...and where are we supposed to pull THAT money from?!

So, my typical response when I hear about another price increase is, "and what orifice do you expect me to pull that money out of?" That has been a really regular sentiment lately! We are all aware of the gas prices going through the roof, not mention grocery prices. Now, our propane prices have gone sky bound! We contracted our propane in September of 2013, for $1.08 per gallon. As of this morning, if we had to buy it, it would be $5.19 per gallon. At last check, the expected price increase is to be over $8 per gallon. We hear of shortages, and even have heard of price gauging due to all the cold. So, once again, I say..."and where do you expect me to pull THAT money from???"

While we have only furnace and cooking that requires propane at this point, we still average about 800 gallon per year in usage. Do you know how much that amounts to? I do! That would be roughly $850 at the $1.08 we contracted(which is gone already!), $4,150 if we had to buy the 800 gallon today, and $6400 if it tops out at $8 per gallon. How on Earth would anyone, who works for a living be able to pay $6400 just to heat their house???? Well, I will not do it!

I am madder than a hornet right at this point. I am sick of politics - both with politicians and the crazy commodity/wall st. markets. I am sick of the gauging, futures, and all the corporate hands-in-my-pocket crap! I am tired of being told or hearing that the government will fix everything. Have you SEEN what the government is doing? They are lining THEIR pockets with OUR money! They couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heal!

Personally, I have wanted to go off-grid for many years. I'm not talking the extreme of the Amish, I'm talking being self-sufficient without losing some of the modern convenience like indoor plumbing! I'm talking raising/growing all our own food, providing a home that is not only affordable to build, maintain, but one that doesn't leave a huge foot print. I'm talking eliminating the need to pay for stinking water(full of chemicals), propane, and even finding a functional and affordable way to have electricity without the high prices. Our income does not increase every time the other prices do!

Many steps have been made by my family to become more self-sufficient. We have been growing gardens for years, we raise our own meats, have chickens for eggs/meat, and will be trying to find a reasonably priced dairy cow for milk, we are adding to our gardens this year as we found many gaps in our annual food supply missing. I don't make more than 1 or 2 trips to town, or anywhere, per month...so we don't spend a lot of fuel for my truck. We don't eat out, well....we don't unless it's a special occasion...about 4 times a year. We buy a lot of second hand items, redo them and make them "new to us." We love to go to yard sales and auctions. We trade or barter a lot of the things we need/want. We are fortunate to have great family, neighbors and friends. We build/remodel everything ourselves.

Since we are in major conservation mode with our propane,(our last fill about a week ago...was all we had contracted), we have decided it is time to start making some changes to our house. With the colder weather, we found a lot of areas that weren't as weather proof as we had once thought. Not to mention the fact that because the house has leaks, the furnace runs more, and in return, we use more propane. So, in addition to my husband's new business plan, we have decided that it's time to return to a simpler way of getting heat...the only one proven to be cost effective. We are going back to wood heat. No, we are not putting a huge long wood stove in our house....there just isn't room for anything else in here! We are getting an outdoor wood furnace, that will not only heat the house, but our water too. In addition, if we ever decided to , we could add solar panels to it as well. Over the course of 5 years, this furnace will save enough other energy/propane to pay off our home(about $24000). Once Spring and Summer get here, we are re-insulating all the outside walls and roof of our house too. This plan will be a little costly to implement, but even once you figure the costs....the amount we will be saving will still be the amount shown above. Yes, spending $15,000 in home improvements and the furnace, will still net us about $24,000 in savings over 5 years.

We have crunch numbers, tried to find the cheapest routes, and even bought a house we knew would be only temporary to keep our expenses low. Now, we have to do some repairs and improvements so that our cheap house, doesn't end up nickle and dimeing us to death! We knew going into the adventure of home ownership that there would costs, we had to account for. After all, we bought a 22 year old(someone else's headache) home. It was smaller than we wanted, but it was priced well and we could get into it in the time frame we had to work with. So, when all is said and done, we will have about $40,000 invested into our home byt the end of this year, and our home will have the same value. So far, we are still ok, and since our house, buildings and property are valued at 3 times our investment...I am not too worried. I know a new roof and siding will be in the plans for the very near future, but we have to address the immediate needs to be able to do more later!

