New Year - Goals without reflection is like going skiing without skis.

The start of a new year always give me a pause to reflect on the prior year. Whether there were an abundance of bad times, or good. A time to reflect on goals, finances, relationships, or whatever has happened in our lives.

This for me, has become an annual tradition. Not just of brief reflection, but continuing to reflect throughout the year. For about 2 years I have been redefining where I want to go with life. I am constantly looking at relationships around me, finances, my personal goals, the person I have become, the person I want to be, and what I want out of life itself. For me, reflecting allows me to face past hurts, relationships that didn't bloom or ones that have died off. It allows me to look realistically at everything.

So, for this post, I will tell you a little about how I reflect, how I set goals and a few tips I have learned from facing the past that isn't always a pretty memory!

As I said, this journey began about 2 years ago. It was actually started about 7 years ago, but I didn't really realize it until 2 years ago. I was faced with a situation that caused me to not only open my eyes but also to be old enough to face the facts and deal with them. It was 7 years ago that my reality began to change, my personality was challenged, my whole life - or life as I thought I understood it, changed. Since then, there have been little and big issues that have caused me to reexamine my life, my morals, my standards, and my values. I can't help but be grateful to so many experiences in my life that have allowed me to know what I want, need, and also the things I don't!

I love my gardens and nature. My first thought is that to truly reflect, you must find a space that you can relax, breath, and think clearly. As I said, for me that space is in my gardens, walking in nature, riding my horses, or hiking. You must be able to think without interruption and without the input of those that are creating your stress.

Once you have found a place that allows you relaxation, then you need to examine you. I mean really examine...EVERYTHING. Even though many of us have pasts that we'd like to forget parts of, you have to be willing to face those past actions and be totally honest about them. Every single thing you have been through or are going through has shaped who you are, and is still shaping you today. Every single issue is an opportunity for you to grow, and learn from. You just have to be willing to accept whatever the issue, reflect on the lesson at hand, and then be willing to face it - however you need to face it. You have to be honest with yourself through every issue, both past and present. Face them, learn from them, and grow from them.

Now, you need to be willing to make a physical list of good and bad points of your life, both past and present. Make lists of who you want to be, where you want to go, and what you want from life. Of course, this task isn't always easy. I personally keep a journal that is off limits to everyone but me. This way I can be completely honest, without fear of interference from outside sources. Having a journal is one of the best way to reflect, be honest, and be able to reread your thoughts to see a pattern of thoughts too. Writing or typing thoughts, is really a release for your thoughts, and also a stress release when in trying times.

As you move further into your reflections, you will find it easier to put your thoughts in order. You will find that the more you reflect the easier it becomes to be completely honest with yourself too. In the beginning, it's hard to be honest with yourself, and truly be willing to admit to faults, and indescreations that you have dealt with. Being honest with yourself is one of the truly priceless gifts you can give yourself.

I try to recommend keeping a journal at all times, as writing your thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. is a great way to determine who you are as a person. My thought is: if you are constantly trying to be someone that someone else wants you to be, you will never be happy. You have to know how to be yourself, and be happy with yourself before you will ever be happy with anyone else. It is not up to someone else to make you happy, that falls squarely on your own shoulders.

As many of us that were born in the 70's get older, we are finding that what we want isn't whats considered normal by our parents generation let alone by the younger generations. Many of us have turned away from modern medicine and began focusing on natural/holistic medicine. We have transitioned from fast food and store bought, to growing our own gardens again. We raise our kids with discipline, with standards and values. Many of the women from my generation have careers, children, spouses, homes, and still make time for a life of our own. Some of us gave up careers to be full-time moms, and some chose career over children. There is no right or wrong, just personal preference.

As my generation gets older, I personally have found that what others think, is really no business of mine. My household looks at life a whole lot different than most, and since we are all in agreement in our house, outside opinion doesn't matter to us. That's not to say that remarks made don't have an impact but it does tend to drive a wedge in those relationships.

As you continue to reflect, it's important for you to know - without a doubt, what you need. As this is a very brief description, you have to know wants/needs of your own heart. These wants and needs must cover ever area of your life...and be completely honest with yourself!!!

As we get closer to a new year, I encourage reflection. Not only will this give you a starting point for becoming a happier you, it gives you an opportunity to set achievable goals for the coming year...instead of resolutions that will be thrown by the roadside before the end of January.

