Coffee Chat - Personal, Farm, and always more

 

My uneasy gut feelings have not eased but my shove into introspect is massive. I truly appreciate being instinctive but sometimes...I wish it was a little less dominate. I have struggled to find my voice in a few areas. I'm sure this is shocking to some, since voicing my opinions seems to come naturally. The truth is, some areas feel a little more like a ticking time bomb that I'm just a little more careful with. So, today, I'm going to dive into whatever decides to fly from my fingertips! Grab your coffee!! 😉

I recently had a dream that woke me up and was my catalyst to this inner review. I was standing with a group of people, that I considered my inner circle of friends. We were in a pretty intense conversation about events in the world. All of us had differing opinions, but it wasn't a friendship breaker...just an agree to disagree conversation. Anyway, of the handful of friends, I was asked what my opinion was and why I believed what I did. No one was rude, shallow or ignorant. We were truly just having a conversation. When I voiced my opinion and gave my reasoning, one of those I considered a true friend, went silent and then said nothing but walked away. The rest looked at each other wondering what had happened. When that person came back, they simply said You are just too much. You are not now nor could ever be, a good person to be around. You expect too much from everyone and I'm not able to handle it anymore.  And there it was. The rest went about talking like nothing happened. So, while I am a pretty vocal person, I was stunned by this. I woke up, wondering what was wrong with me. I have always tried to give loyalty, friendship and support to my friends that are close; without being demanding of their time or attention. It really weighed on my heart for a few days. I ended up writing in my journal to try to iron out what it all meant. 

The thing is, I am loyal to a fault. I am a bit much for most to handle because I don't jump through hoops for anyone. I do speak my mind, and if I'm ticked...everyone is going to know. I am, however, very cautious of who I let in my inner circle. Too many have played a game and have hurt me. Trust, in my eyes, rates up there with loyalty. Once one or both are broke, there is no going back. I've had too many in my life that end up using me for whatever is convenient at the time. It takes a while to build my trust. There are only 3 that have been close enough to stay in that inner circle for more than 20 years. I try not to be a shallow person. I thrive on deep conversations, intellect, and wonder. I struggle with surface type conversations. I just don't know how to do those. I attempt to be open minded, even on subjects I don't understand or agree with and if I know I am right...I will argue till I'm blue in the face. 

Any who, that dream was my shove into some reflecting. After nearly 2 weeks of feeling uneasy, I have to assume that it plays into this unease in some fashion. I firmly believe in intuition, so maybe it was a shove to look at some claiming to be friends that aren't so much? I haven't quite figured it out. I have eased off a lot of social media due to so much drama and false information. The only one I am on regularly anymore, is Telegram. 

My life is busy, just like everyone else's. I find being on our little farm is a safe haven for me. It brings me peace. Even though with all the rain, it is bringing flooding/mud/and really messy floors! I could sit with my ducks, chickens and goats for hours. They are peaceful, funny and relaxing. I love to see the sheep roaming the pasture and running to the barn when they hear my husband. They are, after all, his girls. I love to see my work in the garden, start to show signs of produce. We had fruit on our trees for the first time ever this year! The hail storm ended that rather quickly, but it gives me promise for next year. My grape vines are loaded this year! I'm hopeful to get to finally make some jelly from my own vines. I love to see the cows and calves wander to the fence when my son and "adopted" son get ready to feed them. I love knowing we have our own little resort right here on sight with our pool and firepit area. While there is a lot of maintenance to both, it's something I am proud of and happy for. Having the 3 kids here, they continually make me laugh. They are always telling me they love me, offering hugs, and thanking me for what I do. Even though that is not necessary, because I do what any good mom would, it is refreshing to know my efforts are not taken for granted. If I mention something that needs done, one of them is on it! With just 5 acres left to mow and bale, we have gotten ahead of the game this year....for the first time ever. We may even be able to get a second cutting on some of it. 

Since I am continuously doing something, I haven't spent much time out and about the past few months. I have had to resort back to lots of phone calls. The increased prices of everything have really kicked our budget already. The increase in fuel, commodity prices...all equate into higher gas prices at the pump, higher delivery prices, higher feed prices, and higher grocery prices. When incomes don't increase or decrease...that immediately eats into any budget. It's pretty sad to go from finally making ends meet to not in just a few months, but it is what it is, and I won't whine about it. I'm a fixer, not a whiner. 

For us, we homeschool year round. We decided to take July off to catch a breath and so I can get the next section of schooling planned. It's amazing how things change through the years. Not to mention the learning styles that are different from child to child. I love teaching them, and even though we have tough days...I wouldn't trade the bond it has built for the kids and I. As I have researched and learned, I have passed it on and encouraged my kids to continue learning also. I firmly believe education is something that should always continue. 

As I get ready to start my day, here's a few final thoughts for today. Each day, start it with a grateful heart. Send up a prayer of thanks. Each day we open our eyes is a blessing. No matter what struggles you face, you are here on Earth for a reason. Be kind to others. You never know what battles they are facing and you may be the only that is kind to them in their day. Life can be a juggle act, with several items in the air at all times, but it's no excuse to be a prick. You pick your battles, and let the rest work itself out. Life is about experiencing all the moments, not controlling them. Living a life of integrity, loyalty and blessings is possible for everyone, you just have to work towards it. 

