When do you know that it's time to wave the white flag? Whether it be a relationship, a job, a hobby, or whatever; when do you walk away knowing you've done you're best? This thought has been on my mind all night. I work so hard to be everything to everyone, except myself. While I push through everything everyone else needs on a daily basis, and I keep telling myself that there will be time tomorrow for what I want, it just never seems to come to light.
I give everything I can, to everything I do; yet it's never enough. There's either someone demanding more, someone or something putting a monkey wrench in everything I try to accomplish, or there is this crazy push/pull dynamic that constantly has me questioning not if I am doing the right thing but the loyalties, intelligence, and ability of others. I'm a researcher, I'm a reader, and none of the information I get comes from the noise box...aka television.
I despise ignorance. When we have a constant and unending connection to information, ignorance is unacceptable. Instead too many of us get lazy. We base opinions on what the media tells us, we listen to those around us, or we just decide that we don't care. The problem here is that no one really checks on anything anymore. There is no follow up, there is no accountability for what is being done or not being done.
I have spent the better part of my adult life in some form of business environment. There are so many levels to business, that it can be overwhelming. It takes an entire team of people working toward a common goal, to make a business move forward. However, when you have even a single dent in that team work, it gets all out of whack. Every business has run into too many chiefs and not enough indians, at one point or another. The thing is, it takes a great team lead to show each just how intricate each subordinate is, and how their individual parts play into the grand goal. When too many have to fuel their ego, the entire team is bound for failure.
It takes dynamic skill to lead people, to reach goals, to communicate even on difficult subjects, and to keep ego out of it all. When you are willing to work your tail off; for the principal goal, only to find that goal is only achievable IF all parts of the team of willing to work together, and they aren't...it's distressing.
In life, there is always give and take. At times, giving 100% is the hardest thing you'll have to. Especially when you know it's not being appreciated, accepted or it's adding insult to injury. As someone who can compartmentalize emotions and energy, work from home, and good from bad...giving 100% can take it's mental toll. When you are unsure if the ground you are standing on is solid, or if you're about to have the rug ripped from under you; it's taxing. There have been many times and I'm sure there will be many more, when you want to wave a white flag, and just say "I'M DONE!" Then we get back to my original question. When do you pull that plug, or wave that white flag? When is enough, enough? When can you walk away knowing you've done your best, yet you are no longer able to take anymore? At what point is it quitting/giving up, as opposed to walking away from a no-win battle?
I suppose that life is always a bit of a roller coaster ride. As my beliefs take me on the occasional wild ride, I have been blessed enough to usually see the lesson of it all, eventually. Although, those in between moments can feel like hell, I truly believe that we are taken on these crazy rides to learn and grow. It can be very painful, but as humans, sometimes it takes these painful realizations to make us truly see what we were meant to see.
The Universe puts on paths, connects us with people and places that we are meant to be. Whether we realize it or not, everything that happens in our lives is meant to and meant to teach us or help us grow. We just have to be open to these lessons, have our eyes open to possibilities, and have the ability to let go of what isn't or doesn't work. Whether we know or understand it, we are in constant motion. The words, thoughts, and even our movements, or not only fluid but also in relation to each other. We have to accept that negativity is being spoon fed to us through the constant connections of television and cell phones, and even many people we are in contact with daily. We are not taught to lift ourselves up when so much is dragging us down. We are not taught that it's ok to disagree with what others believe and still be respectful.
As I began writing this days ago, and have just had to take the time to word it close to correctly. I believe I will end this one with this: Even if we disagree, I will respect you. We are a race of ever changing thoughts, needs and wants. I appreciate all the lessons the Universe has given me, even if they have had the tendency to knock me on my butt. I will always do what I believe to be my best in everything I do. When others find it necessary to degrade, belittle or slander me, I will not retaliate, but will pray that they are enlightened. I may be a bit too strong-willed for some, but the ones meant to be in my life, will stay and appreciate me for exactly who I am. Some come for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.
Salli
No comments:
Post a Comment