Setting achievable goals is not only important in careers, but in life too. Setting goals, allows you something to work towards. Setting short-term, long-term goals helps you to not only work towards something, but to manage stress, manage finances, deal with relationship issues, and so much more. When you pair reflection with goal setting, you can move forward in your life a much happier and more grounded person. My next post will be on goals. Setting goals without reflection, to me, is like going skiing without the ski's.

I hope this post will help others, as my own experience with reflection, has allowed me to see life much clearer and to know exactly what I want out of life.

Until next time....
~Sal~

Reflection and Chaos!

It's that time of year when everyone has plans, there are Christmas parties every where, and we wind down another year.

For me, it's a bittersweet time of year. This is the time of year, I really reflect back on the year and take inventory, so to speak, on everything that has happened. Our normal holiday plans are quite a bit different this year, which also means our schedules are thrown out the door. There is no way of keeping anything normal for the next week.

My husband's brother and his family have come to Missouri for Christmas this year. That usually means a lot more activities thrown into an already chaotic schedule. This year, my husband decided to take vacation time during his brothers visit.

My year has been crazy at best. In the path of discovering a person within that I am happy with, I found many road bumps and a whole lot of discouragement. Not for finding myself, for the the person I found who has a very non-typical way of thinking. I found myself in the chaos of learning how to care for livestock, poultry, pigs, and horses. I have had to learn how to juggle everything that goes on in our daily lives, and still have time to cook 3 meals a day, and sleep some. I have learned that many people believe that a Mom that stays home everyday, has nothing but time. Which is far from the truth. I have also learned that time is fleeing. This year I lost my paternal grandfather, and that hit me harder than anyone will ever know. I have watched those that I love deal with issues, I have also found myself pushed further away from my own family. I have learned that even though family is blood, the best friends in the world, are the ones who are always there. They never judge, and always have time to talk.

This year, for me, has been one of many eye openers. You find out very quickly who respects you and who does not. I for one, have found that because we think outside the proverbial box, we are the weird ones. I guess being herded like the cows is normal?! I have also found that no matter how crazy or bad life gets, there's always someone there willing to help. Someone who will not belittle you for your thoughts, but instead will offer a hand up and a shoulder to cry on. It's those there in your worst times, that you learn to not only value and respect, but those are the ones that you love the most.

I will be 38 years old in less than a week. Over the course of those 38 years, I have seen so much. I have moved around, seen both side of the coin of life, and walked away from so many things without knowing why. I have lost many role models in my life pass on, and even some great friends. I've made some huge mistakes and some decisions lead to a more positive and productive life. I have cut people out of my life by choice, while some have just quietly faded away. Yet, there are some that have became such a tremendous part of my life, that weren't before. I've learned who I can trust, who is only in my life when it's convenient for them, and who doesn't want to be in my life at all. Some it broke my heart to watch them slowly fade out, some left and didn't really faze me, and some I have just accepted that although they were in my life - I was never really in theirs. I have been gradually accepting all of this. While some of these things have really hurt, and some have made me mad, all of this was something I had to learn from.

I am a difficult person, I am completely aware of that, but if you can not accept me for who I am, all my faults, and for who I have become; then you don't deserve to be in my life for the good times either. I am the one who handles everything at our home. I am the one who juggles the kids, their school work, my business, the meals, the laundry, the housework, the bills, the everyday life....it's my life. It's not perfect, and neither am I. However, each and every day I do my absolute best to keep everything moving as smoothly as possible. My days are busy from 6 am to well after midnight daily. Do not judge something or someone you know nothing about. And do not try to include yourself into something that you haven't bothered to be apart of, except when it's convenient for you.

Anyone that truly knows me, knows that my children are my world. Although there are days that we drive each other crazy, I wouldn't trade them or the time I get to spend with them for anything! Absolutely every decision I make, is made with their best interest in mind. It may not be what others would do, but these are my kids. I know their personalities, I know their quirks, I know how they operate. I do not teach my kids to blindly follow what they are told. I teach them to question everything. I teach them to speak up for themselves and what they feel is right. I teach them to respect their thoughts and the those who respect them. I do not teach them by drilling thoughts, figures, and statistics into their heads. I teach them to love to learn by questioning everything. Anything that comes up is researched, discussed, and they can draw their own conclusions. 90% of the conversations in our home, include our kids. They are included in talks about finances, time scheduling, and even everyday operations. We spend a lot of time with hands-on learning. Our entire lives, as adults, are not spent with just a single group of people. So, there is no reason we should limit children's abilities and growth to that either.

