Coffee Conversation

 

There is so much to talk about, anymore. Every single day, we are inundated with more crap. Our supply chain, our food, our energy, our taxes, our fuel, the stock market, the inflation, the business closures, the lay offs, the employment numbers, and what we as citizens truly are experiencing on Main Street. It's remarkable to me, how those sitting in ivory towers, can hold any weight in their opinions when they wouldn't understand what real people experience. Sadly, many of our experiences are a direct result of their ignorance. 

While my own experiences in my part of rural America will be different that others, these are what I can share.  The "experts" are now claiming that the $15 hourly wage, can no longer sustain and that must be boosted to $20. You don't say. I know people, in other areas that are making 3 times that, and are still struggling. In the past 2 years, food alone has increased 20-60%. Fuel has increased as much as 50%. Home heating costs have increased 20%+. Interest rates have increased by as much as 50%. The middle class is being taxed to death; local, state and federal. As I said, from my own experience, 25% taxes coming from income(federal, state, medicare, & SSI); is killing American family budgets. 

Going back to my own area and life style. The cost of livestock/animal feed has increased dramatically as well. With the increased cost of feed, throw in the lack of nutrients and false/deceptive advertising of some feed, just adds insult to injury. The cost of fencing supplies, building supplies, ag/vehicle repair parts and availability, unreliable employees, and employers expecting loyalty while completely disrespecting their quality employees...you have a massive disaster on your hands. How many have heard, "we can't get help," or on the employer side, "we're offering sign on bonus and competitive wages," yet the reliable/hard working employees they already have, some with years of experience are making the same as those that started a week ago. I may have been out of the business world for a while, but common sense does not change. You take care of those that take care of you; and eliminate those that cost your business more than they bring in. A good employee doesn't leave a job, a good employee leaves jobs they are not appreciated at. Typically, there is poor management or ownership at those places. I may be on our farm every day, but I still talk to people all over the country. The job market is upside down, everywhere! Employers are bringing in warm bodies to fill positions, those warm bodies are making what experienced employees are making, and doing half the work. This leaves the experienced employees frustrated and frankly, pissed. What good is their experience if some Joe-blow off the street can come in making the same hourly rate? It's a mess. 

Being on a small farm, we have had to try to absorb some pretty substantial price increases. My own experience here, the feed I have fed my chickens for 12 years, started at around $10 for a 50 pound bag. 2 years ago, it was $12.73 a bag. 2 weeks ago, it was $20.81 a bag. The quality of the feed has decreased, and required extra supplements to keep my flock healthy. In total, for 2 dozen hens, it went from costing about $100 per month, to over $300 now. That is just the increase for the chickens. That does not include the increased cost of sheep/goat feed or cattle feed. All of which has doubled or tripled. The Spring, Summer and Fall months, is easier to supplement with products from my garden or the pasturing, but Winter is always a challenge. I know there are people that do not do as much for their animals and they get along ok...I believe in treating my animals as good as I treat my family. There is no sense having animals if you aren't going to take care of them. I'm a softy for animals. 

Going back to the grocery side of things. Just this morning, it is being said that eggs alone have seen a 60% increase in price, year over year. That is a 60% increase in price from the same time last year. I've seen this first hand at several stores. I even had a lady willing to drive nearly 2 hours just to buy some eggs. That's insane! Ground hamburger has increased, like everything else. Chicken, if you can find it, has increased. The entire food shopping experience is more costly and walking into a grocery store can give you a bit of a shock when you see an enormous amount of empty store shelves. The price increases alone can give you sticker shock. A can of coffee, that was $5.99 a year ago, is now $10.92. So, I don't care if you're making $10 an hour or $30....you are paying more. However, for many, this should mean tightening your belts, spending less, cutting unnecessary expenses, and making every thing count. What I am seeing/hearing, is that people aren't doing this. Instead they continue to live outside their means, putting food and fuel on credit cards, continuing to eat out, and waste money. Again, to me, common sense solutions do not change. I have trouble understanding why so many are still making poor decisions with their finances, and bitching they have no money. To me, this goes back to the definition of insanity...doing the same things over and over, and expecting different results. I just don't get it.

I am not trying to pick on anyone. I deal with some of these same processes in my own home. No matter how much I try to change some things, it comes back to "this is the way it's always done." I have tightened our finances. I have busted my butt to stock up and have emergency backups. I cut out any unnecessary expenses at every turn. I am juggling my books to get debts paid off instead of continuing to add to them. A few unexpected expenses have popped up as so much of what we have is older. Having to make repairs or replace items today, is so much higher than even 5 years ago. We have been fortunate to find a local business that has had what we've needed at a fair price. Other things, especially farm related items...we've not been as lucky. We get spoiled with convenience, just like everyone else. It's easier to eat out, buy a new item rather than fix the old, buy pre-made items rather than take more time to make them from scratch. As I said in a video several days back, just going to get a loaf of bread and not being able to get it when we wanted it...was a bit of a panic for me. It wasn't because I don't know how to make bread, it was because I had to figure out the extra time to not only make the bread, bake it, and do the extra dishes. I love to bake and cook. It's fun for me. But I have gotten into the same rat race everyone else has....being busy, just being busy; and not getting everything done. You get into busy mode, and end up so overwhelmed that you don't even know where to start. 

