Final Coffee Chat 2020

2020 has been one hell of a year! To say I am ready to move on is an understatement!!! I know we have all experienced hardships, stress and concerns this year; but for me, there have been so many good things that have come about too. My family spent a lot of time discussing the best course of action for us. In our house, we have 3 of us that have severe allergies, and one that has an autoimmune disorder. So, the pre-existing conditions hit our family directly. For the first 2 weeks of March, we monitored the information, between research and listening to the news - I honestly felt scared. We made the decision to do a voluntary 2 week quarantine. That took on a life of its own for almost 6 months. After the 2 weeks was up, and more research revealed that there were too many inconsistencies, it was time for everyone to return to their lives. Well, by that point the media had everyone in a panic and the country was all but shut down. My husband was informed he was laid off indefinitely, even though his work was considered an "essential" one. My son went back to work, and dealt with the public daily. My work, almost all fundraisers were shut down. So, we had to deal with unemployment, for the first time in our 22 years together. That turned out to be a massive cluster! Thankfully, the extra unemployment that so many complained about, you know...the one that supposedly had gone to those that didn't need that because it was more than they were making at their jobs, well...fortunately, for us, it held us within $50 of my husband's weekly income. Since they go back 2 years to determine your unemployment amount...we would have been screwed without the extra. So, we did have to budget a lot tighter, but having my husband home for so many months, allowed us to get a lot of projects done that we hadn't had time to do before. So, there is that. There are several projects we didn't get to or couldn't afford this year, so we are hoping next year will allow that. This has also been a year of massive division. It saddens me so much to see it. I don't believe we all that far apart in our beliefs, but we are being played and antagonized into arguing amongst ourselves. Sure, there are different beliefs, we'd all be pretty boring if there weren't. Everyone having different beliefs, being able to express those vocally, and not be punished is part of what makes America great! Don't get me wrong, I am not a huge fan of our President. However, I am smart enough and accepting enough to know he has done some good things, I'd been an idiot not to. I don't play the party card. I believe both parties are corrupt and pathetic. I actually research information, and I DO NOT watch the news. I believe the media has made mountains out of mole hills more times than not. Does our country have problems, of course. You'd be an idiot not to see that. Understanding that I am NOT a Democrat, nor am I a Republican; I still do as I was taught to do growing up. I research, I read, I question EVERYTHING! This year has proven to me though, that many have chosen party, class, religion, gender, race, or sexuality; over being an American. You see, I grew up in home and family surrounded by veterans and soldiers. I grew up in a time that was pretty quiet until I reached high school. During my high school years, Operation Desert Storm occured. We had soldiers that came to our school to tell us about their deployments and the importance of American freedom. My Grandfathers, my Dad, MANY relatives and friends served in the American Military. These were a class of Americans that not only have my complete respect today, but had it my entire life. Unfortunately, I was unable to serve, but not for a lack of trying. I was brought up in a home where you respected the law, you respected police officers, you respected your elders, you respected the President(even if you disagreed with him), you saluted the American flag and the national anthem. Had I behaved, as some do today, I would not be here to be disgusted by some of these behaviors! You took your responsiblilities very serious. You worked a job or jobs, you took care of your family and extended family, you didn't blame anyone but yourself for poor behavior or "bad luck," and talking politics or religion was forbidden. You kept your life to yourself. No one outside of your home was privy to any information. As it should be! In my years on this Earth, it has become evident that changes are inevitable but not all "advancements" truly are. We got internet and computers when I was in high school. It was supposed to be the information highway. It was advertised as a means to allow unlimited knowledge to the masses. Many were excited to get it and truly believed that access to so much information would make the greater population smarter. Sadly, I believe it has done just the opposite. We have a wealth of information at our fingertips, faster than any other time since its invention, and so many still neglect to get the facts or research. Instead we focus on social media, failed and manulative media sources, failed, manulative and corrupt talking heads. Seriously, I can not be the only one that believes politicians that have spent 20+ years in office are the true problem?! We have been manipulated into believing that whomever serves 4-8 years as President is the problem, yet neglect to look further down the ladder into our House and Senate where these people spend more than 20 years in office...constantly blaming someone else for issues facing our country. Let's not forget their massive lack of financial sense! These House and Senate personnel have to approve or deny the annual budget for our country. We, as a country, are more than $24 TRILLION dollars in debt. How in the hell did we get to that level??? It sure wasn't the man that has served for 4 years. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for the Trump haters. This debt has accumulating for DECADES!!! So, we are now supposed to be happy for the possibility of a man who HAS been in the Congress for 47 years, who WAS part of the problem?! Sorry, I will not be accepting nor happy about this. Do I believe that there was fraud involved in the 2020 elections? Well, duh!!!! Fraudulent voting practices have been going on for Decades. Just in the years I have been of legal age to vote, I have seen it. Can we say, hanging chads? I believe this year, however, the fraud and massive issues are due to power and greed! As I've said, I am not a huge fan of President Trump. I think he's arrogant, and a big mouth. I do however, believe he has attempted to work FOR the American people, NOT our corrupt political circus...and that is the problem. He can not be bought or sold, he calls the hypocrits out and lacks a brain-to-mouth filter. After so many smooth talking snakes, it is hard to adjust to just a guy who is not a politician but a business man, and an American. One who has done so many incredible things that, without digging into it all, you will NEVER hear about. I know there are many that will never agree with me, or even admit to any of the good things our current President has done, and really...that is their issue, not mine. I was raised to know there are always 2 sides to every story and there is a lot of things that go on behind closed doors that the general public will never know. Politically, I get on many soap boxes. Not to argue with others, but to try to make people look at both sides to a story. The problem that has arisen this year is that no one wants to consider any view besides their own. It reminds me of the phrase, "everyone has a right but no one wants to take the responsibility." As I have said before, I am not a Democrat nor a Republican. I'm an American and a Constitutionalist. I firmly believe in limited government, fiscal responsibility, states rights, medical freedoms, educational freedoms, uncensored/unbiased news, and of course, Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This was the intent of the founding fathers; and due to continued lack of self-responsibility, we have gotten away from. I've been told several times, by people that disagree with me, that they don't need a history lesson. I disagree!! I believe that some true history lessons, is exactly what a lot of people need. History is not there to be earsed. It is there to learn from, so we don't keep making the same mistakes. Honestly, if you can not try to see both sides of any issue, you are adding to the problem. While this will be a whole other soap box, it is caused by the political arena. Welfare. Originally, the government program was intended to be a hand up for those that fell on hard times. Through it's life span, it has become a hand out. The program has been abused and has resulted in generations of unproductive members of society. We, as a country, have allowed this. Rather than educating and empowering our people, we have given handouts to keep them poor, miserable and dependant. We have spent decades keeping our citizens dependent on government support and handouts, demanding that those working pay taxes to cover those not working. Demanding that those with health insurance pay for those who do not, demanding that the government provide for individuals poor choices. I have no problem with those getting a hand up when they hit hard times. I do have problem with those that abuse the system, keep having children to get more governmental help, and those that spend a lifetime living off the government. I believe in breaking the cycle. The only people that do break the cycle, are the ones that truly want to be better and do better for themselves. They don't let obsticles deter them, they work harder to achieve their goals, and they see a better future. Those are the type of people this country needs! It is not the government that pays for all these "free" handouts! It is the Americans that bust their ass each and every day to take care of their family, pay their bills, and pay an enormous amount in taxes to a government that no long represents ALL of its people. If you depend on government hand outs, you can bet that same governemnt is giving those hand outs, just to keep you poor, broke, and needy. They are not trying to help you. They need you to depend on those hand outs, so you will keep voting for them, to get more hand outs. Those hand outs, are coming from HARD WORKING AMERICANS!!! Take the challenge to break the cycle! You deserve it!! As our country is facing such a backlash in our current election, and a massive debt, it raises the question...when are all Americans going to get fed up with being enslaved to a bunch of elected officials that are do not care about us?! Researching as I do, there is plenty of evidence of fraud in this election. You would have to be blind not to see it. However, my fears with this election are not geared towards party so much as towards the politicians. Joe Biden has been in office for 47 years!!! This should be criminal! Do