Let's Talk

 

 

 There's so many things in my life that have made me proud of what I have accomplished, to this point. That's not to say there aren't areas that I have made mistakes or failed miserably...but I do not let those define me. I use those areas to learn and grow from. What I will not do, is dwell on something that I can't fix or use an excuse to become a crutch. I've had plenty to learn from, trust me!

As I have become somewhat of hermit, through the Winter months, I have had so much on my plate to deal with and analyze, and it continues to this day. One thing I have learned in my introspect, I want to be someone that does good for others. Not for recognition, that does not matter. When I can help or do something good for someone else, I feel good. With that realization, also came the necessity of setting boundaries. There are so many out there "appreciate" your help, yet abuse it in the same breath. I'm having to learn to that a helping hand is one thing, but a hand out is another. I have allowed myself to get overwhelmed the past year. In turn, I did what I always do, I shut down and withdraw. From everyone and everything. I have had to find my solid footing again. Unfortunately, when you have too many people demanding too much, and getting no break to refill your own energy...it takes a massive toll. It's the whole theory of not being able to pour from an empty cup. 

So, as I have spent my day running to the barn to check sheep and do my outdoors chores, I have had time to ponder life a little. I really like the moments that I can do that. It helps give me some clarity, helps lessen the anxiety attacks, and reaffirm my strength. I am a strong person, While I have plenty of flaws-I am a good person, and even when I'm not willing to get in the middle of a circus, I am a caring person. What I am not....tolerant: to repetitive poor behavior, liars, saying you'll do something then not. I am not a gossiper and will not spread it. I am not going to be used, when it's convenient and tossed aside when it's not. 

Finding a solid ground for me became necessary the past year, as so much of my life was turned on its head. I have seen so many going through so much worse than I have, but I had to deal with my own crap. I'm almost there. We have all heard that we should think about those worse off than we are. While I agree, I also believe that the issues we face are just as important to us. We have to be able to handle our own issues, which means giving ourselves permission to express them. I'm definitely not saying we need to dwell in them, but many times just voicing them, helps us to find the right path. Especially since we have lived in the sad "Groundhog Day" scenario for 2 years now. 

In the coming weeks, I am working on some projects and look forward to sharing those when the time is right. For now, I'm going to end by reminding everyone to be kind. You never know what someone else is going through...the things they don't talk about. 

Salli