It's time for some coffee chat. This crazy world of ours seems to spiraling out of control into a deep, dark, abyss. I am becoming very disappointed by people, events, and expressions; that seem to be on the verge of stupidity! Surely, with all the "safe chemicals," they put in everything, people should not be loosing brain cells! Between all the chaos, fighting, rioting, ignorance, and relationship demises...people can see the destructive path we are on.
As I have discussed in previous blogs, 2015 has been the year for divorces/indiscretions in my world. Since the beginning of March I know of 10, and have been personally affected 2. I know things change, people change, and people grow apart. It happens. What I don't get, is why now? So many of the divorces I know of are relationships that have 20+ plus years invested. When you are around those going through a divorce, it becomes harder to know how to talk to them, and sometimes(in one case I am personally around) how to act. I don't want to lose the friendship, but I also don't want to deal with the drama or B.S. that is going on. I try not to judge anyone, because there are plenty of things that go on behind closed doors that no one knows about. However, when you are going through a divorce, why would throw a new relationship in the face of someone you once said you loved, let alone the children you share? I don't agree with it, and when it comes to kids being involved...they are my concern. The adults can fend for themselves. I don't care how old the kids are, a divorce takes a huge toll on them. Knowing so many relationships are in bad shape, and the people are seeking gratification outside their relationships, makes me sad. A relationship is supposed to be a sacred bond between two people. Unfortunately, that just isn't the case most of the time, anymore.
The rioting here in the U.S. has become stupid! I read a social media post today about someone calling for all white police officers to be shot. Not only was I appalled, I was shocked! How on Earth has our country gone so far in reverse without someone seeing it? I will not dispute that there are officers out there that get a "big head," and behave badly. However, those are not just in one race. I am so sick of hearing about race, I could scream! Last I knew, we all bleed red, and were supposedly created by the same creator. Does that not make us all "related" so to speak? Give me a damned break! You want equality; behave with some lawfulness, act with some class and have some damned respect! I don't care what race you are, I don't care what religion you practice, and I don't care if you are male or female! If you break the law, you deserve the punishment! You don't go into your neighborhoods, loot the very businesses that are trying to serve your community, you don't behave like a bunch of rabid animals! Come on people - WAKE UP! You all are smarter than this! You don't like the laws? GET AN EDUCATION, AND RUN FOR OFFICE! Get out of the mentality of everyone owing you something! You are not OWED anything! If your ancestors were treated badly, that is sad...but it was not you! You need to do better for yourself. I don't see my Native ancestors behaving badly, when they are still treated plenty of disrespect! Get over yourselves, get jobs, get an education and quit using lames excuses as a crutch!
Once again, I know my opinions will probably fill my inbox with plenty of hate mail, but good grief. I grew up around police officers, and almost all of them I knew were good people. They had families to support, they followed the law, and if someone was breaking the law...it was their job to arrest them. Most officers, are good people. Most of them live in the communities they are to serve and protect. While there are some that abuse their position, the biggest majority do not, and would not! They put their lives on the line each and everyday they put on that uniform.
I know today's coffee chat may repeat some of my other blogs, but some of these issues really have me riled! I see comments on social media, read articles written, and hear so many different conversations; it tends to send me into orbit! When it comes to people knowing who I am, most do not. I tend to keep to myself, mainly because I am such an opinionated person and will debate anyone. What I don't want is to have confrontations. I get riled, and will voice my opinion. I am usually happy to listen to another opinion, IF it's an educated opinion. I don't handle opinions that just follow the main stream, rather than researching and educating themselves. Then you have the ones I refer to as educated idiots. These are the ones that go to college, read the way things should be/go, and once they graduate...they are automatically experts on EVERY subject. These are the ones, sadly, running our country. People that don't know what it means to live on $35,000 yearly income. The ones that are more than happy to raise our taxes, and send our tax money to countries that hate us. These are the ones that, a majority, wouldn't know what it was like to have to put in a real days work. The ones that are happy to line their pockets with their ever increasing incomes, their huge chunk of tax payer paid pension, and then take on an after retirement job with one of the companies that paid them while our tax dollars paid them.