you realize we have roughly 50 members of the House or Senate that have held those offices for 20+ YEARS!!! This is part of the reason why we have so many many issues! Do you even know who your representatives are or what they have or have not done to help you or your district? I honestly don't give 2 shits what party they claim to be in, if they have served more than 18 years, they need to be thrown out with no pension other than social security, no lavish fringe benefits, no health insurance other than that of the American people, and they need to return to their districts to become productive members of those districts. I have read so many social media posts, some are lies, some are "fact-checked" - which anyone with a brain now knows is the truth that's trying to be brushed under a rug. The thing is, so many are banking on all this "free" stuff that has been promised, that the Democratic party is going to fix racism and level the playing field, and the polticians in control of that party have a long standing of being full of shit. Now, don't get me wrong, the Republicans that have had so much power for so long are full of shit too! Let's take a look. You have McConnell who is a Republican, has "served" for 35 years. He is your typical old, senile, entitled piece of shit. He couldn't find a backbone if you handed it to him. Then you have Nancy Pelosi; another old, senile, entitled piece of shit. Between her alcohol problem, and being bat shit crazy; she has held a paid political position since 1987! For those with math problems, that's 33 years!! Then you have MAxine Waters-29 years, Don Young-47 years, Patrick LEahy-45 years, Chuck Grassley-45 years, Ed Markey-44 years, Chuck Schumer-39 years,Steny Hoyer-39 years, Richard Durbin-37 years, Dianne Feinstein-28 years, and of course, Joe Biden-47 years. These are just a few!!! Americans are being played by these politicians and so many are buying into it lock, stock and barrel! Not to mention that this game they are playing is dividing us; as friends and families. Do you think they don't know what they are doing? These people are educated idiots, but they are using this division to broaden their power. Think about this, please! Do you believe ANY of these people could do your job, manage your budget, take care of your children, let alone truly care about anything besides themselves?! Our federal government bankrupted a brothel/bar for God's sakes! They have managed to destroy the postal system, commit fraud in every area they have touched, and now...NOW, they baiting our citizens against each other for their own gain. I am so grateful every day that we can all have different opinions and livestyles but when you force your opinions and lifestyles on others is where I draw a line. I could never nor would I want to tell someone that because they chose a life different from mine; that they were wrong. It may be wrong in my eyes, but I am not the one who has to live with those choices. I am not the one who has to answer for those choices. I do my best to live by the theory of to each their own. I know people that judge based on skin color, religion, gender, etc. I am not that way. If you are a good person, kind, civilized and otherwise, I will treat you with respect. If you behave like a heathen, you will be treated as such. I believe you are free to love who you love, if you choose to riddle your body with alcohol or drugs you need help but that's your choice. If you choose to use your body as an art canvas, that too is your choice, just understand that some choices won't heal shut and you will be looked at like a scary person. If you choose to get married, you better be ready for one hell of a ride. Marriage is not fun and games, and half of anything is only in divorce...marriage takes 100% from people or it will not work. You better work on communication skills too! Jobs are a requirement, but so is living. That job will replace you in a heartbeat but your loved ones won't and they won't be around forever. Those friendships that have been tested because of differing friendships, may just be some of the truest friends you will ever have, so be careful how far away you push them...some may not return. Your children will grow up before you realize it. Take heart that even those most trying, sleepless days that they will not last forever. It may seem like it, and may even feel like it. But in the blink of an eye, those colicky babies, those teething fevers, the terrible 2's and teenage years; when they are over and your kids are now young adults, it happens so quickly. When you are no longer tripping on toys, or trying to find the season's best toy, the newest toys or videos, to not buying toys anymore, the house always stays cleaner, you no longer hear "Mom" every second - you will miss it!! I am there now. My life is so different from most that I know. I know, there are many similar. I'm going to say this laughing, because where and when I grew up, the towns I lived in weren't much different than our closest towns here, but I was a "town" kid. We had more fields and farms than town at the time, but I didn't grow up on a farm. I grew up with everything pretty close and convenient. We weren't really dirt poor, but poor none-the-less. I did not grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, that's for sure. My family has always had to work hard for anything we had. My parents divorced when I was 11, and it was a messy/ugly divorce. I lived the life of bouncing from one house and one set of rules to another. The ideas of today with co-parenting, yeah that would have been nice when I was a kid! Anyway, I am old enough that we played outside with hot wheels car, tonka trucks, popping tar bubbles in the road, and riding bikes. We lived in a subdivision most of my life, and all the neighbors watched out for all the kids. When the street lights came on or parents yelled, you got your butts home. Meals were cooked, and you didn't have an option...you ate whatever it was. You were taught that talking to elders meant saying "yes, ma'am or yes, sir." And talking back, holy cow, that meant either having your mouth washed out with soap, or needing a dentist! You didn't dare get in trouble with the law, because honestly, once the officers were done with you, your parents were 10 times worse! If you got in trouble, you got your ass handed to you....switches, belts, or boards. The principal at school had permission to beat your ass if you acted up at school, and then you'd get it again when you got home! You knew better than to get involved in any adult group conversations, that was ingrained! Bullies were put in their places, by those that were being bullied. There was none of this molly coddling of today. If you bullied someone, they were told to fight back. It stopped those bullies in their tracks. College was a luxury. That was for the rich or the intellectly gifted. Otherwise, you were taught trades and skills. Something that is in serious need today. Besides, college is not for everyone. We didn't have hours at school, only to get home and have hours of homework. School was done at school. Once you got home, you were expected to help at home. Extra curricular activities were limited. Many parents believed that one or two was fine but expected those to be limited so there was time with family. Something that is severely lacking today. We weren't scheduled for every second of every day. Babysitters were few and far between, unless for going to work. You didn't hire a sitter just to go drinking, partying or just because. However, a sitter for the kids, when the adults needed a break was acceptable. While I have raised my kids a lot like I was, the spankings and not being allowed an opinion are different. My parents divorce was difficult for me, but ramifications from it have not shown up until much later in life. I know many kids have lived with divorced parents, and I am just one in a massive list. I am thankful that my kids have not had to experience that. I would hope that if they ever did, that my husband and I could work together. Next up, aging. I have to laugh when people take issue with their ages or birthdays. I love my birthday! I truly do! I just turned 46. I have been blessed with another year, and another birthday. Hitting this mid-life mark, has brought on so many different things for me. It really started changing me about 7 years ago, but this year has kicked it in overdrive. Most of the women I know, about my age, have begun with our next phase in womanhood. Menopause. Let me tell you, this phase is throwing me one curve ball after another! You've heard of the mid-life crisis, I'm there! Holy crap, is this crazy! You don't know from minute to minute, let alone from second to second, what your mood will be; let alone battling your body to do what you've always done but now you get opposite results! I question every move I make, I question everything naturally, but this is extreme! I am constantly weighing my thoughts, wondering if I am making decisions because of a mood or because I want to, and the constant battle within to not lash out at people for their irresponsible behaviors, disrespect, or sheer ignorance is REAL! Wanting some people close, but not too close, and wanting others to just go away. Sadly, I've heard other women say it feels like puberty only we're older. That's not too far off. I've found myself weighing my words, biting my tongue, and just letting stupidity go, rather than my usual bluntness. Arguing about anything seems to be more trouble than it's worth, but if I do...it will be bad. I'm finding my house quieter since my kids are older and no longer need me every second. Again, this is not always good. Idle minds and idle hands create many problems. I'm no longer tripping all over toys, but I'm missing those precious moments of feeling needed. I've been maturing in spirituality but finding questions without answers or being told to attend a church...I do not believe that is the best choice for me. I have reached out friends and collegues in the medical field for suggests to dealing with everything I have dealt with, reached out to professionals to help put to rest old ghosts. I have a few still to reach out to with other areas, but this phase of life, is a bit overwhelming some days. As we are getting ready to put this turbulent year behind us, I hope that each of you will find the lessons we have been taught this year, that you can find the blessings of the year, and know that each of us is on a path...they are not all meant to be same. 2020 is ending, and it is up to us to bring peace, compassion, acceptance and blessings to ourselves and our loved ones. I hope you all will do everything possible to make 2021, a beautiful year. Open your windows and doors to allow the old out and the new in, sage your house for new positive energy, say a prayer for your family, and our country. Life is so short, enjoy every single minute you can! Warmest Wishes, Salli

