Coffee Chat and always more!

 

June 6th Coffee chat and always more!

I have spent so much time the last few months struggling to put words to my thoughts. That is very unlike me. I write to get thoughts out, so I can focus and work through issues. So, having to battle just what and how to say anything, has kind of hampered working through anything. 

Today I woke up with a very heavy heart. I understood why, pretty quickly. Part of it, was not necessarily my own emotions. That can be a real challenge when you experience the deep emotions of others. When I first was tuned in to this "ability" it was completely overwhelming. It wouldn't matter if I was home, out shopping or anywhere there were other people...I've learned to manage it a little better now. Sometimes, I still get blind sided when emotions are strong or deep seeded. It can be a blessing and curse.It is difficult for some to grasp how overwhelming this can get. The same can be said for gut instincts. I do my best to listen when that nudge from who knows where, tells you something is wrong/off/bad...but I'm human. I always believe I can handle anything. Sometimes, I'm wrong. 

Waking up with that heavy heart this morning, it was a challenge to do what I knew I needed to do. Today, was the monthly veteran coffee meeting. Each month, I am allowed to spend a few hours with veterans, young and old, listen to services offered for the veterans, and in the 6 years of attending, many times I am asked to speak too. Today was a day I knew I would be speaking. Speaking in public is not an issue for me, I'm not good, but I don't mind doing it. I was speaking from my heart about our annual veteran hunt. I don't handle being vulnerable well, so when I am speaking about something that means so much to me...that's exactly where I am. Sharing my connection to veterans for the newer attendees, and having cheers when I speak about my Dad being an Air Force Vietnam era Vet, and my Grandfathers being WW2 Army vets...makes my day. Those men and women, bring me peace...even if I sometimes get overwhelmed. We decided to expand our hunt this year to 8 veterans. We won't go any larger so we can keep this event top notch for the veterans. Explaining that we had 21 entries wanting to attend, but only 8 spots to fill. Sharing that we are working on fundraising, and welcoming each of the veterans at the meeting to come out to enjoy the meals and get to know the veterans attending. Even having an Iowa Senators assistant, make it a point to visit with me and to let me know she would be attending the event this year. The local VA office in Keosauqua has 2 of the most amazing women working hard for the local veterans. Barbie and Marcella, seriously are top notch women!! 

I want to touch on a few other things. Here at the farm, we have reached the prepare stage of late Spring/early Summer. I've mentioned before this cycle we have....prepare for 6 months, to get through 6 months. This includes the gardens, fruits, hay, clearing out barns/coops, making repairs, doing maintenance, going through data to see what worked and what didn't the last 6 months, planning, preserving the foods we raise/grow, any projects that require decent weather to accomplish and trying to make some time to relax and enjoy our blessings. We are now in that period. While we live a simple life, it is far from easy. Economic distress has postponed a lot for a lot of people. Market fluctuations have had costly effects on most that have to deal with that too. Since we home school, we have finished our school year, but are now in the prep period to start the new one in July. The amount of paperwork required for each and every area previous stated...is atrocious! So, maybe my business degree is getting used after all?! Anyway, like I said..it's a simple life, but it is NOT easy! 

What has become easy for me, has been getting bogged down by too much. It's easy to get so wrapped up in my responsibilities, that I forget to make time for fun, laughter or even leaving the farm for a month at a time. I could easily work 6 am until midnight every single day, and still not get everything done that I need or want to. It's easy to find a routine that allows projects, daily chores, paperwork, etc. that does work...but before you know it, a month or 3 have passed you by. Really, I am happy to be on social media that reminds me of birthdays, anniversaries and memories! Sadly, I would probably forget a lot, only because my days run together and I rarely know what day it is. I am awful about my cell phone too. I set it down only to forget about it for hours or lose it all together, I will read messages and then forget to respond. Some days, I'm a mess, y'all! 

Many of you know, my gardening is my go-to thing. I love gardening, starting seeds, trying new things, learning new things, and taking every possible online course to help grow my knowledge. The main garden this year has tomatoes, bell peppers, banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, zucchini, cucumbers, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, lettuce, radishes, beets, green beans, horticulture beans, kidney beans, corn, sunflowers, pumpkins, cantaloupe, and watermelon. We have had so much rain, I have some replanting to do. My new garden, may not have been a great idea, since I can't keep the ducks and chickens out of it. It currently only has potatoes and sweet onions. I do plan to put some late crop tomatoes, bell peppers, and green beans; in there. My strawberries have done decent this year, but again, I can't keep the ducks out of them. My horseradish is growing well, although I have a lot to learn about that. Our fruit trees and vines are looking a little bare this year. I decided to try to start some blueberries from seed. We'll see how that experiment goes. I have herbs that are actually growing this year, so I have to relearn how to preserve them. I have also decided to try to some container gardening. I believe in learning a well rounded method of growing my own food. This means a lot of continued education, but knowing that no matter where I live, I could make sure my family eats is a high priority. As I shared earlier, the economic distress of continued rise in food prices and supply break downs, it makes sense to have a means of providing quality food to my family. Since we do prepare, as I have continually encouraged you all to do, these gardens are a main staple to our pantry/preparedness. Again, it's a simple life, but it requires a lot of hard work. 

I mentioned home schooling, well that has been a jolt this week. My baby, begins her Sophomore year of high school in July. This is my last few years of wearing the teacher hat. It's a really difficult transition for me, knowing that the job I love the most...being a mom, will be making another shift. When my oldest graduated, I spent several days in tears. I have never been a mom, that wanted to be away from my kids. I love spending time with my kids. Anyway, I had to adjust the mom hat away from the norm and into "he's an adult, you have to let him spread his wings." Well, then my baby boy got married, and a few months later bought a house and moved out. This is what most want for their kids, myself included, for them to become productive members of society. It was and still is, to a degree, hard to step back. This week, as we finished my babies Freshman year, I got another gut punch. Holy crap, she's learning drivers education, she's going into her 2nd year of high school, and when the hell did she get this much older? I know, I will let her grow and spread her wings too...but I've been a little emotional lately, on several issues. So, I started our lesson planning for the new school year. I have to keep a lot of paperwork, and be able to provide transcripts when needed. Although, many businesses and even further education institutions are more than happy to accept home schooled children now...you still need to provide verification that they were actually educated. Even getting a license and insurance, requires proof of good grades for the best rates. I've had battles with both kids about doing school work...again, it's not an easy task. I have threatened to fail them, hold them back a year...and they know I would have if I thought necessary. Fortunately, both kids learned quickly...they may have attitudes...but they got them from their Momma, who has YEARS more experience...and is stubborn as an old donkey! 

I really need to work on some projects today. I wanted to share a few thoughts today, as I said, I woke up with a heavy heart. I will find some busy projects to work through it, but I think deep and feel even deeper. It can make you feel like you're drowning, at times, but I am so blessed and for that reason...I will keep fighting! It's who I am. Have a great day!!