcoholics, adulterers, or dirt poor. Jesus did not judge them. He did not tell them they were less faithful just because of their past discrestions. He took them under his wing, he guided them, he helped the ones he could and then he died on that cross to forgive us our sins. I see and hear so many talking about social issues not being Christian or going against the Bible. Here is my opinion. MIND YOUR OWN DAMNED BUSINESS! It is the modern Christian Churches that have decided that your not Christian if you don't go to a church, if you're gay, if you have a right to decide to have a child or not, if one religion or another is right or wrong. Quite frankly, if you really wanted to follow the Bible's teachings, there was only ONE religion....Jewish. It was Jewish people that were the disciples, it was Jewish people who walked with Jesus. Every single one of these other religions were formed when someone didn't agree with the teachings of the Jewish people. It is my opinion that the Bible, although many read it as it's a book, is simple many different passages put together. Similar to a journal. Either way, the God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit I believe and have a strong faith in, is a loving God, and savior. Jesus died on that cross for the sins of his people. Not just this sins of those supposedly to be followers, but ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. So, to me that would mean that even those who choose a life different from what I would choose, are saved becaused he loved every single one of us. Do you believe you are not sinners? HA! If you really wanted to be technical, we all sin on a regular basis. We celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ, yet we go out and break our budgets to buy a bunch of gifts that typically are broke or not wanted/needed, we celebrate Easter as the Resurection of Christ...yet the festivities that we have incorporated into Easter are a Pagen tradition to worship the God of War, Sex, birth and Sun. That's where the Easter Bunny, easter eggs come in. It has NOTHING to do with the actual Resurrection of Christ. I don't know anyone that actually goes out cooks a lamp on a fire, spread the blood of that lamb above their door, and eats that lamb as if starving at a certain time. That is the way the Resurrection of Christ is supposed to be celebrated! So, the next time you decide to write/speak/ or post something that is supposedly NOT Christian...think twice. You do not need to sit in a building full of hypocrits to have faith in God. You can pray, read the Bible - anywhere you choose. Faith comes from your soul, not what you are wearing, what church you attend, what "religion" you are, or what material items you have. Quite honestly, finding my own personal heritage, has had me believing that my Native American anscetors are the most sane of anyone on Earth! I look forward to learning more about such a large piece of my background, and hope that as I learn and grow with them that they will adopt me back into their tribes. There is so much craziness about with religion, that hearing from some of the original inhabitors of the Earth will be refreshing!
SAHMS - For those unaware of this abbriviation, it means Stay-At-Home-Moms. This is what most of our Grandmothers were for my generation. They were the "Home Makers." They ran the family, budget, and made their houses into homes. They worked hard, they just did it without pay, and without recognition. As many of my generation is finding out, being a SAHM is both rewarding and irritating. We are looked down upon, and treated as second rate citizens. If you are a SAHM, you are thought of as mindless, "lucky," or just plain lazy. Well, now.... I can tell you as a SAHM, I am none of the above. I am current on ALL politics, I am not really lucky to say, but I am mindful of how I want my children raised, and lazy - that's just freakin' funny! My personal opinion is that a SAHM has one of the hardest careers there is. As a SAHM, you are responsible for the kids, the budget, the meals, the housework, the errands, the schedules, not to mention the home itself. In my family, we added the schooling, gardening, preserving the foods out of our garden, the livestock, and preparing foods from scratch so that our family remains healthy. Let me give you a little insight. The way I currently live, was NOT how I grew up. For the past 14 years, I have learned how to be "self-sufficient." I did not have live stock, I did not know how to preserve the foods we grow/raise, I went to public school, and I had everything I needed very close by. While I did have an amazing career prior to marriage and kids, I chose to let that career go because I wanted to be a Mom first and foremost. I wanted kids, and I didn't want a boss telling me when I could be a Mom. I don't have to ask for time off when a kid is sick, or when one of their friends wants to come over, and I don't have to worry about who's going to take them or pick them from whatever activity they have going on. In my eyes, ALL of these tasks are my job as their Mom. It was MY choice to have children, and it's MY responsibility to take care of them and make sure they are raised by my standards. Now, I am not going to say that working Moms aren't good moms. That's just not the case. Although there are Moms out there that do not care as much about their children.... a MAJORITY of Moms do care, and do the best they can with what they have to work with. I will NOT say that they are any less important than us SAHM's. That is just a subject that I am not familiar so I can not say much about it. I applaud those Moms that do work full-time and are still able to be in their kid's lives full-time. I don't know how you do it...but you do! I can only speak about what I am familiar with and that is being a SAHM and being under constant scrutiny for what we do.