Coffee Chat

Two weeks until Christmas Day. It's hard to believe how fast, yet slow, this year has passed. While it feels this year has taken seven to get through, it doesn't feel as if it should be more than about April. So many things have happened this year, changed this year, and yet it is as if everything has just stopped. The very essence of human spirit has been trampled on. It's sad and angering to see. Humans, by nature, are social beings. Think about it. We have family units that we interact with, sometimes daily and other times not as much. We have friendships, relationships and employment that require this interaction. 2020, however, has starkly limited to completely eliminated the ability of many to take part in these interactions. A large percent of our activities have been canceled, closed, or in many cases permanently closed. Everything from sporting events, to music events, to shows, and clear down to local school and events. Many people have either been laid off or let go from their jobs, and many small businesses have had to close their doors for good. So many livelihoods have completely been annihilated. Not to mention the mental health decline in so many from the isolations. I have been a sounding board for many that are struggling with the depression, loneliness and even some aggression of being forced to isolate or a lack of events to do to keep their emotion on level ground. We all try to what we can to keep healthy, to not make others ill, or to lead productive lives; but the past 9 months have taken a serious toll. We struggle with viruses every year. Whether it's influenza A or B, or Covid 19. Sure we want to protect everyone and end all deaths from any illness...but realistically, that is not possible. We have become terrified of germs, viruses and illness. To a point of extremism. I get it. I hate illness and get a little panicky when one shows it's ugly head. However, for 9 months, we have been on house arrest for a virus with a 99% chance of recovery(yes, even with pre-existing diseases), and now we are hearing a possible forced vaccine with a 94% chance of recovery. I personally will choose to feed my immune system everything healthy I can and take my chance on my own body. Does that make me selfish, NO! While some will say yes, that is their right to believe. Taking care of myself, and my family does not make me selfish, it is my right. If we get sick, we stay away from others. If we can carry a virus and spread it...that makes us just like everyone else. Am I going to just completely stop living for fear of spreading something I don't even know I have, hell no. This happens every single day - even before COVID 19. Think about it. How many times have we sent our kids to school, only to have some illness manifest in our children that they have now brought home to us. I know when I had kids in school, we had boughts of the flu every single year, and guess what...no kids in school, no illness until another child went into the school system and then we had the "flu" again. So, does this mean we need to shutter the schools permanently? For illness, I say no. Send the kids to school. They are germ magnets anyway. We can not build our immunes systems by living in sterile environments. We can not build immunity to illness through sterility. Yes, we should have been teaching hand washing and proper hygiene all along...I mean really, who does not wash their hands, clean their homes, or shower?! The thought that closing down the entire country over a virus, that has to run its course and can not be medicated against(as with ANY virus), has a 99% recovery rate even amongst the most diseased, and you have to have a swab shoved into your brain to even know if you have it - if you aren't showing symptoms?! Stop buying into the fear, the constant reporting and the ever changing "science". We are, by nature, social. However, even those lacking in IQ should understand if you are sick or not feeling well, you stay home. Instead of locking everyone up, we should be fostering compassion for those who are ill. We should have employers that will allow us to have paid sick days or personal days, so we can feel better, without losing the needed income to pay bills or buy groceries. We, as society, should be smart enough to know that if you don't feel well, you are running a fever; YOU STAY HOME. The problem comes in when so many have abused the sick/personal days, the schools have adopted a maximum number of missed days without a doctor excuse(which can take as much as 6 weeks to even get in), and too many have become dependant on government. Come on people, stop and think, just a bit. We have been forced to limit interactions for 9 months. Limited time with family, limited time with friends, no social interactions...this is killing ten times more people than this virus has. Think about those elders in nursing homes that have passed away, ALONE, and without seeing their loved ones. No last hugs, no last words of wisdom, what the hell is wrong with this picture! If it was my loved one being held hostage by this, I would be pissed and throwing one hell of a fit! They are not hostages, they are not imprisoned. Just stop already! If they are ill, let them have their own space to recover, but stop abusing our elders! Stop!!! This is criminal! I am all for using caution, limiting some interactions, and using my own brain to determine what is best for myself and my family. I don't need nor do I want any government, federal or local, telling me how to live my life. This is an exteme misuse and abuse of power. If I had to estimate, 95% of all "mandates" the past 9 months, have been unconstitutional and criminal. The government does not have this authority. These are not laws, but mandates. Learn the differnece. I bought into the media hype for about 3 weeks. Then I did my own research, my own investigating and educated myself. At one point, this is what Americans did, before we believed everything media, social media and even doctors told us. Think about it. When I was facing cancer, I got a second opinion before I ever agreed to surgery or treatment. I have always researched everything. If I didn't know something to be absolute, I researched, I educated myself, and I learned. That is why I still learn every single day! Turn off the tv, turn off your electronic devices. Get outdoors, go to the library, or just get involved in your community. Our elders are a wealth of knowledge, those 70+ can tell you so much, teach you so much and their stories make sense. Make it a priority to learn something new every day. Go back to the library and find those pre-1980's books, talk to the elders in your community, dig out those old encyclapedias that have collected dust. That's where you will find the information uncensored and you can pass that information down to your own family. I have struggled to stay off my soap boxes this year. The problem comes in when it has become acceptable to be disrespectable. So many can tear you to shreds online because your opinion differs from theirs. Several times this year, I have received some pretty nasty emails, comments and yes even phone calls; because I choose to think for myself. This is unacceptable, and is the very definition of online bullying. While I was raised with "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me," apparently, there are MANY that now believe otherwise. Suddenly, everyone is offended by something and they demand their feelings be reparated. So, it has become acceptable to force your feelings and demands like a hostage situation. So, I am not supposed to have feelings because they differ from yours, kind of like the Constitutional rights that are now offensive? Freedom of speech - yet we are being censored on social media, freedom to bear arms - yet politicians are constantly trying to infringe on, right to fair and free elections - which even several Democrats have said did not happen, freedom in general - which has been taken away by several in federal and state governments, freedom of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness - which can not happen when business owners are forced to close their doors, citizens are forced to give up their rights, and forced to stop working towards their happiness. I will be first to say, I have had it up to my eyeballs with politics and politicians in BOTH parties. I am not a huge fan of our President, however, I do not understand how you can blame a man who has spent 4 years in the office for ignorance that has been happening for 50 years in politics. When you allow politicians to have too much power, from either party, they will become corrupt! These people are supposed to be elected by us, to work FOR us, NOT control us. This goes against every grain of our Constitution. We have politicians in office now, that have been there 20-60 years! Yet, a president can't be there more than 8 for fear of too much power?! We need stringent term limits throughout our elected officials, retroactive! 2 terms, and done! No life long pensions, no special benefits, and no exceptions! These people are being elected, not only making lifelong pensions with Cadillac benefits, but they receive lobbyist money, kick backs from corporations for pushing policies, and they become millionaires off OUR tax money, while constantly raising the taxes, making laws they don't have to abide by, and stealing from Social Security and draining it of all the tax dollars we pay in - only to call it an entitlement...yet we are not allowed to opt out of it. It's criminal at best! I firmly believe we, as individuals, need to care for ourselves. The theory of not being able to pour from an empty cup, is very accurate. However, we have forgotten how to balance life. Many of us rush from job, to home, to spouse, to children, to event, to whatever else. We have forgotten how to slow down. We have come to believe if we are constantly busy, we are productive. That is no where even close to accuate. Obviously, 2020 has been stupid, but when is the last time you took time to actually sit down with a friend, spend a few days, and just enjoy each others company? When is the last time you stopped rushing to read a real book? When is the last time you took more than just a few minutes to actually listen to hear when someone was talking, instead of listening to respond? Finding balance can be tiresome, frustrating and maddening! I am seriously guilty of a lot of this. I rush, find myself being busy doing things that either don't matter or can wait a bit. I find myself hearing just enough of a conversation to respond but not listening well enough to actually process it. If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know my love/hate relationship with technology. I depend on it, since a lot of my work is done from home, my phone is constantly ringing, my days are planned out months in advance, my nights have become chaotic snipits of my days, listening skills have become severely diminshed, and it has become easier to just do everything myself because no one else listens or hears anyway. So, I take on the stress of my world, alone, and build up resentment, anger and irritation to a point of boiling. It's not healthy for me or anyone else. It's easier to hold it all back, as opposed to actually voicing it, and causing arguements or disagreements. The thing is, it's only easier in the moment. It's after-the-fact, that it causes problems. It's the resentments for things others don't realize they have done because I haven't said anything, it's anger that I am doing everything myself because I won't ask for help because no one is ever there when I need it anyway. It's frustrating because I want to say something but rocking the boat to speak up is just not worth the headache that will ensue. I'm guilty...probably to a maximum level. I strive to help others, be there when others need it, do what I can to available. However, there are so many that are not of the same mindset. We all become selfish at times, and ask what about me? Yes, this is a pity party, and I have found myself in it from time to time. I have had to retrain my thought process. This becomes really difficult when so many push your buttons through guilt trips or expectations of what you have always done. Manipulation and Guilt is really the pandemic of our current time. When you don't do what some believe you should, you make your own decisions, you take time to learn or just for yourself; you are desicrated as a person/individual. Being here at a beautiful time of year, so many are struggling with depression. Yet, another snowball effect of 9 months of isolations. Even those that love this holiday season, normally, are depressed and dreading it. I am going to encourage everyone to do something kind everyday, for someone else, without all the recognition, lights and glory. Do something just because it's the right thing to do. By someone coffee, pay for the meal of the car behind you, make a donation to your local food pantry, purchase a gift off the angel tree, make a donation to a good cause. If you are going to donate to a charity or foundation, find one that actually follows it's mission...not those that all their income goes to paying high salaries. I am going to touch on one more subject. Community. We are always hearing people talk about changing the world. Personally, I would say start within your own community first. Why? These are people we know, many of our kids have grown up together, many of us have or currently are working in our community; anything we do within our communities helps us all. Whenever possible shop within your local community. Supporting these local businesses keep not only jobs, but tax dollars, and local business alive. You may pay a little more, but if you consider the cost of commuting and extra time...you probably won't save anything going outside your community. Small businesses still have personal touches, like knowing your name, your children, and maybe even your family. That money you spend in a local business, stays in your community. Whether it helps the business owner put food on their table, take care of their family or just the taxes they pay in, you are helping. If you choose to shop big box stores, you are forcing out the small businesses. They can't compete on that scale. Let's focus on helping our communities, and in turn you are changing the world around you. Look out for the safety of those in your community, especially the kids. Get involved in community events, before they are no longer there. Living in a small community, I have seen the effects that the corporate stores have imposed. So many small businesses have closed, and think about this...remember when you could go to a mall and have 60 different stores to look in, shop in and decide where you wanted to spend your hard earned money? We have lost so many of those stores, to places like Wal-Mart, Amazon, Menards, Etc. If we don't change our mindset, we will have no more options, and no more small businesses. We have a responsibility to our local communities. It's time to start local and fix this. So, as my computer battery is dying, I will end with this... I am struggling this year, like so many, to find much in the line of Christmas spirit. I am struggling to keep my own judgements to myself. I am going back to my thought of to each their own, but don't push your own on me. My life is just as valuable as the next, but not anymore than anyone else's. You have your beliefs, I have mine. Neither of us are completely right nor completely wrong. We are just free to have those opinions. I have spent a lot in my local communities this year, and will continue to do so. I am working to get more involved in local events. I am taking care of my family, our household and doing the best we can with what we have to work with. I have flaws just like everyone else, and that is what makes each of us unique and special. Life goes on whether we participate or not. I am choosing to live rather than just exist. Have a great end of the year! Salli

My experiences, a bit controversial and a bit of humor.

