Coffee Chat

November 2nd, coffee chat. Politics, sports, seasons, and my crazy life.



Wow, with all the energy bouncing around our universe, it's no wonder we live in complete chaos! I haven't yet decided if many of the transitions that have taken place, are gradual or have occurred like a flip of a switch. It is completely insane to me, to listen to conversations, watch any news, or even read on social media; all the judgments, all the ignorance, all the offenses people are taking, and the complete lack of common sense. Everyone is offended by something, people are having conversations about others without their presence, everyone seems to know what is best for everyone else, the financials of our country as a whole are in dire straights, and the citizen population finances are falling just as rapidly. Our media focuses on color of skin, political party and bias; instead of reporting the actual news. If you haven't watched the news lately( I try NOT to!); you have complete networks focused on the red or blue sides of politics. Instead of calling a spade, a spade; they have to demonize one side or another. News flash!! They are all greedy, lying, conniving, educated idiots! Not a single politician in office today, has ever had to work or make an honest living, a day in their life. So when they are harping on being for the people....they are full of shit! They are for whomever is going to give them the most loot! I say we clean house. Fire every last one of them, take away their pensions, take away their unconstitutional "congressional" health care, make them live off the system they have created; then elect a farmer that has to depend on Mother Nature for an income, a rancher that has to care for livestock at all hours of the day or night, a Native American that has seen the harsh, inequality of life in his/her life time, a single parent struggling to not only be mom and dad rolled into one but trying to make ends meet every single month, a college graduate with student loans coming out of their ears; you get the picture! Let's elect people that have actually had to work, ones that have struggled, those that aren't given an option of "raising the debt ceiling" to cover their irresponsible spending. It's time for America to once again, be run by citizen politicians. People who take time away from their lives for 4-8 years and then return to their lives at the end. Give them a salary just over comparable to the one they have to give up while they are serving the people, not the millions of dollars we are currently spending for the crooks in office now. We need to return to an economy of capitalism, instead of consumerism. When society has the theory that it's ok to live on credit, yet look down on anyone trying to live truly within in their means; we have a problem.

Every year, we are told that for our economy to grow, we must spend our hard earned dollars on whatever crap we are spoon fed. Whether it be the latest and most technological vehicle, the newest technology, some new smart phone that will be outdated in 3 months, or the cheaply made products from China, or even the "cheap prices" from the bix box stores; we are being duped folks! How many people are trading in vehicles that are perfectly functionable, for something new, because there's 0% financing or cash back incentives? How many people are waiting in lines the day the newest iPhones come on the market? How many people go to the big box stores, complain about the quality, price, or service; yet they continue to go back? We, as a society, have been trained like Pavlov's dogs to accept mediocre. When was the last time you walked into a local owned store, and walked out spending what you would have at a big box store? When was the last time you actually compared prices, quality and time consumption of shopping at the big box stores or any corporation for that matter? Let me give you a few quick examples I have experienced in my own life.

Example #1:
We began our remodeling projects, on our home, in February 2012. We had set a budget of $25,000, got a loan(no we don't have that money laying around.), and set to work getting the supplies. Here are just a few areas that ended up costing us a lot more than planned, and had I done due diligence...we would not have gone over our budget!

Local Lumber Yard

2 x 4 x 8 - 2.47
These were high quality and straight.
And for the distance were cheaper!

This is only 16 miles from home.
This money goes into community and
into the pockets locally.

Menards
2 x 4 x 8 - 1.97
These took a pipe wrench the size of my arm to straighten enough to use.
This is 65 miles from home.
This money goes into a corporation.

Home Depot
2 x 4 x 8 - 2.49
These were soft but better than Menards.
This is also 60-65 miles from home.
This money goes into a corporation.

By the time we figured out that paying just a little more, not driving as far, and getting better quality were worth it....we had over shot our budget by a LOT! Of course, we had not figured for contingencies as we should have, but just the material list alone ended up costing us more than $8000! That was before the headaches we weren't expecting. That was just the materials that were junk at best, the cost of taking the hour and a half each direction to drive there, the fuel cost and the fast food meals we ended up eating since the service was so horrible it would take over 4 hours to get anything accomplished. When you figure in all of that with the cost of supplies...we are over $18,000 OVER our budget...and still not done!