Even as everyday life is about to be turned upside in the coming days, it is my job, as their Mom, to try to keep some form of normalcy in their lives. Even with the excitement of Christmas in our home, there is dread as I am the one who has to deal with their schedules being tossed out the window. I can only hope that my kids don't end up sick or so overly tired that it takes a month to recover.

I hope that each of you can have a beautiful Christmas with your family. This year, I am just ready for it to be over. As our family winds down yet another year, I hope to reflect more, and maybe be able to find some answers and regain a resemblance of level ground. Maybe find a way to manage my stress a little better, and learn to deal with disappointments a whole lot better. There isn't anything better than finding peace during chaos. I will find my peace again.

Wishing you peace and happiness in 2013 and beyond.

This crazy life...

Life in all its craziness and splendor, contains lessons that many of us miss.

As a child, we struggle to identify ourselves. We do what we are told, are taught what to think, what is appropriate and some are taught respect. Then as we grow up, and face real life...we find that the majority of what we were told really has no bearing on real life. We are thrown into a world that is harsh, unfair, cruel, and even hurtful. We are spoon fed information from media outlets, political leaders, and even family. Yet, we are completely unprepared when something goes wrong. We take example from our peers, of this time, and find someone to point fingers at, instead of taking responsibility for our lives.

As a child of the last baby boomer generation, I have seen so much. My generation of children was brought up with more "stuff" than we needed, a school system that was beginning to change from actually learning to being told what to think, believing that bigger is better and keeping up with the "Jones'" was normal. In my generation, I have seen the constant building of storage units to house all the "stuff" there isn't room for in the house. I have seen the shift in mentality about hard work being the key to the American dream, instead it has become a deal of every one thinks they are owed something. Neighborhoods went from communities where everyone watched each others kids, to not knowing who your neighbors were. When bullies weren't protected, they were punished. When children had respect for their family, instead of complete disregard. When it was encouraged to play outdoors with other children, instead of sitting in front of a television or video game. When hero's were our parents and the military members. When you knew if you misbehaved, you would be spanked or grounded.

I can remember being one of the first houses in our neighborhood to have a microwave or VCR or Atari. We thought we were something special! Now, children believe they are owed everything, and won't do much without payment of some sort. There is no such thing as just doing something to help a neighbor or family member. I can remember going to one set of my grandparents home, and being envious. They didn't live in the greatest or most modern home. It was always so full of love. When you walked into their home, it was warm and inviting. They always took in the strays, those who didn't have anywhere else to go. Those strays were just added to the family. Grandma was always full of valuable, real-life advice. She was always the one that would give you hug just because she thought you needed one. She was a lady that raised children, worked on the farm, gardened, and had a heart so big that she had enough love for everyone and everything. She based her life on caring for her family, feeding her soul, and caring for even the smallest little creatures. She was an amazing woman. I can only hope to be showing that much love to everyone in our lives.

As I have gotten older, I am finding my thoughts and the direction I want our lives to go, to be going back to that of my grandparents instead of my parents. I want my children to understand the value of hard work, to understand that they are not owed anything, I don't want them being envious of what others have but instead be willing to work hard to achieve the same, I want them to understand the pride that goes into being part of a community, helping others even when they can never return the favor. I want them to understand that you don't need a bunch of "stuff," to be happy. Knowing that the greatest gifts we receive are the gifts you can't buy at a store. I want them to know that it's ok to think for themselves and not just be told what to think. I want the kids growing up with old fashioned values, and morals.

While we do try to live our lives simply, on occasion, the outside world is brought into our world. While I think those times are valuable learning experiences, we notice the change in each other when too many of those times come too close together. We don't shelter our kids, but we do look at life differently than most! We put our family first. We don't live to work. We work to live. Our family talks about everything...as a family. We share experiences, thoughts, and opinions. Even our 3 year old is allowed to voice opinions. We do not degrade or down-play their thoughts or opinions. Although we may not always agree with their thoughts, they are respected. Our kids have learned that it's ok to cry, to share emotions, and that there is no such thing as gender specifics. Our son has tea parties with his sister, has learned to cook, and is learning to sew. Our daughter plays with farm toys, helps with the farm chores, and isn't afraid of being dirty. By teaching our kids at home, we are able to show them the importance of learning instead of forcing them to learn. We are instilling the love of learning. Every single day there is so much to learn from so many different sources.

As we celebrate Christmas in our home, we look forward to starting a new year. I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Years.
~S~

Slow down and enjoy the scenery!

Life seems to be speeding by at a break-neck speed! Just showing up for life isn't enough. You have to be actually present to enjoy it, learn from it, and truly live it.