A scenerio from my perspective, and I'm sure there will be plenty that will argue this, and that's fine. It's your choice how you choose to deal with all the insanity. I'm looking at this through my own experiences. While I am trying to show the insanity of all this crap, I am trying to make some light of it too. Seriously folks, be careful but stop living like you've already died. Yesterday, another state governor chose to disregard their constituents Constitutional rights, not to mention "mandating" how they run their lives. This governor is republican, so don't give me crap about the political party B.S. Both parties are faulty and neither party is respecting our Constitution anymore. That's a soap box for another day. ANYWAY, you decide to go to a store. Whether that be for groceries, necessities, or just because you've been on house arrest for 8 months. You dutifully wear your mask, and stay at the safe distance of 6 feet apart. Good job for following the rules. Here's where I start scratching my head. All those shopping carts are herded and "wiped down." Yeah right. Have you truly ever watched a Wal-Mart employee? They half ass everything, at best. You take your cart, you follow the acceptable arrows on the floor, to your first item. You reach out and grab that item(which has been touched by how many others before you), and put it in the basket...which has not been wiped down. You go on, responsibly following the arrows and getting the items you are after, each one going from the shelf to your hands, to your basket. Somewhere along the way, I promise you, you have touched your face. Whether it be scratching your face, and/or answering your phone.You get through the store, and begin unloading your basket. Every item once again in your hands, placed on a counter, touched by the cashier, bagged in bags that have inevitable been sneezed on or coughed over, touched by who knows who. You or the cashier place those bags back into your cart, you swipe your card, and have to touch the pin pad or pen to complete the transaction. The cashier hands you your receipt that they have touched and you are now touching. Phew, glad that's over. Now, we get to the car. Pick all those bags up(supposedly a virus can remain active on plastic for as much as a week), put them in your car, strip off that crazy mask, open your door and get in. Even if you run for the hand sanitizer, you have already gotten this virus(supposedly) on your vehicle door, inside your vehicle with the bags or even the merchandise you bought, and likely on your purse/wallet, keys, steering wheel and quite possibly on your face while you removed your mask. I know there are plenty out there that have a serious phobia of germs. I get that. I am a bit OCD when it comes to constantly cleaning my house and making sure there is a slim chance of germs surviving for very long. I am however, looking at the panic that has been fueled and can't for the life of me understand. If this virus is as serious as some claim, why haven't all businesses shut down? Does the virus know that Wal-Mart is nasty so it doesn't hang out there? What about all these new mandates about bar/restaurants closing by 10? Does the virus have a 10 pm bedtime? I can tell you from experience that this virus is very real and can be dangerous for some. It's unconfortable too. However, using a bit of common sense would go a long way. If you are sick...stay home! Don't go to work, don't go shopping, don't pass go and collect $200. If you run a fever, monitor it and give yourself a full 24 hours once it breaks without medication before returning to anywhere that you will be in contact with others. Obviously, if you have major resperatory issues, go to the hospital or doctor. Many times Tylonal will help reduce inflamation to help breath easier...if it's not a serious problem. PLEASE do not wait if you are having issues. The thing is, we are all going to have to learn to deal with this virus. The immune system within your body is 98-99% effective at fighting this virus. The immunization is 90-95% effective currently. Fuel your body with good quality foods, extra vitamins(you should do this through the winter anyway), plenty of sleep, reduce your stress because stress lowers your immunity, if you weren't taught from a young age...wash your hands regularly with soap and warm water. It is not selfish to want to think for yourself. It is not selfish to manage your own health without people in 3 states knowing what you are doing. Today's constant information highway has done so much to divide and conquer. We need to be empathetic to others, because we truly do not know the battles that others are fighting. We have spent so many year hearing about the real issues with mental health but our current situations has done more to damage mental health than it has to help control this virus. The current suicide rates, depression rates and number of people having to die alone make this virus look like a circus. When we stop trying to do the best we can for every person, and instead focus on only a few; we are failing all.

My perspective

Political seasons change and yet they stay the same. On one hand, you have people that believe one set of rhetoric. On the other hand, you have people that believe yet another set of rhetoric. The problem comes in when people can't see the forrest through the trees. What is apparent is that there are too many people that have neglected to do their own due diligence with research and facts. They have neglected to learn history repeats itself, they vote strictly by party lines. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but BOTH parties are lying hypocrits! I am not a party affiliate. I vote by person, and traditionally have voted mostly Democrat, until this year. The 2020 elections are still ongoing, as they should be, until every legal citizen has their ballot counted. The issues we have had with voting for at least 20 years, that I know of, is that both parties have claimed fraud. There is a simple fix to eliminate ALL fraudulent voting practices...it's called ID. You have to have an ID to drive, take out a loan, renew a license, every thing! So, why the constant bickering from both sides about voter ID? Because both parties want to have a means to pad their candidates if need be. It's obvious to me, anyway. America is such an amazing country that we have people trying to flood our boarders from 100's of different countries...unfortunately, they come here and expect Americans to bow to their beliefs. That is not how it works. I have no problem with legal immigration. Quite frankly, 95% of Americans are immigrants. The problem I have is those that come into this country and expect us to bow to their demands, those that are allowed to jump the boarder and stay if they promise to vote Democrat/Republican, and those that are here illegally being allowed ANY of our freedoms(license, welfare, healthcare or education) These are criminals people. Those that support these illegals are criminal accomplices. It is not rocket science. We have hundreds of thousands of homeless people, Americans, that we can not take care of. Why the hell are we allowing ANY illegals? The last 50 years have seen politicians constantly chipping away at our freedoms and liberties. Again, too many are not seeing this. We keep hearing it's just one law, it's just this or that, or "for our safety." That it complete bullshit. It has nothing to do with anything other control. Can you not see this? BOTH political parties have been bought and paid for by lobbyiests, foreign powers and corporations. So many have blamed the status of our country on one president or another. The problem is, so many keep electing these talking heads and now we have politicians that have been in office for more than 20 years, versus 4 years for our current president. The get a life-long pension, specialized benefit plans, they do not pay into social security or medicare. They have yet to miss a single paycheck while the rest of America has either worked their asses off or been laid off/business closed because of falsely promoted corona virus scam. Before I get a bunch of hate mail...I get that this virus is real and dangerous for those with pre existing conditions. I understand we need to be careful, we need to stay home if we feel ill, and we need to wash our hands. People, do you not do these things on a regular basis anyway? When flu season begins, I am always more cautious. I clean my home daily, I wash my hands constantly, I limit my interactions with groups of people, I insist my family stay home if they are not feeling well. This to me is common sense. Can we afford to miss work, not at all, but I think about all the scenerios...making others sick, someone getting hurt if we were to go to work and end up trying to drive home sick and wreck. Again, common sense in my book. I don't believe the masks being forced on us by ill-informed, or even guilt trips. Yes, I care for others, too much, but I also care about myself. It is not healthy nor safe for these masks to be worn by people that are not ill. These masks are dehumanizing Americans, they are desensitizing a bunch and they are yet another baiting tool being used by politicians to chip away at our Constitutional rights. I can not wear one or it will throw me into an instant panic/anxiety attack. Do you know how many times I have criticsized for not having a mask on? More than I can count. These folks want to blow smoke about me not caring about others, and to a degree they are right! I care about myself in this instant MORE than others. If this is truly a virus, which is what all the "experts" have claimed, I think there are a lot of people that need to go back to science class to understand how viruses work. A virus can not be vaccinated against, there is no miracle drug to "cure" a virus. A virus has to run its course. It can be minimized, as far as symptoms go, but you can't wipe it out with medicine or vaccines. Too many are being lied to by the very people that set are set to make billions from these unfactual statements. Research people!!! Please!!!! We have a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips 24/7, yet so many get their information from people that being paid a lot of money to tell you what to think. If you reread our Constitution, I think you will find how many of our rights have been chipped away. If you reread our Bill of Rights, I know you will see how many liberties are at stake. So many depend on their "freedom of speech," guess what...if you let even one of those rights be knocked out, you will soon find them all gone...including your precious freedom of speech. To preserve the santity of our country, we have to preserve every single right...not just the ones that serve some. Our Constitution and Bill of Rights were designed for every single American. If you believe otherwise, you are the problem. This country has made great strides in the past 150 years. From Abraham Lincoln in 1863, to John F. Kennedy in 1965, to women being allowed to vote in 1920; this leveled the playing field for ALL legal, non-criminal Americans. While I have gotten a lot of grief about people not needing a history lesson...I think otherwise! I think too many have bought into the baiting and have lost their sense of direction. Until 1863, slavery was a common practice throughout the WORLD. Many slaves were sent to America from black african slave traders, from Irish lands, white poor people, and captured Native Americans. The truth of this matter is that a large majority of all our ancestors were probably enslaved at one point. The Emanicipation Proclamation of 1863 is boasted for freeing black slaves, and it did...but in reality, it freed all ansalved people...black, white, red. This was in large part because of Abraham Lincoln, who was a Republican. Not a single Democrat supported this. You can go to the library of congress online and research this. Next up, the Womens Sufferage movement. Women were not allowed to vote until 1920. We were not seen as citizens until that point. Now, the Native Americans, even though it is on their land that we dwell on to this day, were not even considered citizens of this country until 1924. They were denied voting rights through literacy tests just as the blacks were 50 years prior, but the Voting Act of 1965, prohibited all states from denying citizens right to vote based on race, and gender. So, not being equal, which seems to be the arguement I keep hearing, is false. Although no one is entitled to anything they have not worked for, and reparations talk - if anyone deserves them, it's the American Indians. Period. Not a single person alive today was a slave nor a slave owner. Next up, another divide that is unprecedented. Gay rights. In June 2015, these rights were honored by the Supreme Court, allowing for same sex marriages and rights. Incredible right?! Well, apparently, that is not enough. So many of these groups have fractions that are still demanding more. What more can you ask for? You can vote, you can make the choices in how you want to live your life. Does being black, white, brown red, straight, gay, transgender; does it make you anymore special than the next person. Nope. It just means you can live your life! You can love who you love in the open! You can better yourself without any of the discrimantory crap to stand in the way. It doesn't entitle you to free anything, cause quite frankly, it's NOT free. Someone has to pay for it...and you can only take away so much before it's all gone. Now, another very controversial subject. I for one am sick over the divide in this country. I have seen families and lifelong friendships destroyed because of the baiting that has plagued our country for several decades now. The latest criminals, these radical groups being fueled by hatred and crime, not even necessarily politics. These thugs are criminals, period. If you have to break a law to promote this hatred, you deserve the consequence. You want to push this rhetoric of equality, that was already taken care of in 1863, 1920,1965 and 2015; then you do not deserve the equality. If you break the law, you are a criminal. It's pretty simple. Are there people that are ignorant, that believe differently...absolutely. You want to take these groups(any of the afore mentioned) to any other country, and I guarantee you would not survive a day. If you want to protest, great, that is your Constitutional Right. However, protesting is not blocking highways, it is not burning down other people's property or stealing, it is not harming those people that disagree is with you. Those acts, by law, are considered terrorism. By common sense, those acts are defeating your protest. Theose acts are just proving to the ignorant that those commiting those acts are uncivilized, and YOU are adding fuel to an unnecessary fire. I do not agree with police officers using excessive force. There are a few that do take everything to the extreme. The large majority of the police force in our country, are incredible people. They do everything they can to protect our communities and people. When you have a criminal, that is resisting a police officer, those officers have to make a split second decision. They have to a second to decide if their safety is in jeopardy. Do people not grasp this? When someone is a known criminal, a known druggie, a known hot-head, or a known felon with weapon charges...those officers have to assume their lives, their partners lives, their communities are in danger. Put yourself in their shoes. These officers are spit at, they are assulted, and their lives are put into harms way to protect the very people that are charging them, that are in their faces, or that they, by taking the oath of being a police office, are required to protect. I've heard calls to get rid of the police, are you serious?! Yet, some of those calling for their elimination, are the very ones that call the police to protect them or their property. A whole lot hypocritical if you ask me. Just yesterday, I was scrolling through social media when 2 young girls that grew up together for most of their lives have now sadly been divided. One on each side of the political bullshit. This year was the first year these girls were able to vote. I am grateful that so many of these young people have gotten out to vote, but I am concerned about this unnecessary division. Unfortunately, these girls have been thrown into this baiting, and now I can see a friendship gone. If you truly believe that you can not be friends with someone because their political opinions differ from yours, you are the problem. There is this thing called respect. I seriously believe the lack of respect in this country is just another baiting tactic. Anyway, I know both these girls and their parents. I think they are all good people. Do I can that some of their opinions or choices are different than mine, nope! I respect them enough to accept our difference and go on. I am however, very disappointed by the matter in which their friendship will now be divided after 18 years, because of a lack of respect. I know where where both these girls came from, their parents, their upbringing(for the most part), and it is not only sad but very disturbing. I truly believe if we as Americans came together, quit listening to the media propoganda, and the baiting politicians, we could have a beautiful, respectful, and promising future. I was always told you should never throw stones if you lived in a glass house. Well, I believe there are an awful lot of people that are on borrowed time before their glass houses shatter. You have the pot calling the kettle black, and again, Americans are being baited against each other for political gain. It is very disappointing that more people can not see this. Just in this election cycle, we have been censored; against the American Constitution and the Sunshine law allowing for freedom of information. We have been lied to, by BOTH parties and their cronies, our country is trillions of dollars in debt yet the politicians keep raising their wages, their benefits, sending money to countries that hate us. So many are worried about who spends 4-8 years as president yet are ok with those that have 20-50 years in the congress. I would think that should be a more concerning issue. If a two term maximum is good for for the president then it should be the EXACT same for congress. There should not be life-long pensions or benefits for any elected official, ever! Our country is broke because of these politicians lack of financial sense. I think our country had better open their eyes and see this propoganda for what it is before we are living like Cuba or Venezuala. Another thing that I keep hearing, and it pisses me off to no end. America is not a Democracy!!! America, by the Constitution is a Republic. Read it, you might learn something! I am an American, I have a right just like everyone else, to have my own opinion. I am not Democrat nor am I a Republican. On a personal note, my family had 16 years of hard times, financial strain and employment strain. The past 4 years we have seen improvement. If you notice, 16 years covered a Democratic AND a Republican president in office. Our current president is arrogent, obnoxious and not a politician, so do not get me wrong. I do not like him. However, I have seen positive changes in my own household under his term. Researching Mr. Biden's plans, I am scared. We already know my husband's job will be directly affected by his plans, our taxes will almost triple under his plan, and our healthcare will be gone. My own job will be in jeopardy. Our farm will lose untold amounts because of taxes, and law change plans. There is a good chance even 4 years could sink us to irrepairable levels. As I sit here, I can think of so many good people that can't see the damages being caused by all the baiting that is happening. I, for one, always see people for who they are...not the race, gender, sexual preferences, or any of that nonsense. I know incredible people that by demographics, fall into everyone of the catagories. The difference is, I don't look at the catagories. If people are good people, why segregate them into some ridiculous catagory?! These are people that abide by the law, they work hard, they love their family, they do what they can to make their communities better. This election cycle, the past 4 years, has really disappointed me. I truly believed our citizenry was better than the behaviors I have seen. I truly believed that respect for each other would prevail, and I have been let down. If it's not been the baiting, the lawless actions of some, the constant lies, the lack of empathy; it's the disrespect, the division, and the many unConstitutional acts of some elected officials - that DO, by the way, WORK FOR US! One last thought. Friends, if we do not stop this divide, and learn to work together while forcing our elected officials to remember they work for us, we are in trouble. The very liberties that have allowed for the protests, the voting, the freedom of speech...will be gone. It's long past time for our citizens to step up. We need to come together to solve the issues plaguing us and show these politicians how it's done. Stop the bickering and have respectful, but real conversations on what we can do for our country. These educated idiots in Washington, are obviously too far removed from the real world to know. We can't be productive if we are constantly blaming our poor choices on everyone else, nor can we be productive if we are not truly hearing both sides! Salli