Example #2:

Local General Store

Carries groceries, clothing, shoes, craft supplies, stationary, gifts.
Groceries are typically less than $.50 higher than Aldi.
Clothing is more tuned for men, but it's run by Mennonites.
Shoes are mostly work related, and geared toward long hours of standing.
This store is 16 miles from home.
This store is local owned, and the owner is working there everyday!
This store is closed on Sunday's and religious holidays.
Customer service is second to none! 5 registers, but ALL open!
Employees happy to help you to your car.
Always smiles, and greetings, and pleasant.
NO people of Walmart web site.

If I walk in and spend $200 on groceries and supplies, my cart is full!
They offer to push cart out, unload and take cart in...all with a smile!
This $200 goes into that business, that community and stays local!


Walmart

So does this.
Groceries are typically reasonable, but questionable quality. Clothing and shoes are cheaply made, and usually made in China.
The closest store is 60 miles from home.
This is a corporation.
This store is open 24/7, not much for family time.
Customer service is a joke. 35 registers and only 2 open.
Employees won't even load your cart, and usually careless if they look you in the eye or not.
People of Walmart web site...self explanatory!
I can walk in, spend $200 and walk out carrying a handful of bags, no help, and no eye contact.

This is just a couple of examples of lessons I have learned. Yes, I do still make an occasional dreaded appearance in a Walmart store, or any other big box store; but I do everything within my power to shop local whenever possible! I know it's always possible, but sometimes, I guess I need the entertainment. Pathetic excuse, I know. As I said above, the little bit I spend monthly for groceries and supplies, is not a drop in the bucket to a big box store. However, going to a local merchant, spending $200, they are grateful and service is outstanding! I willingly shop local, even if it means paying a little more. The differences that I figure in always include: the time to drive anywhere, the cost of the goods I need to purchase, the fuel it will take to get to a merchant, the extra expenses of meals/snacks or anything else that may have to be figured into the over all cost. So if I need to spend $200 on food and supplies, if I drive to the nearest town with a Walmart, I have to figure in at least 2 hours of drive time, 9 gallons of gas, a meal/snack, PLUS the cost of groceries. That $200 shopping trip is now going to cost me over $250. That's a quarter of next months budget allowance for groceries. 4 months of doing that knocks out an entire month of groceries.

When it comes to budgeting, I suck, BAD! I hate not having some play in ours. However, we are doing what we need to. I plan meals a month at a time, I keep tabs on how much soap, shampoo, toilet paper, etc. that we go through every month. I keep every one of my grocery receipts so I have price comparisons for the next month. I watch sale adds, but refuse to use coupons. I keep track of holidays, so I can figure in extra expenses for specialty foods, and prefer to keep plenty of staples on hand in the event that I can't get to a store every 4 weeks, or an unexpected budget shortfall hits. Which has been known to happen. Typically, I can stretch our groceries out to about 7 weeks at a time, which has helped when the finances are off kilter.

We live on a farm. I know there are plenty of people that don't view it as such, but however you view it, homestead/hobby farm, we are small. We don't have the luxury of absorbing expenses when a market falls, hay doesn't sell or sells for less than its value, livestock dies, or Mother Nature has a bout with PMS. I have had many people ask me about grocery budgeting and meal planning. It's not easy, and honestly, it's a royal pain in the arse! However, having done this budgeting for a few years and comparing expenses from prior...it's not only overall time saving but a major budget saving pain. I have heard every imaginable excuse why someone can not do this, and I just say ok. However, I believe that the only reason someone can not do this, is the unwillingness to do so. Yes, it's a major pain. Yes, it is time consuming. Yes, it requires planning. Yes, it takes effort. Here's our planning: We plan once a year to have a cow butchered. We have the luxury of raising this cow, but in raising it, also comes the care, food and water. While our cows are mostly grass-fed, we do still have the cost of water(stupid in my eyes!), and care. The care does include fixing fences when they break or get cut, keeping the hay mowed down so it will continue to grow and making sure the soil is sustaining for nutrients. These all cost money. Even though we are not having to purchase a cow to butcher, we still have plenty of cost in raising it. Taking it to the meat locker to butcher is another expense. Once a year, our beef expense averages about $700. Once or twice a year, we butcher a hog. We also raise these, so the cost is a little less than purchasing one, but there are still costs involved here - feed, water, hay/straw, butchering. The feed we feed all our animals is natural and organic. The little difference in price is worth the difference in taste, believe me! Our 1-2 pigs a year that we butcher, average us about $500 a year. So, our meat costs are about $1200-$1700 each year. These are big costs, in lump sum, but only average about $100-$125 monthly. When you figure that in with our regular expenses on monthly grocery costs, we are still only averaging about $300-$350 per month on a family of 4(2 of those being growing kids!). That works out to be $87.50 per week, or $87.50 per person per month. On a good year, this amount is decreased when the gardens grow and I can preserve food from it. The meals I prepare, are typically meals that have left overs. The left overs are taken by my husband for lunch the next day, and eat by the kids and I for lunch the next day as well.

