Coffee, farm, season changes

 

Seasonal winds have shifted around here. Let's visit.

Living as we do, we pay attention to the changes in weather, seasons, plants, and wildlife. Many times, those things are much more accurate than any meteorologist. The weather shifts are visible in not only the wildlife behaviors, but also in livestock/chickens/dogs/etc. Have you noticed the change in your pets when it's going to rain/storm? If you pay attention, you will see it. Animals get a little "squirrely," they don't behave as well, are racing around like their backends are on fire, or simply just don't listen. Wildlife and livestock, are the same way. Their behavior differences can alert you to an upcoming weather change. Typically the worse the behavior, the worse the weather difference, at least in my experience. The time of year, also indicates the weather pattern disruptions too. This could be rains, storms, snow, ice, cold, etc. 

Even though we have stayed warmer longer than normal, even the gardens have a built in radar. While I still had plants growing, some still producing, many of them had been dying off for several weeks. Our growing season here is typically the end of May until the end of September. We've had years when there is still snow on the ground in May, and years - like this one, when there is still some growing degree days in October. However, usually by the of September...you need to be finished with the gardens, as they do not produce much, if anything beyond that. This year we have had extreme droughts, and later than usual increased temps. My gardens have been officially put to rest for the winter. We spent our weekend on winterization projects. Thankfully, we had the help of our oldest son and my youngest brother, and that allowed us to get a lot more done. It's always sad to me when it's time to get the gardens ready for winter, and when the mowing is officially done for the year. 

Another area that seems like it would be the stuff of old wives tales, but it's not, is the persimmon seed predictions and the weeds going to seed. I will be perfectly honest here, almost all the weeds going to seed - this is my husbands thing. I do not know all the weed names, or the folk lore that goes with them. I just know that certain ones will not go seed until just before our first frost. As for the persimmons, this is fascinating to me. There are seeds in this fruit that have one of three "images" in them. A spoon, knife or fork. Each of them is supposedly a prediction of the coming winter. To this point, everyone that has shared them this year has gotten spoons. This typically means lots of moisture, which indicates warmer than average temps to allow snow fall. I honestly can't remember the meaning of the fork or knife as I write this. While some moisture in the ground would be welcomed, I am hopeful to not have a harsh winter. Over the next week or two, we will be watching the wildlife a little closer. The squirrels, the deer, fox, and even rabbits are telling, if you pay attention. 

As for right here...we did get our main garden put to rest for the winter. We got it cleaned out of any remaining produce, pulled/cut the remaining plants and weeds, and my husband even got it plowed up this year. We did some rearranging of my chicken pen earlier in the fall so the old area where no grass had grown this summer is also now plowed, and will become another garden next year. I am actually thrilled at having another garden area! My husband, son and brother were able to get a portable building put together to house square bales of hay and straw. This opened up our barn to allow for more lambing pens for the sheep this year. They also got the carburetor fixed on the wood splitter, my brothers garden plowed up, my son's hay hauled for his cows, my brother helped me finish cleaning out the floor of my chicken coop.  It was a very productive weekend on our farm. 

I personally have had some revelations. I have spent a lot of years jumping for everyone and everything. I've always tried to make life a little easier for those I care about. I don't do this for any reward, or even recognition. I do it because, in my eyes, this is what you do for your loved ones. Sadly, you put yourself in a position that it just becomes expected and others raise the bar to expect more and more. Last winter, I spent the entire winter seriously sick! It sucked!! Most didn't even acknowledge it, I was still expected to jump when anyone needed me, and the amount of help I personally got was almost zero. It's ok. I have honestly come to expect that. It just really hurt me for that realization to slap me, as it did. It took almost every ounce of energy I had last year just to get out of bed, make minimal amounts of meals, keep just basic cleaning up, and make sure laundry was done. Beyond that was a huge stretch. Anyway, it took this for me to realize a few things. First, my expectations of others, is my own issue. I have always believed that there is good in everyone, that people are inherently empathetic, and it just took someone believing in them for that to come out. You know, I believed I could help everyone become their best by helping them to the point of burning myself out. I was wrong. Second, this is basically the same as the first. I believed that people needed a hand up to better themselves, so I tried to do that; when in reality they were just looking for a hand out. This is not how I think, so it's difficult for me to understand. Third, burning myself out, did not help anyone or anything. All I did was allow my body to get run down, depleted of what it did need, and destroy my own peace of mind. Fourth, I let my own passions go. So much of what I have loved doing....I haven't done in a year or more. I haven't taken time to take any pictures with my good camera for a year or more. I have not built any new furniture for nearly 3 years now. I have lost so much drive toward even baking that it's sickening. This year, I am even struggling to find a hint of interest in anything Christmas related. I am burnt out with the rat race that has become of our lives, the disappointment of trying to help others and just getting burned every time. I am tired of trying to everything to everyone else and losing myself AGAIN in the process. 

