Busy being busy!

Everyone talks about being so busy, all the time! I am no different! Sometimes, I ask myself "what are you busy doing?" We are constantly doing something, but in all honesty, what are we accomplishing? Running around like chickens with our heads chopped off, for what purpose?!

We work our tales off to pay for a home that we still have to finance even though we work like dogs, or for a vehicle that is priced as high as a home. We work our selves into the ground for what? Status, material items, things that are a temporary supplement for a feeling of achievement? As a phrase I recently heard says, "we work our asses off in a job we hate, so that we can afford a house we leave every day to go to work to pay for, in a car that we must work to pay for, to have a little extra money after all the payments to buy the few essentials we all in, in traffic of other commuters that must do the same."

Growing up in a bigger area, this has become a normal for, it makes me sad. I know some that seem to love the insanity of living life at a break neck speed, but I can't understand why! Those folks buy cookie cutter houses(all built the same way as their neighbors) to have the clout of home ownership, on little bitty plots of land, where you can reach out your window and literally touch your neighbor, in towns/cities that are so big you don't know your neighbors or half the streets in that town, and pay 40 years of their hard earned income just to "fit in." Not to mention buying a vehicle that will end up costing about 4 years of salary, the damage to those vehicles from all the commuter traffic, the outrageous amounts of fuel they use just to keep up with the home loan and vehicle loan alone. Then you figure in the insane amount of property taxes, home owner association crap, utilities, and the required grocery essentials...and you have one of the housing market crash examples.

Then you have all the other issues that affect the remaining expendable time you have. Time with your spouse, kids, family, friends, etc. Even in my small area, I find myself shaking my head and asking "WHY?" so often! Kids are involved in everything under the sun anymore! A friend of mine has 2 kids. Before her oldest graduated, she was running 7 days a week with their activities. Whether it was football, baseball, basketball, trap shoots, or FFA, it was something every single day. She would complain about the craziness of their schedules, the amount of miles being put on her car, or the amount of money spent in gas. When I suggested limiting them to 1 or 2 activities per year, she was surprised that she hadn't thought about that. So, by last year, she told the boys only 1 or 2 activities and to her surprise, they were happy! They didn't want to be involved in everything, but were doing it because they thought she wanted them to. She had her final year with both boys in school to actually enjoy her kids and slow down a little. Now, her youngest has decided not to be in any sports, because he doesn't feel obligated, and she has no more of the chaos. She actually has time to be in her home and enjoy it, doesn't have a 2 family income anymore to pay for all the extras, and is able to devote her time to being a mom, wife, and an individual person.

Then you have the issues of having the time and the money to spend time with your spouse, extended families, and friends. While social media has become the norm for keeping in contact, you really need to have personal conversations and time to get out amongst people. When your expendable time is spent running kids to all their activities, running to work, running back home to cook a meal/clean the house/mow the lawn that must be kept at a certain level; when do you have time to just enjoy your life? The truth is, you really don't. You work to afford the life you feel you must have to please those around you or just the perceived life you want everyone believing you have. You struggle to make ends meet, you struggle with the constant feeling of meeting yourself coming and going, and for what? Prestige, clout, image, others perspective? Marriages are falling apart, children are becoming more disrespectful, more people are further in debt than ever before, and people still can't make it on 2 full time incomes. This is so sad to me.

I know that not everyone can or would live as I do. I do understand the overwhelming feeling of "what if's," and I know the sacrifices that have to be made to change all of this! It's not only overwhelming but frightening! However, the changes can be made and most would benefit greatly, if nothing more than with their overall health.

As we find ourselves really busy from time to time, when it starts getting overwhelming, we make ourselves stop. We work as a family unit to prioritize tasks that must be done, that need done, that can wait, and ones that are just being done but have no purpose. We struggle to juggle the family budget on one income sometimes, but we find our priorities are for my job to be a mom and wife first and foremost. I did not have children for someone else to raise, and we agree that we will make the sacrifices necessary to strive on one income. We work as a family unit on everything possible. We took a really rocky marriage from divorce to thriving, parental roles and one team has become the norm, conflicts are resolved through communication not arguments, decisions are made together without outside influence, and we have become a united front. We are a team raising 2 kids to be respectful, community minded, spiritual, hardworking, and most importantly family oriented. The kids and I have 2 meals together everyday at our table, and our family has dinner together at our table every night. We discuss our days, our ideas, our goals, and our future...as a family.

I know our life style isn't for everyone, honestly, it wasn't the life I expected to living. However, even through all my mistakes, all my trials and errors, and all my learning experiences, I have learned. I have learned there are so many more valuable experiences than just working to live. We actually have a life, and not one that revolves around work, traffic, and keeping up with the Jones'.

I hope that those who know me, can learn from my own mistakes/errors/learning, that they can learn to value and prioritize their own lives.
S.