While I complain about the cost of groceries on a regular basis, the cost in our family is relatively low. We do splurge from time to time, and purchase crap we don't need(snack cakes, soda, processed foods); typically our meals are all homemade and made from scratch. I purchase unbleached flour in 50 lbs. sacks, I purchase 50 lbs. of raw, organic cane granules. I purchase everything possible in bulk, and as raw/organic as possible. We use a lot of raw, local honey too. I shop our local general store quite regularly, but I have found that Aldi is now carrying a lot of organics that are priced good too.

With budgeting, always comes headaches for me. Between trying to make sure our grocery budget stays intact, juggling finances when income flucuates too much, and trying to finish this remodel project...it sends me into fits. Another income would be a huge help, and I am trying to finish this schooling I started but I absolutely hate it. I have done several things to earn extra money while working around running a household and schooling our children...baking, cooking, and craft sales. I tried working a local part-time job, and loved it but didn't like the laws being broken or the constant bickering of working amongst mostly family members of the owner. Even though the money I have wasted on this schooling is tying my stomach in knots, it is not something I want to do - EVER! I hate it. I need to be doing something creative, not suffocating. I need to be able to show my true colors through work I can be proud of and love while I am doing it. Whether that be building furniture, taking photographs or making crafts out of wood...I'm kind of seeing a pattern here. I need to be able to explore this more, while making a little in the process. I'm trying to figure this out, but while finances in our home are on a shoe-string, I need to figure this out fast. We have been fortunate to be able to pay stuff off, even if a little at a time, but the everyday expenses are rising and incomes aren't.

A quick thought on sports! What an amazing Game 5 of the World Series! Congratulates to the Kansas City Royals, on a game well played and well earned! Growing up in a Southwestern Suburb of Chicago, I grew up a Cubs fan. Yes, I know it's been over 100 years since they won a series, but a die hard fan is a die hard fan. Now, living in Missouri, we have Cardinals fans. I will always cheer for the cubs, but I also cheer for the Cardinals. I am thrilled to say that both the Cardinals and the Cubs did great this year! Kansas City rocked it right on until the World Series, and brought the title back to Missouri. Their first since 1985.

I personally like sports. I love football, hockey, golf, basketball and to a lesser degree baseball. However, I am a take it or leave it sports girl. I will watch it if I have time, or check stats when I don't. I don't get overly engrossed in the television ever. I can usually keep up with calls made, plays made, and player names; but I am not a fantasy sports person, nor do I have the time or desire to be. I lost a lot of respect for the games when the salaries started going stupid, and players started acting stupid.

Moving on....

We are in the final full month of Autumn. It's such an amazing season, just as each season is. I love watching the crops come out, the leaves changing colors and falling. I love to see the first frost(unless I still have stuff in the garden!), and occasionally the first snows. I love the beauty of nature throughout each season. There are so many different changes to see in each season that are missed by so many. We have all gotten so busy, we forget to slow down and just enjoy. A friend I went through grade school with has posted photos of nature and landscape, and even buildings in different areas. While we don't really talk much, I love to see his photos. I love the simplicity of nature, yet its complexity at the same time. I love taking photos myself, and nature is what draws me. I can literally get lost taking pictures of nature. I can go out, spend an hour taking photos, and end up taking hundreds. Each one holds some kind of meaning to me. I am far from professional quality, but being in nature, taking photos of nature at it's finest, and capturing its simplistic beauty brings me peace.

