Changing Focus

There have been so many days of late, that I am ending up overwhelmed. It's seems that issue after issue is piling up, and some of them have been issues for awhile that have no chance of being resolved. Sometimes, the issues at hand, just make me want to run away to a quiet place. Fortunately, I am not that type of person anymore. Responsibilities and priorities keep me grounded. There was a stage in my life, when I would have walked away from the excessive issues and never looked back.

Now, I will not run away. Instead I will focus on fixing the issues I can, and the rest will just be dealt with the best way I possibly can. I am only human, and can only handle so much. I do not, typically, have ice running through my blood. So, I try to keep everyone happy and that comes back to bite me. So, my attitude is being adjusted once again because each time issues arise, I feel myself growing colder to the outside world. I am going to keep my family happy, content and growing to the people we want to be. The rest is just back ground noise. I am going to make every attempt to stay focused on our goals, and my own goals.

Life is never promised to be easy, but it is promised to be worth it. So, with each issue that arises, I need to look for the opportunity to learn and grow from it...instead of at the stress of it. I will not be letting issues control my own personal well-being. I have done that for far too long. It's time to pull up my boot straps, and work out what I can!

It's a day of reckoning, a day to fix the attitude. There is nothing, or no one that make me feel inferior without my consent. I do not allow, normally, anyone that much control over me. There is absolutely no reason to start now! I am very happy with the person I am becoming overall, and several bumps in the road are not going to change me permanently! I will falter, I may have days that I want to run away, but I won't. I will take the time I need to regain my foot work, and I will continue on my path. I am strong willed, to a fault, and that will, determination and drive, will keep me moving forward even in the harshest of situations.

I am not perfect, but I am me. In all it's good, bad and ugly circumstances. I have become a strong, independent, and rational person...until I get overwhelmed. Once I get overwhelmed, everything is wrong, and my need to have control of the situations around me goes wild. I don't like not having control of my life. When I feel like I don't have that control, it sends me into a tailspin. I have not allowed anyone to control my life for years...and I have no intention of starting now! When others try to control the life of someone, other than their selves, it becomes a big problem. What is good and works for some, isn't so good and doesn't work for others. I refuse to give in to things I do not believe in, and things I do not agree with. I have sat quietly, and allowed situations to rule our paths for far too long.

I am better than that. I am a responsible, respectable, hard-working person. What I do in a 24 hour period would make some people's head spin. I am not a role model, nor would I want to be. I have done some things in my life that make me cringe. However, I would not change anything. Everything I have been through, everything I have done, and everything I am going through; has made me the person I am today. It has given me the knowledge, the strength, the courage, the convictions, and the inspiration to move beyond who I thought I would be.

The recent speed bumps in my life, have been set before me, for me to learn and grow from. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, and focusing on the negatives of them; I am going to look to them to learn. There is no sense in throwing a pity party, feeling sorry for myself or degrading myself. It's time to focus on what I know, the logic's of the issues, then it's time to analyze everything, and finally put each issue to rest once and for all! I am stopping this roller coaster ride, immediately.

I am finding my way out of this self-imposed pity party. As my daughter would say, it's time to "Cowgirl Up!"
~S~