Politics is yet another area that keeps me riled. I am a smart person. I have a degree and I have real-life experience, but the politicians just amaze me. I am not Democratic and I am not a Republican. I will typically vote for whomever seems to be the best for the job at hand. I can tell you, every single politician in office today, I would not vote for! They have no morals, they are happy to lie to get the position they want, and they are more than happy to sell out to the highest bidder. Somewhere along the way, our Constitution and Bill Of Rights has been used as a door mat, and our political leaders were the offending subjects. Our country has stepped into civil wars we had no right to step into, we are sending money to countries that hate us and our country is broke to start with, we are exhausting our military by continued deployments, and our domestic areas...WOW! Our economy has supposedly grown, though I'm not sure where. Our morals have been lost, our good jobs have been sent out of the country, our healthcare system is broken and now in a state of complete chaos, our monetary values have decreased terribly, and now we are giving illegal immigrants a "free pass." It sickens me to think about all our veterans that have fought for this country and are now being treated like dirt. The family members of mine, that fought World War II, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan; They are now seeing the country they fought for falling in a heap, they aren't getting the medical care they deserve, and some of them are still being deployed to regions that may as well be classified as war zones. These men and women are the pride of our country, yet they are walked on, used, and lied to.
We, as Americans, have allowed our liberties and rights to be trampled in the name of "security." We, as Americans, are allowing politicians of BOTH parties to ruin our beautiful country. We are allowing big corporations to take over the small businesses that built this country. We are more than happy to accept the poisoning of our minds and bodies in the unproven experiments of those large corporations. We have become a society that wants it all, and we want it now. We are accepting of huge personal debt, we are accepting that our food is actually produced at a grocery store, we are accepting that being politically correct, is correct. We accept that what we have is never enough, that we must go spend our hard earned money on things we neither want nor need...just because someone else has it, we have become a society of consumerism instead of capitalism. We go buy large homes to impress that take 40 years to pay off, we buy new vehicles that take 7 years to pay off, we have credit card debt that just grows each year, and for what? So we can impress people we don't like to start with?! I just don't understand the thought processes.
Today is May Day. The first day of May, some celebrate with the wrapping of the May pole for fertility. This was a big celebration when I was young. In Kindergarten, we had a May Day celebration, with the May pole. However, each year after was less and less. I have learned that the May Pole was actually a Pagan tradition, and as our country became more and more politically correct, the May Day celebrations became more offensive. By the time I got to grade school, we would grow flower seeds in paper cups to hang on the doors of people we care about. That only lasted a few years before there was nothing left of May Day, other that just being the first of May. It has me curious how many more of these celebrations have been left by the wayside in honor of being "politically correct."
In recent years, I have seen so many areas that have a positive impact on me personally. The rise in Farmer's Markets, the growth of people growing their own food, people buying organic food, the continued growth of holistic health, the acceptance of lifestyles different that what is considered the normal. It's all a positive growth, however, I have seen so many that refuse to accept many of these as well. So many of the small local businesses that had once shut up shop, are now coming back. A lot of people are figuring out that shopping local has more added benefits than saving a few dollars at a big box store. The personal touch at a local store is unmatched! Bartering with neighbors for goods and services you need is another area that is increasing. I think back to September 2001. Although that was such a dark day in American history, think about comradery of Americans. A large part of American households proudly displayed their American flags, the constant bickering over irrelevant subjects ceased, people in general found humanity again. It was nothing to have a stranger smile when you walked past, or a stranger start a conversation. Now, we have riots and fighting over race, religious beliefs, and what is or is not acceptable. Mother Teresa once said: “I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.” While I am not religious, this amazing woman was truly a saint.