I have always been mesmerized by those people that use all recycled materials, and build their own environmentally friendly homes. Now, I do believe our time is coming. Our Earth friendly, and pocket book friendly home is beginning to take shape. While we can only do so much with our current home, our plans keep evolving for the home we are planning to build in 5 years or so...once this one is paid off. In the meantime, we are doing what we can to keep our costs low, and get all our debts paid off to be able to be debt free also in those 5 years.Yes, I have been told that this can not be done. I know that this thought process is not conventional in the world today. In my eyes, it's the only logical way of life though.

Too many of us have lived on credit cards and bank loans. It has cost us at least, double of the original price just for convenience, and now we are in debt to our eyeballs. We have to work 12-16 hours a day just to make payments on things we had to have immediately, instead of working and saving for them. The prices have gone crazy, I know. I do not believe that our grandparents or great grandparents would have ever dreamed of having more debt than you could pay off in a year! For us, it will take all of 5 years to pay off our current debt. It will take hard work, major budgeting and being conscientious to get this accomplished. It means not spending frivolously, making extra payments, getting less of what we want and only getting what we need. It means, to me, being responsible for our finances. It means being responsible for our lives and teaching our children the value of hard work. It also means showing our children, by example, that living in debt is a dangerous and irresponsible way of life.

In our home, we are making HUGE changes this year. Some of them will be more subtle, while others will be more than visible to everyone. It is time for change, it is time for responsibility, and it is time to make the younger generation aware that they are our future and teach them how to be hard workers AND debt free!

Bring on these Winter winds of change!
Salli :-)

Flawed, but perfectly Me!

As I finish up my morning coffee (yes, I know it's almost noon!), I am reminded of so many things I have done and continue to do. I have made my share of mistakes. I have probably made more than my share if I really wanted to dig. With every mistake, I have learned something. I have gained valuable knowledge, a little wisdom, and so much strength. I have learned to be compassionate, empathetic, learned to let go, and learned that some things are worth holding on to. I learned several careers, went to college, learned several skills and trades I didn't know, and found love so deep it could never go away. I faced challenges that I had no idea if I would make it through, and learned to listen to myself. I learned to love unconditionally, learned a few skills that I never thought I would enjoy, faced health issues that scared me and left me in a different frame of mind. I found that once you leave some place, it's very difficult to ever return. I found that some of the people you held on a pedestal really didn't deserve to be there, while others that you were fond of deserved to be on a pedestal and I didn't put them there. I learned to compartmentalize not only issues, and feelings but also people. I became cold and uncaring. Then, I learned that your past and the people from your past, have a place in your life. You don't have to live in your past but you can not change it either. Your past made you who you are today, and that can never be discounted. I relearned how to care and love people even when you do not agree with them, or them with you. I learned that I believe in soul mates, dreams, wishing on stars, working hard to achieve your goals, that nature is truly the best medicine for every purpose, and that whatever you put out to the universe you receive back ten fold.

Yes, this is kind of a reflection of my life from age 18 through now. I know so many people have faced obstacles in their life and I am no different. The thing is, each of these obstacles has had a lesson to be learned. I wonder how many of us have actually learned anything though. While my own learning has lead me to try to rise above the road blocks, others have used the road blocks as an excuse to never better themselves. While I don't understand this, I see it regularly...the thoughts I hear is, "This is just the way it's always been. I grew up this way so I know I can never do any better." My response is always, "You're Right!" You know why? The simple fact that they are ok with the way they are and aren't willing to strive for more. While I can't remember at the moment who said it, the statement that fits is this: "Whether you believe you can or you can't...either way you are right." I believe it was Henry Ford...but not certain.

I am a firm believer that I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to, but I have had a few months of late, that I just let the darkness control my thoughts. There is an old Native adage that states we have a battle of two wolves inside of us. We choose which wolf wins the battle by our thoughts. I believe this 100%.

As I work at realigning my spirit and internal peace, I am finding that I must work at this from a multidimensional view. To be a person at peace with myself I must work on every area of my life. I have to work on my health and fitness, emotional and physical states, as well as my thoughts. So many times, we are our own worst enemies. We are constantly listening to the negative, hypocritical voice in our heads. We degrade ourselves. We tell ourselves we aren't pretty, smart, funny, interesting, lovable, caring, or worth what we dream of for ourselves. Quite simply, we don't give ourselves enough credit or enough positive reinforcement to be able to achieve our dreams. We look to magazines for clothing styles, hair styles, what popular, what's "In," and what's "out." What we fail to see is that the only thing we are doing, by judging ourselves against supermodels and current trends, is negating how beautiful we really are.