Each season has so many unique treasures within it. Each one has a holiday or two, each one holds a massive value to us. Autumn is a time of harvest. The beauty of the changing leaves, and the time of preparing for cold of Winter. The first frost, the first snow fall, the changing leaves, the piles of leaves falling off the trees, the bonfires, giving thanks for all the blessings in our lives, and cooler temperatures. Winter is a time for the Earth to rest and rejuvenate itself. The snows provide replenishing nutrients to the soil, the cold temps allow life cycles to start and stop, it's a time of short days and long nights. A time for to celebrate Christmas with those we love, and watch the magic come back to life in the eyes of our children. A time for a new year, to start fresh with hopes,goals and plans. Spring brings us the rebirth of nature. The winter's rest has allowed nature to be prepared for the slow, but meticulous process of regrowing, reblooming, and germination. We welcome the warmer temps, the joy of watching the new crops being planted, and days beginning to stay lighter longer. We celebrate Easter with our loved ones, and prepare for the care of our summer gardens. Summer brings yet another amazing change. The flowers open and show their astounding colors, the days are longer than the nights, the heat provides plants and soil with optimal sunlight to grow and produce.

I have always been one of those weird girls that loves Winter! I love the beauty of each season, but Winter has always made me feel the most alive. Maybe it's the beauty of untouched snow, the magic of Christmas, the thrill of knowing it's darker earlier, so my family has to spend more quality time together, the thrill of all the Thanksgiving and Christmas time with our loved ones, or maybe it's as simple as I just love it! The past few years have taken it's toll on my own outlook on everything, but the particularly hardest area has been my love loss with the holidays and Winter. I haven't enjoyed the holidays the past several years, it's become a contention just to decorate for me. I love the beauty of Thanksgiving and Christmas, but hate Halloween. I could handle scare crows, ghosts, witches, and the cute costumes; but it's become a show of gruesome costumes, scaring the crap out of people, and I hate to be scared! I prefer beauty, whimsical, and elegant to scary, gross and dreary. However, even with my love of the beauty, I just can't get into the spirit of the holidays I have always loved. I need to find it again, I still have a little person who believes! I'm not sure how to change this or what to do. Pasting a smile on my face, and pleasantries in my voice to get through November and December, again, is not working. I am one of those people that loves simplicity. I prefer homemade as opposed to store bought. I love to bake, sending things to neighbors and my husbands work place. I loved baking for orders that started in September and ran through December. A few years ago that all changed. I still love to bake and cook, but the thrill of it isn't there. It became more of a chore. The first year in our home, we had an amazing Christmas open house. The kids and I baked, made candy, and cookies; we took plates to our neighbors, and opened our decorated home to them to share conversation, treats, Christmas music, and loved every minute. The next year, we had horrible weather and it hampered it so much. Then last year, I chose to go spend 5 days with my Mom while my grandfather was ill, and didn't have one. I am considering another one this year, but wondering if I have the energy to do it, especially if I can't get into the holidays again. For years, I caught grief for counting down to Christmas, starting in January! It was fun, and everyone came to expect it. The past few years, it's become less and less. A few friends still start sending me count downs very early in the year. It makes me smile, and I will forever be grateful for their reminders!

While my life ends up being insane every day, I do take plenty of time to be grateful for all the blessings I have. I have so many, and I know I am blessed. Counting my blessings is something I do everyday. It has helped me drag myself back closer to the surface but there are still several areas that cause me to falter. I am becoming more accepting of the person I am, under all the masks I must wear; there are areas that I still lack the confidence to accept and those areas are not something I should need at my age. I should know better, and be confidant enough in myself not to need acknowledgement. Unfortunately, that's just not the case. Even at almost 41, I still need the little ego boosts of compliments, acknowledgement, and even an occasional reminder that I haven't become a complete screw-up. I guess, you all now know my greatest fear and my greatest weakness...never being good enough.

On that note, I'm going to end this coffee chat. Take time to enjoy the beauty that surrounds you everyday. Stop rushing everywhere, and slow down. Life moves too fast as it is. Don't rush it, enjoy it!

Salli