It's always been difficult for me to let go of things when I get angry or frustrated with them. It doesn't matter if it's a situation or a person. It's easy for me to stew about something until I find a way of dealing with something in a manor that works for me. Sometimes, a situation or person, will put me under water(so to speak), for a long period of time. Then of course, you have things - situations or people, that just aggravate matters continually. Some of those things, just pile up over time until you just can not take any more.
One of the biggest lessons I am learning about myself, is that I have to take the time to process a situation before I deal with it. When it comes to people, I will be kind to everyone that is kind to me, but I get a pretty good sense about people; really quickly. I trust my instincts and even though I have shrugged them off in the past, I won't be doing that again. Too many times I have gotten a very strong instinct about a person or situation, and didn't listen to it. Whatever the situation or person that I have come across, has always proven it to be correct at a later time.
It's amazing to me how much we can learn just by observing and listening. I love just being quiet when people are talking. I listen to their words, their thoughts and if I am near them personally; I watch their behaviors while talking. People's eyes always give away their true feelings, at least for me. Observing someone in person, you can watch how their physical traits change whenever they talk about anything. It's easy for me, to see their true emotions this way. Watching how their demeanor changes as they speak, is always a tell tale sign of honesty, lies, love, adoration, respect, or any number of other emotions. You just have to pay attention and not focus solely on words.
I have always loved to sit back at any function that draws in a lot of people and just watch. People watching has always been interesting to me. The interactions of many equates to learning a lot about the person without every speaking to them. I spent several years going to the casino boats in Illinois, before they were allowed to be land based. I am not a gambler, so whomever I would go with, would be gambling and I would be people watching. I have always loved to be around people that were laughing, happy and genuinely nice. Some that went to the casinos were just that. They were laughing, having a good time, and they were nice to the employees; it didn't matter if they were a dealer, slot tech, or waitress. Then there were some that were nice to everyone but the waitress, or the ones that were only nice to a select few while treating the others very disrespectfully. After working with VIP's in a casino, you definitely saw all kinds! The way people treat others, when they don't realize people are watching, is a strong indication of who they are.
Accepting who you are as a person, has become a work in progress for me. As the donkey says in the movie Shrek; I am like an onion, I have many layers. My brain is in constant motion, deep thoughts are normal for me, shallow surface conversations bore me, and thinking outside the proverbial box is also normal for me. While I know that I was able to accept who I was years ago, that acceptance somewhere along the line, disappeared. Physically, I can't ever remember truly accepting myself, but on every other layer I did. Somewhere along the way, I lost respect and acceptance of myself in all layers. Somewhere, I began disrespecting every aspect of my life. Rather than engaging in intellectual conversations about how I ran my life, I became defensive and withdrawn. Rather than accepting that there are people that are too shallow to carry on a civilized, deep conversation; I allowed my own intelligence level to drop so those people could understand me. Instead of listening to my gut about people and their behaviors; I continued to be around them. Shallow conversations, shallow people and those who are less educated; were bringing me down to their level. Most people who have a creative way of thinking will tell you, when you think outside the box, very few will understand and everyone else will make you feel like you have a third eye growing out of your forehead! This is true! Not to mention those that are happy to berate you or "reeducate" on why you are screwing up your life. Honestly, I love being able to think outside the box. I love knowing that when a problem arises, I can see beyond just a few meager options, and be able to see limitless possibilities. My mind is a beautiful, albeit busy, place. Accepting that my mind, body, soul and spirit are such amazing qualities; is more than a bit freeing! While I am still trying to reeducate myself into accepting all parts of who I am; I am remembering more everyday! I am not only educated, but also posses intellect and wisdom. My body has plenty of flaws, but it's just a small layer of who I am. My soul may be restless, but it's finding its freedom again. My spirit is alive, well and soaring...even on bad days!
I can remember a high school class that I first heard the theory that those you spend the most time around, are the traits that will become prevalent in your life. I highly believe that I have been around some less than deserving! Raising our vibrational energy is very difficult when those you spend the most time around are operating on negative, low energy. For me, I always know the type of energy I'm around by the way I feel. If I am emotional drained, physically drained, and constantly defending myself in one form or another, or become too negative...I am around the wrong people. The people that help us to feel empowered, help us to feel uplifted, those that are not belittling your thoughts or way of life, and those that happy...those are the ones you want to be around. As someone who is sensitive to the vibrational energies put out by others, I am having to learn how to block out the negative of some around me, without completely shutting down. Shutting down is something I have done since I was a teenager. When things were too difficult to deal with, people in my life hurt me, or I just couldn't handle the negativity; I would shut down in one way or another. It was my coping mechanism. To some degree, it still is today. I believe we all shut down to some degree. Whether we become negative to match the attitudes around us, some have panic/anxiety attacks, some build walls to keep the pain(physical and emotional) out; these are all means of shutting down and a coping mechanism.
