2020 has been one hell of a year! To say I am ready to move on is an understatement!!! I know we have all experienced hardships, stress and concerns this year; but for me, there have been so many good things that have come about too. My family spent a lot of time discussing the best course of action for us. In our house, we have 3 of us that have severe allergies, and one that has an autoimmune disorder. So, the pre-existing conditions hit our family directly. For the first 2 weeks of March, we monitored the information, between research and listening to the news - I honestly felt scared. We made the decision to do a voluntary 2 week quarantine. That took on a life of its own for almost 6 months. After the 2 weeks was up, and more research revealed that there were too many inconsistencies, it was time for everyone to return to their lives. Well, by that point the media had everyone in a panic and the country was all but shut down. My husband was informed he was laid off indefinitely, even though his work was considered an "essential" one. My son went back to work, and dealt with the public daily. My work, almost all fundraisers were shut down. So, we had to deal with unemployment, for the first time in our 22 years together. That turned out to be a massive cluster! Thankfully, the extra unemployment that so many complained about, you know...the one that supposedly had gone to those that didn't need that because it was more than they were making at their jobs, well...fortunately, for us, it held us within $50 of my husband's weekly income. Since they go back 2 years to determine your unemployment amount...we would have been screwed without the extra. So, we did have to budget a lot tighter, but having my husband home for so many months, allowed us to get a lot of projects done that we hadn't had time to do before. So, there is that. There are several projects we didn't get to or couldn't afford this year, so we are hoping next year will allow that.
This has also been a year of massive division. It saddens me so much to see it. I don't believe we all that far apart in our beliefs, but we are being played and antagonized into arguing amongst ourselves. Sure, there are different beliefs, we'd all be pretty boring if there weren't. Everyone having different beliefs, being able to express those vocally, and not be punished is part of what makes America great! Don't get me wrong, I am not a huge fan of our President. However, I am smart enough and accepting enough to know he has done some good things, I'd been an idiot not to. I don't play the party card. I believe both parties are corrupt and pathetic. I actually research information, and I DO NOT watch the news. I believe the media has made mountains out of mole hills more times than not. Does our country have problems, of course. You'd be an idiot not to see that. Understanding that I am NOT a Democrat, nor am I a Republican; I still do as I was taught to do growing up. I research, I read, I question EVERYTHING! This year has proven to me though, that many have chosen party, class, religion, gender, race, or sexuality; over being an American. You see, I grew up in home and family surrounded by veterans and soldiers. I grew up in a time that was pretty quiet until I reached high school. During my high school years, Operation Desert Storm occured. We had soldiers that came to our school to tell us about their deployments and the importance of American freedom. My Grandfathers, my Dad, MANY relatives and friends served in the American Military. These were a class of Americans that not only have my complete respect today, but had it my entire life. Unfortunately, I was unable to serve, but not for a lack of trying. I was brought up in a home where you respected the law, you respected police officers, you respected your elders, you respected the President(even if you disagreed with him), you saluted the American flag and the national anthem. Had I behaved, as some do today, I would not be here to be disgusted by some of these behaviors! You took your responsiblilities very serious. You worked a job or jobs, you took care of your family and extended family, you didn't blame anyone but yourself for poor behavior or "bad luck," and talking politics or religion was forbidden. You kept your life to yourself. No one outside of your home was privy to any information. As it should be! In my years on this Earth, it has become evident that changes are inevitable but not all "advancements" truly are. We got internet and computers when I was in high school. It was supposed to be the information highway. It was advertised as a means to allow unlimited knowledge to the masses. Many were excited to get it and truly believed that access to so much information would make the greater population smarter. Sadly, I believe it has done just the opposite. We have a wealth of information at our fingertips, faster than any other time since its invention, and so many still neglect to get the facts or research. Instead we focus on social media, failed and manulative media sources, failed, manulative and corrupt talking heads. Seriously, I can not be the only one that believes politicians that have spent 20+ years in office are the true problem?! We have been manipulated into believing that whomever serves 4-8 years as President is the problem, yet neglect to look further down the ladder into our House and Senate where these people spend more than 20 years in office...constantly blaming someone else for issues facing our country. Let's not forget their massive lack of financial sense! These House and Senate personnel have to approve or deny the annual budget for our country. We, as a country, are more than $24 TRILLION dollars in debt. How in the hell did we get to that level??? It sure wasn't the man that has served for 4 years. