Sept. 2nd updates

 

Sept. 2nd, a new month has begun. It's been a busy and productive weekend around here, but also included a few hours meant to relax. We are in full winterizing mode and preparation. It's hard to believe we have about 2 months to be fully ready for Winter. For the most part, this is now innately done, since we have done this for so many years. It doesn't make it any less crazy, when so much is based on the whim of Mother Nature, and her bipolar behaviors. So, Labor Day Weekend, has been spent laboring. 

After 2 years with a leaky hydrant, it has finally been replaced! No more handle freezing because it was leaking out the handle. So, that included borrowing a mini ho, digging up the old hydrant, setting new the new one, adding new rock around the drain hole at the bottom, resetting and back filling. My husband and son made quick work of getting that project knocked out. The new one works, as it should!  They also fixed the main water shut off under the house that was ready to blow out. The location of that shut off, is directly under my daughters bedroom, so if that had failed...it would have been a complete disaster! Now, there's a new shut off, hopefully this one will last another 13 years! 

While the guys were working on that stuff, I started trimming trees, cleaning up a few areas of landscape, and did some mowing. I worked on more tree trimming and gardening yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised to find some tomatoes and green beans that were ready. There really hasn't been much to harvest before now. I made the decision that our main garden is being reseeded and will be resting for a year or two. The harvests the last couple of years have been pretty weak, and I just don't need as much as I once did. I will always garden in one form or fashion, since I truly love it, but I no longer need to feed large amounts of people, and really...I just want to have enough for my family, and actually enjoy it again. I put so many expectations on myself, that I end up overwhelmed, and I am a horrible critic of myself! 

Last night, I decided we were all going to slow down and relax. I decided I wanted a bonfire. No hoopla, no big gathering...just us and the kids. While I was disappointed that all but me, spent most of the time on their phones...it was still relaxing. Looking up at the stars, cooking nasty hot dogs on the fire, seeing the milky way, shooting stars, watching the bats, just relaxation. I haven't dealt with my phone much the entire weekend. Didn't take many pictures, and didn't even have it close most of the time. It's so easy to get tethered to electronics. It has been a hugely beneficial break. 

I have taken this morning to relax a little more. It's almost time to start getting more done, but you know - everything is still going to be there, when I get to it! Except maybe the garden produce. It's a little more time sensitive. Anyway, I have a few things in the back garden, and once it's empty, it will be turned back over to the chickens and ducks. There's cabbage back there that needs cut, sweet onions, and potatoes to dig, and hopefully some peppers. I've decided to try a new sauerkraut recipe, and keep some leaves for cabbage rolls. This week has a lot of must do things, and I'm going to work at it until it's all done. Canning pasta sauce, making kraut, freezing beans, fundraising for the veteran hunt, and the regular stuff - laundry, cleaning, and school. 

As of today, we have 24 days until the 2024 Veteran Hunt begins. I'm really excited, as I am every year. It's one of events I look forward to each year. It's a lot of work!! However, when you watch it all come together, it's beyond worth it! I have been honored to meet so many incredible people. The veterans this year, are coming from Illinois, Iowa, Tennessee and Louisiana. We still have some raffle tickets available, and are needing about 3 volunteers to help in the field. I believe I have plenty of help at the farm this year. We are still wanting to fill a few sponsorships for this year, since many of the prices have gone up, and we've had a few more unexpected expenses. 

As I head out for today, I hope you have all had a safe and enjoyable weekend. I hope September brings each of you the rest, and peace, that I believe we all need. God Bless!

Conversations matter

 

 

 

 

I have heard a lot people talk about needing to find themselves. I get the concept, but I don't know that I have ever fully understood it. That is, until very recently. While it is very unique to each individual person, it seems that we work so hard to be everything to everyone, that we lose ourselves. We lose direction, and end up spending the majority of time, living in survival mode. Whether that is raising children, the roller coaster of relationships, or even for many...at their jobs; we get stuck in a rut of doing what we have to, just to get through. 

 

I recently had a conversation, at one of my lowest points, and a term came up that actually fit what I have been feeling. You see, over a few years and several issues, I have been treading water(and not doing that well). I have been in a serious rut of trying to help everyone, be what everyone else needs me to be, keep up with my home, my family and extended families, manage grief, manage betrayal, juggle marital changes, juggle mothering changes, and juggle my own changes of phases in life...all within 3 years. I have gotten bogged down enough it has resulted in serious health issues for most of 3 years. That rut has gotten extremely deep. This year, has multiple low points in my own self worth, self acceptance, and self criticism. August brought my lowest points to date. I've had no one to talk through all chaos so I could pull myself up again. It wasn't until that recent conversation, that the term "self preservation," hit the nail on the head. I had finally sunk low enough to need realize not only do I need to refocus on this...but also that means I have to make immediate changes. I have to put a priority on my own needs, or I won't be worth a crap to anyone else. I can not change other people, that is on them, but I can do what I need to make myself whole again. The bottom line of that conversation, I can't worry about the areas outside of my control and not everything is going to be equal. You get what you give. Sadly, if my head was not so muddied up, it was the same advice I would give...to someone else! It's kinda crazy how we can give advice, and not utilize the same advice when it's us in the moment. 

 

Many of my blogs over the years, have been written to try to help others. My thought has always been, maybe if someone sees them, and is dealing with similar circumstances...it will give them the strength to keep going and know they are not alone. Strange, how alone you can feel, when you are in the trench. A lot of people talk about all their friends, but I wonder how many of those friends would be there when you are at the bottom of barrel, with nothing to offer. Trust is a big thing for me. I do not trust many. So, my circle stays pretty small. I have people I call friends, but aside from about a handful...they aren't the ones I trust with my most sensitive information. Once in a while, the most trusted friends, are the ones that show up unknowing the war zone they are walking into...and help you find a level playing field to carry on from! 

 

So, even though you may not have all the answers - yet, you are on solid ground. And that is definitely a good place to start. Now, I have to find a path that works best for me. I need to find preservation that will allow me to be the best I can be, in all aspects of my life.  Learning to set boundaries, and letting go of those that can't respect those boundaries. Even learning what I need to, to allow me to be where I need to be...that part is a bit daunting. That may mean learning a new skill set, updating old ones, even so far as eating crow to ask for guidance. No man is an island, we all need someone, at some point. You just have to accept that and be willing reach out. Having a solid, dependable and knowledgeable circle is worth its weight in gold!