Since I am not the Creator or God, it is NOT my job to judge ANYONE for their choices! Maybe if a few more people would see things this way there would be less judging and more getting done! As with all 3 subjects today, it is not our job to JUDGE anyone. Whether it be the life they choose to live, they path they choose to follow, the God they choose to worship, the sexuality they choose, or the choices they make. The last I knew the only true judge is the one that forgave his disciples of their sins, and died on a cross to forgive his people of their sins.
Salli
I am a person who will go to bat every single time that something I firmly believe in is questioned. I will also point out differing opinions to people when they are argueing about a subject just to try to get people to look at both sides. So, my rant today.....politics, religion, and SAHM's (stay-at-home-moms, for those unfamiliar with the abbrivation.). I'm sure it will strike a nerve with many, and that's fine...but this is my opinion, and my blog. If you don't agree, or it pisses you off...quit reading!
Politics- Yep, one of those subjects that fires everyone up. Whether you are Democratic, Republican, or Independent. Me personally...I'm not sure what I am other than an American. A person that will vote on the person, not the party. Someone who will look past the typical lies of a politician to see what COULD happen with the candidate. I have voted both Dem and Rep. The 2 main parties have become one in the same. The politicians are all liars. They play the game of telling you all what you want to hear, and apparently many need to go back to civics class, because it takes ALL 3 branches of government to make things happen. Our President is only allowed certain freedoms, he has to get the approval of the House and Senate to make most things law, our House and Senate can only do so much without the approval of the President, and when both of those branches mess up...then it goes to the 3rd branch, the Judicial Branch(e.i. The Supreme Court). Now, I understand that there are certain citizens that would love to place the blame of everything that goes wrong on the President. I would love to point out though, that it's just not reality to do so. Our President is very limited on what he's actually able to do. We have had basically 16 years, since I started voting, of Democrat and Republican leaders. Although I was still young when I voted for Bill Clinton, I was aware of what was going on when I voted for George W. Bush, and when I voted in 2008, I voted for the Libertarians. Although I have already based my primary vote on one candidate, he is not a typical leader from either party. I was able to research his track record. I was able to see how he has voted, and if he was a man of his word or just another puppet. It really irritates me when people just vote how they are told to vote. Whether it be the unions, their friends, or the pathetic "my vote won't count anyway." Come on people! Get your heads out of the sand! Look, and I mean REALLy look, at the candidates. Do your own research, and quit listening to a bunch of talking heads. That is what has gotten us in the mess we are in. Not the political parties. We allow Wall street to control how much our commodities are going to be, we allow other nations to decide if we are going to a war or not, we allow our own boarders to be vulnerable while our service members are spread so thin throughout the world, and we allow our well paying jobs to go overseas because we are too cheap to buy only American made goods! Get this through your heads.... Our current economy is in shambles not only because of our educated idiot politicians, but also because of US!
I can remember as a young person, living in a small town. That small town was booming. Everyone knew everyone, our children were safe to play as long as we were home before the porch lights came on, we didn't live on fast food, and when we went to school...we were safe! Our parents all had decent jobs, most of the toys we played with did NOT say, "Made in China," and we were expected to help our neighbors and friends! We had respect for our elders, we had respect for our teachers, and if we didn't....well, that was when we got spanked! We would have never dreamed of turning our parents in for abuse. We knew when we did something wrong we would get in trouble, we would get spanked, and probably grounded, and we expected it! All these damned talking heads have infiltrated our lives with pathetic laws that take most rights away from parents, have put teachers in danger every single day, and the younger generations have ZERO respect for their elders. This is our own faults, folks! So many people today think that it's the governments job to take care of them, and to they have come to expect it. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. It's not the governments job to bail you out when you can't budget, over spend, can't manage money, or refuse to work a job making less than you think you deserve. The government itself screws up everything it touches, everyone can surely see that. If not then you really need glasses!
