Blank Book-Changes....

As someone who thrives on following through with completion of my goals, I get very angry with myself when I don't meet those goals. I am my own worst critic and berate myself when a goal fails. I am fighting this today. As I said in my changes post, I plan to quit smoking. While I know many people who have quit successfully after just one try, I am not one of them. I have quit many times, but it has never lasted. I broke down yesterday afternoon, and just gave in. I know, for me this will be an on-going battle for a little while. If I have something to keep me occupied, it isn't so bad not smoking. It's when my mind and/or hands are idle that I have the most troubles. So while, I failed miserably at the cold turkey route, I am not going to allow myself to believe that I can't do it. I know it's an emotional as well as a mental and physical battle that I have to conquer to finally quit for good. I will do it, it's just not happening over night...as I wish I was capable of doing.

I need organization to feel like I have a handle on life. After a year and a half in our home, I still don't have that organization. It's taking a lot more time than I had planned on. Once again, it's not something I will allow myself to berate myself over, but it's a goal I need to meet for my own frame of mind. I really need some mental clarity time to reevaluate the best way to accomplish this goal. With the constant chaos, and issue after issue the past year, it's made me lose my footing even more.

I will accomplish my goals, it's just taking longer the older I get. I'm finding my ability to adapt to change is getting worse, so it takes me a lot longer to accept the changes, and adjust accordingly. I sure hope my determination holds out. Stay tuned!