Coffee Chat

Two weeks until Christmas Day. It's hard to believe how fast, yet slow, this year has passed. While it feels this year has taken seven to get through, it doesn't feel as if it should be more than about April. So many things have happened this year, changed this year, and yet it is as if everything has just stopped. The very essence of human spirit has been trampled on. It's sad and angering to see. Humans, by nature, are social beings. Think about it. We have family units that we interact with, sometimes daily and other times not as much. We have friendships, relationships and employment that require this interaction. 2020, however, has starkly limited to completely eliminated the ability of many to take part in these interactions. A large percent of our activities have been canceled, closed, or in many cases permanently closed. Everything from sporting events, to music events, to shows, and clear down to local school and events. Many people have either been laid off or let go from their jobs, and many small businesses have had to close their doors for good. So many livelihoods have completely been annihilated. Not to mention the mental health decline in so many from the isolations. I have been a sounding board for many that are struggling with the depression, loneliness and even some aggression of being forced to isolate or a lack of events to do to keep their emotion on level ground. We all try to what we can to keep healthy, to not make others ill, or to lead productive lives; but the past 9 months have taken a serious toll. We struggle with viruses every year. Whether it's influenza A or B, or Covid 19. Sure we want to protect everyone and end all deaths from any illness...but realistically, that is not possible. We have become terrified of germs, viruses and illness. To a point of extremism. I get it. I hate illness and get a little panicky when one shows it's ugly head. However, for 9 months, we have been on house arrest for a virus with a 99% chance of recovery(yes, even with pre-existing diseases), and now we are hearing a possible forced vaccine with a 94% chance of recovery. I personally will choose to feed my immune system everything healthy I can and take my chance on my own body. Does that make me selfish, NO! While some will say yes, that is their right to believe. Taking care of myself, and my family does not make me selfish, it is my right. If we get sick, we stay away from others. If we can carry a virus and spread it...that makes us just like everyone else. Am I going to just completely stop living for fear of spreading something I don't even know I have, hell no. This happens every single day - even before COVID 19. Think about it. How many times have we sent our kids to school, only to have some illness manifest in our children that they have now brought home to us. I know when I had kids in school, we had boughts of the flu every single year, and guess what...no kids in school, no illness until another child went into the school system and then we had the "flu" again. So, does this mean we need to shutter the schools permanently? For illness, I say no. Send the kids to school. They are germ magnets anyway. We can not build our immunes systems by living in sterile environments. We can not build immunity to illness through sterility. Yes, we should have been teaching hand washing and proper hygiene all along...I mean really, who does not wash their hands, clean their homes, or shower?! The thought that closing down the entire country over a virus, that has to run its course and can not be medicated against(as with ANY virus), has a 99% recovery rate even amongst the most diseased, and you have to have a swab shoved into your brain to even know if you have it - if you aren't showing symptoms?! Stop buying into the fear, the constant reporting and the ever changing "science". We are, by nature, social. However, even those lacking in IQ should understand if you are sick or not feeling well, you stay home. Instead of locking everyone up, we should be fostering compassion for those who are ill. We should have employers that will allow us to have paid sick days or personal days, so we can feel better, without losing the needed income to pay bills or buy groceries. We, as society, should be smart enough to know that if you don't feel well, you are running a fever; YOU STAY HOME. The problem comes in when so many have abused the sick/personal days, the schools have adopted a maximum number of missed days without a doctor excuse(which can take as much as 6 weeks to even get in), and too many have become dependant on government. Come on people, stop and think, just a bit. We have been forced to limit interactions for 9 months. Limited time with family, limited time with friends, no social interactions...this is killing ten times more people than this virus has. Think about those elders in nursing homes that have passed away, ALONE, and without seeing their loved ones. No last hugs, no last words of wisdom, what the hell is wrong with this picture! If it was my loved one being held hostage by this, I would be pissed and throwing one hell of a fit! They are not hostages, they are not imprisoned. Just stop already! If they are ill, let them have their own space to recover, but stop abusing our elders! Stop!!! This is criminal! I am all for using caution, limiting some