There is no one else on Earth that can offer what you do, there is no one else on Earth that is perfectly, beautifully, YOU! There is no one that loves you the way you should love yourself. I'm not talking about being self-centered. I am talking about truly loving the person you have become, the lessons you've learned, the people that you love and that love you, and most importantly...loving yourself despite the flaws you see. You may not be the weight you want to be, have the hair you want, or the "stuff" you want. You may not have the spouse, friends or relatives you want...but know you have what you are meant to have at this point in your life. There is no one else on this Earth that can be anymore perfectly YOU!

The best analogy I have: Imagine hundreds of pieces of ripped or torn material. Alone these pieces of material are just that, pieces of left over material. When you take the time to sew each of these pieces together, they become the most beautiful and comforting quilt you will ever see. Each of us is nothing more than millions of pieces of material, that we must diligently sew together to make a beautiful quilt. Each of those pieces of material represents a piece of our lives. The good, the bad, the ugly, the brutal, the beautiful, the challenging, the loving, the caring, the lessons learned. Some days we may be just a beautiful piece of fabric but before long...we become this amazing, beautiful, comforting and warm patch work of fabric. It's up to you how you patch all the pieces together and I would be willing to bet that not a single one of us would do it the same. That is what makes us uniquely, perfectly, flawlessly, individual. We can not be anyone but who we are.

So no matter who you are, where you are in your life right now, you still have room to grow. We all do. Just remember to embrace your flawed but perfectly you, self!

Here is a toast. So coffee cups, or wine glasses in the air. "May 2014 be the year we all finally accept that we are all flawed, we are all imperfect, but we are perfectly us. So, to each of here... Here's to our perfectly flawed selves."
Cheers,
Salli

First week of January....CHECK!

So, we are nearing the end of the first week of 2014. While I would love to say it's been a relaxing start to the year, but I'd be lying! :-) It has been fairly tame when compared to the holiday season, it has been chaos trying to keep animals warm and making all kinds of adjustments to allow for the negative double digit temps! I have heard complaints about it being too cold, that's understandable! It is cold! I have heard and seen people complaining about those complaining. It's quite comical to me. Since we have to get out in the weather, no matter the temps, I would love nothing more than to have fair weather all the time. That just isn't sensible though. We live in the Midwest, we expect cold and snow. However, the temps we have are not normal, these are record setting temps...as in, it's been 30 years since this area has seen temps like this. So, I really believe people have a right to complain it's cold. I personally love Winter, I love the snow and cold. I am not liking the current weather though. We struggle to keep our animals warm when it's cold and cool when it's hot. I would much rather it be cold than hot though! I have said many times, you can only legally take off so many clothes! ;)

Ok, so enough of the cold weather stuff. While life has seriously slowed down for us, it's a temporary slow down! As we are on the down hill slide from Christmas, it's just a short stint before the giant hill that encases our Spring. I am in garden planning mode, while doing some much needed deep cleaning, organizing, and attempting to find some peace within myself. Garden planning always begins in January. New seed catalogs arrive just about daily, and I am already itching to get my hands in dirt! I hope to get more landscaping done this year. Not to mention a few new gardens, some new trees and maybe even a few new flowers. One of the new beds(at least) will be herbs. I love my fresh herbs, but have a horrible time growing them indoors. We are redoing our ramp, so that will require some extra landscaping. I am anxious to get outside this Spring. For me, the gardens are the only good things about Summer! Right now, I am looking outdoors, admiring the beautiful snow, watching a few birds playing in it, and even the wind howling across our little hayfield is like music. This cold and snow is so beneficial for gardens. It has definitely put the gardens to rest for a short spell, and the snows will do much for hydration as they melt and allow necessary nutrients to soak into the soils. We haven't really had enough snow or cold spells in recent years to truly allow for replenished soils. Gardening this Spring will be fun!

Deep cleaning for me, includes scrubbing walls and windows, and minimizing all the "stuff" that has cluttered up around us. It means every single room has 2-3 trash bags, and clothing is sorted to get rid of. It means that functioning in clutter and mess is over until garden season is in full swing. By then, everything gets messy again because I have better things to do than worry about a clean house! So, all the curtains come down to be washed, all the blankets get washed, all the blinds get washed, all the furniture is moved to be vacuumed under/walls get washed, each room is sorted/organized and refreshed. While the cleaning schedule has been only done minimally for the past 2 years, this year I will be back on track!