As I am researching, studying and relearning myself; I am learning so much about these coping mechanisms, defense mechanisms, and how not dealing with past emotional trauma can play into it all. So many people look at others, and their coping mechanisms as some sort of freak show. As soon as someone has an emotional overload, they are needing more something they are not getting, people begin to judge them. From my own personal observations, when people become negative or they become emotionally overloaded; those around them withdraw, or start belittling them. This is not only counter productive, but also ignorant. These overloaded people are needing something they aren't getting. Yes, there are some out there, that are just a dark personality but so many are not. There are some that just like attention, and will do whatever they must to get it. These are the ones I refer to as drama queens. They are typically not getting the attention they need, or they are getting the wrong type of attention. Then some of those negative nellys, are high maintenance and require a very special type of person to understand them.(I am not one of those!) Many times though, those who are overloaded are just trying to find their own place in this chaotic world.
We are inundate with information on any given day. Between the constant connection of the internet, the conflicting reports of media, diets of processed foods full of hormone changing chemicals, and too many living well outside their financial means; we are ambushed with emotional overload. The physical pain of these situations thrown in with some that use physical violence as a means of coping; many are running on overload, all the time! Almost everyone I have ever known, has some sort of coping mechanism in place. With all the information we receive on a daily basis, it becomes overwhelming to process it all. Some internalize their stress and that's how they deal with it(or technically don't). Some have some very frightening ways of coping, and some such as myself are talkers/writers. While I've read about people who damage their bodies as a coping mechanism, this is not something I understand. I do understand needing to talk through stresses, and writing as a release has helped me to cope. I do have some very thick walls around me too. Anytime you have a stress that is not dealt with, and fixed; those stresses will pile up an eat away at your ability to handle everything. The emotional strain of not dealing with a stress, will drag you under fairly quickly.
My own coping mechanisms are firmly in place. With such a busy mind, lack of productive and positive people around me on a regular basis, failure to deal with past hurts, too much "drama", and lack of a productive outlet for pent up energy; is a sure fire recipe for emotional overload! When so many are in constant fight or flight mode, you are inadvertently drawn into it too, especially if you spend a lot of time around those in that situation. When you are not accepting of your own personality and life, you end up feeling lost, trapped and living from one stress to the next. When you feel you have settled for less than you deserve, want, need or desire; you sink just a little further.
Vibrational energy within each of us has the ability to raise or lower our emotional energy. At our core, everything is energy. So when you feel your energy shift, you need to look at that shift for what it is. Is your energy shifting positively or negatively? Are the people you are around, shifting your energy one direction or the other? Shifting your emotional frequency, although easy, can be difficult. It does require each of us to recognize a shift in energy; a shift in thoughts. Think about those you spend time with. If a person or situation causes a negative shift in your energy, pay attention. The longer you spend time with the person or situation, the more that energy will increase. It does not matter if it's positive or negative. Raising our emotional energy is "simply" raising our standards of people and situations to be around. The more positive, successful people you are around; the more your own personal energy vibrations will increase, and the opposite will be true as well.
By learning to shift your energy, you also learn how to cope. There may be stresses that will drag you down for a short while, but those stresses will not hold you down. The ability to shift your energy, accept your circumstances, and fix them; will help to increase your vibrational energy. It will help to raise your own energy and put you into a much more positive state of mind. Emotional overload appears to happen when too many stresses are pile up without dealing with them. As a stress arises, deal with it, fix it, eliminate it...whatever you need to do to allow you to move forward.
Everything is energy and has it's own vibration. I encourage everyone to find your reflective vibration. Find a similar vibration to allow yourself a means of coping. Whether this is a walk in nature, doing something you love, spending time with the kind of people that will help increase your energy or spending time conversing with someone that raises your energy; this is what will help increase your energies and will help increase your ability to cope with situations that can bring you under stress.
Positive vibes,
Salli
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