interactions, and using my own brain to determine what is best for myself and my family. I don't need nor do I want any government, federal or local, telling me how to live my life. This is an exteme misuse and abuse of power. If I had to estimate, 95% of all "mandates" the past 9 months, have been unconstitutional and criminal. The government does not have this authority. These are not laws, but mandates. Learn the differnece. I bought into the media hype for about 3 weeks. Then I did my own research, my own investigating and educated myself. At one point, this is what Americans did, before we believed everything media, social media and even doctors told us. Think about it. When I was facing cancer, I got a second opinion before I ever agreed to surgery or treatment. I have always researched everything. If I didn't know something to be absolute, I researched, I educated myself, and I learned. That is why I still learn every single day! Turn off the tv, turn off your electronic devices. Get outdoors, go to the library, or just get involved in your community. Our elders are a wealth of knowledge, those 70+ can tell you so much, teach you so much and their stories make sense. Make it a priority to learn something new every day. Go back to the library and find those pre-1980's books, talk to the elders in your community, dig out those old encyclapedias that have collected dust. That's where you will find the information uncensored and you can pass that information down to your own family. I have struggled to stay off my soap boxes this year. The problem comes in when it has become acceptable to be disrespectable. So many can tear you to shreds online because your opinion differs from theirs. Several times this year, I have received some pretty nasty emails, comments and yes even phone calls; because I choose to think for myself. This is unacceptable, and is the very definition of online bullying. While I was raised with "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," apparently, there are MANY that now believe otherwise. Suddenly, everyone is offended by something and they demand their feelings be reparated. So, it has become acceptable to force your feelings and demands like a hostage situation. So, I am not supposed to have feelings because they differ from yours, kind of like the Constitutional rights that are now offensive? Freedom of speech - yet we are being censored on social media, freedom to bear arms - yet politicians are constantly trying to infringe on, right to fair and free elections - which even several Democrats have said did not happen, freedom in general - which has been taken away by several in federal and state governments, freedom of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness - which can not happen when business owners are forced to close their doors, citizens are forced to give up their rights, and forced to stop working towards their happiness. I will be first to say, I have had it up to my eyeballs with politics and politicians in BOTH parties. I am not a huge fan of our President, however, I do not understand how you can blame a man who has spent 4 years in the office for ignorance that has been happening for 50 years in politics. When you allow politicians to have too much power, from either party, they will become corrupt! These people are supposed to be elected by us, to work FOR us, NOT control us. This goes against every grain of our Constitution. We have politicians in office now, that have been there 20-60 years! Yet, a president can't be there more than 8 for fear of too much power?! We need stringent term limits throughout our elected officials, retroactive! 2 terms, and done! No life long pensions, no special benefits, and no exceptions! These people are being elected, not only making lifelong pensions with Cadillac benefits, but they receive lobbyist money, kick backs from corporations for pushing policies, and they become millionaires off OUR tax money, while constantly raising the taxes, making laws they don't have to abide by, and stealing from Social Security and draining it of all the tax dollars we pay in - only to call it an entitlement...yet we are not allowed to opt out of it. It's criminal at best! I firmly believe we, as individuals, need to care for ourselves. The theory of not being able to pour from an empty cup, is very accurate. However, we have forgotten how to balance life. Many of us rush from job, to home, to spouse, to children, to event, to whatever else. We have forgotten how to slow down. We have come to believe if we are constantly busy, we are productive. That is no where even close to accuate. Obviously, 2020 has been stupid, but when is the last time you took time to actually sit down with a friend, spend a few days, and just enjoy each others company? When is the last time you stopped rushing to read a real book? When is the last time you took more than just a few minutes to actually listen to hear when someone was talking, instead of listening to respond? Finding balance can be tiresome, frustrating and maddening! I am seriously guilty of a lot of this. I rush, find myself being busy doing things that either don't matter or can wait a bit. I find myself hearing just enough of a conversation to respond but not listening well enough to actually process it. If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know