Religion - Oh boy, another hot button for me. I think if I read/hear one more person claim to be a Christian, yet be so judgmental of others, I am going to blow a gasket! I honestly do not believe that anyone on Earth is an expert on the Bible, but here's my opinion of what I do understand! According to the Bible, all of Jesus' disciples were chosen. They were NOT perfect. Each of them were either hard working business owners, alcoholics, adulterers, or dirt poor. Jesus did not judge them. He did not tell them they were less faithful just because of their past discrestions. He took them under his wing, he guided them, he helped the ones he could and then he died on that cross to forgive us our sins. I see and hear so many talking about social issues not being Christian or going against the Bible. Here is my opinion. MIND YOUR OWN DAMNED BUSINESS! It is the modern Christian Churches that have decided that your not Christian if you don't go to a church, if you're gay, if you have a right to decide to have a child or not, if one religion or another is right or wrong. Quite frankly, if you really wanted to follow the Bible's teachings, there was only ONE religion....Jewish. It was Jewish people that were the disciples, it was Jewish people who walked with Jesus. Every single one of these other religions were formed when someone didn't agree with the teachings of the Jewish people. It is my opinion that the Bible, although many read it as it's a book, is simple many different passages put together. Similar to a journal. Either way, the God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit I believe and have a strong faith in, is a loving God, and savior. Jesus died on that cross for the sins of his people. Not just this sins of those supposedly to be followers, but ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. So, to me that would mean that even those who choose a life different from what I would choose, are saved becaused he loved every single one of us. Do you believe you are not sinners? HA! If you really wanted to be technical, we all sin on a regular basis. We celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ, yet we go out and break our budgets to buy a bunch of gifts that typically are broke or not wanted/needed, we celebrate Easter as the Resurection of Christ...yet the festivities that we have incorporated into Easter are a Pagen tradition to worship the God of War, Sex, birth and Sun. That's where the Easter Bunny, easter eggs come in. It has NOTHING to do with the actual Resurrection of Christ. I don't know anyone that actually goes out cooks a lamp on a fire, spread the blood of that lamb above their door, and eats that lamb as if starving at a certain time. That is the way the Resurrection of Christ is supposed to be celebrated! So, the next time you decide to write/speak/ or post something that is supposedly NOT Christian...think twice. You do not need to sit in a building full of hypocrits to have faith in God. You can pray, read the Bible - anywhere you choose. Faith comes from your soul, not what you are wearing, what church you attend, what "religion" you are, or what material items you have. Quite honestly, finding my own personal heritage, has had me believing that my Native American anscetors are the most sane of anyone on Earth! I look forward to learning more about such a large piece of my background, and hope that as I learn and grow with them that they will adopt me back into their tribes. There is so much craziness about with religion, that hearing from some of the original inhabitors of the Earth will be refreshing!
SAHMS - For those unaware of this abbriviation, it means Stay-At-Home-Moms. This is what most of our Grandmothers were for my generation. They were the "Home Makers." They ran the family, budget, and made their houses into homes. They worked hard, they just did it without pay, and without recognition. As many of my generation is finding out, being a SAHM is both rewarding and irritating. We are looked down upon, and treated as second rate citizens. If you are a SAHM, you are thought of as mindless, "lucky," or just plain lazy. Well, now.... I can tell you as a SAHM, I am none of the above. I am current on ALL politics, I am not really lucky to say, but I am mindful of how I want my children raised, and lazy - that's just freakin' funny! My personal opinion is that a SAHM has one of the hardest careers there is. As a SAHM, you are responsible for the kids, the budget, the meals, the housework, the errands, the schedules, not to mention the home itself. In my family, we added the schooling, gardening, preserving the foods out of our garden, the livestock, and preparing foods from scratch so that our family remains healthy. Let me give you a little insight. The way I currently live, was NOT how I grew up. For the past 14 years, I have learned how to be "self-sufficient." I did not have live stock, I did not know how to preserve the foods we grow/raise, I went to public school, and I had everything I needed very close by. While I did have an amazing career prior to marriage and kids, I chose to let that career go because I wanted to be a Mom first and foremost. I wanted kids, and I didn't want a boss telling me when I could be a Mom. I don't have to ask for time off when a kid is sick, or when one of their friends wants to come over, and I don't have to worry about who's going to take them or pick them from whatever activity they have going on. In my eyes, ALL of these tasks are my job as their Mom. It was MY choice to have children, and it's MY responsibility to take care of them and make sure they are raised by my standards. Now, I am not going to say that working Moms aren't good moms. That's just not the case. Although there are Moms out there that do not care as much about their children.... a MAJORITY of Moms do care, and do the best they can with what they have to work with. I will NOT say that they are any less important than us SAHM's. That is just a subject that I am not familiar so I can not say much about it. I applaud those Moms that do work full-time and are still able to be in their kid's lives full-time. I don't know how you do it...but you do! I can only speak about what I am familiar with and that is being a SAHM and being under constant scrutiny for what we do.
