Who am I?........

I've spoken to so many ladies lately that seem to be in the same boat that I am.  We all became wives, then moms, and in the process we have lost our individual identities.  Over the years, our interests change or they are forced to change.  Many of us have found our self-esteem and self-confidence levels have all but been buried and we are no longer comfortable in our skin.  We are constantly bombarded with images of what and who we should be; whether it's through the crap they are trying to sell us in stores and on television or even in the toys our children want(i.e. Barbie), or through "friends" and family that have told us what we should be.

As one of my favorite bloggers wrote: "stop this friggin roller coaster, I want off!"  We all have our own perception of who we "should" be by the standards we are taught at home, in school and by our peers.  Many of us, myself included, have fallen into the dreaded routine of being the person we are expected to be because of our circumstances and our past role models. 

Although I have to wonder how many people will actually relate to this post, I know that I am personally guilty of many of these exact examples.  I have thrown myself into being the supermom, devoted wife, life style.  All the while, my individual personality has been lost.  Lost to the degree that everything I enjoyed doing in life....I no longer do.  I'm typically with my kids 24/7, I take care of the house(although it's usually a mess), I juggle bills, I deal with whatever issues come up, and have placed my own needs/wants behind everyone and everything else.  My personal needs and wants are rarely ever even looked at beyond a passing glance when I am at my whits end.  Because we home school, my own desires and the passion I have for certain areas of interest are very limited. 

While visiting with these friends over the last several months, I'm finding that my age group seems to be having the hardest time keeping their identities and many of us are on the same page of home school, keep our family healthy using natural methods, most of the ladies are stay-at-home-moms and the spouses work long hours.  Some of these ladies have strained relationships because they are always doing family things, and not taking time for themselves. 

If I've learned anything for all the reading I do, it's this:  when you don't take time for you as an individual - whether it be to de-stress, work on yourself as a person, work on keeping your relationship fresh, etc., you become a time bomb just ticking toward destruction.  Something so minimal could prove to be the straw that broke the camels back.  Losing yourself to a relationship, to being a full-time mom, or any number of other reasons we lose the person we are....it takes its toll on you as a person.

Take time everyday to re-find the amazing person you are - away from being a mom and a wife!