2014 - Chapter 3...a look into my crazy life!

I am a firm believer in you receive what you put into the universe ten fold. Whether you intentionally put out negativity or if your reactions to circumstances end up bringing out the worst in you, you will in turn bring that negativity back to yourself. I also believe that we should be living, I mean really living, every single day. We only die once, but we live(or are supposed to) everyday.

For many years, I have taken great pride in being the positive soul I chose to be. Always, accepting that whatever was thrown at me, was done so, to teach me a lesson. I worked hard to turn adversity to my favor. So, as many of you that read this know, it is very difficult to deal with negativity that was being transmitted within myself. I spent almost the entire Winter depressed and off keel. I didn't know how to face it, let alone what to do to change it. I spent about 5 months going through the paces, pasting a smile on my face, and attempting to keep life going as normally as possible. Especially when I spent many days and nights in tears, and couldn't explain to anyone how I was feeling. I struggled through the holidays, usually my favorite time of the year. I even struggled through my youngest child's 5th birthday party. I lost interest in the few things I had that I really enjoyed. I began smoking more than I ever have, and became really short tempered with my family. I truly felt overwhelmed by everything. I don't know what brought this on, even to this day, but I know I am still struggling to pull out of it. What I can tell you, for many months I had very negative emotions/thoughts. I lost sight of the important people and things in my life. I fell into the notorious rut of just getting through each day. So, it hasn't really surprised me that I got so sick this Spring, nor has it really surprised me to still be sick now. In the past, meaning years ago, whenever I had negative emotions that lasted a while, I always ended up sick.

As I am still digging my way out of this rut, I am trying to relearn the simple tricks that had kept me so positive for so many years. Taking time each day to play...I mean really play with the kids, not just sit and watch them every time one will yell to "watch, Mom!" I mean, get on the floor and play, color, put puzzles together, shoot...just last night I spent 3 hours putting a Lego set together, and Sunday...I sat and blew bubbles for 2 hours and skipped through the yard. I have planted actual flowers in flower beds...something I said I wouldn't do. I went to a flea market specifically to find trash, that I could transform into something useful. I even spent yesterday out and about to go to my absolute least favorite store, let my kids eat crappy fast food and enjoyed their company and silly antics...instead of getting after them for every little thing they probably shouldn't have done. I walked through the toy section at Wal-Mart, and looked at it from my 5 year old's perspective and actually had fun. I listened to my 13 year old tell me all about his plans to become a good blacksmith, and to learn several trades. I listened as he told me about some people his age giving him static about the old trade he has chosen to pursue. His response to them..."When I get older, I want to be happy, and enjoy life. I do not want to work my life away and be miserable. I don't need to make a fortune...just enough to provide for what I need." This response is one that made this Mom very happy and feeling very proud of everything this young man has learned. To watch my son, dig through things that others may find as junk, and re purpose it into something he can use...that is a skill within itself, in my eyes. To watch my daughter's eyes light up when something she has wanted and waited patiently for, is finally hers. You know, it's funny but also humbling to me, that both of my kids understand the value of money but more importantly the worth of money. They both understand that to have things, you have to earn them. We do not just hand out money or things to our kids. They understand that it takes money for just about everything, but they also understand that there are things more important than money. They understand that to have what you want, you must work to earn it. By raising them the way that we are, they are much more respectful to not only people, but also to the things they have. They are being taught to have a mind of their own, and to think for themselves...not to just do or follow what everyone else does. They are able to voice their opinions, and our family discusses just about everything...as a family. Many people do not believe as we do, and that's ok. Everyone has their own way of handling things, but for our family, this works.

Life in our household is always chaotic at best! At least it has been for the past couple of years. We began a massive overhaul of our house this year. We bought a 25 yr. old manufactured home that had never been updated. I'm talking everything was original: carpet, windows, paneling, bathrooms, everything! Last September, we gutted the kitchen and redid it and put in custom cabinets. In February, we started on the master bedroom. We gutted it, took out walls and carpet, and began the work of reinstalling everything. It took 2 months and we are finally done. We redid all the plumbing to both vanities, the shower, the garden tub and the toilet. We rebuilt the closet and made it bigger, and put in new vanities, new shower, and a new toilet. We put in new floor tile, new window, and new insulation. It turned out well, but there were plenty of frustrations along the way. We just started on the overhaul of the master bedroom. It has been gutted, and all the carpet ripped out. We are putting in new insulation, drywall, new windows, new carpet and new lights. I hope it won't take more than about another week to finish! Then we move on to the living room and dining room, the other 2 bedrooms, a new addition, a new roof, new siding, new windows thru-out, a new furnace, and extending the deck. This is a massive project, but one that has to be done. We hadn't planned to have to do all of it at once, but this Winter proved to us that our home was very drafty and it got too cold in here for my likings!

We have worked very hard to do the right things, in the right way. We don't spend frivolously, and we don't try to keep up with anyone. However, we do what we need to do, to fit our life. Our lives revolve around the kids, our farm, and our little family. We try to help our extend families where and when we can. Even though we are relatively young, we think more as old souls than we do as people our age. We are more than happy to buy something we want second-hand. We do not live on credit, and all our debts could be paid in less than 5 years if we had to. We are very excited that our debts are being paid off, although it's a little at a time, and will be relieved when we are no longer indebted to anyone. Which is our ultimate goal.

I hope that my current schooling will help us achieve that goal in even less time. Since I am firmly rooted in the fact that no education is ever a waste(Thanks to my parents!), I strive to learn something new all the time. I am back in school, once again, this time to learn Medical Transcription Editing. It's not just Transcription, but also Editing that will allow for job opportunities even after the transition of the healthcare laws. It is something I have considered for many years, and finally decided to do. I have wanted to work for many years, but the cost of both of us working outside of home just didn't make sense. We wouldn't get anywhere, I would be working just to work. It is more important to me, to be a Mom first. This career will allow me to be home, but still earn an income around my kids schedules. I guess it's the best of both worlds.

The newest events in on our little farm, is our gardening. We decided to attempt some straw bale gardening this year. With conditioning and natural fertilizer, it should work rather well. Straw bales, once wet/fertilized, will hold heat and moisture. They provide many nutrients that are missing in soils today, and make it much easier to keep the garden weeded! Our straw bales this year will house: tomatoes, peppers, cabbage, carrots, beets, squash, cucumbers, green beans, horticulture beans and kidney beans. The straw bales will also help to regulate any excess water from the typical down pours we get in the Spring, and will help hold moisture during the heat of the Summer. The rest of the gardens will hold: corn, amaranth, 3 kinds of potatoes, sweet potatoes, pumpkins, watermelon, cantaloupe, gourds, onions, and whatever else I can cram into them! I am trying some gardening using old gutters this year as well. The gutters have: radishes, lettuce, chard and kale...so far. With all the gardening, comes the landscaping and fruit as well. We are planting several more trees this year(hopefully, some of them will survive, since none of the others have), more fruit trees, more strawberries, asparagus, and rhubarb. The landscaping will include a sand/dirt box for the kids, a swing set, and a fire pit area, not to mention new fence going up and gates at our driveway. I am anxious to see if we can get it all done before Winter again! :)

This is an update and look into my crazy life. Hopefully, you all are finding the refreshing hope of Spring!
~Sal~