It's been said, when you focus on what you want instead of what you don't want...you focus will become your reality. I can't help but wonder what people are focusing on. So many of the people I know, focus on their issues. They are lacking in some area, so that is their focus. They neglect to see all the beautiful areas of their lives. They neglect to see the forest through the trees. Then you have so many others that are quick to judge everyone for everything. Yet, they neglect to understand why they are being judged. They have forgotten to close their own closets and their skeletons are there for all to see. We all make mistakes, we all do what we feel is best, and it's not going to be the same for everyone. Each of us have different wants, needs and desires. There isn't a saint left on this Earth, so there is no one qualified to judge anyone else.
As I listen to conversations, and complaints, I am learning that the majority of people do not think or feel as I do. That's ok, and is how it should be. However, I look at the repetitive complaints of employers and have become dismayed by it all. So many employers I know, have the same exact complaint...those they are hire, have no work ethics, no skills, and no real ethics. These are the 3 main complaints. This is somewhat tied to getting an education I spoke of earlier, but different too. We have become a society of technology. How many times do you walk through a store and the biggest majority of the patrons are either talking on the phone or texting? How many times are you driving down the road and other drivers are on their phones? How many times do you go into a store, make a purchase and the cashier counts your change back? Then I look at the younger generations. The generations that have grown up with technology. The kids, to me, that can't carry on a conversation unless it's in some screwed up language in a text message. Do you know how many times I will be trying to have a conversation with someone, only for them to be sending a text message, on their phones, or using some online app on their phones? This is disrespectful, and completely pathetic to me. If I am taking my time to talk to you, or visit with you...lose the damned phone! The only times I do not have issue is in the case of emergency, or if you have kids you must check on! It's rude, disrespectful and pisses me off instantly! It is not any different in my household. I am instantly pissed when we sit down to eat supper and someone's phone goes off. I don't care if it's a text message, a phone call or just being on some app....family time is more important that just about anything, and those stupid phones can wait. They are disruptive, and have caused too many people to be lacking in real conversation skills. The whole text messaging thing ticks me off too! If you can't take 5 minutes to make a phone call, you don't need to be bothering me. It pisses me off when I get a text message from someone saying hey, thinking about you...only to get the underlying message of "but not enough to make time to talk to you." It's become so detached of a world with all the technology. Now, relationships are started and ended through text messages, people don't have to take more than just whatever time it takes to type to actually think about someone, and the idea of taking time away from being "busy," is unheard of! When is the last time you got together with some friends...IN PERSON, to visit? When is the last time you turned of those ridiculous phones and conversed with your family - without interruption? Without some sort of technology? When is the last time you were disconnected from everything but your family?
The next complaint from employers is work ethics. I can't say this is a generational thing. Sometimes, you can say well...it's a baby boomer generation thing, or a generation x thing. The entire society, that works, is struggling. Many different ages groups fall into this. They want the pay check, but they either don't want to show up or they do show up and don't know squat! Then they expect high wages, and they are undeserving of them. This seems to be a rising issue anymore. Those working at minimum wage level wanting $10-$15 an hour. Let me tell from the experiences I have had...not too many deserve minimum wage, let alone more! I don't care if you have a degree. If you do not have people skills, if you do not have actual experience in your field...you deserve minimum wage. You want more income....do your job, do it above all expectations, and watch as your income grows. You want to be illiterate, belligerent, and behave like a barbarian...you should take minimum wage and be happy! Unless you are going out there everyday, doing the absolute best you can do, doing your job without complaining, you are not worth an increase in pay. If you can't show up on time everyday, and do the job you were hired to do; you don't even deserve the job to start with. I don't care if you work at McDonalds, Wal-Mart, in an office, or even clear up to president. If you are not doing the job you were hired to do, you are lucky to be making minimum wage! You want more money? Do more to earn it! When you walk into a place of business, and the employees are cussing or complaining about their job; they completely disregard a customer because they are on their phone or are not smart enough to answer a question...these are what employers are happy with. These are a few areas that will either raise your income or cause your income to be stagnant.