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for the Trump haters. This debt has accumulating for DECADES!!! So, we are now supposed to be happy for the possibility of a man who HAS been in the Congress for 47 years, who WAS part of the problem?! Sorry, I will not be accepting nor happy about this. Do I believe that there was fraud involved in the 2020 elections? Well, duh!!!! Fraudulent voting practices have been going on for Decades. Just in the years I have been of legal age to vote, I have seen it. Can we say, hanging chads? I believe this year, however, the fraud and massive issues are due to power and greed! As I've said, I am not a huge fan of President Trump. I think he's arrogant, and a big mouth. I do however, believe he has attempted to work FOR the American people, NOT our corrupt political circus...and that is the problem. He can not be bought or sold, he calls the hypocrits out and lacks a brain-to-mouth filter. After so many smooth talking snakes, it is hard to adjust to just a guy who is not a politician but a business man, and an American. One who has done so many incredible things that, without digging into it all, you will NEVER hear about. I know there are many that will never agree with me, or even admit to any of the good things our current President has done, and really...that is their issue, not mine. I was raised to know there are always 2 sides to every story and there is a lot of things that go on behind closed doors that the general public will never know.
Politically, I get on many soap boxes. Not to argue with others, but to try to make people look at both sides to a story. The problem that has arisen this year is that no one wants to consider any view besides their own. It reminds me of the phrase, "everyone has a right but no one wants to take the responsibility." As I have said before, I am not a Democrat nor a Republican. I'm an American and a Constitutionalist. I firmly believe in limited government, fiscal responsibility, states rights, medical freedoms, educational freedoms, uncensored/unbiased news, and of course, Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This was the intent of the founding fathers; and due to continued lack of self-responsibility, we have gotten away from. I've been told several times, by people that disagree with me, that they don't need a history lesson. I disagree!! I believe that some true history lessons, is exactly what a lot of people need. History is not there to be earsed. It is there to learn from, so we don't keep making the same mistakes. Honestly, if you can not try to see both sides of any issue, you are adding to the problem. While this will be a whole other soap box, it is caused by the political arena. Welfare. Originally, the government program was intended to be a hand up for those that fell on hard times. Through it's life span, it has become a hand out. The program has been abused and has resulted in generations of unproductive members of society. We, as a country, have allowed this. Rather than educating and empowering our people, we have given handouts to keep them poor, miserable and dependant. We have spent decades keeping our citizens dependent on government support and handouts, demanding that those working pay taxes to cover those not working. Demanding that those with health insurance pay for those who do not, demanding that the government provide for individuals poor choices. I have no problem with those getting a hand up when they hit hard times. I do have problem with those that abuse the system, keep having children to get more governmental help, and those that spend a lifetime living off the government. I believe in breaking the cycle. The only people that do break the cycle, are the ones that truly want to be better and do better for themselves. They don't let obsticles deter them, they work harder to achieve their goals, and they see a better future. Those are the type of people this country needs! It is not the government that pays for all these "free" handouts! It is the Americans that bust their ass each and every day to take care of their family, pay their bills, and pay an enormous amount in taxes to a government that no long represents ALL of its people. If you depend on government hand outs, you can bet that same governemnt is giving those hand outs, just to keep you poor, broke, and needy. They are not trying to help you. They need you to depend on those hand outs, so you will keep voting for them, to get more hand outs. Those hand outs, are coming from HARD WORKING AMERICANS!!! Take the challenge to break the cycle! You deserve it!!
