Coffee Break

 

We have finally reached the end of February and I can see Spring on the horizon!! FINALLY!!! This Winter has felt so long and tedious to me. I am ready to not have my face hurt from the cold, not have to look like the state puff marshmallow man to go outdoors, and not see snow and ice everywhere; at least for a while! 

Last year, I made a pact with myself to take time to enjoy every season. It worked for a short time, but not very long. For a life that I have always loved as being more simple...our lives became too chaotic. A constant rush from one thing to the next, no time to enjoy the "simple" life, and too much outside B.S. really hindered 2021 for me. I noticed how fast time was going with all the chaos, and no matter how much I tried to slow it up....it got worse. My pact, was to not be so busy making a living that we forgot to make a life. Last year, everything became a chore for me...and I truly dislike that feeling. I know it takes money to live, but good grief, the amount of extra expenses thrown at us was stupid! This year, has already doubled, again. The saddest part of the bigger picture.....WE HAVE NOT CHANGED ANYTHING WE DO. If anything, we are doing even less than before, because the other expenses have tripled in a year!! I'm talking: grocery prices have doubled, fuel prices have at least doubled, utility prices have increased by nearly 20%, and you want to know the real kick in the ass....Income has decreased! So, how does that play out? It means I'm stressed trying to make a budget work (that doesn't), trying to make sure my family has and will have what they need as store shelves are emptying - at least until I can get my garden up producing, attempting to get meat ready to butcher/process, dealing with external issues that have been a thorn in my side for most of my life, attempting to keep up with and guide those around that can't seem grasp the reality of the big picture. None of that even mentions that I have not had a solid night's sleep in, I'd bet close to a year. Instead, I'm trying to manage everything on a broken 4 hours of sleep daily, at best. 

What many fail to understand, I may not "have a job" off the farm, but I have so many jobs right here. I'm managing: education, farm finances, personal finances, business finances, ALL bookwork for ALL those areas, cooking 90% of all meals, doing 95% of all cleaning, keeping up with my animal chores, helping with the other livestock when needed, budgeting, meal planning for a month at a time for 8-9 people daily, purchasing the food necessary for those meals because I need to have a massive class on how to shop to NOT waste money, and now, is garden planning too(this part I actually like!). So, while my family works their 8 hour day jobs, comes home to hand an hour or two of chores...my day ends when I finally drop at night. I don't have 8-12 hour days. God forbid, someone get sick...then I'm on the clock 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I do get SOME help. Usually, I'm told that I do things differently and no one knows how I do it. Well, I do...and I get that, but why not learn how I want things done? Either way, it is what it is. Sometimes, it's just easier to do it and be done. 

I have spent 10 years learning to love my life, who I have become and forgiving some of the stupid mistakes I have made. Since I'm human, I'm sure I will make more....but they won't be the the ones I've already learned from. We all tend to make mistakes, but choosing to learn from them and NOT make them multiple times actually has to be a choice. I've learned a lot the past few years. There are some lessons you need to learn, and others that remind you that a snake can shed their skin and still be a snake!

As I have learned the most, the last few years, in reflection...it's become apparent who I can trust, rely on, and to a certain degree - depend on. I say it that way, because I learned a long time ago to never depend on anyone. My loyalty stays with those that have never made me question theirs. The greatest part of my loyalty and trust is with my own little family. I truly believe being a family of a small family farm has secured the bond and trust that a family should have. No games, no lies, no deceit. We all pull our weight, and sometimes we have to pull a little extra when necessary. We work together, we work hard, we disagree and keep going, we speak our mind even when it's not politically correct. Just this morning, my husband and son were out before 5 am, because the ground was hard enough to be able to hay the sheep and move the stock trailer before it thawed and made a muddier mess. Then they got ready and went to their regular jobs. This afternoon, when they get home...it's evening chores and packing water, before supper. It's checking sheep every 2 hours night and day, even on work nights; during lamb season. It's checking fences, checking grass growth, figuring out fertilizers, changing feed rations, it's helping me get the garden and new plots tilled or any other area I need help with. It's kids(some grown) asking me questions about taxes, how to make the most of their investments, how to manage illness without constantly running to the pill-pushing doctors, or asking how to shop to get the most bang for their buck. It's a well-oiled machine....until it isn't. Then it becomes a circus of mass proportions! When you don't depend on anyone, you really aren't let down. However, handling things this way, has it's own issues. 

