My new chapter begins now. I am not a "new year, new me" person. What you see is what you get. Each year, I begin a new chapter of my life, on the day of my birth. I keep notes all year, on things I like or don't, attitudes and goals. I set goals for myself, because I am my own worst critic! No matter how much or little I do, I am constantly pushing myself to the highest standards possible...when I don't meet those, in my own eyes, that's when things go down hill.
Setting my goals for the coming year, means writing them out, putting a date that I WANT to accomplish them, adding in multiple plans(because you know, Murphy's Law), lots of details, and a final date to actually achieve my goals. I have done this every year for a few decades now. The past decade, I've gotten a little lazy with my goals. You see, I set goals for myself, for our family, and for our farm. I work very hard to achieve everything I set out to do, but sometimes...reality bites, and I miss my mark by a long shot! Then I become more critical of myself, and everyone around me! I hold myself to high standards, and I usually do anyone that is involved in my life. Sadly, as I said, the past 10 years...I've gotten lazy. I've allowed things to happen - that would have NEVER happened before. I've allowed poor behaviors to become acceptable and instead of outright calling bullshit, I've just put distance. I've held my tongue more and more the past 10 years, choosing to avoid battles, that needed to be fought. I've put myself on the lowest rung of the ladder, while trying to help others up it. I've allowed my heart to become pretty cold - which goes against the fiber of who I am. I've also allowed some serious negativity to infiltrate my own attitude.
I will, undoubtedly, remain the sarcastic, opinionated, thoughts all over everywhere, person I have always been. I am just hopeful to be able to get back to being a little more organized about it all. I need to make a lot of projects happen this year, since many have been put off for a couple years now. Some of those, need to happen before it creates a bigger headache. Myself, I prefer to make progress without having to back track to fix things first, before moving forward. I hate being behind, playing catch up, and all that noise.
I know 2023 is going to test my very being, the economy is looking to get worse. Now, I am losing my vehicle because of damage from a deer. I have fought to keep myself in check - a little better, since I am getting older...and tact seems to want to fly right out the window. I am wanting some things to change, needing some things to change and I know that making those changes is going to a massive uphill battle within my household. I have been pretty low-key when it comes to my own family and their behaviors...but I've ended up creating more stress and headaches for myself. I have things/projects I want to do, and if everything stays on its current course, I won't have the time, energy or money to do them. I'm low maintenance, NOT no maintenance. I have let a lot slide and I can not continue that.
I will continue to stock my pantry, garden, can, and take care of critters. Some things will not change. While my gardening/canning and animals are stress relievers, I do enjoy all of them. Actually, as I have gotten older...I enjoy them a lot more. I have new flower beds I want to put in to bring more pollinators to my gardens. I want to do more landscaping. Our pool is gone now, so there is a large area I need to decide how to use. My chicken coop has some pretty massive issues that have to be addressed this year. It won't withstand another winter without help. This last fall, I let a lot in my garden go to waste, as there were many bumps in our road. The coming year, I have to make everything count. I also have a responsibility to myself, to take care of myself. I have let a lot go; after no longer having to be out on a regular basis(outside of the farm), I have lost a bit of determination and a lot of confidence. I need to clarify that. I have plenty of confidence in myself, what I know and such BUT I've lost the confidence of knowing I could take on something new, and achieve it. When you have spent the better part of 20 years as Mom, and homemaker...your "worldly" education leaves a lot to be desired. Not to mention the fact that employment is NOT the way it was when I worked. There is no loyalties anymore. It's very cut-throat, and that it NOT who I am. I would love to have something part time again, off the farm, but that never works out well on the home front. So, between battle my youngest to get the school work done, taking care of my responsibilities here, making sure everything stays where it has to, to work...I am home for the foreseeable future. If only I could make a living as Mom, housewife, farm manager, cook, laundress, meal planner, event planner, and gardener...
My goal list for 2023 is pretty long. I am still working on it, as I seem to be running behind on everything this year. I guess if it doesn't get completely finished before the 1st, I'll finish it when I get to it. Until then, I keep working away at all my regular tasks, and the lovely end of year ones. Whatever will be, will be. I am going to work hard to minimize some stresses, and take some much needed time to balance out life, as I need it! That is my biggest goal for 2023...don't sweat the small stuff! As I shared with my son and future daughter-in-law:
KISS:
K - Keep
I - It
S - Simple
S - Stupid
Here's to an overall great 2023. May our blessings far outweigh our stresses!
Salli
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