As our country is facing such a backlash in our current election, and a massive debt, it raises the question...when are all Americans going to get fed up with being enslaved to a bunch of elected officials that are do not care about us?! Researching as I do, there is plenty of evidence of fraud in this election. You would have to be blind not to see it. However, my fears with this election are not geared towards party so much as towards the politicians. Joe Biden has been in office for 47 years!!! This should be criminal! Do you realize we have roughly 50 members of the House or Senate that have held those offices for 20+ YEARS!!! This is part of the reason why we have so many many issues! Do you even know who your representatives are or what they have or have not done to help you or your district? I honestly don't give 2 shits what party they claim to be in, if they have served more than 18 years, they need to be thrown out with no pension other than social security, no lavish fringe benefits, no health insurance other than that of the American people, and they need to return to their districts to become productive members of those districts. I have read so many social media posts, some are lies, some are "fact-checked" - which anyone with a brain now knows is the truth that's trying to be brushed under a rug. The thing is, so many are banking on all this "free" stuff that has been promised, that the Democratic party is going to fix racism and level the playing field, and the polticians in control of that party have a long standing of being full of shit. Now, don't get me wrong, the Republicans that have had so much power for so long are full of shit too! Let's take a look. You have McConnell who is a Republican, has "served" for 35 years. He is your typical old, senile, entitled piece of shit. He couldn't find a backbone if you handed it to him. Then you have Nancy Pelosi; another old, senile, entitled piece of shit. Between her alcohol problem, and being bat shit crazy; she has held a paid political position since 1987! For those with math problems, that's 33 years!! Then you have MAxine Waters-29 years, Don Young-47 years, Patrick LEahy-45 years, Chuck Grassley-45 years, Ed Markey-44 years, Chuck Schumer-39 years,Steny Hoyer-39 years, Richard Durbin-37 years, Dianne Feinstein-28 years, and of course, Joe Biden-47 years. These are just a few!!! Americans are being played by these politicians and so many are buying into it lock, stock and barrel! Not to mention that this game they are playing is dividing us; as friends and families. Do you think they don't know what they are doing? These people are educated idiots, but they are using this division to broaden their power. Think about this, please! Do you believe ANY of these people could do your job, manage your budget, take care of your children, let alone truly care about anything besides themselves?! Our federal government bankrupted a brothel/bar for God's sakes! They have managed to destroy the postal system, commit fraud in every area they have touched, and now...NOW, they baiting our citizens against each other for their own gain. I am so grateful every day that we can all have different opinions and livestyles but when you force your opinions and lifestyles on others is where I draw a line.
I could never nor would I want to tell someone that because they chose a life different from mine; that they were wrong. It may be wrong in my eyes, but I am not the one who has to live with those choices. I am not the one who has to answer for those choices. I do my best to live by the theory of to each their own. I know people that judge based on skin color, religion, gender, etc. I am not that way. If you are a good person, kind, civilized and otherwise, I will treat you with respect. If you behave like a heathen, you will be treated as such. I believe you are free to love who you love, if you choose to riddle your body with alcohol or drugs you need help but that's your choice. If you choose to use your body as an art canvas, that too is your choice, just understand that some choices won't heal shut and you will be looked at like a scary person. If you choose to get married, you better be ready for one hell of a ride. Marriage is not fun and games, and half of anything is only in divorce...marriage takes 100% from people or it will not work. You better work on communication skills too! Jobs are a requirement, but so is living. That job will replace you in a heartbeat but your loved ones won't and they won't be around forever. Those friendships that have been tested because of differing friendships, may just be some of the truest friends you will ever have, so be careful how far away you push them...some may not return. Your children will grow up before you realize it. Take heart that even those most trying, sleepless days that they will not last forever. It may seem like it, and may even feel like it. But in the blink of an eye, those colicky babies, those teething fevers, the terrible 2's and teenage years; when they are over and your kids are now young adults, it happens so quickly. When you are no longer tripping on toys, or trying to find the season's best toy, the newest toys or videos, to not buying toys anymore, the house always stays cleaner, you no longer hear "Mom" every second - you will miss it!! I am there now.