Let me start with a little story. Our 12 yr. old has decided he wants to raise pigs. Not just any pigs mind you, Berkshire pigs to be exact. Now, trying to find a full blood Berkshire has been a constant hunt for about 4 months. Finally, we found one. So, this morning was the day to go look at the pig, and see if it was what he wanted.

After a busy weekend, I wanted nothing more than to sit around the house, and veg out all day! I attempted to come up with every possible excuse not to go. Much to my own frustration, there were no excuses not to go! So, we loaded into the truck to begin the 20 minute drive to where the pig was at. The trip wasn't too bad, we ended up seeing some beautiful scenery on the trip up. We looked at the pig, and it was exactly what he was looking for. The drive home was what really changed my outlook today. My husband decided to take the back roads. We cut through a gravel road, and saw some of the most beautiful sights I had seen for awhile. Old barns, old farm houses, cows and horses littering the fields, newer homes built to replace the older homesteads. It was such an eye opener this morning.

The past week has been very hectic for me. I spent the week baking cookies, making candies, and cleaning the house to get ready for our first Christmas Open House. Then came the horrific news of the school shooting in CT and the constant news, imagines and political responses to it. I cried while watching the initial reports, and my heart broke, as a parent, for all the parents. However, I refuse to continue to watch news reports, or even read all the posts on FaceBook. The problem is more news coverage, and more good intentioned people trying to save everything and everyone. They are more worried about everyone and everything else than they are about themselves. I don't mean to sound heartless, but enough is enough. I personally have a family, and home to worry about first and foremost.

Once I turned off the news, I got our home ready for our Christmas Open House, and the family, friends, and neighbors that were to be coming to our home to celebrate such a beautiful holiday. After a great evening with a house full of great people, I have began the hectic schedule of holiday parties in other locations, Christmas with our local families, and the arrival of my husbands brother and his family.

Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in stuff that we forget what's truly important. I am no different. We worry about keeping the house clean, keeping up with jobs and farms, and focusing on gifts bought at stores. What we neglect to realize is that the most important things in our lives, aren't things at all. They are the people in our lives. Our spouses, children, parents, siblings, and other extended family. Spreading cheer to those in our communities, and helping those in need.

I think we spend too much time trying save everything from trees, to animals, to limiting what's seen on television, and who's allowed to do whatever, or even punishing those who have more than we do. Rather than be envious of what's others have, why not be happy with what we do have and focus on making ourselves better?! I don't have much money or material items, but our home contains so much love for each other that we honestly have everything we need. It's not to say that we wouldn't love to have more, but why and for what purpose? It's more clutter, more head aches, and honestly why would anyone try to compete with each other?

Since the spirit of Christmas has consumed my heart even more than usual this year, I can only hope that others will find the spirit to carry through not only the season, but through out the year too.

Be grateful for those in your life, for the "stuff" you have, and don't be afraid of hard work to better yourself. Don't try to save everything, instead focus on you. What others do, is none of your business...unless it DIRECTLY effects you.
~S~

My heart breaks

"My heart breaks when my family is hurt by others actions!"


It's hard enough to see the hurt on a child's face and in their eyes when something happens that you, can not understand. Especially when that child is wanting to know an explanation. It's hard to explain how family members can treat each other in that manner. Then you have the pain of heart break when it happens to an adult in your family too. When the adult is hurting, and trying not to show it, you see and feel a whole other emotion. It begins as hurt for them, and turns to anger for the others involved.

Having family, to me, means that you love, respect, and cherish the relationships you have with them. If you don't have a relationship with them, look in the mirror to see if your actions have caused the problem.

As we gear up for what's proving to be an interesting season, I am learning real quick how little family truly means to some. I have dealt with the explanations of issues that I don't fully understand, and I am dealing with the hurt both my husband and I are faced with.

It's hard to understand how family can be so hurtful to each other, but we also know, that our little family is close and close ties will never be broken. Those that choose to be included in our lives, will always have our loyalty, love and respect. Those that choose convenience will still hold a place in our hearts, but not a priority.

In our lives, maturity, responsibility, respect and love goes a long way! We treat others the way we are treated. I can only hope that someday others will learn and value family the way that we have.
~S~

Respect? Where?

Have you noticed the latest trend of disrespect? Whether you are out dealing with the public or at home, the amount of disrespect is increasing at an alarming rate! Even among family members, there seems to be a disturbing lack of respect, and it's so many different families being affected.