I'm not on social media for more than a few minutes anymore, I post what I want and I'm done. It usually doesn't matter, because I spend most of my time in Facebook jail anyway. The other day, my cousin, whom I have a great deal in common with, shared her tips on a good marriage. While I understood it and agreed, I also had a few other areas that were a bit different. I have spent 23 years married, 24 in my relationship. Let me tell you, marriage is tough! Anyone that says otherwise, is an idiot! You can not put 2 individual people together, under one roof, and not have issues. We are not meant to be identical. That's insane to even believe. While I have never been a big proponent of marriage, I can tell share with you some things I've learned along the way. The thing to remember, we are all different and that is a good thing! So, what works for me, may not be right for you! I'm no expert, by any means! 

1. Never try to change the other person. You must have seen a quality that caught your eye...why the heck change them after the fact?! They are not you and you are not them. Embrace your differences.

2.  Learn the art of compromise!!! You are not going to agree 100% on everything. Learn to compromise and find a balance that works for the 2 of you!

3. 50/50 is only in divorce!!! Each of you have to as close to 100%, at all times, as possible. You will have yo-yo days, but both of you have to give everything, to make it work. Even if you have to turn back to stick your tongue out or roll your eyes at your partner. I haven't turned my back for these for years...it usually ends up making us laugh at ourselves and each other these days.

4. Having a common interest is nice, but not a common thing for some couples. While I personally have learned so much from my husband and his family, things like dancing, metaphysics and a natural curiosity are not his thing.  I have to give him credit for trying and trying to understand my constant diatribe...it's just not his thing. Just as his conversations about mechanics are not mine. I try to listen to understand...but usually it is a foreign language to me. 

5. One area that I have failed terribly at, and am learning as the empty nest gets closer...maintaining a relationship with my husband. When you are in the midst of rearing children, raising children....for good parents, that becomes their life. One area that I recommend learning from my own mistakes, take time weekly for actually dating your partner...not just being a parent, but also a partner. As your children get older, and no longer need your constant attention...your partner is still there, and if you don't nurture that relationship, you will get to the empty nest and not be able to find the spark with each other that you once had. 

6.  ALWAYS, ALWAYS put your own nuclear family FIRST! Your partner and your children should never play second fiddle to anyone or anything! 

7.  Jobs are necessary to survive, but if you died tomorrow....they would replace you before your body is ever buried. Don't allow a job to ever become more important than your family. 

8.  Celebrate EVERYTHING!!! Whether that is a new job, a holiday, a hallmark holiday, or as simple as just waking up every morning. Life is tough enough without living in constant low energy. Get up, get dressed, and find something daily to celebrate. Even if you have to break out some dressy clothes, and heals...put on some makeup and celebrate waking up today to see another day! Stop focusing on all the negativity. It's merely a distraction. 

9.   Sometimes, you have to remind your partner how lucky they are! 😁 Seriously, we are all guilty of taking for granted what we perceive as a sure thing. While I am blessed, a time a couple of summers ago comes to mind, when I was trying to help my husband put in new fence. He's kind of like a non-military drill sergeant when it comes to some things. I wasn't doing something the way he wanted it done, and I decided then that couples should never build fence together or a threat bodily damage with a shovel tends to happen. 

10.  Remember you are married to your partner...not their family. So, when the in-laws should be the out-laws....do not ever take that out on them. We can't pick the families we are born into...we can just learn from their mistakes.

