Being a host family has been an idea our head for a lot of years, however, the timing was never just right. The thought of hosting a student from a different country was very exciting, but also a bit nerve wracking! There were always a lot of questions, some real concerns and for me, having 2 children that were young was a bit intimidating. 2019 was the year that changed all of that, sort of.
Early this year we saw a post on Facebook asking for host families for students from several different countries. We talked about it briefly, and then decided to ask some of our questions to lady that had the post. It turned out that the questions and concerns we had were answered very quickly, and the process to become an approved family, went just as quickly. Within just a few weeks, we had decided on our host daughter, and waited to hear when we'd get to start communicating. Then just a short while later, I got the most amazing email from our host daughter. We connected on several social media outlets, and this amazing app that allowed us to text back and forth. This communication began in February. We knew she would be arriving in August before the start of school, but didn't have an exact date. We had roughly 5 months to get to know our host daughter, to learn about her daily life and share ours, we sent videos back and forth and even got to see her family.
There was a lot of anticipation for how our host daughter would like living on a farm, how our family would adapt to having another young person in our home, and a lot of concerns that did not even come up until after she arrived. The process for being approved was really the easy part. Although my home is never immaculate, it's clean. We have plenty of food to feed an extra person, we have enough space to allow for our daughter to have her own bed, and being able to offer love and support is a given in my home.
Through the months of getting to know our daughter, we shared so many text messages, videos, and so much about our lives. It became very clear, early on, that our host daughter was loved before ever meeting her in person. I don't believe that if we hadn't had so much time to get to know each other, it would have been much more difficult for everyone to adapt. It was very interesting learning about our host daughter. The cultural differences with our daughter are not super extreme, but the communication styles are more defined. We learned about her travel arrangements from her quite a while before our local rep had them, so that was interesting also.
In addition to everything else, we had the experience of attending a host family orientation. This was about two weeks before our host daughter arrived. We got to meet some of the other families, and got to learn about them and their host children. It was interesting. From the information I heard, it seems that most school districts are very welcoming. The school district I live in seems to be much less so, to this point. I'm hopeful that that will change soon. This was one of the main concerns I had. I am hopeful that the few areas of conflict will be ironed out quickly.
On August 2nd, we picked our daughter up at the airport. I can tell you that I was nervous. Not only had I never driven to the airport...I had never been in the airport! As a side note, it was really no big deal(after the fact!). I drove there, without any real issue, even found a close parking spot, found the correct terminal and gate! I was pretty impressed with myself! Anyway, the excitement and anticipation had built to picking her up and everyone was excited. We got there to find 9 other families also waiting as patiently as possible. When we finally saw the students coming, it was a feeling of relief. It was like, finally, my daughter is home and safe! After lots of hugs, a few pictures, collecting luggage, and getting back to the parking garage...it time for the long trip home. St. Louis is an easy 3 hour drive. That does not include any stops or any excess traffic. After a 10 hour flight from Italy to Newark, NJ; 3 days sight seeing and living on adrenaline a 2 1/2 hour flight from Newark to St. Louis; another 3 hour trip home was even more exhausting. Because of the flying regulations, we stopped to eat lunch and at a Wal-Mart to make sure she had soap, shampoo and anything else she needed right away. 4 1/2 hours later, we finally got home. This sweet young lady was beyond exhausted. Our local rep came out that evening to visit and meet our daughter, and the poor thing about fell asleep at the dinner table. She went to sleep Friday night about 9, and slept until almost 4:30 Saturday evening. We got to visit a little more Saturday evening, had a nice dinner, and everyone went to bed by 10...all of us still completely exhausted!
We still have a lot of expectations and requirements to focus on. We were told someone has to come out again to view our home...this seems a bit ridiculous, but whatever, we have to deal with the school district to get her enrolled and figure out how they intend to get her to and from the 25 miles each direction since they have claimed we aren't in their district and that they don't have buses out here(there are 2 we know of within 5 miles). We have to take her to get whatever school supplies she needs and a phone that will be usable here to call us if she needs us, we have to make time when she is not completely exhausted to go over our rules and expectations.
As we have ventured into this experience, we have heard some disturbing commentary about hosting students. I would not host a student unless I intended to treat them just as I would my own children, but it seems there are some that don't believe that way. I would not leave my own children(even though one is 18)home for an entire weekend alone. I would not have anything in my house if it was not for everyone living here to use or eat. I expect everyone that comes here to make themselves at home. I have 2 weeks with my host daughter before school begins. That means there are several meetings, several different things that I have to do. She as well as my daughter will be attending them with me. When I have business trips, my host daughter will go with me just as my biological kids do. While I will do my best to make sure that she does not miss any school, I can not guarantee that in the school year she won't have to miss a few days so that she is not left in the middle of no where with no transportation or adult with her. Coming into a completely different country, not being able to drive anything with a motor(completely irresponsible on a farm), having these students pushed so hard to attend the schools and activities, plus have required community service hours, and a multitude of other activities seems to be counter productive but we will see. I have a requirement from the hosting group, a promise to our host daughters family to protect her and keep her safe and healthy and the promise that I will always treat her just like she was my own with love, support and care.
The transition period I had anticipated has been happening this weekend. Lots of resting, getting familiar with our home/family and the time differences. This is already one of the most rewarding experiences I can remember, there is just a huge learning curve. As with any new adventure, there are learning periods and adjustments. This is our first year hosting a student, and how everything goes will determine if we do it again. This year, however, we are going to treasure our time with our host daughter, learn everything we can about her and her country, share our lives with her, and I know I have already welcomed this sweet young lady into our home, our hearts and our life forever!
I hope to share our adventures, and this amazing journey throughout the next 10 months. I know there will be a lot of photos, lots of holidays and even an 18th birthday! Stay tuned for more of our adventure!!
Salli
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