Children have zero respect for their elders, and where do you think this comes from? I personally believe it is a multi-layered problem. As parents, we aren't allowed to discipline children anymore. I believe this is the core problem. Kids today know that if they are misbehaving, they will not get paddled...as the schools and child know-it-all doctors have decided that spanking children is not only abuse, but will crush their "identities." Yeah, ok! Another issue is that these disrespectful children typically come from disrespectful parents. Parents, who also deserve to have a good paddling! Having seen this aspect first hand, it really angers me to see and hear how children treat others. To this day, I would never intentionally disrespect my elders...and I wasn't ever paddle...but was taught right from wrong!

Adults are a whole other issue! As we get older, it is assumed that we mature, understand being respectful, understand responsibilities, and common courtesies. Do people even understand these three aspects at all anymore? I am beginning to think not. Just one example, have you been to a Wal-Mart lately? People are rude, ignorant, pushy, lacking a respect for they way they look, and then they either don't have the money to pay for they items they are purchasing, or they pull out their food stamp card and their iPhone at the same time. Now, before I get maimed for being critical of government assistance, I have no problem with those getting a hand up after being knocked down. The problem I have comes in when the government assistance becomes a way of life, and is a hand out! So, back to Wal-Mart. My last trip there was no exception! A lady walking around without a bra, wearing spandex pants that were about 5 sizes too small, then she gets to the register with a cart full of groceries and misc. stuff...only to have a $300+ total and only about $120 cash. So, being that it was Wal-Mart and there were only 5 registers open, we were stuck waiting for this lady to weed out over $200 worth of items. After waiting 20 minutes, she finally checked out...only to find out the person with the cart full right behind her, in front of us, was with her too. Another cart load, of all groceries. This cart load was also $300+. This one went a little smoother with only about $20 to eliminate and out came the food stamp card, iPhone, key ring to a newer vehicle(it had the alarm, door lock/unlock, and wireless remote starter). To say I was mad, was an understatement. We do not use government assistance for anything! We drive a 1991 vehicle that you have to manually start, lock and unlock. There are times we have to postpone a bill so we can buy groceries, or only buy a few groceries so we can pay a bill...it's called RESPONSIBILITY!

To me, holding a door for someone coming in right behind me, helping pick something up when some drops something, helping any way possible is a common courtesy. It becomes disrespectful when any of these issues is ignored. When you see someone trying to reach something on a shelf that is obviously out of reach, you help! If someone drops something, you don't step over them and keep going. Too many people have become too rushed and disrespectful to pay attention to anything besides themselves.

The world has become I want it now, and I it doesn't matter who I have to step on to get it! It wasn't that many years ago, that life was different. People used the government as a hand up, respect was shown, maturity actually happened, people took their responsibilities seriously, and common courtesies were a normal way of life. I am not that old, but the changes I have seen in the 20 years I have been out of school are really scary! They aren't good changes!

As our family has ventured in our own homestead, we are considered the weird/not-normal people. That itself makes me laugh! We decided many years ago to stay with the values of the past. We teach our children respect, we actually teach our children, we grow/raise most of our own foods, we believe in family first, and understand that the bygone years actually held the best lives, with a lot less material stuff. We have little debt in terms of the national average, and don't spend excessively. We only buy what we absolutely need, and believe that most technology is a waste of time. Now, we aren't cut off, so to speak. We do have cable, internet, and cell phones but we don't do video games, we don't have to purchase all the latest tech stuff, and we still believe that sitting down for meals at the table as a family are the most important times of our days.

I am extremely saddened by so many stories that I hear. Families that scream and yell at each other, are conniving and cruel to each other, and those that feel the need to lie to each other. I know it's my own past that has brought me to this stage in my life. I believe that through good and bad, families stick together. We may not always agree but we never criticize or throw another family member under the bus. We stand tall in the face of adversity, and we do so as a united front. We talk, disagree and even argue respectfully with each other. We never degrade each other for our beliefs, and encourage each other whenever possible!

I guess today was my day to vent. During the days of my grandparents, seem to be more and more appealing to me. Moms were really moms, dads were the bread winners, children were respectful, and neighbors helped neighbors. Thankfully, I may not be able to change the world, but I can change my family, and inspire others to change theirs!

~Salli~

Holiday Financials pt 3 - Gifts

Are you the type of person who loves to give? Maybe you feel more obligated to give because others give to you, or maybe you feel you have to buy a gift for every single family member?!

