It's funny that drawing a line is necessary, when simply talking could avoid so much turmoil. I know this whole technology phase is the fad, but I have seen the damages done when people don't know how to communicate, or choose not.
Having difficult conversations is never an easy task. It's made a million times more difficult when the effort is not even put forth to attempt it. This plays into every aspect of life; from basic conversations in public to families to relationships, and so much more. Technology has allowed miscommunications, misunderstandings, and frankly, it has created an awful lot of trouble that could have been avoided.
Let's start with simple basic conversations. How many people know their neighbors and actually talk to them anymore? What about having simple corrigible conversations when you are in public? Do people actually do this anymore? My own experiences have shown people to just get pushy, ignorant and down right rude, instead of a simple polite statement. While I don't have a "neighborhood" to speak of, all of our neighbors within our little corner of the map, know if they need help, we will be there. It's incredible for me to think it is not this way everywhere, but I know it's not. We don't need to be all up in everyone else's business, but if help is needed, we are just a phone call away.
Communication within family units has become just as poor. This includes between spouses, children, and extended family. I once read that many people follow us on social media, not to actually stay in touch but have something to gossip about with others. That was so sad to me. Especially, when it involves family. We have had our own experiences with major break downs in communication, within our home and our extended families. In my extended family, it has been an ongoing joke that once you get in the family, you never get out. Apparently, that is not the case in most families. Again, I find this sad. Not only is chosen family something that I believe in, but sometimes they are more loyal and trustworthy than those DNA related. Anyway, having conversations, communicating, is difficult no doubt. Especially when egos are bruised, others don't know how to communicate, and outside manipulations take place. Many that read my blogs know that my Mother-In-Law passed away in September. Her husband, my Father-In-Law, is still my Father-In-Law. His children are still family too. Unfortunately, not everyone believes the way I do. I was left in a very difficult situation since it is really not my place to say or do anything. However, I have spent a lot of years playing referee within these ranks, and now I am not sure how to manage it. I have given out blanket invitations for different events, but I also gave my word that I would not be a babysitter after the comment was made, after calling every few days to check in. What do you do? I would like to speak my mind, but so far I have just managed to bite my tongue. I have pushed my own parents, after my Mother-In-Laws unexpected passing, to get their affairs in order, and have it all written out. Again, I am not their babysitters, nor am I their parents. I am not one to want much in the money department, I didn't earn it. They worked for the money they get...they should spend it while they are alive. Family memorabilia, photos, family history, those types of things should stay within the family. Not sold at an auction, or given to a second hand store or thrown out. I know all of my husband and I's stuff is already in writing, both kids and our bonus kids know exactly what they should do, so there is zero question when we are gone. I do not believe in sneaky, underhanded bullshit. When you lay your cards on the table, have the difficult conversations, everyone knows where you stand...it makes life a hell of a lot less of a drama.
As I have shared, even relationships are struggling with communication anymore. Everyone is wrapped up in technology whether that be their phones or the noise box. When you attempt to have conversations, you are met with dead air, single word answers, or having to yell over the noise box. Talking about anything beyond surface subjects becomes more and more difficult. You have to rush through conversations because something is coming on the noise box, get interrupted by the phone ringing, or attention is divided between talking and scrolling through social media. It's a nightmare. You get to a point that you are in a room full of people and you're lonelier than if you were actually alone. It's quite pathetic actually. After a while of this, you quit trying to fight that battle and just resign yourself to the way it is. You become quiet, withdrawn and no one notices. At least until you find another soul that needs that communication, like you do! Then you can talk for hours, about anything and nothing, and you feel refreshed.
It is no wonder to me, why so many struggle with depression, anxiety, panic attacks. No one actually talks anymore. So many want to text, message, or call(which is better than the first two,) but actually being in the presence of another human and talking...not looking or answering the stupid phones. I truly have a love/hate relationship with technology. I know the value it can hold, but I also know the cost. Some days, I believe if all the technology just went away, maybe people would behave with empathy and compassion again. I know both are unlikely...
I, for one, crave real conversation. Not the surface crap. I want to talk about things that matter, learn as much as I possibly can, and be able to grow into a better person. God knows I have made plenty of mistakes, have more than enough flaws, have regrets, and am no where even close to perfect! I have plenty of room for improvement! However, I work hard to constantly better myself. I have had to set boundaries because other's found it necessary to bowl over me, or throw around guilt trips/manipulation. I had to learn my limits, and my breaking points...many times the hard way. I have a blessing/sometimes curse, of caring too much, and that has caused me a lot of heartbreak, but that is who I am. I would much rather care about others, than become a cold, bitter, cantankerous person no one wants to be around. I would rather be welcoming to those that want me in their lives than to push people away until it convenient to want them. I know the how much people mean to me, and those I care about are worth more than any material possession will ever be worth.
I know how important this subject is to me, and I hope everyone that reads this, will find your way into better communication with those you care about. The more people I speak to, the more this comes up. Our loved ones are worth more than any material possession will ever be. Treat them as such. Show them in actions not just words what they mean to you. Words can be beautiful but mean nothing if actions don't follow.
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