I have attempted to write a new coffee chat for over a week now. I have really struggled with the manner, in which, to put thoughts to words. It's easier for me to just spit out my thoughts, in whatever means they come to mind. However, I have spent a LOT of years controlling myself and attempting diplomatic discussions...to avoid losing control of my tongue and temper. That juggling act is getting very old. Diplomacy only works when people are: a.)willing to open their minds to differing thoughts, b.)willing to shut their mouths to actually hear what is being said, or c.)are willing to brutally honest. When lies, deception, and gaslighting is the main "go-to" for much of society...it is difficult to find open minds and closed mouths.
I have gotten a lot of grief for telling people to do their own research. I get it, everyone is busy. I guess, that means, I am not...so the research I have taken the time to do, means nothing. Although, those that truly know me, NOW, know that I will not say or argue about anything, that I don't know anything about. There are a lot that claim to know me, but don't know that about me...meaning they are not a regular part of my life in the past 10 years or more. Shoot, the more I learn, changes me on a regular basis. It was very difficult to accept how much I thought I knew, and yet didn't have clue...until I learned or relearned it. The phrase, "you don't know, what you don't know," is one of the most accurate. There is also one, "it's easier to be manipulated that to admit you have been manipulated."
I believe diplomacy is going to win out this morning. Economically, the statistics are troubling. 86% of American's are living paycheck-to-paycheck, 72% of American's do not have $500 in savings, and 46% of American's ages 18-26 depend on the financial help of family or friends to survive. I do not care what political party is supposedly in control, you couple those stats with a nearly $35 trillion debt($267,000 PER TAX PAYER); that is unsustainable. Yet, our elected body continues to hand out or funnel money, all over the world. Our once strong dollar, is only worth around 3 cents now. How does that happen, when our taxes continue to rise, our elected body continues to be not only paid, but have increased incentives/pay? While some will argue, the fact is, when you put today's numbers, incomes, debts, services and housing; in a comparison with our history...we are in a depression. We blew right past a recession 2-3 years ago. Not being sarcastic, BUT the great depression did not only exist in 1929. It began around 1927 and lasted until the second world war. Our elected body, throughout decades, has robbed from social security and medicare funds, with it being estimated to be broke by 2029. Those funds were forcibly taken from every single tax payer, you were not given the option to opt-out of that...even though the elected body did. You, the hard working tax payer, was NOT given a choice. I know my generation, will be met with a bankrupt social security system, that we have been forced to pay into. Just as was done with social security, the healthcare act was the same scenario. It forced people into purchasing something, even if they didn't want it, or be penalized; but how has that worked out for the healthcare industry?! Less medical staff, longer waiting periods to visit with doctors, more red tape, more desk jockies deciding what is medically necessary than the doctors themselves, more American's forced to spend money on a program they may never use, let alone breaking states sovereignty and American's freedom to decide what they buy. These are facts, you can easily look them up for yourself. You can go to your chosen search engine, and watch the US debt clock, it will show you most of the American financial turmoil.
Anyway, I'm going to move on. This year, has been a struggle. Let's start with the small stuff. Realizing that so much of our stuff is really old, and is starting to break down or fall apart...in a time of prices being completely stupid, has been tough. I needed to replace my sofa, it was not only broke down but literally falling apart. I had watched since late last year trying to find sales on new ones, or even decent used ones that were reasonably priced. I didn't find either! That is until yesterday. I found a decent used one, coming from someone we knew, and there wasn't a concern of bringing in bugs. I really dislike used furniture, but last new sofa I bought last only a few years before it was junk. The price was right. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it's in great shape. Prior to that, was my mower. As much as I wish I could say, we utilize every available area to grow useful produce...we have a large yard. Problems, costly repairs, missing parts, and adding oil to mow each time...wasn't feasible. So, there was another unexpected expense. Managing my own illnesses and recovery has been a full-time job! The past few years, my health has taken a big hit. From pneumonia to big weight loss(that I didn't have to lose), to the late stage of peri-menopause and all that goes with that, to trying to regain the lost weight...it's been a major challenge. I have always fought with my weight. When I get stressed, I lose weight quick. Then it's a fight to gain it back. The last round of illness took me down to 83 pounds, after another bout with pneumonia. I'm still fighting to break 100 again. Once you are that sick, your stomach shrinks to match the amount of food you ingest, making it difficult to eat more. So, you have to slowly eat more, and increase your stomach capacity to allow for weight gain. So, for me, having to make myself eat more often, means I'm having to stop projects to eat...which means there are a lot of unfinished projects, a lot of clutter from unfinished projects, and a lot of disorganization that stresses me out, all over again. I refuse to quit, so I just keep fighting and will accomplish each of my goals...eventually!
With the health and economic issues facing nearly everyone, we've had several personal areas that have effected us. It's difficult when you are lied to, to realize you are not worth being told the truth. It gives you a really good idea of where you stand. With grief, you go through stages of healing. There are times you have moments of feeling like you blindsided, or smacked before you begin to accept that loss. Then you have an event or events that will slap you in the face, and you have to start the grief process all over again. It's hard, but at some point, you have to conscientiously step off that carnival ride. I struggle with repeat patterns, and obvious disdain. Anyway, we found ourselves in a situation that now requires a new direction. Now, we have to consider options we never thought we'd have to. That grieving we thought we had learned to accept, has been slapped backward to hurt once again. We'll deal with it, we always do.
History is such a remarkable thing. As I began diving into the history of the area we live, a few years ago, it's been amazing to learn about. We live in an area referred to as the laplands. It's where 2 states meet, and in my area...have battled over the land for a hundred years. Enough so, we actually had an Iowa address for a lot of years, before now having a Missouri address. It has been changed back and forth, through the years based partly on the course of a river. Learning how our property history has evolved has been interesting too. It's truly incredible when you go through legal documents, when you have to visit 2 separate states to get information on a single piece of land, or even a larger mass of land! Visiting with local Historians has been educational. Learning about our entire county being stolen from other surrounding counties and states, is unbelievable! I am on hold for now with history research, but I am looking forward to diving deeper and further back.
I took some needed quiet time this morning to write, and just exist. I have a lot to do, but I needed to quiet my thoughts some. After a busy few days of running, I am happy to be home and not have any real pressing errands to manage. That will kick off again tomorrow, but I do what I can, when I can...and that has to be enough for now. Taking time to slow down, to enjoy time with my family, to work in the yard/gardens, and just exist is necessary...I'm just a little slow on the uptake sometimes to remember this...until I'm forced to. So, it's time to get something accomplished. I hope you all count your blessings and remember: treat people kindly, you don't know what is happening in their lives, and everyone has a part of their life that is messy. There is only one being that sits high enough to judge anyone, and it's no one on this Earth!
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