Let me tell you from the "been there, done that," perspective...that gets expensive - QUICK! Whether your priorities change, your family grows, or any number of life altering events...buying for everyone is not only expensive, but unnecessary. You stretch your budget or max out credit cards, and for what? Why on Earth would you want to be still paying for this years Christmas gifts in July of next year? Most of us get what we want or need, when we want/need it. So, why not purchase gifts for your family only and give gifts to others that are made from your heart?

Homemade gifts were the way of life many years ago, and only in the past 30 years or so has gift giving become so commercial. So, instead of blowing your budget and credit clear out of the water...MAKE SOMETHING!

Making homemade cookies and candies are always a great treat. These gifts are great for extended family, neighbors, teachers, co-workers, postal carriers, and paper carriers. Make a beautiful plate of cookies and/or candies.

Homemade facial or foot scrubs are simple and easy but a wonderful gift to receive. Most are made of epsom salts(about $1 a bag at Wal-Mart), or sugars. These can be scented with essential oils, fresh herbs, citrus peels, or a simple mix of sugars.

Gifts in a jar were real popular a few years back. Whether it's soup mixes or cookie mixes, these are still an amazing gift.

There are so many options for simple, inexpensive gifts and ideas online. Pinterst is the newest form of "all things creative!" For those of us able to create, just not creative enough to think of everything...this has been a great tool!

Always remember that giving a gift from your heart will always mean more!

~Salli~

Holiday Financials pt 2

Save your precious money through the holiday seasons with planning! Planning your baking, and meal menu will save your grocery budget.


As someone who has done this off and on, for many years...you will be amazed by how much this saves. I always encourage people to find their favorite recipes, a few new ones, and some quick "I don't feel like cooking" recipes too. For our household, our game plan: On a sheet a paper, I number each line to represent the number of days in the month. Then I go through recipes, meals that are tried and true, a few quick meal ideas, breakfast and lunch ideas, and even snacks/baking ideas. My paper ends up looking like a mess, but when I type up the final copy, it all makes sense. My page set up:
Meal # column(date) Breakfast Lunch Supper Snack
(EXAMPLE)
Dec. 1 Ceral - Left over from supper - pork chops, potatoes - peanut butter cake

Dec. 2 pancakes - pork chops - fried chicken, baked potatoes - left over snacks

Dec. 3 scrambled eggs - chicken salad - sloppy joes/tator tots - cookies

Dec. 4 muffins - taco salad with meat from last night-hot dogs/chips- left overs


As you can see, we use left overs from supper to cover the next days lunches, snacks made up every other day or two gives me a break from constant cooking, and quick meals mean less time to prepare/cook and less time I am in the kitchen.

Menu planning works well, so you can make a grocery list ahead of time. This save several trips to the store and will keep you from buying items you really don't need every trip. Using the example above for a grocery list:

ceral, pork chops, potatoes, peanut butter, flour, sugar, milk, pancake mix, chicken, eggs, mayo, bread, hamburger, buns, tator tots, manwhich, chocolate chips, cinnamon, vanilla, baking soda, baking powder, salt, muffin mixes, lettuce, tomato, shredded cheese, hot sauce, hot dogs, chips.

The key is to look at each recipe. Decide what you will need to fix each meal, each snack, etc. Make a list. I keep lists going monthly that I add to as I run out of something. I section mine off: Food, Supplies, Animals. That way I can keep track pretty easily.

When you go to the store, you will be better prepared to only purchase what is on your list. When I budget for groceries, I figure $100 per person, per month for food/supplies.

Now, looking to supplies. This is an area a little more tricky for me. We have pets, and I make most of my own soaps and cleaners. So, my list looks like this:

fels-naptha, washing soda, borax, dish soap, shampoo, body soap, vinegar, baking soda, epsom salts, razors, toliet paper, paper towels, cat litter, dog & cat treats, fish food, pullups, wipes, notebooks, sponges, deodorant, toothpaste, tooth brushes, vitamins, foil, wax paper, plastic wrap.

I also buy what I can in bulk. I always figure the cost per ounce on items for this. I buy flour, sugar, baking soda, epsom salts, and spices in bulk form. In my area, it is so much cheaper to purchase in bulk, and I can get my raw/organic products for less than the other stuff. Initially, learning quirky ways to save, and plan will be work. Once you get the hang of it though, it becomes not only frugal, but fun for the whole family to get involved. Since we are notorious label readers, and we home school, our grocery shopping trips become a huge learning experience for both kids. Not only do we read labels, the oldest keeps a running total of products(grocery math), the youngest is learning frugality early, and my husband and I have to set examples for the kids, by not splurging and following the list.