Coffee chatting

I am sitting at my table looking over multiple lists and piles of paperwork. I know I have so much going on daily that most don't even know. I keep notes on everything! I hate being unprepared, unorganized, or caught off guard. This entire year has left me struggling to just keep up, let alone get on top of the chaos. Unlike a talented juggler, I have so many balls in the air, I am waiting for them to come raining down on my head! So, a brief little glimps into my days... Coffee is a must to start every day. Otherwise, I am kind of a bit Medusa and a whole lot Oscar the grouch! A few weeks ago, after researching a lot for a natural way to get the vitamin/minerals I need and a means to level off the mood swings associated with this menopausal crap, I found a daily regiment that seems to be helping with most. After my back injury this Summer, I not only lost about 16 pounds, lost a lot of muscle mass, and have struggled with my limitations. Throw in the mood swings of menopause, the inability to sleep well, and the feeling of overwhelm...and you have a recipe for chaos. While I spend a lot of time working from home, the isolation can be a struggle. While I attempt to do my work in the mornings, I see my house is messy. Then there is the constant pile of laundry, my daughters schoolwork(which is seriously a battle of wills this year), the farm paperwork, the personal paperwork, helping my son with his paperwork as he prepares for building a life, keeping up with meals, grocery shopping, keeping up with birthdays, anniversaries, friends and extended family...sometimes, this juggling act is more of a challenge! My typical mornings consist of juggling my work, work paperwork, farm and personal paperwork, and getting my daughter to do her school work next to me so I can help her when needed. As I said, I try to take notes on every single thing I do so if there is question, I have notes with days/times of conversations. I don't like to say/do things without having the information to back up what I say or do. There's enough talking heads out there already. I would rather keep an open mind, find the facts, and then make an educated decision. Then you throw in the phone calls. These are typically me calling people, attempting to get information and then NOT getting calls back, or getting a complete run-around. This irritates me. Just be honest and tell me you don't know, or you need to find someone that can help. I have no issue being a squeaky wheel but man, is that time sucking!! While I am on the phone A LOT every day, it really is not a good thing. I am much more prepared and it is easier for me, to deal with people in person. Telephone and internet is sucking the life out of so much. I need human contact. I need eye contact, facial expressions, vibes. I do not handle extended non-human contact well. By lunch time, I force myself to walk away from paperwork, fix lunch, and take some time to breathe. Too much time looking at paperwork makes me feel crazy! Then, it's on to the afternoon juggling act. Laundry, housework, more school work battles, project lists, daily outdoor chores, supper, and attempt to spend the evenings connecting with my family about what is going on in their lives. While we still have supper every night at the table, sometimes, those conversations need to continue long after the meal is over. Other times, it's just sitting in our comfortable chairs and winding down from the day. In my days, I am bouncing from work, farm, business, teacher, mom, wife, friend, family member, back to work, business, farm, and that bounce is never ending. I have been told I need to set boundaries...by several people. I have tried, and failed...MANY times! I can't seem to firmly put limits in place, and make them stay. As soon as someone has an issue, I get a call. It doesn't matter if that is during my time working, teaching, meals, or whatever...and I care too much for people, and don't want anyone to feel that they can't talk to me. So, I let a boundary slip and in no time...it's gone again. I don't have an issue going toe-to-toe with people, but I prefer not to when I can avoid it. A mule has nothing on me, when I know I am right. I will not budge or change my thoughts. I do however, tend to distance myself when something feels off. I follow my intuition and when something feels off, or upsets the little balance I have found...you can bet, I will be distant and less open. I have been very fortunate to find a job that allows me do things and help people, I value. Sometimes, that helping spirit leaves me floundering. There are so many things that can be done but when you are limited, it gets frustrating. I average a lot of hours monthly between paperwork, phone calls, talking with local leaders, talking with veterans, and trying to plan events that will truly help them. I have been lucky to have a boss who is also a friend. The struggle this year with all the virus restrictions, has dampened the fundraising ability, and there fore also limited the financial ability to be able to do all that I would like to do. I have made phone calls and left messages for several local leaders, attempting to get numbers of veterans in several communities, and to this point...still no call backs. That seems unprofessional to me. I am hoping to get some gift certificates to give out to veterans for local restaurants, for Veterans Day and get some food baskets into the hands of low-income veterans for Christmas. Nationally, the foundation is looking to give stockings with several gifts, snacks and Christmas Cards to some of the Veteran Homes, so that will be a positive event for many veterans. The farm life is always busy but has become truly enjoyable for me. I love being out with animals, and seeing the amazing job my husband has done with the fencing projects. While my son and I have helped with some of it, my husband has totally rocked the fencing! There have been countless hours, and miles of fence built or redone since April. Many of our fences were old, or meant for cattle...not sheep. So, he took the initiative to fix that. He has done an incredible job. We now have bred ewes and cows. It appears we will have lambs beginning in January and Calves in May/June. My ducks, although really dumb, are so enjoyable. I can not get these crazy animals to go into the duck house. They just keep sleeping outdoors. I am really needing to grasp this duck raising thing! The chickens and goats are fun even if not real smart either. I love being out with them. While I have missed a few days the past week because of having to do other stuff inside, I love taking the reigns of caring for them. Now, if I could just get some of the others in my family to help with the inside stuff, I might have a few minutes to unwind myself! I suppose I will end this chat for today. I suppose I just needed to vent a little this morning. Now, back to my regularly scheduled morning. Salli