11.  Truth. I am firm in my belief that you should be completely honest with your partner. However, there are times, when you keep some things to yourself. What I discuss with my friends is not always necessary to spill your guts to your partner...you should have a loyalty to friends too. Just as the craze over cell phones has become a thing....if you don't trust your partner, and feel it necessary to go through their cell phone...you do not need to be together. You are insecure and need to grow up! Develop a relationship of trust before you get married! 

12.  Your partner will push your buttons from time to time...expect it. Whether that be intentional or not, it's going to happen. Learn to deal with it. You will probably push theirs too. 

13.  Learn to argue respectfully! Just because you may disagree with each other does not mean you can be an asshole! Many times, I've found we end up arguing...yet we are saying the same things, only differently. Just remember men and women are just wired differently. It's a simple fact. Most men, don't think like we do and honestly...that is a good thing! When you argue, actually listen to understand instead of listening to respond. 

14.  In all the chaos of being married and having children, you HAVE TO TAKE TIME FOR YOU! You can not give all your time and energy to a job, your partner, and kids; without taking a break for you. If you do, you will become resentful, in a hurry! You can not be the best Mom, Wife, or Employee without refueling. I've made this mistake! Trust me, when you decide to start taking a little time for yourself, you will be bogged down with overwhelming guilty. Even though that is unnecessary, it will get the better of you! 

15.  Learn to manage your time, wisely. Don't allow yourself to be so over-scheduled that you can't enjoy life. Learn to be happy with nothing to do or places to go. 

16. Learn to budget, manage your money, and make investment. Again, from my own experience...I am just now learning the investment side of things. I could have done more for my husband and I had know more years ago. Maybe the stupid inflation wouldn't be knocking the shit out of us right now! I don't care if even the most basic budgeting, LEARN IT!!! Learn to save 20% of your income, and live on the remaining 80%. Learn to live on a single income, even if you have a double income. You will thank me for this when you get ready to retire! We would be in a completely different place had I learned more a long time ago. 

17. Learn to shop wisely. This is something that I didn't realize until a few years ago, was even a thing. I was fortunate that my husband and his family showed me how to do this...possibly without even realizing it! After we got married, we have lived a distance from any real town...too much to just go weekly. I learned to plan a menu and purchase the food for that menu. I have spent a lot of years, menu planning and shopping for a month at a time. It cut out a lot of unnecessary expense, and it was one thing I didn't have to figure in my time every week. I still do this, to this day. I plan a menu for a month, go shop for the food, spices, supplies I will need for the month...and I'm done! I won't go again until it's time for the next months needs. It saves you impulse buying, and in turn saves literally...thousands of dollars a year. 

18.  Learn the art of communication! Love is all you need...is a complete crack of shit! Love does not solve most things. Communication and learning how deal with your partner does! You can love someone without liking them all day long! There is more to communicating than just discussing the weather, the tv program, the kids activities and your jobs. You need to stay in touch with your partner. Make goals together, talk about each others dreams, and even any health concerns. This is supposed to be your PARTNER, meaning they are by your side, even if just rooting you on. 

19.  Don't forget to show your love. Yes, sex is an important part of your marriage...but it is not the only thing! I can promise you, you will come to a stage in your life that sex is the furthest from your mind, but affection is not! Learn the difference! To me, affection is knowing everyday my husband comes home from work, he hugs & kisses me, and tells me he loves me. It's little notes being left, saying thank you for all you do. It's that surprise bouquet of flowers...the ones he say growing wild on the side of the road and knew I would love. It's making his favorite dessert, just because it's his favorite. It's taking 2 seconds during the day to say, I love you through a text message. It's letting me vent about my crazy family, something stupid a friend did, or rattling on about a million different things; while looking at me like I'm not as crazy as I feel! 

20. For this final one, on this post:  Never ever forget to say I LOVE YOU! Overuse it! Be dramatic in expressing it. Every day your partner leaves your home, there is a chance something could happen to them. Never allow the last thing you say to someone be anything but, I love you!! 

As I end this new series today, I encourage you to add your own thoughts in the comments. Having a child about to enter the world of matrimony, has be praying that I can save them some of the chaos we have dealt with. I'm sure they will find plenty of their own, but I will help where I can. Be watching the next Coffee Chat for a run down of my 2022 series of writings. I hope you will all join me in this journey and feel free to add your suggestions too!