We are very fortunate to live in an area highly concentrated with Mennonite and Amish families. Each of them offer different stores that allow us to purchase the way they do. So, even if you do not have this convienence, still look into small/local owned groceries, and even consider places like Dollar General for a few items. Although many believe the mom and pop places charge more, check them out any way! Remember that money spent at these mom and pop places are supporting those families....not corporations!

There is a quick thought for your grocery budget!
~Salli~

Beliefs, Loyalty, Limits? What do YOU stand for?

What do you believe in? Where do your loyalties lie? Do you know what your limits are?

As someone who is constantly analyzing everything, these are questions that I consider every single day. Honestly, it doesn't matter what the subject matter is. I am constantly questioning everything I do, feel, think I know, and even people I know. It's a form of micro-managing, I guess. It's the easiest way for me to handle everything thrown at me. As someone who loves family, I don't really fit in with any one of them completely. I am essentially a "black sheep." I have my own way of thinking, doing, and living. I am strong enough to take what others say with a "grain of salt," usually.

I try to make time every day to evaluate the person I have become. There are several areas that I am not happy with, even though I accept them. Many times I question the person I am, because of the way I am treated by others. I have every reason to be hard, cold, uncaring, and hateful. However, I have never stayed that way...even though I have my moments. I have chosen to go to the other direction, almost to a fault. I try very hard to always be nice to people, always consider others feelings, always give people the benefit of the doubt, and strive to stay positive.

My belief is to treat others the way you wish to be treated. This doesn't always mean you will be, but you will know that you did your best. I believe to have a good friend you must be one, to have a good neighbor you must be one, to have a meaningful relationship you must be willing to give that too. I am a firm believer in doing everything as naturally as possible. I don't believe there is ever enough education or learning opportunities. I believe there is always more to every story, and that the story is only part of the equation. I believe in being prepared, no matter what the circumstances. I believe that you must love yourself in order to love others. Not conceitedly mind you, but respectfully. Understanding and accepting who you are, and loving yourself despite your flaws.

I accept that I will never be perfect while on this Earth, and that there will be some that will criticize my flaws to hide their own. I know that my personally views, thoughts and ideas will offend people. I accepted long ago that some people you can't please no matter what you do. I also have accepted that I am different. Is it wrong to be different? Who knows! I do know that my beliefs will not be changed just because someone doesn't like them. My views have been known to change as I research and educate myself. I do not blindly follow what the masses say/do. Which to most will be obvious! I am very aware of my flaws, and for many years, I hid behind them. To the extent of ruining some great relationships. As I have matured, umm gotten older, I continue to grow and learn. I also continue to accept that some people don't mature. Some cling to their circumstances as a way of having a crutch or scape goat. I know for me, there were many circumstances that could have caused me to follow a different path. There have been many times/issues that could have caused me to use those issues as a crutch to never grow, change, or accept those things that I can not control. I do not judge people. I know that every one has their own battles, whether they are self-inflicted or not...they are just as important to them, as mine are to me. However, I do feel that if more people were willing to use their circumstances to improve themselves, the world would be in much better shape. My theory is: "To each their own!" What others choose to do with their lives is not my problem, unless their decisions harm me or my family.

I have some amazing friends, and family. I am, and always have been, their venting post. To some degree, I don't know if that's a good thing since my opinions/beliefs are so much different. Many times, their issues take ahold of my heart, and all I want to do is ease their pain. I don't like to see anyone struggling so much that their health is affected, or even their mental health. Whether they are struggling financially(As so many are), in their relationships, with their children, or just have a day of negativity, it affects me. There have been many times I have had issues of my own and those that I am always there for, are no where to be found or don't have the time to just listen to me. I do get upset, but I would never tell them how much that hurts me.

My own personal issues of juggling children, spouse, farm, home business,cooking, cleaning, home school, extended family issues, and trying to keep in touch with friends; is sometimes too much for me to handle on my own. I usually try to keep to myself, but there are days that I just need to vent. Although, I never would, I just want to say I don't like anyone today and I just want to be alone. Am I allowed to feel that way? Probably not, but some days I do. Some days, I just need to go within myself, and find some level ground to which I could rebuild my spirit to be able to keep moving forward. Do I get those days? Yeah right! Now, to be honest, once in a great while, I will have the honor of having a few hours just to me. I have found a few things that I can just be without the demands for a short while. My gardens have brought me much contentment. It's hard work, but there is something about having my hands buried in dirt, being able to finish a thought, and have time to speak from my heart to our creator. My cooking and baking have given me some of that peace too. Being out with our horses and even the chickens givens me such a sense of spirit. My horses, are so much a part of me know. They just know when you need to talk, cry or have some peace.