I guess I've hit my terrible late 40's. I haven't cared what others thought of me for a LONG time, but now, I just ignore most. I have a lot of pet peeves that I have had for years. I've had to reach a point of "I love you, but it has to be from a distance for my own sanity and peace." People that love you do not manipulate you - verbally, mentally or physically. I don't make apologies for my blunt/no bullshit opinions. Sugar coating or mollycoddling is not how I operate. I have enough drama in my house to add any from outside of it. To be honest...I don't deal with drama well no matter where it comes from...so unless you want to be ticked, it's best I don't know about it. Anyway, I have allowed myself to get away from too much of holistic path the past few years, and I can tell. Not only in my health issues, but also in the arena of mind and spirit. There are a few things that I am doing that I wanted to do for me. Several years ago now, I went back to school to get my certificate in Natural Health Consulting. Although I do not do anything professionally with that, it has allowed me different avenues of holistic health options, having not only myself but my children, with severe allergy issues. I have recently become an ordained minister. I have considered this for many years, but the final push was to be able officiate my brother's wedding. I am also currently studying Reiki. I am a firm believer that God has given us what we need in every sense, but we have become too "busy" to pay attention. We have been told by modern medicine not to listen to our own bodies, and instead take some pills to fix problems. I believe this has continued to make society in worse health. Wellness does not come from synthetic, factory produced pills. Pharmaceuticals lose money if someone is "cured," so why would they do that? If you believe they are all trying to find "cures," I am probably not the person to follow. 

Most times anymore, you could tell me that 1 plus 1 would equal 5, and I will say "whatever works for you," and move on! I am not dealing with nonsense anymore. I get people are too "busy" and too broke to pay attention most of the time. However, when people have taken the time to research, they have taken the time to learn...do not discount what they are saying just because you have not. Too many people today are too hypocritical. One that sends my blood boiling, "follow the science." Ok, let's follow the science, but they only want you to follow the science they want to believe...not the science that goes against whatever stupid thoughts they have. A great example, follow the science with the illness but NOT the science that says there are only 2 genders. I think we really need to be following the money on all of it...who is making billions off all the bullshit we are being fed?! Anyway, I am not going any deeper in that rabbit hole today. I follow facts, the ones I have researched and know. Many times, I have learned how wrong my thinking was. That is called education. To learn what you don't know, you don't know. 

Finally today, I have had to push past a lot of my thoughts as I read through social media. People have become weak, needy, insecure and frankly...a bunch of whiners. Myself included! We are allowed to have opinions, for the most part, but sure seems like the age of technology has brought about the age of insecurities. No one can do anything without technology anymore. Yet, spouses get all up in arms over who their spouse is talking to online or on the cell phones. God forbid you have a friend of a different sex. I can tell you, no one is going to tell me who I can or can not talk to. Nor am I opening up my phone for "inspection." I wouldn't be that disrespectful to husband, and I will not be disrespected that way either. If you don't trust your partner, you don't have a relationship worth being in. Period! Putting on a show of how great life is online, while your real life is in shambles is pathetic. So many have to be continuously "reminded" online of their "love," and that just makes me shake my head! I swear, if I roll my eyes any harder, I will be able to see my own brain! Where the hell did the confident, independent, secure, decent and productive people go?!