Salli

Let's Talk

 

2/22/22

Numbers have fascinated me in adult years. Today the numbers/day are incredible; Tuesday, 2nd month, 22nd day, of 2022. That's a lot 2's friends. Praying this leads to a high vibration day for all. 

I debated on what conversation box to write today...Let's Talk or another Coffee Chat. I really decided on this forum because I wanted to try to stick to a single subject for now. I've had a pretty rough go in life for several months again, and it's come to a head. I hit a point that almost cost me 25 plus years of control over my temper. I can honestly say, it has not been just a single issue that pushed this, but a lot of smaller issues that have piled up with a finality of a long time issue that topped it off. So, I want to touch on the generalized areas.

God knows I am no where near perfect!!! I have made my share of mistakes, dumb moves, bonehead ideas, and struggled with self esteem issues. I always say I am stitched together with lessons learned, many the hard way. I have spent my entire adult life constantly trying to be a better person than I was the prior day. I'm not out to keep up with any neighbor. If they succeed...Great!! I am over-the-moon happy for them! I am not materialistic. I really don't have much that I could need or want. I am content, overall, in my life. I have been fortunate enough to have a built in bullshit detector...when I listen to it. What I am NOT....tolerant to stupidity, liars, putting on a show, tolerant of selfishness or shitty behavior. I am beyond grateful for a conversation with a trusted friend Sunday. So, here we go.

Setting boundaries. This is something that should be taught by parents and schools alike! Setting boundaries can be very difficult when you find yourself in a precarious situation. I can't speak for anyone else but for me, I have always tried to be everything to everyone. Saying "no" was difficult for me. Speaking up for what I believed in was easy, but speaking up for myself, me being treated poorly, and what I needed....was not! Learning to manage my temper in my early 20's kept me from a lot of issues, but it also tamed down my ability to fight for myself and my beliefs. I didn't want to hurt anyone else, because I'd been hurt. I didn't want anyone to suffer, as I had, by being alone. I have spent more than 2 decades living by; "be to others what you needed growing up." Let me tell you, it's great advice but it's exhausting. For more than 21 years, I have been a Mom first and foremost. No one, including myself, have ever came before my kids. Their well being, their needs, their wants, etc. ALL came before anything else. Then came my husband. I have supported him in anything he has wanted/needed to do. Even if I didn't always agree, it was my job to support him. Then came extended families, of which there are many for us. Their needs, demands, their well being(even if it meant playing referee and being the "bad guy"). Then came friends, which loyalties have fluctuated through the years from poor choices and behaviors, to lies, to spilling my life with those that didn't fit in the "need to know" category. While others, like me, have had life spin out-of-control, so we only talk on occasion. When all those areas were covered, then came me...what I wanted/needed/etc. I have spent so much of my life trying to pour from an empty cup. 

Toxic is toxic, no matter who it is. Whether it's family, friends, or relationships, toxicity is not good. It pulls you into a dark place and drags you through mud you didn't create. After years of being drug through that mud, it can take a major event to crawl out of or it can take many little issues to break you. I am a strong and stubborn woman, and when I find a crack in my armour....I know it can happen, even to the best. I reached my precipice. It's kind of liberating to write that. Admitting you are breakable, is putting yourself in a vulnerable position. I do not like to ever be in that position, but I'm there. While being in this situation, only a few people will be inside my walls. I have to set boundaries to stop this chaotic circus. I tend to try to fix everything, but I can't....not because of a lack of wanting to, but because I can not take on other's inability to learn from their own mistakes. It is not my responsibility to take on other's poor choices out of loyalty or friendship, genetics or not. I can be civil but I don't need to be involved in any matter. I can and will take on projects that matter most to me, but I won't be taking on questionable behavior to make them happen. I will not allow "so this is what we are doing today," to continue in my life. My cup is bone-dry. There hasn't been anything left to pour out for years. I am changing what I can no longer accept. 

