So, I have sat and redesigned my kitchen. I've made a list of new trees for the yard, new trees for a wind block, new flowers and flower beds, new fruit trees for the orchard, designed the new herb garden, and have a list of plants to put in containers to be able to move indoors during the cold months and some much needed green plants for indoors too. I got all my tax paperwork together, my taxes filed, my file cabinet emptied and ready for a new year, I've juggled numbers and planned out a budget that can possible work, I've sorted through several rooms and eliminated a lot of clutter. I've research some Feng Shui practices and items that may work for our home. I've taken quiet time to just feel my home, no noise, no television, no cellular phones or apps making racket. I've started making a list of items to put in each garden, and the possibility of 2 new gardens is looking positive. I'm making up the menu and grocery list for the next 2 weeks. I've got a list of things were damaged during our absence from our farm, and the estimated repair costs too. The kids and I have worked diligently to knock out school hours while all the surrounding schools have been out because of the weather. The guys have kept the outside animal houses full of straw, kept fresh water for all of them, kept the hydrant open, kept puppies warm, kept them all fed, and are keeping our wood supply in check so we can be warm as well. As the girls in the house keep the meals going, the sweets available, laundry done, and the house in some what of a respectable state. I am dreaming of beautiful gardens, baby chicks, green grass to walk barefoot through, flowering trees, and drinking coffee in the mornings on my deck.
It's been a difficult month in our neck of the woods. It's been cold, snowy, icy and brutal. I have been stuck at home for 3 weeks now, and I'm getting a bad case of Spring fever. We have not had this harsh of a Winter for several years. We have made several realizations this winter: 1. You can not effectively operate on a farm without a good, working tractor with a bucket, 2. Being together is truly wonderful, but too much of a good thing can be bad!
I have so many things I am wanting to do and get, but that requires driving..of which, I will not be doing until the roads are clear again. Our road is, as usual not taken care of. The ice rink that is our road, is only 9 miles but feels like it takes a month to get through because they neglect it so badly. I love living like we do, I can't imagine living any other way. The good with the bad, is what I look at regularly. There's usually only a month or two each year that I question the logic of it.
The past 11 months, have given me a true roller coaster of thoughts, emotions and events. Enough that I had to withdraw a lot just to be able to handle it all. We had snow last year until early May, I was blessed to be able to volunteer with a great group of veterans during a kayaking event in Arkansas, then came the month of June. June was a bit of chaos followed by complete chaos with my step-dad having surgery and due to complications spending 10 days in the hospital, of which they lived 6 hours from me, so I spent almost 2 weeks away from home. Then the end of June brought a surgery for my dad's carotid artery, and more complications. He lives 5 hours away, so I spent another 4 days away from home. Then July came with more chaos, and my mom and family moving into my house so I could help them through their medical issues. August brought my mom selling her house 6 hours away, living with us full time, getting their house packed and moved up here, not to mention July and August being a major canning time for our garden produce. September brought a lot of rain, mud, and continued chaos as my son turned 18, his annual party being cancelled and rescheduled, my best friend since high school finding that I don't live a million miles away and so began regular visits and the attempt to help me keep my sanity through so much chaos. October brought more of the same, and by November, I cracked. I completely broke down, cried for the first time in over a year, and began rebuilding. My mom got her new house here, they were able to move in, and get settled. I was dreading Christmas for the first time in my life, but I made our house look like National Lampoons. By December, I knew I would do whatever I needed to to make sure my family had a great Christmas, even though I was still in shambles myself. Then came my birthday. I think it's on the best I can remember for awhile. My Dad was here, my long time bestie and her son were here, and together with my family...they truly surprised the crap out of me. I loved it. New Year's Eve for us, is always lots of snack foods, New Year's Rockin Eve on the Television, and watching New York and the Midwest bring in the new year before going to bed. But then something changed.
I don't do resolutions, because I never keep up with them. Instead, I set my goals, reopened my imagination, took a look at some dreams that I had long ago pushed aside. I reopened my daily devotional book, I reopened my daily journal, and returned to my morning yoga and meditation...even if in shorter spurts, it's a start. Then something happened. My perspective changed. Yes, there is plenty of areas of issue, there is plenty of projects that need done, and there are plenty of areas that still frustrate me.....BUT, that's no longer my focus. My focus is on what I can do, what I want to do, where I want to go, and the steps needed to do it all. Friends, this has been 7 years in the making. It's not something that just happened. While I have you a brief outline of the past 11 months, my life has had 7 years of that constant chaos. While everything takes time, and fixing issues will not happen overnight, there is a clear path.
I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason. We are meant to grow and be grounded by trials, we are meant to learn from each obstacle that is placed in our path. If I can say I have learned just one single thing over the past 7 years of trials, it's that I need to trust my intuition. I need to trust my own voice, and my own thoughts. When I think about everything that has transpired through the years, there are plenty of lessons that I've learned, but there are so many that could have been avoided if I would just listen to myself!
As I have said before, my coffee chats will continue, but I'm back on track to get my crazy, wonderful, chaotic life back into your hands...and live my best and most productive life. I hope you'll continue reading, add comments when you wish, and come along on the amazingly eventful journey we call life!
Salli
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