For the love of God, Family, Friends and Country,

Salli

Regular People

 

Some days, I just get into a funk and nothing feels "right." A lot of people have seen through the years, that I mention feeling "off," or "something feels wrong." Usually, at some point I will be shoved into some major insightful introspect. This has been happening quite often for me lately. Whether it be through dreams, instinct or even something as simple as a conversation; something triggers me to withdraw and my thinking becomes extremely deeper and more spiritual. After days of these odd feels, last night/this morning, I woke up in that mind set again. Several thoughts, dreams and triggers were hit again that has driven me to reflect. So, here is a subject that regularly has my mind racing.

We are constantly ambushed with people telling us what to think, what to wear, who to "follow" and even how we should live. My problem with this is that we are not all on the same journey. Not even close! We have lost sight of our journey in life and become self-centered. Those with the means to be helpful and be true leaders, are some how regarded as the "authority." The problem with that is that they don't have a clue. While I am all for building yourself and doing well for your family, I have a massive issue with those "elites" claiming to know what is best, what is right and for whom should or shouldn't be allowed to succeed. We have celebrities, major league sports figures, athletes, media and even politicians deciding what we need, want or can have. It's like having a massive group of bullies. Those people that believe they speak for others. The thing is, THEY DON'T! They speak for themselves and their self-proclaimed famed and many times fortunes. 

I have lived in cities, towns and rural America. I can tell you that the needs of each location is exponentially different! While, in my eyes, each type of area has its own benefits and pitfalls, they are each very unique. A one size fits all is no bettered served in these areas than it is in any school. Every single person is different. Every single need, want or otherwise is different. The largest majority of people are good people. They want to support their family, have a home, a vehicle, and their freedom. They just want to live their lives without intrusion, without the constant struggle of finances, have time to enjoy their family, their friends and have a little money in their pockets after the bills are paid. So many people that have diarrhea of the mouth, have more money than brains. Many of them have taken on a pathetic worshipness from the general public. I don't find a need to idolize these people. When they have all the means to be good people...they gate their homes, they do nothing to help their communities, and some that claim to help...don't. They manage to make matters worse by their affiliations and conceit. When is the last time you saw some pro player out using a chain saw to cut up fallen trees from a tornado, or a politician helping to feed homeless in a soup kitchen(let alone providing the funding to do such), when is the last time one of these mouth pieces has stepped out of the limelight to serve their country? We have a group of very high paid losers in my opinion. 

Can you imagine any "celebrity" actually doing manual labor to help their community, to help in an meaningful way? All we hear from these people is how horrible our country is, how we should be grateful to have them as spokespeople, and how we should all listen to them because they know what they are talking about. I truly disagree...even many of those claiming to be truthers! Have you listened to any of them? I've heard enough to know there isn't much difference. While some of them, I do admire the work the do...many of them are pushing the boundary of being just like the other elites. When you hear them talking about their fancy cars, their fancy homes, fancy boats, and basically telling everyone that being impatient and being pissed off at the direction of our country....all the while, they aren't having to figure out which bills to pay because prices have skyrocketed, all while trying to figure out how to buy groceries because a major unexpected expense has wiped out the entire savings account. When the cost of fuel increases has wiped out your savings every week. Or how to make sure you don't lose everything you have worked for while some freak show appears to running our country. When real people have real fears, to hear these others in their glass highrises preaching about anything, is like nails on a chalkboard! 

I have been researching since March of last year. There has been so many things that have raised red flags for many years. Last year when we ended up having a forced layoff, from a virus of stupid things, I had time. After August of last year, that research got deep. I didn't have near the time but I made time as often as possible. Since November, it has been non-stop. So much of what we have been told, led to believe, and even our history books...have been lies. It's truly sad. It's even sadder that more people are refusing to do their own research. If the noise box or radio tell them, then that's the truth. Which is the biggest crock I've ever heard. When did Americans just roll over and die? This country was founded on the principals of being free. We have not been truly free for decades. Each day, more of our freedoms are taken away from us. Just one area, is the social media censorship. They way it has gone, is a complete silencing of the opposition which is truly communism. When did it become illegal to have differing opinions? When did it become acceptable to quit having conversations? When exactly did we become China/Cuba? When even those country leaders of questionable dictator status are questioning how Americans are being treated, you have to wonder what the hell is going on! 

I'm not hear to push my own views. That is never my wish. Just as I don't want others to push their views on me. However, I am here to raise alarm of too many being idolized for nothing more than having big mouths. I am truly just a person. I'm not on youtube, I don't fit the bill for political offices. I don't have a podcast, though I have considered it. I have a blog, and occassionally, it gives me an outlet to frustrations. I'm a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. My family has a small family farm that raises livestock, we work hard as a family, we sit down to dinner together nearly every night. We don't play games with real life or people. Our family will always be our number 1 priority, our extended families, God, country, friends, freedom, and our Constitutional rights. 

I'm tired of the bullshit games being played by politicians, celebs, media of all kinds, and the likes. Our country is damaged, but not beyond repair just yet. We the people have got to pull this together. We may have differing opinions, but we are not on opposites sides. We do not need to agree on everything to have a common goal - a country that is for the people and by the people...NOT those being bought and sold by corporations, foreign governments, and those with no moral values. Most people know right from wrong. If you don't, you need a Bible!!! A simple phrase I learned MANY years ago comes to mind, "be careful of those you step on to get to the top. They may be the ones you need a helping hand from you fall to the bottom." 

Salli