Setting boundaries is not something that happens overnight, but I am fast-tracking it. I am focusing on making the changes I need. While my focus will always be on my family first, even with this, I need to set some boundaries. It's time for some cleansing, time for some removal and finding balance again. Today, I pray for the strength and guidance to do what I know needs done, and the ability to set the path forward on level ground. 

Be Blessed!

Coffee Chat

 

 

 

Coffee Chat

You know, I began writing years ago. Writing has been my outlet for all the chaos that races through my brain. I'm not exactly a shallow thinker. I have always questioned everything, and I guess I was always meant to be in Missouri since, I'm a "Show Me" type of person. Words are meaningless when there are no actions to prove it. Sadly, I have experienced, too many times to count, words that are eloquent, charming and perfectly placed. Only to watch as the actions don't represent those words. So, keep in mind, if you want people to speak kindly of you, you better be kind. Somehow, the truth ALWAYS comes out in the wash!

I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I have spent years, always trying to be everything to everyone. Trying to put my "money" where my mouth is...meaning, going out of my way, even putting my own logic on a back burner, to help. I've gone, many times, against my husband's opinions, to do what I felt was right. I've faced a lot of backlash and some teasing. I've done this with extended family, and some I considered friends. The result seems to always be the same. Take whatever possible until I no longer serve a purpose and then lie to me or ignore me...both have happened. When I speak up, then I am the asshole OR there is some sort of guilt trip. I've bit my tongue, I have dealt with plenty of internal battles over not being good enough, not being one thing or another. Here's the thing, once I'm done, I'm done. There won't be any looking back, no remorse for walking away. I have dealt with enough energy vampires to last my lifetime! I've always heard, "if you need anything, just call." Guess what? No one is around the few times I have needed something. So, I can promise...I will NOT need anything again. I don't go out of my way to be rude, ignorant or bitchy. However, experience and poor judgement has taught me to listen to my intuition. When it nudges me, I need to listen. I wrote it off for a long time as being "wrong" until it was shown to be 100% accurate. I've dealt with enough, ALONE, to know there is NOTHING I will ever face that will require me to "need." 

Today, I'm bouncing between extreme anger and hurt, and then extreme anger for being hurt....again! Whatever. I've dealt with it before and I'll get over it, again. It never makes it any easier, just more frustrating. I truly hate pity parties and the "poor me" crap, so I won't go down that road. I focus my little world, my husband, my kids, and our little piece of heaven...but sometimes, I get knocked off my feet. I ALWAYS GET BACK UP, and when I do...I'm stronger, more determined and colder. This time, I have reached that "done," stage. 

I'm going to kick up some music and keep my hands busy until I can get outdoors for longer. Too much has been messing with my own peace of mind, and allowing toxicity to enter my personal safe space. I withdraw for a reason. It's time to withdraw, refocus, find my peace of mind again, and let God handle what I can not! 

Peace!

Salli's Soap Box

 

Today's soap box is going to be a conglomeration of topics. My mind is full, my heart is speaking and my intuition is SCREAMING! It's time to write. 

 

If you have followed me for any time, you know I have dove into research the past several years. I'd be apt to say, probably thousands of hours worth. I used Google until they started their censorship crap, then switched to Duck Duck Go and even now there is less on there than before. So, I'm searching again. There have been so many areas of this research that has gotten my attention. Initially, it was the information, "conspiracy theories" that I would see pop up in online news, that seemed so far fetched...I thought, "no way is that true," but I dug around around a little...and low and behold...the proof was out there. When theory after theory proved to be true...that opened my mind even more. Then more realizations began to take hold. As Americans, we are quite arrogant, at least in my minds eye. We tend to focus on right here, the American people, our founders, our "area" and our issues. So, many neglect to realize that other areas of the world are thousands of years older than America. So, their history is more advanced, more documented, ascends our education in the states! Sure, we are taught SOME world history, but we are seriously devoid of 85% plus, of it! I've heard people say they don't care what goes on outside the states, and I see that as ignorance. The human race, means all of us, worldwide. Not just in America, the UK, France, Germany, China, or anywhere else. There are BILLIONS of people worldwide, being controlled by the top 1%, theoretically. Every single nation of people, has been manipulated by those 1%, that claim to speak for their people. It's the governments NOT the people that have committed the atrocious acts. 

