Second Guessing

Allowing your intuition to guide you through each trial and tribulation will lead you to where you are intended to be. Second guessing each decision will ultimately, cause your decisions to waiver.



Growing up in a time when our parents dictated every move we made, changes perspective from the generations currently growing up. There were not options of listening or not, if you'd eat certain foods or not, if you carried passing grades or not, and for some; even the career path you went down was dictated. Obviously, there were a lot of other decisions decided upon by the parents of my own generation.

Many decisions my own parents made for me, I still enforce with my own children, but others I don't believe in. I struggled through my own childhood. Growing up in a family, learning to adapt to divorced parents, attempting to find my way into adulthood, and there were plenty of lessons learned. I have some pretty strong traditional values. I believe the evening meal is necessary to family bonds. In my family, sitting down to supper together, is highly important. It's when we can discuss our day, discuss everything in general. When we have our evening meal, typically those meals are family both related and adopted. We open our home and lives to those that we care for. I home educate my children. My husband and I, neither one grew up this way, but that was the direction our lives pushed us to. Now, I would not ever consider anything else. Getting an unbiased education, that includes life skills is too important. I grew up in a subdivision. My husband grew up on a farm. While my dad grew up on a farm and gardened a lot while I was growing up, that was not anything like the farm life my husband had. Since being married, I have learned that life, and would not want to live any other way now. Our little farm provided me with the security, safety, and means to be self sufficient. That is something that I know is important for me, and knowing I am able to give my family the best I can, is success in and of itself.

I have learned more than I could ever express in the past 18 years. Gardening became not just a hobby for vegetables to eat that day; it became a way of life that provided vegetables all winter long. Having livestock was more than just cute animals outdoors; it became a purpose. Having fresh beef, pork, chicken, and eggs that were grown right on our land, provided annual meat and eggs for our family. Knowing the horses were there to check fence, check ground, and just to ride for pleasure was freeing.

I know everyone is aware of the idea of preparing, or prepping as some refer to it. I don't believe in going overboard, but having a means of surviving if all hell does break loose is of utmost importance. Until the past 8 months, I had that security. I knew I had a food supply that would last my family from year to year. I knew I had the skills to live off the land if need be. Losing that security, throws a monkey wrench in the life of someone who is usually prepared for the "what if's" in my life.

Second guessing decisions is not a normal trait I possess. I typically jump in with both feet and learn to swim along the way. I'm not a wishy-washy person. I see an issue, I figure out a solution, and then I make it happen. Well, usually. Leaving my security, and allowing decisions to be made by someone else...took away the control factor I am used to. When I feel like I have some sort of control, I can handle anything. When I feel like there is no control, life spirals for me.

I get annoyed with people that have to second guess my decisions. I don't make them lightly. I do a lot of observing, a lot of listening, and when other people are involved, I watch how they act/respond. Although I am highly opinionated, I do listen to other points of view. That is how I make decisions...my own thoughts, educating myself, and hearing other points of view. My mind is in constant motion. Rarely do I have a single thought. Mostly, there are a dozen thoughts that do with each issue I face.

Finding another farm, that will provide me the security I need, is a high priority. I need that security but also that piece of mind. I grew to love the freedom I felt on our farm. Raising our own animals, growing our own vegetables, and a home that allowed plenty of room for all; is an adjustment I don't want to be permanent. Selling our farm up north, will give us a little more room to work with here. That is a chapter that I am ready to close and lock. Our lives have taken root here in the south. While there is still adjusting to the differences, the life itself here is remarkable.

As I grow personally, I have gotten to the point of being ready to let go of old. It's long past time to embrace the new, while incorporating my favorite parts of the old. I will have garden(s), eventually I will have the livestock with us again, and eventually there will be another farm with room to store all the preserved food, and fresh meat I can raise! Until then, I keep adapting and trying to relearn the art of going with the flow.

There isn't room for second guessing in my life. I know what I know, and that can't be changed. However, I can always learn more, and will do so willingly! I will leave the second guessing to those that would like to think they know something about my life. ;) They fall into the same category as those that like to talk behind others backs.

Have a great Wednesday all!
Salli