Thoughts during the chaos

So many times, I struggle through keeping thoughts to myself. This year, it has become easier to reign in my thoughts and only speak the ones that are the most important to me, at the moment. I believe the reason is that I have felt an energy shift in so many areas. Whether it be society, my home, my work, extended family or any of the other fractions of life I deal with daily. That being said, I am going to open my thoughts in this blog. I can only keep so much...and it's time to let some go! As I said yesterday on my social media, I was reading a post from a marriage group, a young lady in her 20's was discussing a marriage of convenience. Now, having been married 21 1/2 years...I can't find a single "convenient" thing about marriage. Marriage is complicated. It is trying, it is rewarding, it takes massive amounts of effort. Am I wrong? I may have grown up many years ago, but marriage was not something you should take lightly. There are so many areas that take hard work, determination, constant effort, and let's not forget the outside interference that comes in when you have to juggle jobs, extended families, and children. This young woman was discussing how it was "convenient" to be married for tax reasons, for purchasing a home and vehicles, and so she could wear a wedding ring that was huge. I just kept thinking...boy is this girl going to get a massive dose of reality, when life truly steps in. I don't know about you but for me, marriage initially, was not even close to convenient. It was chaos, it was a headache, and it sucked! I had a beautiful wedding(a single day), and basically 5 days before life truly kicked in. Then it was a struggle. Changing my name, getting adjusted to having someone else in the house 24/7, finding personality conflicts I hadn't seen in the year we dated, finding idiosyncrasies that were truly annoying(for both of us, I'm sure), and attempting to find a happy medium to co-exist. It took us 7 years, and a child, to finally get a place we were constantly at each other's throats. It took another 7 years to learn how to deal with each other through all the personality differences and mood changes. It took our 2nd child before we finally got to a place of working together for the betterment of our family, and it has taken all 21 1/2 years to be able to argue without being hateful, disrespectful, and having to learn that we can agree to disagree. I can not, for the life of me, understand what or why you would ever marry for convenience. Many times, being single is not only a good thing but it is also the best thing if you can not love your partner without a condition. I'm going to apologize because I feel an awful lot of soap boxes have build up by not completely speaking my mind. I will do my best to temper them...but no promises! Next up, our farm life. You would not believe how many times I have heard, "you don't farm, you have less than 100 acres and only animals." Well, to some degree this is accurate. We don't have 100 or more acres, believe me, we would if they were available. We have hay and we have sheep, cows, goats, chickens and very soon...ducks. We put up hay a couple times a year, which means working around Mother Nature's mood swings in late May and early June...normally. That requires not only having the equipment to do so, keeping them in good working order, checking the soil twice a year for needed fertilizer, seeding every couple years to allow for new growth as needed, mowing the hay - which typically takes about 30 hours per mowing, letting that hay dry for 2-3 days, raking the hay - which typically involves many more hours, baling that hay - at a whopping 4 mph...it takes time. Then once the hay is baled, then all the 1800 lbs. bales have to be moved, stacked, and counted. Then comes the small square bales, pretty much the sequence but there are LOTS more, require picking up by hand and loading on a trailer and then unloaded and restacked in the barn. All the while, you are checking fences daily, feeding and watering all the animals twice a day, checking every single animal daily for any health issues, keeping tabs on the husbandry schedules for breeding, strawing nests/bedding for all the animals every 7-10 days depending on the weather, getting feed/vetrinarian supply orders in or having to go get feed/mineral, repairing fences - whether on as needed basis or as we did this summer...ripping out old/worn out fence and completely replacing them. We do not row crop farm. Honestly, that side of farming is too risky for my blood. As moody as Mother Nature has been, the idea of losing billions of bushels of crop because of weather issues, is too much stress! Raising animals, hay and keeping up with pastures; is enough for me. Personally, our little 25 acre farm is a great starting point. The farm is more than just animals and hay though. We raise gardens every year. This provides our family many of our vegetable needs every winter. We can an average of 600-1000 quarts of vegetables or sauces every year. When we can get fruit, that is also canned/froze/dehydrated. We raise our own beef, lamb, and occassionally pork. Living out like we do, being able to stock up all year, means we won't have issues if the snow or ice cause us days of being stuck at home. Because we live as we do, many people can't grasp the work, time, effort and stress that goes into every single day. Many see a family farm as a luxary. While we believe that it is, most do not see the amount of work that goes into everyday. It's not a 9-5 job, it doesn't end when it's cold or raining, it doesn't care if you are sick/tired/injured. Twice a day, EVERY DAY, you check and care for animals. That means no vacations, no extended visits away from home with your whole family - someone has to be here to care for the animals, no excuses of being too busy to go check animals. You don't eat until they do. It's providing shade and extra water in warmer weather, and providing extra bedding/insulation and breaking open watering pans every few hours when it's cold. This life style is not for the faint of heart nor for those that can't commit to the full-time responsibility! Next soap box...Politics. I am not your typical left wing/right wing extremist. It is very clear to me, both parties are crooks and liars. Here is a very unfavorable opinion, I believe it's because it's true and some just want to keep their heads stuffed in the sand. We have elected politicians that have been in office for as much as 47 years, and they are blaming someone who in NOT a politician and has only been in office for 4 years. I believe if those long-term politicians were truly concerned for Americans...they SHOULD have done something YEARS ago! I am a very independent voter, I have actually leaned more Democrat than Republican. The last several years, I have seen some very shady, criminal behaviors coming from both parties...but moreso from the Democratic party. The Media has become very bias, and no longer gives us the facts or both sides of a story. It's become more of a propoganda machine. You can not trust anything on television, which is why I quit watching it about 10 years ago. I want the FACTS, I want BOTH sides to a story...then I want to make up my own mind! I refuse to support some of the groups that are currently taking up space, because they are criminals. You have every right to protest, PEACEFULLY. You are a criminal when you burn down homes and businesses(arson), you break into businesses(Theft), and you physically harm those who disagree with you(assult). I support my friends who are black/white/brown/red, gay/straight, married/single, religious/athiest and even those who vote by party lines. The thing is, I support each of these groups of people. You can have your beliefs, your cultural differences, your different skin colors...without forcing this on others. If I went out and started forcing my beliefs on others, that would be the equalent of what is happening in today's society. You can do/be who you are; that's for you. The great thing about America, you are free to chase your own dreams...but you are not free to force others to chase your dream...each of us has our own dreams to chase. Our own liberty, and pursuit of happiness. Our education system is failing our country. The Constitution needs to be taught every year of school, if your students know your political alignments you should be ashamed! History has become something so many young people want to try to erase, but they neglect to understand that by learning it, it helps us avoid making terrible mistakes again. You want a better America, get the government out of our lives, get back to self-responsibility. It is not the governments job to protect us from ourselves. It is not the governments job to run your life, supply your finances, guarantee you ANYTHING beyond the freedom to pursue your own happiness. There is a massive storm brewing, not only in society but within my personal being. The storm in me, is chasing my dreams, and finding my purpose. My life has hit a new phase. It's the phase where my children are older and more self-relient. Where they no longer need me every second of every day. It's the feeling lost or fumbling stage. That mid-life phase where my body does it's own thing, my moods may change on a dime, clutter drives me absolutely insane, ignorance and know-it-all's piss me off, it's relearning how to be someone that was long ago dropped to be a 24/7 care giver for my children. It's learning to mindful, spiritual and calm...this I'm still attempting to learn. It's accepting what you can't change, changing what you can and knowing you deserve to take care of yourself. It's helping your children spread their wings, while praying they don't fly too far. It's finding a new normal with your spouse, because this life changing time for me, has changed everything. It's accepting that you aren't the young thing you once were, but you are so much more than you ever thought possible, and still wanting/needing to continue learning more. It's learning that many of the trials in your past will haunt you but trying to overcome them through understanding and analysing; and trying to forgive and let go. It's a massive shift of thought, and emotion. It's a challenge to understand without coming across as angry instead of curious. It's an hourly struggle, every single day. It's the struggle to not let emotion control you, whether it's sadness, anger, irritation. It's knowing you're moody and trying to keep it in check at all times. I have accepted my short-comings, and try to learn from them. I struggle to be the best person I can be, each and every day. I, however, am no where near perfect. I know I have a lot of flaws and unique quirks. I like to believe that this is what makes me me...but I also know, my heart. There are VERY few people that I would not help, or even go out of my way to do whatever I could for. There are several that have taken this for granted. I know it, and it has changed my view on some things. However, I refuse to deny that I will help whenever I can...but when I'm done, I'm done. I bust my butt for so many other people, and while my own expectations of other's have disappointed me...I still choose to believe there is good in most people. Wishing you all a beautiful day. Take heart that we all deserve happiness. Salli