I have never been someone that has bent to "norms." Much to my parents frustration, I have always walked my own walk, thought my own thoughts, and questioned everything. I was never one that just willingly did something, because I was told to. I always went with my gut, and sometimes spite...being told not to just gave me the nudge to do it anyway. "Tell me I CAN'T do something, I WILL do it, twice...and take pictures!" Sadly, this lead to lots of issues growing up, but has given me courage as an adult. There is much to be said for people of strong will(or stubbornness...whatever you want to call it!). I have always been sensitive, always had that inner voice guiding me, and always believed in what my heart felt. So, as time as ticked on, I guess I have always questioned authority. From my parents to teachers, from employers to government....no one escapes that questioning. I grew up with a U.S. Air Force Dad, that taught me early to respect our flag and our anthem. He taught me to respect our military and all who serve. I was taught that it was my civic responsibility to vote, to defend my freedom, and to defend the United States Constitution. With those teachings, It never occurred to me I would ever see the day that regular people in America, would be required to stand up and actually defend themselves - FROM THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT. More on that later. Anyway, through the years, I have learned a lot of lessons...many the hard way. My first child, I tried to follow the fold, and "do what I was told." Yeah, that didn't last long. I realized quickly that no one knows a child better than their mother. Us moms, carry those babies for 9 months within our own bodies. Our body provides the very life within us. While some mothers are piss-pour at best, most do the best they can with what they have to work with. We question our own intuition when we get all the other input; from doctors, family members, friends, etc. What we are never taught, is probably the most important. Listen to our instincts, listen to that inner knowing. Sadly, we have become a "one size fits all" society, and that is just not true. Every single one of us is different, unique and perfectly imperfect. As I learned, I realized that while so many like to give advice, no one outside your own 4 walls knows exactly what's happening. There are typically 3 sides to every story - the left side, the right side and somewhere in the middle is the truth. By the time my second child came along, I had learned enough that I didn't trust anyone, outside of myself. I had dealt with my cancer and the protocol for that, which caused me serious issues with the birth of my second child. I had spent hours learning why my body would miscarry multiple times before I carried my second child.  I watched my second child suffer through a massive allergic reaction that about killed her. It was at this time, I learned everything I could, including getting a natural health certification, about holistic medicine. The modern medicine was all about profit, and many healthcare people were not in the field for helping people...but instead for the money. Since then, I have become even more skeptical and more untrusting. My natural questioning persona, came out in full swing in January 2020, and by March of that year....I once again dove into researching. Since then, I have learned so much, had to fight through severe cognitive dissonance, and have gone from mad beyond belief to crying my eyes out for the evil that has been done. 