I grew up thinking everything was either black or white. You were either one or the other, and there wasn't anything in between. That is really not the case. There are so many gray areas. There are so many issues that you can justify by the phrase, "every story has 2 sides." While you can see an issue, what you don't know is the story that led to the issue to start with. You don't know what circumstances led to the issue. Yes, the issue itself may be against your personal morals but you also need to see what happened to cause an issue that led to the current issue. Now, I'm not saying that either way is right or wrong. I'm just saying that if you truly want to be honest, you have to see both sides. As I said before, no one living on Earth will ever be perfect or free from flaws. Every single one of makes mistakes, tries to better themselves the only ways they know how, and no one likes to be judged for trying to find a better way.

Personally, my horizons have been expanded enormously over the past 20 years. So many faults I found with others, as well as myself, have helped me to become who I am today. I am not saying my personal beliefs, thoughts, morals or limits are right or wrong...but they are MINE. I like the person I am becoming and I am proud of the accomplishments I can make for myself.

As the Winter months can become long, and many days are dreary, I encourage each of you to take time to find what you stand for. Not what you see on television, or read in print, or read online...but for what YOU stand for. What makes you tick, what stirs a passion deep in your gut, what issues have you allowed to hold you back from becoming a better person, and what can you do to become the best YOU possible!

Peace,
Salli

Holiday Financials....pt. 1

When the holiday season rolls around, more and more people become depressed and withdrawn. Why is this? My personal opinion is because they have either just gotten last years Christmas paid off or are still paying on it. As a season of such beauty, spending time with family and friends, and for many the celebration of Christ's birth; I am always dismayed at the negativity.

So, here I am to give my opinions about holiday budgeting, and so much more!;)

I myself have always loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, I can remember a time when the holiday season gave me so much stress. The amount of money spent was constantly more than necessary, and for what?! You spend hundreds of dollars on gifts that you give, only for those gifts to be used a very limited amount of time and tossed in the trash.

Here's a little story. I can remember as a kid, we waited all year for those special gifts. For me it was Barbie stuff, and one year it was little miniature dolls(I can't remember the name of them.). I knew Mom and Dad couldn't afford to buy some of these things so every year, I asked Santa for them. Every year, I usually got 1 or 2 of those bigger items. As I got older, the price of my wants began getting higher, the holiday became nothing more than a time for gifts and gritting my teeth while dealing with family. (My parents were divorced, so we'd spend part of the holiday with each) Once I had a child, I found myself in a different situation. I began wondering why it is that Christmas gifts were the focus of such a magical season. So, I began the shift of our Holiday Seasons. Christmas was no longer a holiday focused on gifts, but instead focused on spending time with friends and family. Now, we have 2 kids and our Christmas is still centered on spending time with family and friends, with a few gifts and a really low budget! We do not use credit cards or finance any part of Christmas gift giving. We have also made the shift to only buying for our little family, and making gifts from our heart, with love for our extended family.

So, here is what we did years ago. Since our oldest started out with Christmas as I did, we explained that we had a conversation with Santa and that Mom & Dad would be buying his Christmas gifts so that other, less fortunate children could have gifts for Christmas. Santa usually still delivers 2-3 gifts. We have set a budget for each person in our little family. $100 is the per person total.(Includes Santa). So, we learned to get creative, no big or useless gifts and we don't do video games so that isn't even in the equation. Now, we've had to make a few adjustments as needed or as the budget allows. Our oldest is getting harder to buy for, his needs/wants are getting more expensive, and we do try to make sure each of our kids get the same number of gifts. We were pretty lucky it really only took a year or two to make the transition with our oldest, and this is all the youngest has ever known. We shifted to focus to what really matters...Family! We look forward to spend as much time as possible with family through the holidays. Our kids have so much fun playing with their Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Grandparents. We love to cook and bake and share these items with all of them. This year we have decided that homemade gifts for our extended families will hopefully show them each, how much they mean to us. Everyone buys what they need and most of what they want, themselves, so it seems pointless to us to spend money we don't have. Making gifts from the heart makes so much more sense.

So, as the beginning holiday budgeting posts begin, I wish you a season of more financial sense, and more of what matters most...FAMILY!