Attitude Adjustment - This Mom needs one!

How is it that you make a single statement in support of a cause you support, and all of a sudden you get barraged with hate mail, and people crawling out of the wood work to jump all over you? You are judged and yet accused of being judgmental towards others. The nasty emails berate you for having an opinion, for voicing an opinion, for being judgmental, for being too "old-fashioned," for not being a productive member of society, for not helping to support your family, for doing emotional harm to children - by being a stay at home parent(Yeah this one made me laugh and get pissed all in the same breath!), and for not being a good wife. These were just a few of the nasty emails I received after posting an article that I liked. One that defended stay-at-home-moms, instead of looking down at us. Instead of looking at us lesser people, or not intelligent.

Yes, this is a subject near and dear to my heart. In 2000, I gave birth to my oldest child. I went to work shortly after. I enjoyed working but during that first couple of years, I missed so many things with him. In addition, I dealt with cancer. I learned real quick that life is so short and fleeting that I wanted to enjoy every minute I could with my child. Even though I have been cancer free for 12 years, it is not something you ever forget! It took us about a year to get everything in order and to cut out the unnecessary things to allow us to live on a single income. It's not easy and there were MANY sacrifices. Would I change it? HELL NO! We do not spend foolishly, nor do we have many "brand name" items, but we have something so much more important....a family with strong values, strong ties, and a respect for each other that is unbreakable!

After having the cancer, surgery and medications....I was told I would never have any more children. This opens your eyes to so much. I adjusted and devoted my life to my little miracle. For 8 years, I spent every minute possible with my son. I would work for brief periods when finances got too tight, but mostly I was at home. We never have babysitters, only family has watched our kids. I watched and was part of my child's education, and teaching him everything I could. We had entrusted him in public education until the end of his 3rd grade year. The entire 3rd grade year was horrible, and we couldn't figure out why. By the end of that year, he finally told us why and it explained all the scrapes, scratches, crying, and begging not to go to school...but still having a "A" report card. He had dealt with a bully the entire year. This child had a history of mental illness, including trying to stab a teacher with a pencil. This child had threatened my son, and told him he would kill his family if my son said anything. After 3 months of dealing with the school district, we were told by the administration, our only option was to withdraw our son from the district. That's exactly what we did! Since then, we have home educated him, and he is doing exceptional!

In 2008, we were surprised to learn of another little miracle. Our daughter. In 2009, we welcomed our second child into our family. That little addition sealed the deal for me. I was a mom, first and foremost, to 2 precious little children. While it has been a complete challenge re-learning how to handle little ones, both of my children were miracles in every sense of the word. So, as I had been doing some work-from-home things, I knew I had to have something to keep my mind sharp while I was tending to the task of raising my children. So, I found a company that would allow such opportunities, and have been with them ever since. I went back to school and completed an 18 month course in about 7 months, and finished #3 in my class, with a 96%. I am back in school again at this time. I have continually studied to not only better myself, but to continue bettering my children to live as productive members of society.

In 2011, when we bought our little farm, I knew there would be so much to learn. This was not how I had grown up. In the short time we have had our farm, we have taken it from a barren hayfield to a working and productive farm. I am constantly learning about livestock, row crop, hay and improving my gardening abilities. We work hard to make the best possible home life for our family. While outside opinions don't really mean much to me, there are times when ignorance sets me on fire. Most times I won't argue with ignorance(as in the lack of knowledge!) but there are times when I will speak up. As anyone who deals with people will tell you, stupidity is not a fixable thing. If people aren't willing to learn, and would rather just argue or have chosen to stay ignorant of certain issues....there isn't anything anyone can do. That's when it's time to walk away from that negativity, that ignorance and just bless and release those people.

As I have spent a large part of my life dealing with issues, it wasn't until I became a mom that I was able to see things differently. It was then that my world, wasn't just mine. My world had become a world of doing what was best for myself, my husband and my children. Many won't agree with the choices you will/are making, and that's ok. Many will try to degrade or belittle you for your choices and that's ok too. However, until you do what you feel is best for your family, you will just always be following the crowd. I chose an unconventional way of life from the way I grew up, but it was the best direction for my family. You will learn how to get very think skin, how to tune out people that are constantly belittling you, those who just want you to "think" about what you are doing, and you will find the thousands of others that have chosen the same direction as you....no matter which direction you choose.

I don't believe that there is a right or wrong way to raise children, just a way that works for each individual family. As I readjust my attitude after a really bad day of insulting and negative emails, I want to encourage each of you reading this to do what is best for your family. Whether you are a hard-working Mom that has a career or a hard-working Mom that stays at home, stay true to your beliefs, and you will never regret it!

Moms are people so important in children's lives that we can not negate it, but we, as Mom's, must band together. We must support each other in our individual life style choices and not degrade or belittle when a Mom chooses a different path than we have. We are all Mom's. We all want what is best for our children, we all want health, happiness, and safety for our children. How we choose to help our children will vary, but as a Mom, it's not my job to judge how you raise your children...even if it is different than I raise mine. It's our job as Mom's, to support other Mom's, no matter their choice of raising their children, and to be respectful. It is our jobs, to raise our children the best we know how, and maybe all our children will be more respectful of others, and more tolerant too.

For this Mom to every Mom, I support you, I respect you, and I applaud you for the tremendous jobs you are doing!
Salli
Mo