Fall farm chaos, life's roller coaster

I am thoroughly amazed that we are half way through September already. After a year that has been chaos personified, days that have seemed to be like Ground Hog Day for real, and so much hatred in hearts...it is difficult to think so much of an entire year has been wasted by ignorance, manipulation, and greed. Here on our little farm, life has continued as it must, and projects have been done as time, materials and finances have allowed. Anyone that has lived on a farm, knows that projects are never done. There is always fence to repare, sheds that need repair/updates, equipment that also need repairs/updates, animal care that ranges from bulk feed to veterinary care, and then there is always home updates, family needs, and for us...our outside jobs, and wood for the furnace. You learn that the season changes bring a constant list of preparations. Obviously, Winter prep work is hugely the most, since weather here can keep us grounded in short order. Even with the extra work that goes into Winter prep, it's still my favorite time of the year. So many of our farm activities have been cancelled this year due to the virus. We, like everyone else, were concerned early on about making sure we did our part to "flatten the curve." However, a virus is not something that should have halted life. Yes, all viruses can be deadly and this one was largely a new virus. Vaccines can be beneficial, but even with the regular flu virus and vaccines we have a massive amount of people that die each year. While I will be cautious and if we are ill or there is a large outbreak in our area, I will steer clear of everyone for a bit...but this should be a common sense approach. If you are sick, and/or are running a fever,stay home. If you feel safe wearing a mask, by all means do so....if not, then don't. Wah your hands regularly, wash your clothing regularly, clean your house, but life must go on. Using panic and parania to frighten society into a third world behavior is demented. Speaking with a few healthcare friends, and shed a lot of light on the current health situations. These 3 providers are seriously concern for the snowball effect this pandamonium is causing, and I have to agree with their insight. While so many have been in isolation, lockdowns, and overall "social distancing;" this has taken a huge toll on not only physical health, mental health and well being. When you consider that stress is so detrimental to your overall health, you add in job losses, not being able to get together with family & friends, having constant informational overload, constant changing of "science" and you throw in to play the division within society about almost everything anymore, and you have the perfect storm for a serious mental/physical health breakdown. One constant thought has come from all the information...sunlight and time outdoors is good for us all. Even though there are states that have some pretty stingent rules, being outdoors...even in your yard, is cathartic. Direct sunshine is a natural source of Vitamin D. This is a true cure-all for so much. Just think about how much better you feel when the sun is shining! Cleanliness has taken center stage, something that has truly shocked me. Yes, cleaning, and hygiene should be normal, but there is such a thing as too much. As with everything, too much of anything can still be too much. Our children have gotten away from being kids, playing in the mud, having to do chores, and living on technology. As we try to make life better for them, we are making things worse. So many young people are becoming stressed out by the over involvment in activities, trying to keep up with school and the atrocious amounts of homework, and not having to think for themselves. They are being told what to do every minute for 18 years, then thrown into life to think for themselves, and they are not prepared. We need to find a balance with mental health without compromising their civic responsibilities. I don't the answers here, I wish I did. We have so many young men and women that don't know how to sew a button on their shirt, how to cook a basic meal, let alone how to work on their own vehicle. They spend too much time playing video games to realize that real life is nothing like a game. Somewhere along the line, we have become a society devoted to extremism. I will not dwell much in this little soap box, because frankly, politics just piss me off. I am going to just expand on yet another area of extremism. Elections in the states have become pretty heated each cycle, the older I get. I very rarely ever look at a single side of the political spectrum. I have voted both parties, but I vote on records, people, and agendas...not party. The election cycle seems to become a another area of manipulation and mud-slinging. Each party believes their candidates are the best, and you have those who do vote party only. While I have had many times I have voted for the lesser of two evils, I always try to vote whomever is staying in line with the Constitution. Too many in our country are willing to trade a false sense of security for the very freedoms within our Constitution. The very politicians that continue to be elected into office, are lining their pockets selling their souls, to keep their power and enslave the American people. I personally believe that ALL elected politicians should be held to a term limit equal to the President. They should not be allowed to have benefits that do not apply to ALL Americans, they should have to pay into Social Security and Medicare just as we are required to. They should not receive life long pensions, not should they be allowed to run our country trillions of dollars into debt. This applies to ALL politicians, from BOTH parties. Whether you realize it or not, Democrat or Republican, they are all the same. They are manipulating Americans, they are pathalogical liars, and they are greedy. Off that soap box, and on to the next. Most people that know me, know that I am opinionated, pretty strong-willed, and do my best to always be kind. I have found myself in a moment that is truly testing my own self-perseptions. While I think being strong-willed and opinionated is a family trait, I do my best to be open-minded. I live by a few theories..."to each their own, do unto others as you would have done to you, and it's not my job to judge others as I am not perfect." However, this year has had me questioning so much. I hate to whine, and allow myself to get into a pity party but some days, it's a challenge to pull myself out of that mentality. I can't remember a time that when I have gotten overwhelmed, I have not withdrawn. I'm told this is a coping mechanism, an unhealthy one, but one none-the-less. I attempt to keep on the straight and narrow, but if I know or believe I am right...I will go toe-to-toe with someone. While I am very outspoken, I will withdraw a little at a time when I no longer feel I am effectively doing what I need to do. Many times, I withdraw into myself to evaluate my thoughts. Whether they are happy, sad, angry or content. It doesn't matter. If I am overwhelmed, I withdraw. There are very few people that realize the extent of this withdrawl. I tend to care too much. I don't care if people like me, that is not even on my radar. Most people don't like themselves, so why would it matter if they like me?! I care because I see or feel people's intentions. I can't explain this emotion, as much as I would like to. For me, people tend to show their true colors pretty fast, once in a while, I am tripped up by someone that pulls the wool over my eyes, but not often. Once I get a bad vibe from someone, I'm done with them. I have managed to overcome several trials in my life, and to do so with my heart somewhat intact. I will not allow anyone to stay involved in my life that is toxic to me or to my family. I can't. Life is such an overall short journey. I know there are so many of us that have entered a new phase in our lives. I'm speaking of all the ladies dealing with this lovely peri-menopausal phase. It wasn't enough to have the puberty, maturing to the birthing years; now, we have this phase. The emotional roller coaster, the hot sweats, night sweats, cold sweats, crazy cravings, weird body changes, headaches, itchy skin, not to mention feeling like you're losing your mind! This is yet another right of passage, I suppose. I can tell you, feeling like your brain is in a fog, not sure whether you want to guzzle a bottle of wine or empty a pot of coffee, craving food you don't even like, many of us are still juggling younger children, trying to keep our marriages afloat, keep up with jobs, friends, family and not loose our shit on a daily basis...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Hitting my mid-40's, doesn't bother me. I love my birthday's! However, this new phase is insane! I truly understand the term mid-life crisis. Not in the general sense that I'm going to out looking for some younger guy or buy some stupidly priced, useless vehicle; but in the sense of the changes happening. Our children are growing up and needing us less and less, so many of us have devoted our lives to our spouses and children and now we have more free time than we have in years, we may be feeling restless in our jobs/careers, and we are now asking "what do we do with ourselves?" I'm told this is all normal, but personally, it doesn't feel normal to me. It makes me feel too chaotic, too unorganized, too restless, too something! As so many of us are reaching this phase, many I have talked to have been asking the same questions..."what now? is this normal? will I ever feel like me again?" I'm told you will feel like you, only better and wiser. We all know that we change through the years, and this is just another change to adapt to. I don't have any answers, I sure wish I did! I will just say this, you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not losing your mind, and this too will pass! Find someone you trust to talk to, to down that bottle of wine with, drink that pot of coffee with and find something meaningful/fulfilling and productive to do with your extra time and energy! We survived the 70's, the 90's, Y2K, and child-rearing years...We got this! Break out the 90's ballads and rock! Today, I'm diving into more organization and structure in my home. With the restless energy I have been struggling with, I have to keep my hands and mind busy. I know my family just cringes each time I start new projects, but I am having to do things for me. I have spent so much time this year in deep thought. I have tried to balance several areas of my life and it's just not working anymore. So, I am focusing on what's most important to me. I am finishing this year with current committments, plans and projects; but there will be a lot of big changes beginning soon. I will stay true to me, my beliefs, my standards. I have to find my balance again. Have a great week! Fall is just around the corner. Get out in nature, go to your local pumpkin patches, get fall pictures taken, live your life to the fullest! Salli

