Coffee Chat

 

Let's sit with our coffee and chat a bit. There's so much to visit about; I'm just not even sure where to begin.  Between person issues and global issues, the vast conversation could go in a million directions. Let's get started and see where it rolls!

I want to start on something I believe many women in my age group are dealing with. The "next phase" of our lives. I know for about 8 years of dealing with this, I believe to be in final stretch...finally! I really don't think many people understand this phase. It's not really taboo, but just not discussed. Whether that be due to the variations or just "part of life." Let me tell from my own experiences, "just part of life," is not cutting it! Not only are we dealing with changes within our bodies, but hormonal changes, attitude changes, and being less likely to put up with other people's shit! That being said, if I hear one more that my "attitude" must be because of this phase, I MAY lose my shit! Whether you have children or not, you WILL experience this shift. I am fortunate enough to have a very trusted friend and a very trusted natural doctor, to help make sense of many of these changes. However, because we are all different, we may all feel/experience different "symptoms." I hate that word, because we are not ill, just progressing in our lives. Anyway, yes we are experiencing hormonal/chemical changes in our bodies. We are progressing from the motherhood roles into our mature lives. It can make you feel crazy at times, and SOME very unwise folks will bravely tell you, you are acting crazy. Let me say this, after 30+ years of a menstrual cycle, you have earned the right to be crazy for a period. Seriously, you are NOT crazy. Your entire body is making a transition. Things that we have tolerated, dealt with, and even believed for a few decades changes. It happens. Even men experience a form of "mid-life crisis/phase." Now, I am not saying going out and find someone half your age, buy a sportscar/motorcycle and ditch your responsibilities; however, I am saying that we do change. The key, in my eyes, is learning to make changes responsibly. If you are in a serious relationship, make changes and grow together. If not, make changes that allow you to learn, grow and better yourself. In my world, I find myself changing my thoughts, and my mind regularly. My attitude has gotten pretty harsh. My tolerance level has become non-existent. And, oh, the cluttered rooms in my home, are about to make me go postal! Simple things like: changing the toilet paper roll, doing dishes AND wiping down counters/stove, emptying the trash, being observant to things that need done/picked up - these do drive me instantly batty!! The whole idea of being observant to your surroundings makes sense to me, but obviously not to everyone. Simple things like being respectful of letting me know you will be late so I don't worry, doing what you say you will do, not being on technology during a family meal/not having the noise box blaring, paying attention to conversations happening around you...you know, simple things that SHOW respect. Honestly, I think if I hear "well, you are going through the change of life, so that's why you are behaving the way you are," one more time....it won't be pretty. 

Ok, I could talk on that subject for DAYS! So, let's roll on. We are just days from the final 2 months of 2022. Hard to believe, I know! I truly despise Halloween, on a normal year, but this year...I am more fearful for our children. With so many candies being called into concern being laced with Fentanyl, I am more hesitant than ever. I don't understand how parents are not more concerned with allowing their children to take candy from strangers, and not being in huge concern of handing out candy that could kill our children! My daughter wants to hand out candy in our nearby town this year, and I am seriously concerned about being involved at all. I know it's fun to dress up. I've done it since I was kid, but we didn't have the issues we have had the past 20 years. Kids ending up kidnapped, candies laced with needles/razors, now deadly drugs. Unfortunately, I have a child that actually likes this "holiday." I would bypass it altogether if it were me. So, the back and forth continues. What's the right way to handle this? I wish I knew. We've had dress up dance parties at our home the past couple of years to avoid the weather and that extra nonsense, but what's the best solution? 