My life is so different from most that I know. I know, there are many similar. I'm going to say this laughing, because where and when I grew up, the towns I lived in weren't much different than our closest towns here, but I was a "town" kid. We had more fields and farms than town at the time, but I didn't grow up on a farm. I grew up with everything pretty close and convenient. We weren't really dirt poor, but poor none-the-less. I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, that's for sure. My family has always had to work hard for anything we had. My parents divorced when I was 11, and it was a messy/ugly divorce. I lived the life of bouncing from one house and one set of rules to another. The ideas of today with co-parenting, yeah that would have been nice when I was a kid! Anyway, I am old enough that we played outside with hot wheels car, tonka trucks, popping tar bubbles in the road, and riding bikes. We lived in a subdivision most of my life, and all the neighbors watched out for all the kids. When the street lights came on or parents yelled, you got your butts home. Meals were cooked, and you didn't have an option...you ate whatever it was. You were taught that talking to elders meant saying "yes, ma'am or yes, sir." And talking back, holy cow, that meant either having your mouth washed out with soap, or needing a dentist! You didn't dare get in trouble with the law, because honestly, once the officers were done with you, your parents were 10 times worse! If you got in trouble, you got your ass handed to you....switches, belts, or boards. The principal at school had permission to beat your ass if you acted up at school, and then you'd get it again when you got home! You knew better than to get involved in any adult group conversations, that was ingrained! Bullies were put in their places, by those that were being bullied. There was none of this molly coddling of today. If you bullied someone, they were told to fight back. It stopped those bullies in their tracks. College was a luxury. That was for the rich or the intellectly gifted. Otherwise, you were taught trades and skills. Something that is in serious need today. Besides, college is not for everyone. We didn't have hours at school, only to get home and have hours of homework. School was done at school. Once you got home, you were expected to help at home. Extra curricular activities were limited. Many parents believed that one or two was fine but expected those to be limited so there was time with family. Something that is severely lacking today. We weren't scheduled for every second of every day. Babysitters were few and far between, unless for going to work. You didn't hire a sitter just to go drinking, partying or just because. However, a sitter for the kids, when the adults needed a break was acceptable.
While I have raised my kids a lot like I was, the spankings and not being allowed an opinion are different. My parents divorce was difficult for me, but ramifications from it have not shown up until much later in life. I know many kids have lived with divorced parents, and I am just one in a massive list. I am thankful that my kids have not had to experience that. I would hope that if they ever did, that my husband and I could work together.
Next up, aging. I have to laugh when people take issue with their ages or birthdays. I love my birthday! I truly do! I just turned 46. I have been blessed with another year, and another birthday. Hitting this mid-life mark, has brought on so many different things for me. It really started changing me about 7 years ago, but this year has kicked it in overdrive. Most of the women I know, about my age, have begun with our next phase in womanhood. Menopause. Let me tell you, this phase is throwing me one curve ball after another! You've heard of the mid-life crisis, I'm there! Holy crap, is this crazy! You don't know from minute to minute, let alone from second to second, what your mood will be; let alone battling your body to do what you've always done but now you get opposite results! I question every move I make, I question everything naturally, but this is extreme! I am constantly weighing my thoughts, wondering if I am making decisions because of a mood or because I want to, and the constant battle within to not lash out at people for their irresponsible behaviors, disrespect, or sheer ignorance is REAL! Wanting some people close, but not too close, and wanting others to just go away. Sadly, I've heard other women say it feels like puberty only we're older. That's not too far off. I've found myself weighing my words, biting my tongue, and just letting stupidity go, rather than my usual bluntness. Arguing about anything seems to be more trouble than it's worth, but if I do...it will be bad. I'm finding my house quieter since my kids are older and no longer need me every second. Again, this is not always good. Idle minds and idle hands create many problems. I'm no longer tripping all over toys, but I'm missing those precious moments of feeling needed. I've been maturing in spirituality but finding questions without answers or being told to attend a church...I do not believe that is the best choice for me. I have reached out friends and collegues in the medical field for suggests to dealing with everything I have dealt with, reached out to professionals to help put to rest old ghosts. I have a few still to reach out to with other areas, but this phase of life, is a bit overwhelming some days.
As we are getting ready to put this turbulent year behind us, I hope that each of you will find the lessons we have been taught this year, that you can find the blessings of the year, and know that each of us is on a path...they are not all meant to be same. 2020 is ending, and it is up to us to bring peace, compassion, acceptance and blessings to ourselves and our loved ones. I hope you all will do everything possible to make 2021, a beautiful year. Open your windows and doors to allow the old out and the new in, sage your house for new positive energy, say a prayer for your family, and our country. Life is so short, enjoy every single minute you can!
Warmest Wishes,
Salli
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