I'm in that position currently. I have so much that I want to get done, things I need to get done, things I have to, and just looking at the list is overwhelming. I know many that are in the same boat. I've gotten the "just pick something on the list and do it...that will be your starting point." Ok. That makes sense but when you have to constantly interrupt that thing, to do things you HAVE to do...you don't get anything done! Here's a perfect example: Yesterday, I had to make a trip for several things. I traveled an hour each direction, made all the stops in 3 separate towns, got home in time to feed our bottle lambs. I got that done, came inside and finished a load of laundry. I was tired and crabby to start with since I'm not sleeping well, again. I got all my inside animals fed and had to dig through freezers to get the meat out of supper. I picked up a handful of things, carried dirty glasses from the table to the kitchen, picked up dirty socks and folded blankets. Got the meat for supper put in the oven, and it was time to do my outside chores. No where in here could I have taught my daughter any actual teaching lessons(thankfully, a lot of her studies in the afternoons are self directed). I went out to feed my outside animals and had to not only clean up a few nests, give the ducks more straw, clean out the goats hay feeder and refill it, but realized my feed bucket was empty. By this time, it was 5, my husband was home. He refilled my goat feed, carried my trial bag of feed for my chickens to the coop, and watered my animals. I finished getting the eggs, and checking the health of all my critters, and headed inside. I came in, washed my hands and started cutting up the cabbage for supper. I did the dishes from the day and the night before. Got the cabbage frying. The guys finished up the outside chores and came in for a very brief conversation. The table got set, and we ate at like 8. Then the kids disappeared to their rooms, husband went to veg out with the noise box and Facebook, and sat in silence again. I finally sat in my recliner for about 30 minutes and went to bed about 9:30. This was just a single day. I don't have to leave the farm most days, but the schedules don't change much. My mornings, I leave free to actually verbally teach lessons, have my coffee, take 10 minutes on Facebook and checking messages before I'm up and running again. All of this said, is why I have fallen into the conveniences of pre-made food. This is all on me. I've let poor behavior slide in my home. I've let the excuses of "I work a full-time job," fly. Just because I don't get paid, I work multiple full-time jobs to make my family able to be lazy. Yep, I said it. I've allowed it. I don't sit at home, eating bon-bons, watching television everyday. I make their lives easier. I do all the dishes. I do the laundry, I make sure we always have food and meal plans. I make sure bills are paid. I make sure my kids are educated. I make sure that sheep are checked several times a day, and the bottle babies are fed. I make sure my family has what they need. I remind everyone of birthdays, anniversaries, and important dates. I listen to all their conversations, even if I don't always understand them. Then I escape into about 30 minutes of a good book, before crashing. I pray for them everyday, just as I do our extended families and beloved friends. 

This leads me to something I, myself need to set....boundaries! You see, many times we try to do everything we can to help others. Sometimes, at the expense of ourselves. We don't want to tell people no, or will give many chances for others to see "the error" of their ways. Guys, we cause our own grief by our own expectations. We need boundaries so we are not taken for granted or manipulated(even if unintentional). In my own experience, you take on too much trying to be everything for everyone, and you are the one to end up in exhaustion. While exhaustion is a physical feeling, it is also an emotional feeling. Emotional exhaustion is not helped with sleep or rest. When you are constantly taking in other's requests/demands, conversations, and even work...you will burn out. The more you take on your own shoulders, the more the emotional exhaustion and eventual resentment will set in. I can not tell you how many moms and wives I've talked to that have the exact statement: "I do everything for the kids and my husband, and they do nothing to help." While I do believe the state of society has a play into a lot things, I also believe that a lot of people have neglected to set and stick to boundaries. When you help someone, and they continue to demand more help. You do something for someone, and they just keep repeating the same behaviors and asking for more...this is no longer helping. This is becoming a repeat behavior that you are no longer helping but enabling their poor behaviors/decisions. You will end up in a recurring cycle that will hurt you. You have to set boundaries. You need to be able to say No more, and stick to it. That doesn't have to be mean or cruel, and it does not have to end relationships. It can simply be saying I wish you the best, but I'm no longer going to enable your poor decisions.

I am taking the rest of this week to set my own boundaries, make a working schedule, and making sure to take out the time I need to find balance everyday. My life is quite busy, but juggling 50 things a day by myself has worn me clear out. One of my goals for this year was to find time me...to be able to do some of the things I enjoy and want to do. Things I have not made the time for, for several years. This is why I don't set resolutions, you make them, you break them...and then forget them. Setting a goal means even if you fail to make it on your first attempt...you keep trying until you succeed.