Stuck like glue

Imagine fixing something that has broken, of course, you have to use glue. You put your thin strip of glue, affix the broken pieces, and voila...your fingers are now glued to the once broken object. You pull your fingers free, and BAM! Now, your fingers are stuck together. Sure, you fixed whatever was broken, but now you have another issue. Unless you are using the elementary school glue, you have a battle to get the super glue stuff off your fingers so they are sticking to everything!

This becomes the typical scenario in life. You intentionally fix one problem, but create several others. Not by being careless, or ill prepared, but by default. Anyone who has ever used glue, knows that stuff always makes a mess. Life has a way of throwing the super sticky glue at you to see how you will complete the task.

For me, I dread having to glue anything! I know as soon as I break out the tube of glue, there is going to me stuff glued everywhere...except where it's supposed to be. I will fix whatever has gotten broken, and set it somewhere "to dry safely," only to find out it has stuck to the paper towel, my fingers, the counter top, and a near by cup! Then it's a race to clean up any "sticky" area before it dries. Then of course, it's already drying and becoming a permanent set on whatever I may have missed. It's a mess, it's a pain, and it's frustrating.

Much the same in life, is the path of resolve, intent, and results. Most people look to make the best decisions, have the best of intentions, and want positive results. However, sometimes that crazy glue, gets everywhere. It wasn't their intent to have such a mess, but it happens. Being a little too careless, not paying close enough attention, or making a reaction to the mess instead of making a result. Even those with the highest of intention and usually making the decisions can mess up. It's not intentional, it's not for lack of good decisions. It's usually a result of not paying close enough attention, or reacting at a time when they should have taken a few deep breaths.

Now, after a few rash decisions, you find yourself in the mess of feeling stuck. You have neglected to take proactive approaches, and continually reacted to whatever issue presented itself. Instead of taking those deep breaths, allowing some space to clear the air, and making a calm assessment; the overwhelming urge to fix it immediately took control. Some of those rash decisions can be turned around fairly quickly. Others though, aren't as easy.

This is a very general description of society today. Everyone feels stuck in some shape or size. Whether it's their career, home, education, marriage, or just the same old way of thinking; more and more people are feeling stuck. They are seeking acknowledgment to validate themselves, they seek out recognition for accomplishments to feel good about themselves, and/or they do things believing them to be the best because that's what they have always done. No matter how you look at it, people are constantly seeking validation. There are so few anymore that are content within themselves, that they don't need that validation. Sure we all love to get a pat on the back from time to time, but is that what drives you?

People seek out other people to make them happy. People seek out careers to please their family or friends. People seek out associations to further their social situations. People use each other to further themselves. Relationships fail many times for a lack of security or a lack of self. Careers take on a grudging and grueling day to day stress. Homes are bought to fill in gaps, or for the security of the moment, and rather than choosing a career education that you have a passion for, careers are chosen for the most income, for what the parents did or find acceptable, or to fit in what society thinks is appropriate.

How many of us have heard, "oh, it's a job," or "it's a job, you're not supposed to like it. It's there to pay for what you really want." When was the last time you did something you loved, and wondered what it would be like to do that for a living? Or IF you could do that for a living? When was the last time you didn't cringe to go to your job, didn't have to watch your clock for hours just so you could rush off to something else? When is the last time you turned off your electronics to enjoy the company of the people around you?

When was the last time you actually enjoyed life, even if there are a few stresses, when was it? I know for me stresses have been prevalent for quite awhile. I don't like having to constantly react to issue after issue. It makes me feel too stressed. However, there are times when I have had to make some rash decisions, not just to make them, but because of time deadlines, some issue going on in my life or for the purpose of trying to better myself or my family. It's time once again to make some tough decisions. I have spent the past several years hiding from my truth. I am not a typical type of person. Those who know me personally, are face palming their heads, laughing at that! I really never have been. I don't fit a stereo type of any social class. I think for myself, research until my fingers ache, make list after list of pros and cons for any major decisions, more lists for groceries, house contents, animals, wants/needs, you name...I have a list. I'm not afraid to try new things, but I have to feel they will be a better path than the one I am on. I love an adventure, but I love my routines too. I love my country life, but I love an occasional trip to the city. I love my jeans, but love to dress up too. I am happy sitting around a bonfire with a few friends but I'm happy dancing in some club with hundreds of people I don't know. I'm a walking contradiction, I'm told. Honestly, I just hate feeling limited, or restricted. On many things, I lose interest quickly. I have to be inspired to want to keep doing something. It's when I lose inspiration that I start falling into the terrible rut of what I call "Restricted Repetitive Ruts." When I say this, I mean those negative and poor thoughts, "it's the way it's done..I don't like it or agree with it, but it's better than fighting it." It's that horrible phrase I say, and others say as well, "it is what it is." When I say that, it's typically because I can't understand or explain something or it makes absolutely no sense to me. It becomes easier to explain away something by saying, "it is what it is," than try to change it.

We become stuck like glue to the comfort of repetition. Even if it means being miserable, in a dead end job or relationship, even if it means giving more of ourselves than we have to give. We feel stuck, and unable to change. Whether it's fear driven, financial driven or a lack of confidence in ourselves, it brings on more negativity. It causes people to stay in a career that is comfortable in the sense of a guaranteed paycheck, or is what others believe we should do. It causes relationships to become stale, or even broken because of the fear of stepping out of the known path...even if it could completely turn around that relationship. It causes people to stay their current path for fear of what has been driven into so many peoples heads...Failure. Let me tell you a little something about failure. Failure, to me, is not what people have come to think of today. Failure, to me, is when people refuse to try, for fear of not making something work. Failure does not mean you didn't make something work for you, failure is not trying period. Trying something, and not having it work the way you planned, that is simply a tool telling you to try a different route.

Why not try something new, if you aren't happy? I know I have heard a million excuses, and I have given a million reasons. Some of the biggest excuses include money, homes, relationships, and location. Guess what, if you are really wanting a change, wanting something different, the only one that can change it is YOU! You shouldn't feel stuck, or bad or even feel you have to apologize. If what you are doing isn't working, fix it! Take some time to decide what you are looking for, what want to experience, and where you want to be. We all know that finances will play a role in your decisions, but do not let them control your decisions. Even if you have to start something small scale, you can build up to it. Find a way to accomplish what you want, then work towards it!

The only reasons you are truly ever stuck, is because what you think you want, isn't big enough to push you out of your comfort zone. Don't be afraid to climb out of the ruts and bury those suckers! You deserve to be happy!

Unstuck,
Salli