With all that being said, I say this: Do NOT trust anything/anyone without doing your own research, period!! What I have learned, researched and seen proof of....would blow your mind. I know many people that did not like President Trump, and that's ok. That is their choice. However, if you truly want to understand what the hell has happened to our country, you have to be able to face the good and the bad. He did a lot of good things for this country. Yes, his arrogance and "mean tweets" upset people. Whatever, grow up. I recommend getting the education of what he actually did, around all the bogus crap he was constantly fighting with, for America and realistically, for the world. Do you remember $1.39 gas? Do you remember the peace treaty(Abraham Accord) in Israel? Do you remember NO NEW WARS in 4 years? Do you remember the executive orders for child/human trafficking? How about the the E.O. for cleaning up the oceans? You probably didn't hear about most of this because both political parties were out to discredit him. Both parties were jeopardized by President Trump demanding law & order, without special privileges for the politicians. He returned the true power back to the people of this country, by the means of returning power back to the individual states, instead of centralized governments one size fits all. Do you even realize that our individual states, per the 1776 Constitution, have MORE power than the federal government? How about the fact that our local Sheriffs have more authority than even our governors, not to mention the federal government? Is the sheriff in you county a Constitutional sheriff? Do you know and have you researched anyone running for an elected position in your town, county, state? I quit buying into the party system YEARS ago. They are not different, they are the same...they look out for themselves, and their special interests/projects....not you! Did you know that you are entitled to a receipt for vote? You are! When we vote, it is not just for the the president, vice president...although that has become the main focus. It's also for the down ballot elections. So, if you vote a straight ticket, either party, you don't know what these people stand for. These people running for elections, what have they done? Have they been elected multiple times because of neglect on the voters part to stop playing the party game? Do they have a good record of doing good in our communities, have they been in their positions and running for re-election - have they done anything that they have said they would do? Who is funding their campaign? Will they lead their position to promote our Constitution federally and locally? What is their background, i.e. doctor, lawyer, local farmer? What are plans if they get elected? Have you seen these candidates in your communities? They want your vote, are they proving that to you?

I think we've all known a snake in the grass. They look harmless, even beneficial for one thing or another...but they are mean, they are nasty, and they are evil. They talk a good game, but once elected...they are worthless, go against every value of the community they represent. This also goes to employers. Nothing will kill a good employee more than watching a bad employee being continually rewarded. Once a snake, always a snake!! Anyway, right now, we have those in elected positions that have made a career of "public service," not to mention making themselves millionaires. We are now hearing how many of them have managed to get away with insider trading. Didn't Martha Stewart go to jail for that? Why exactly are we allowing these snakes in the House and Senate get away with this? When, exactly, did these snakes become above the law? Most of these politicians have been pretty successful in the game of divide and conquer. It seems that they keep pushing this game.  Whether it is race, religion, nationality, city/suburb/rural, red/blue state, gender, sexual preference, or whatever...they are constantly adding fuel to a fire that was just smoke before. Have we all forgotten that WE ALL BLEED RED? There is no us vs. them on any of those things. What is or should be is us vs. them, when it comes to our rights as American's. I have watched families quit talking, and friendships ended because of these falsely claimed "divisions." The ONLY division should be we the people vs. the government. United we stand, Divide we fall. The largest majority of people worldwide, hold no prejudice. We want to be able to live free, enjoy our freedom, make a good wage, support our families, and keep the damned government out of our lives. 

We have been lied to for so many years. Whether you choose to believe it or not is on you. Did you know that our tax system and the federal reserve were unConstitutionally installed? It bypassed Congressed and was NEVER ratified. Our tax system was supposed to be VOLUNTARY. The federal reserve has nothing to do with being federal. It is a privately owned institution, run by 5-6 families...none of which have any reserve. The IRS is nothing more than the strong arm, the bully/bounty hunter for the federal reserve. Our tax dollars do not even stay in the states! They all go to the City of London, and the Vatican. Our money in America...is nothing more than a piece of paper. It has no value. The federal reserve has continued to print money, out of thin air, thus our $30 TRILLION deficit. Yet, we are constantly sending money (that we don't have) to other countries. We constantly hear of the politicians voting through the House and Senate on one bill or another for a trillion here, a billion there, this country or that...what about the American people? They don't care! That top 1% controls the world, including those we supposedly elect, and they refer to us as the "useless eaters." Think about that for a minute or two. Think about this government run everything crap they are pushing. They want you dependent on the government. Why? Want to know what they want and believe? Go read Klaus Schwab's book about the great reset. These people are demented! All this illness crap...now they know who they can control and who they can't. Think that wasn't done by design? Think again!!! Don't you question what has been happening the past year? Doesn't everything seem weirder than normal? If not, get your head out of the sand! Washington DC has been a ghost town for a year now! This "president" is not even Constitutionally legal, due to being sworn in before noon and the VP being sworn in first. Go look up the Constitutionality of this!! Why is Cheyenne Mountain still locked up tight? Don't know what that is??? GO LOOK IT UP!!! Why exactly, is Washington DC a vassal city? Did you know that 10 square mile parcel of land DOES NOT belong to the U.S.? I didn't before March 2020. Just as the parcel of land that holds the vassal city of the City of London(monarchy), and the Vatican. None of these vassal cities belong to the countries in which they lay. They are all private! What was the point of dropping the grammar in DC? Did you know it is Washington District of Columbia? Technically, that is a foreign occupation on our soil, and a belligerent one at that! 