Life, updates, and more

Most of you that read this blog know my life is always very fluid. I am usually busy, have several projects going, and have very strong opinions. Some things will never change. I always attempt to find positivity when things get tough, I attempt to look for the good in people rather than find faults, and stive to constantly learn through my own research. Some days, being me is difficult. Sometimes, I wish I could just go with the flow of whatever is going on, but that is not who I am. I like organization, I like having a direction/directions that allow me to simplify what needs to be done. I like structure with flexibility. So today, I am going to cover many topics, as my coffee chats usually do. I have deliberately not written for a while. With such chaos and extremism happening lately, it has been tough for me not to gall into that same extremism. I respect people, for the most part, until I am disrespected. At that point, I either remove them from my circle or become reticent, until I can get a handle on my own emotions. I have met so many incredible people throughout my life; all walks of life. It has truly broken my heart to see the ugliness come out of so many other hearts. We are all humans and that should be our connection to do better. You have a 2-party system that has systemically baited one against another, for decades. Why do we as Americans allow this? It is not one party against another, it should be the American people against these career politicians. Our country was founded on the principal of citizen politicians, and somewhere along the way, we have allowed those in politics to remain in office for decades. Not to mention that these career politicians have become millionares off of this constant division and special interest buy-outs. I vote, it is my constitutional right and my responsibility as a citizen. I vote based on my research...not because I am told by the media or union, bribed by the falsehood of "free" stuff, or even by pressure from peers. I will never vote for anyone who has been in a political office for more than 8 years. At that point, they are washed up, and need to go get a real job. These career long politicians do not deserve their pensions for life, their "finge" benefits for life, nor do they deserve more than 8 years in office. Period! I have never cared what your skin color, your sexual preferances, or even political views are. I look at people. Is there racism, of course. It's been part of the world for thousands of years. While there seems to be a rise in the claims today, it is no more systemic than a man on the moon. What so many do not realize is that you are being shown only what those that wish to keep this country divided want you to see. Would you want to be a police officer in the world today? You never know what you are up against. You don't know if you are going to make it home, after your shift. You have criminals running amok and being praised, you have a few peaceful protesters being infiltrated with thugs just begging for uproar, and you have both political parties fueling constant division. We are no longer given information to make our own decisions, we are spoon fed proganda from our media. We are censored on social media, and if you attempt to research information...you better be prepared to dig; because you are only able to pull up the generalized information on a quick search...and that information is usually linked back to a news article. We have groups that have further divided our people. Those groups have behaved like heathens and criminals. Wanting and expecting justice is American! That is the way our country should be, however, the words I was taught as a young person come back to mind "2 wrongs will never make a right." You want to fight the issues in our country today? Quit listening to the media, quit buying into the extremism, and focus on your individual communties. You want to make everything truly for everyone, it has to start local...not with a government that has systemically baited Democrats against Republicans, Black against White, Straight against Gay. Folks, we ALL bleed red, therefore we are one. Off one soap box, and on to another! Sort of. I am American, period. I have a plethora of heritage included in my history: German, English, Native American, and Irish; just to name a few. Could I claim to be "Something"-American...yep, we ALL could. The thing is, you're either American or not. While most of us have ancestors from multiple places in the world, we have a responsibility to the country we are born citizens to. You see, have such a colorful backdrop of amazing ancestors, I am honored to learn about their cultures and journeys, learn about their trials, and learn how truly blessed I am; above all, I am American. Born and raised! My extended family, I think we cover a kalidoscope of color/sexuality/races, and even politics. I have seen the ugliness drift into my family with all the division happening in our country today. The thing for me, I won't argue politics, your opinion is yours. That is your right, but my opinion is mine...and that is my right. I will not go on someone else's social media page and voice my opinion. That is disrespectful. However, I refuse to divide family because of opinion. Family is family, while some may be willing to act in such an irresponsible way, I will not. Fortunately, I'm kind of the black sheep. That means while I love my family beyond time and space, most don't have anything to do with me or my personal family. That is their choice. I live my life by my morals and standards, and those that want to be involved are always welcome. As I live my life, another family trait that I have inherited; adopting non-blood family, or chosen family if you will. I grew up with families that always welcomed the "strays." Those that didn't have a family of their own, those that had family that was not caring/involved with whomever, and something that I kind of crack up about...those that marry into our family...we joke that once you marry in, you never get out. That is something that very few can say. I love my extended family. I had the best Grandparents and Great-Grandparents. They were such amazing people. My family, on both sides, worked their asses off to have anything they ever had. Some were town people, some were farm people; but ALL were GOOD people. That has been my goal in life, to be the kind of person that would not only make my Grandparents and Great-Grandparents proud, but to be the kind of person that they were. I have opened my home to many through the years. Those that didn't have anywhere else to go, those that needed a hand up, those that needed food or even just a shoulder to cry on while they picked themselves back up. THAT my friends, is what this world needs. Leave the judgements to whatever greater power that be when our lives on Earth are done. You can not live in a glass house and throw stones, it will come back to bite you. Family. Something to me that means EVERYTHING! A good friend and an incredible author(yes, Melissa, we have some different opinions but you are an amazing person!); coined the phrase "Family Knows No Boundaries," and my Grandmother coined the phrase, "Circling the wagons," BOTH of these have played a big part of my life. Obviously, my Grandmother's has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Melissa's for about 7 years, I think. Circling the wagons, meant when family needed you, you were there. The family would circle you to lift you up, in whatever need was needed. Family knows no boundaries, to me, meant pretty much the same...Family always comes first, being there for whatever needs were needed. While I had to spend several years growing up and realizing during those years of 18 to about 30, that I didn't know half what I thought I did...then I had my own family, and it started making sense. My personal family has always welcomed people. Whether they were kids that my son went to school with that needed an outside opinion, or thoe kids that didn't have much of a home life that needed something, friends that became family; my little family has always tried to welcome everyone. We have gotten bit a few times, but I always try to find the positives, and look for good in people. I have found some that finding good is not possible, and I have had to let go and not dwell. Some have proven that no matter how much you give, it will never be enough. For that, I have had to embrace a phrase I truly hate..."it is what it is." In my personal family, we embrace family. We still eat dinner together, around the table every single night. We work on our family farm, as a family, every single day. We talk about about everything, and share everything. I do not tolerate lies, deceit, or even half-truths. My household knows that I may get mad for awhile with the truth, but you lie/deceive/or tell only half a story and I will be pissed for a long time!! Trust is something I depend on. Once that trust is broken, it is rare if ever allowed back. Family, trust, loyalty and responsibility are priorities in my house. Family Farm. Our little family farm is in constant motion. We have made some restructuring within the farm, to push it towards paying for itself. I fought this idea with my husband for the first 6 years we have owned it. His opinion was that it was not purchase to make money. While that is true to some degree, you can not have something that only requires spending without having a steady means of income to allow for the spending. So, after 2 years of restructuring the farm and investing into a flexible business plan...I believe we are finally on our way in a better direction. Obviously, there are a lot of "surprise" expenses when you deal with any type of farm. Whether that be equipment repair/replacement, veterinarian expenses, loss of livestock, equipment malfunction, or even market flucuation such as this year. 2020 has been a bad year for everyone. From our farm perspective, the market drops that came about in the first 2 quarters, hit our farm horribly. Having a great year of hay is great, but it seems many people had a great year; so hay is not work as much as some years currently. So, we will sit on our excess until it is needed. The markets, for cattle and sheep all but fell out the bottom in the late first quarter and most of the second quarter. This virus scam, halted our farm visit days and many other activities. Now, before I get all kinds of hate mail...I truly believe this virus is scary and real. I do not believe that all the drama associated with it was necessary. My family followed the guidelines for the "2 week curve" only to spend the next 4 1/2 months with my husband laid off, and while there may have been some that the extra $600 weekly was more than they were making...that amount was still less than my husband would have made had he been working. Thankfully, I can budget and juggle...for the most part. We are hopeful that next year will be better and will help us get back on track, and that the remaining months of this year do not cause us to sink. My off-the-farm job. I work with/for veterans. I was given an incredible opportunity 3 years ago to volunteer some time working with veterans. Since then, I have continued to work with and for veterans. I am currently with Wake Foundation, volunteering many hours a week, to ease the needs of veterans in my region. My current region covers Southeast Iowa, Northeast Missouri and Western Illinois. I have helped at some events through the general chapter. I have met some amazing veterans throughout the events I have been involved with. Last year, my family farm hosted the first disabled veteran deer hunt in my region. It was my job to handle the organizing, applications, fundraising, decorating and my husband and I did most of the cooking as well. This year, I have blessed to allow the hunt to include some hunters in Missouri, as well as, in Iowa again. With some hang ups from last year, the virus stuff from this, and a few hitches otherwise, the hunt this year will go on. I have tried to build from last year, to give our veterans an incredible weekend, good food, and the much needed commrodarie they need this year. While I currently work with a foundation, my focus is on the veterans. As I do with everything in my life, I see a need and I want to fix that need, any way I possibly can. This year has been especially difficult with the virus having so many businesses shut down, and lost revenues; in businesses and fundraising. However, even if I had to pay for the hunt from my own pockets, I would. Politics, has played into so many of the lives of our veterans. Too many have focused on the financial gains or getting a leg up and lost sight of working for and with all veterans. Since I am not paid, I raise money for this region that stays in this region, and only for the events held here. Because I am not a contender for making a profit off anything, my focus can stay where it needs to be...on the veterans. Coffee Chat. As most know, there is ALWAYS more! Having hit the mid-40's mark in my life, has brought about a whole new wave of introspect. There are so many of us that mark our mid-40's with our children being old enough to tend (mostly) to themselves, juggling peri-menopause with empty nests, rediscovering our spouses after being focused on raising our children, in a position of having aging parents, juggling friendships, and a whole host of other areas that didn't really affect us until now. The phases we go through in life change us, just as the trials in our lives do. For me, reaching 35 was the beginning of transition. I had my youngest later (in my early 30's) after a run-in with cancer. So, I had an only child for 8 years prior to starting over. Now, my oldest is getting ready to turn 20, is engaged, and learning that life is not all fun and games. My youngest is 11, and is a spit-fire but truly a beacon of light to anyone she meets. Now, I have 2 kids that have reached that stage of being more independent, more self-regulating and less demanding. That has put me into a whole new phase. Now, I see more time that is not being demanded by my children, but that time is being demanded by building a stable family farm to pass on to them, and devoting more time to the amazing veterans I get the honor of working with. My time for nearly 20 years, has been secured by children. I was always a mom first. Everything and everyone else was pushed behind what my children needed. Now, I find that having much in common with others, is difficult. I have spent nearly 20 years as a stay-at-home mom. I worked a handful of jobs for a short time when finances called for it, but friendships and even being a wife, were put last. Everything I did was for my kids. While to some degree that will never change, now I am kind of floundering to adjust. I did not do much in the way of going out once my kids were born. My kids are homebodies. They like their comforts of home, so overnight trips along or girls weekend trips came to a halt. Now, my youngest, refuses to stay overnight anywhere...and has a fit if I mention going anywhere alone for more than a couple of hours. We try to teach our kids the importance of becoming productive members of society, to find their wings so they can find their passion. However, my kids love their lives. They want to be part of the farm, stay close to home, and happily be near their parents. Selfishly, this has made my heart very happy. I never wanted them to feel they had to leave home, that their opinions/ideas weren't valued, or that they needed to be anything other than what made them happy. I have never cared about what career they wanted, as long as their choice made them happy. As I keep telling them, if you can make money from doing what you love, you have found your niche. Until then, keep trying to find the career that will allow you to feel you are making the most/best difference. Sure it takes money to live, but you should never have more going out that you have coming in from a single source. Learning from our mistakes, from our trials AND from our successes. Life is journey meant to be lived not controlled. As I struggle through some areas of life, and thrive to be the best person I can be; I keep reminding myself that not I am not alone in this crazy time of life. That even when some things must come to an end, other things can grow and only become better. For today, I will leave each of you with this: Every single one of us struggles with trials and errors. We need to be kind to each other even if we disagree. Salli