Showing up to work and doing the job hired for, is another big complaint. After working with several companies as a business management consultant, I learned real quick why so many employers get tired of hiring. You have a potential employee come into your office, they claim to have some sort of experience for the job you are hiring for, you hire them only to learn that they don't know even a fraction of what they said they did. If you go to an interview for a job, and you say you know something....you sure as hell better know it! When an employer hires you, they are looking for a specific qualification for a job they need done. They do not have the time, resources or desire to have to stop what they need done to train someone who doesn't know what they claim to know! If you are not qualified for a job, DO NOT APPLY! If you have the education but not the hands-on experience, do not lie about it and do not demand an hourly rate of pay that would be acceptable for a qualified person, but not someone just starting out. Be willing to start at the bottom and earn your way up. Just because you got an education, does not automatically qualify you for top pay. If you take a job, you better show up! You may get the job, but if you don't show up or don't show up on time, you are unworthy of the job. Most jobs have set hours. If you are scheduled to work 8-5, show up by 8 at the latest. Stay until 5, and do your job. Unless you have been there long enough to earn vacation time, or personal time or there is a REAL emergency...you do not have the right to not show up or to leave early. Other employees should not have to pull their weight plus yours. If you slack on doing your job, you shouldn't expect to be rewarded!
I have listened to many complaints from employers, and most of them I agree with. I agree that someone that does not do their job should not be rewarded, but I do believe that when you have employees that are doing their job and then some, they should be rewarded. A business is only as good as it's employees. If you have the wrong employees, there are many more out there looking for work!
I am on a bit of a rant with many areas of life, that I deal with. Between the 2 divorces that have affected me, the technology that irritates me daily, hearing complaints about employees, the lack of knowledge and ignorance of so many, and trying to keep most of my opinions to myself...it can be challenging. I have always heard the phrase "ignorance is bliss." This couldn't be more true in so much of our world today. It's really disappointing to hear so many with the everything is owed to them attitude. It's disappointing to see programs designed to be a hand up, become more of a hand out. It's disappointing to watch society withdraw into technology. It's frustrating and depressing to see that happening in my own home. It's hard to accept all the negative attitudes and opinions. It's hard to listen to all the complaints about finances when people aren't willing to make changes in their spending habits to better their financial security. It's hard to listen to arguments about increasing minimum wage when those throwing the fit are uneducated and unable to make their case because they are illiterate. There are plenty out there that do deserve an increased minimum wage, because they work their tails off. There are plenty of good, hard working people out there but those that don't fall into those groups far out number them.
I am going to end this coffee chat with a few of my own thoughts. I know technology has become a large part of our lives, even if I don't like it! I know that there are so many who bust their ass at a job and are not rewarded for it, I know there are so many people that just try to get through each day. I know there are great advances in medicine that have their place in healthcare but people need to nurture their mind, body and spirit; and they will see an improvement in their overall health. More people need to grow a garden. I know, this will give me a few more nasty grams, but it's true! If people grew even just a few things for themselves, they would not only save on their grocery bill(in preserved) but would also be eating healthier. I know frustrations set in when your job isn't going as you wish, or your finances take a hit, or you have a bad day; but that is no reason to not do your job, not keep working on your finances, or take a walk to clear your head. Quit making excuses for bad behavior, for not making changes, for not doing something. Excuses are nothing more than a crutch! You either are willing to better yourself or you're not. There is nothing in between. If you have to make changes in your life, there will be resistance from those who have known you to always do the same things. That's ok! Those that are meant to stay in your life will learn to accept the changes and will not only grow with you but also help you grow.
Take some time to connect with people. I mean REALLY connect, not through phone calls, text messages or emails. Take time out of your "busy" schedule to actually visit with people, talk to people, spend time with those who mean the most to you. Don't use the excuse of being to busy, to connect. Life is really short. Even the best of intentions do not mean much if you never act on them.
Salli
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