my love/hate relationship with technology. I depend on it, since a lot of my work is done from home, my phone is constantly ringing, my days are planned out months in advance, my nights have become chaotic snipits of my days, listening skills have become severely diminshed, and it has become easier to just do everything myself because no one else listens or hears anyway. So, I take on the stress of my world, alone, and build up resentment, anger and irritation to a point of boiling. It's not healthy for me or anyone else. It's easier to hold it all back, as opposed to actually voicing it, and causing arguements or disagreements. The thing is, it's only easier in the moment. It's after-the-fact, that it causes problems. It's the resentments for things others don't realize they have done because I haven't said anything, it's anger that I am doing everything myself because I won't ask for help because no one is ever there when I need it anyway. It's frustrating because I want to say something but rocking the boat to speak up is just not worth the headache that will ensue. I'm guilty...probably to a maximum level. I strive to help others, be there when others need it, do what I can to available. However, there are so many that are not of the same mindset. We all become selfish at times, and ask what about me? Yes, this is a pity party, and I have found myself in it from time to time. I have had to retrain my thought process. This becomes really difficult when so many push your buttons through guilt trips or expectations of what you have always done. Manipulation and Guilt is really the pandemic of our current time. When you don't do what some believe you should, you make your own decisions, you take time to learn or just for yourself; you are desicrated as a person/individual. Being here at a beautiful time of year, so many are struggling with depression. Yet, another snowball effect of 9 months of isolations. Even those that love this holiday season, normally, are depressed and dreading it. I am going to encourage everyone to do something kind everyday, for someone else, without all the recognition, lights and glory. Do something just because it's the right thing to do. By someone coffee, pay for the meal of the car behind you, make a donation to your local food pantry, purchase a gift off the angel tree, make a donation to a good cause. If you are going to donate to a charity or foundation, find one that actually follows it's mission...not those that all their income goes to paying high salaries. I am going to touch on one more subject. Community. We are always hearing people talk about changing the world. Personally, I would say start within your own community first. Why? These are people we know, many of our kids have grown up together, many of us have or currently are working in our community; anything we do within our communities helps us all. Whenever possible shop within your local community. Supporting these local businesses keep not only jobs, but tax dollars, and local business alive. You may pay a little more, but if you consider the cost of commuting and extra time...you probably won't save anything going outside your community. Small businesses still have personal touches, like knowing your name, your children, and maybe even your family. That money you spend in a local business, stays in your community. Whether it helps the business owner put food on their table, take care of their family or just the taxes they pay in, you are helping. If you choose to shop big box stores, you are forcing out the small businesses. They can't compete on that scale. Let's focus on helping our communities, and in turn you are changing the world around you. Look out for the safety of those in your community, especially the kids. Get involved in community events, before they are no longer there. Living in a small community, I have seen the effects that the corporate stores have imposed. So many small businesses have closed, and think about this...remember when you could go to a mall and have 60 different stores to look in, shop in and decide where you wanted to spend your hard earned money? We have lost so many of those stores, to places like Wal-Mart, Amazon, Menards, Etc. If we don't change our mindset, we will have no more options, and no more small businesses. We have a responsibility to our local communities. It's time to start local and fix this. So, as my computer battery is dying, I will end with this... I am struggling this year, like so many, to find much in the line of Christmas spirit. I am struggling to keep my own judgements to myself. I am going back to my thought of to each their own, but don't push your own on me. My life is just as valuable as the next, but not anymore than anyone else's. You have your beliefs, I have mine. Neither of us are completely right nor completely wrong. We are just free to have those opinions. I have spent a lot in my local communities this year, and will continue to do so. I am working to get more involved in local events. I am taking care of my family, our household and doing the best we can with what we have to work with. I have flaws just like everyone else, and that is what makes each of us unique and special. Life goes on whether we participate or not. I am choosing to live rather than just exist. Have a great end of the year! Salli