Since I am not the Creator or God, it is NOT my job to judge ANYONE for their choices! Maybe if a few more people would see things this way there would be less judging and more getting done! As with all 3 subjects today, it is not our job to JUDGE anyone. Whether it be the life they choose to live, they path they choose to follow, the God they choose to worship, the sexuality they choose, or the choices they make. The last I knew the only true judge is the one that forgave his disciples of their sins, and died on a cross to forgive his people of their sins.
Salli
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Who am I?........
I've spoken to so many ladies lately that seem to be in the same boat that I am. We all became wives, then moms, and in the process we have lost our individual identities. Over the years, our interests change or they are forced to change. Many of us have found our self-esteem and self-confidence levels have all but been buried and we are no longer comfortable in our skin. We are constantly bombarded with images of what and who we should be; whether it's through the crap they are trying to sell us in stores and on television or even in the toys our children want(i.e. Barbie), or through "friends" and family that have told us what we should be.
As one of my favorite bloggers wrote: "stop this friggin roller coaster, I want off!" We all have our own perception of who we "should" be by the standards we are taught at home, in school and by our peers. Many of us, myself included, have fallen into the dreaded routine of being the person we are expected to be because of our circumstances and our past role models.
Although I have to wonder how many people will actually relate to this post, I know that I am personally guilty of many of these exact examples. I have thrown myself into being the supermom, devoted wife, life style. All the while, my individual personality has been lost. Lost to the degree that everything I enjoyed doing in life....I no longer do. I'm typically with my kids 24/7, I take care of the house(although it's usually a mess), I juggle bills, I deal with whatever issues come up, and have placed my own needs/wants behind everyone and everything else. My personal needs and wants are rarely ever even looked at beyond a passing glance when I am at my whits end. Because we home school, my own desires and the passion I have for certain areas of interest are very limited.
While visiting with these friends over the last several months, I'm finding that my age group seems to be having the hardest time keeping their identities and many of us are on the same page of home school, keep our family healthy using natural methods, most of the ladies are stay-at-home-moms and the spouses work long hours. Some of these ladies have strained relationships because they are always doing family things, and not taking time for themselves.
If I've learned anything for all the reading I do, it's this: when you don't take time for you as an individual - whether it be to de-stress, work on yourself as a person, work on keeping your relationship fresh, etc., you become a time bomb just ticking toward destruction. Something so minimal could prove to be the straw that broke the camels back. Losing yourself to a relationship, to being a full-time mom, or any number of other reasons we lose the person we are....it takes its toll on you as a person.
Take time everyday to re-find the amazing person you are - away from being a mom and a wife!
As one of my favorite bloggers wrote: "stop this friggin roller coaster, I want off!" We all have our own perception of who we "should" be by the standards we are taught at home, in school and by our peers. Many of us, myself included, have fallen into the dreaded routine of being the person we are expected to be because of our circumstances and our past role models.
Although I have to wonder how many people will actually relate to this post, I know that I am personally guilty of many of these exact examples. I have thrown myself into being the supermom, devoted wife, life style. All the while, my individual personality has been lost. Lost to the degree that everything I enjoyed doing in life....I no longer do. I'm typically with my kids 24/7, I take care of the house(although it's usually a mess), I juggle bills, I deal with whatever issues come up, and have placed my own needs/wants behind everyone and everything else. My personal needs and wants are rarely ever even looked at beyond a passing glance when I am at my whits end. Because we home school, my own desires and the passion I have for certain areas of interest are very limited.
While visiting with these friends over the last several months, I'm finding that my age group seems to be having the hardest time keeping their identities and many of us are on the same page of home school, keep our family healthy using natural methods, most of the ladies are stay-at-home-moms and the spouses work long hours. Some of these ladies have strained relationships because they are always doing family things, and not taking time for themselves.
If I've learned anything for all the reading I do, it's this: when you don't take time for you as an individual - whether it be to de-stress, work on yourself as a person, work on keeping your relationship fresh, etc., you become a time bomb just ticking toward destruction. Something so minimal could prove to be the straw that broke the camels back. Losing yourself to a relationship, to being a full-time mom, or any number of other reasons we lose the person we are....it takes its toll on you as a person.
Take time everyday to re-find the amazing person you are - away from being a mom and a wife!
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