I typically turn Halloween into a "pretty" time, but putting up my Christmas decorations. This "tradition" started because my husband didn't want to dig through the attic to find the fall/halloween stuff when the Christmas stuff was right in the front. He has been pretty grinchy most of our marriage. I can't tell you how many years I heard "it's just another day." It is, but the entire season for me, is beautiful. It's not about gifts for me, and hasn't been since I was young. It's about the warmth, kindness usually found during these months, and the times spent with loved ones. Those to me, are the BEST gifts. In 2012, we started hosting an annual Christmas Open House. We invited neighbors, family and friends to our home in December, for a few hours of visiting, some traditional Christmas treats and fellowship. We have had this all but the 2 years we spent away from our farm. Each year this has grown. I have already scheduled it again this year. For me, this is such a great gift! It's a lot of work preparing, baking and cooking all week long; but the outcome has been as many as 52 people coming to celebrate friendship/fellowship. It is our gift to "our community." It is typically our neighbors, family and a few friends will come occasionally, but it's those that never miss or rarely miss it, that are our closest circle. It's not formal, just a casual family setting with kids running through all the adults. Lots of food, goodies, coffee and lots of visiting. It is one of my favorite parts of the year. 

Since 2020, so many things have just been messed up. People so afraid of dying that they won't live. Out-of-control government intrusion. Illegal and unConstitutional means to destroy our economy, our livelihoods and our communities. It's truly scary how conforming so many have become. I am not going to get into politics today. I am just truly concerned with my own communities well being, as our economy continues to tank and more people are facing some real economic and financial hardships. I think we need to focus on more kindness, forgiveness and community support right now. 

I have stressed and worried about our own projects so much this year. I have finally put my garden to rest, with the help of my husband and son. I have gotten new bedding out for my critters. I got the deck closed back in, except now...I have to redo part of it with the crazy winds. With the help of those crazy winds, the pool is down. My husband got the sheep lots cleaned out, and the manure spread, but we still have the cattle lot to finish. We have fencing that will need work again in the spring. We had a bad drought this year, so we are having to buy hay, which is killing the savings...not to mention having to also replace a fridge that decided to go out, AND all the food that went to waste in it. We are returning to some pretty tight budgeting due to the strains being seen in the economy. With all the supply chain issues, parts and equipment shortfalls, increased prices, and the fears of job losses...it's become evident that pinching pennies is required. While this is not really something new, it is becoming necessary. It is necessary to start "rationing" of sorts. It's not buying anything frivolously, not wasting anything unnecessarily. Waste not, want not. It's going back to reusing what you can instead of just buying new - which you can't find half of it anymore, and the other half is sky high. I know 2008 was tough for a lot of people, and times now are becoming even more lean. Even my own Christmas shopping this year, has been necessities, useful things, with only a single, small frivolous gift. Our Christmas will be noticeably smaller this year, but we also won't have a bunch of clutter sitting around in a few months of gifts they "had" to have and will forget about by March. I am hoping to make some positive changes for the current times, but also for the future with my kids and future grandkids. 

As much as I am personally struggling this year, I am pushing myself to keep moving forward...even if it is babysteps. It's so easy to get wrapped up in other people's drama, the disaster of our economic times, our own health issues, or any number of areas; that some days are just down right depressing. It's difficult to find commonality with many folks anymore. It doesn't make anyone anymore or less than the other, it is just we are all on different paths with different goals. I am a pretty simple person, in the terms of: I value the old fashioned family unit, I value friendships, I value my family - husband and kids, I value God/Family and Country. I do not buy into brimstone and fire, nor do I buy into "one size fits all." I believe in live and let live. To each their own, just shove your beliefs on me. I don't believe the world needs to know every move we make, or that our mindless tv/activity habits are doing us any favors. So many have gotten so up in arms over the different beliefs of others, that they have become exactly who they claim to dislike. Extremism is extremism no matter what the cause. Constitutionally, it is our right, per our Constitutional Republic, to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Period. No where in there, does it state that we all have to pursue the same goal. I think we really need to remember this. While I have my own very opinionated beliefs; who am I to judge someone else's life style?! I do NOT have to answer to God for what others choose to do....THEY do!

On that note, I'm going to sign off for today. I hope you have a great day, make it great! Small steps forward, are still forward moving!!! Keep going!!

Salli