I am amazed by those that have just toed the line the past couple of years. People I considered smart, patriotic, and God fearing people. Yet, they have put on the blinders, and when the government said jump...they asked how high. Give me a break! For me, you better be telling me why, showing me proof beyond doubt, telling my how long I have to jump....and even then, it's probably not going to happen. I hope for so many that were blind, that all that is coming out now about "cure" for the illness is not true or does not happen to anyone. However, when you neglect to understand risks, you neglect to care what is being put into your body...I guess natural selection will take its course. For those that have preached to me about their religious views, yet you were the first in line...what happened in believing in your religion? Doesn't God giveth, and God taketh away? So many prayers have been said, yet do you really believe in those prayers or do you actually trust in man? I'm not going any further down that road. 

If you want to research, I will share some of the areas I have found. However, you need to do this on your own. You may have thoughts or directions different than what I have. I encourage knowledge and research. Ignorance is only bliss until you lose it all because you neglected to learn. Those that just want to "go back to normal," get that out of your head! You honestly believe that the government that you have allowed to take away your rights, is actually going to just give them back? Seriously? It is time to stop being ignorant, start learning everything that has been hidden from us, and open your eyes. 

Let's Talk

 

 

 There's so many things in my life that have made me proud of what I have accomplished, to this point. That's not to say there aren't areas that I have made mistakes or failed miserably...but I do not let those define me. I use those areas to learn and grow from. What I will not do, is dwell on something that I can't fix or use an excuse to become a crutch. I've had plenty to learn from, trust me!

As I have become somewhat of hermit, through the Winter months, I have had so much on my plate to deal with and analyze, and it continues to this day. One thing I have learned in my introspect, I want to be someone that does good for others. Not for recognition, that does not matter. When I can help or do something good for someone else, I feel good. With that realization, also came the necessity of setting boundaries. There are so many out there "appreciate" your help, yet abuse it in the same breath. I'm having to learn to that a helping hand is one thing, but a hand out is another. I have allowed myself to get overwhelmed the past year. In turn, I did what I always do, I shut down and withdraw. From everyone and everything. I have had to find my solid footing again. Unfortunately, when you have too many people demanding too much, and getting no break to refill your own energy...it takes a massive toll. It's the whole theory of not being able to pour from an empty cup. 

So, as I have spent my day running to the barn to check sheep and do my outdoors chores, I have had time to ponder life a little. I really like the moments that I can do that. It helps give me some clarity, helps lessen the anxiety attacks, and reaffirm my strength. I am a strong person, While I have plenty of flaws-I am a good person, and even when I'm not willing to get in the middle of a circus, I am a caring person. What I am not....tolerant: to repetitive poor behavior, liars, saying you'll do something then not. I am not a gossiper and will not spread it. I am not going to be used, when it's convenient and tossed aside when it's not. 

Finding a solid ground for me became necessary the past year, as so much of my life was turned on its head. I have seen so many going through so much worse than I have, but I had to deal with my own crap. I'm almost there. We have all heard that we should think about those worse off than we are. While I agree, I also believe that the issues we face are just as important to us. We have to be able to handle our own issues, which means giving ourselves permission to express them. I'm definitely not saying we need to dwell in them, but many times just voicing them, helps us to find the right path. Especially since we have lived in the sad "Groundhog Day" scenario for 2 years now. 

In the coming weeks, I am working on some projects and look forward to sharing those when the time is right. For now, I'm going to end by reminding everyone to be kind. You never know what someone else is going through...the things they don't talk about. 

Salli