Spring officially begins in just 73 days, March 20th. That means just about 2 months to get my house in order...both physically and figuratively!

As I begin my organizing, I am arranging my days to allow for "me" time. This "me" time will be for whatever I need...whether it's time in complete quiet, meditation, doing any number of the hobbies I enjoy or even just a soak in the tub. I have preached for years, and not listened to myself, that you can't do anyone any good unless you take care of yourself first. I have put myself on a back burner for many years to give my kids what I think they need/want. It's time for this Mom to take care of herself. I am going to ask for some volunteers each season for advancing my photography. I am going to get back to my crafting, spend every minute possible outdoors, and spend as much time as humanly possible working with my Mustangs. March until November will be busy, but with things I enjoy. It's high time that Salli gets to enjoy life instead of just dragging from chaos to catastrophe all the time! By the time October rolls around, I hope to be in a much better place, emotionally, to prepare for the holiday season, than I was in 2013.

Emotionally, I am letting go of baggage that has been with me, some of it for 30 years, completely! I don't forget, but it's time to let it go. As I have struggled with my inner peace, and getting back to solid emotional ground, I am finding that there are many issues that have basically held me back. After reading a great blog this morning, from a great writer, I am ready to be - perfectly ME! Even as I write this, I am reminded of part of her article that reminds us, we don't need validation from anyone else. We have everything we need within ourselves to achieve whatever it is we desire. We just have to lose the negativity and be willing to jump out of our comfort zones! I am JUMPING out of mine. After being willing to give up my drivers license just 3 weeks ago...I may just need it this year. I may just leave our little homestead more than twice a month this year!

So, for the first week of January...I think it has been overall pretty productive. Now, just to make the rest of my 2014 book, look just as beneficial and productive!

Find beauty in every surrounding!
~Salli~

Holy Cold Spell!

For many of us that have grown up in the Midwest, we are used to cold/snow/wind. However, we have supposedly entered into a "Global Warming." I'm not certain -50 degrees is considered warm....ANYWHERE! While I do believe that we entered into a weather pattern that had warmed for a stint...I think Mother Nature has come back with a vengeance! The Winter weather we are having, and that which is forecast, is the Winters I remember as a child.

Many people talk about the snow storm from 1978, well....I remember this. I have a picture of my brother and I sledding down a snow bank that was taller than our house! I remember Winters that were bitter cold, a bunch of snow, and honestly...I remember one Winter being outside playing football with my aunts and uncles in shorts! I can't honestly remember a Winter since that I would put on shorts...it's been too COLD! 17 years ago, I moved to Missouri. This is farther South than Chicago, so it should be warmer, right???? WRONG! Typically all the weather we have here, affects my family in the suburbs, within a day or 2 of when we have it. The first Winter I lived in Missouri was horrible! There was a lot of snow, it was colder than a well diggers ass, and I learned real quick that if I wanted warmer Winters, I needed to go further South! Since then, we've had cold and snow, we've had a blizzard, we've had warmer(but still above zero), and we've had just down right cold!

I kind of get tickled when I hear stories about the grocery shelves being emptied in hours, before a storm. A quick back story...I grew up with convenience. I grew up where you could always get to town, you were never really snowed in, and as long as you took it easy...you could go anywhere. Fast forward to now...not so much! We live 20 miles from any town, if it snows 3-6 inches, you are snowed in until the plows find their way out here, and you plan ahead for the seasons. I'm talking gardening, canning/freezing everything possible, and never have less than a 30 day food supply on hand during the Winter months. Honestly, in the 2 years we have lived here, I have not been snowed in for more than a day or 2, but the blizzard we had in 2011...had everything halted for 3 days!

I have spent 16 years living in rural Missouri. I have learned to plan ahead for the Winter months, and I have learned to expect the unexpected. With the forecast of -25 to -50 degree temps, it's going to be cold and snow is forecast too. I believe the last totals for us was 3-6" of snow, with 25-40 mph winds. It's going to be cold, snowy, and is going to keep my little family indoors for a few days.

I hope everyone that reads this will check on their neighbors, and the elders. You may be able to prepare, but not everyone can. Make sure to provide your animals with a place to get warm, if they are outdoor animals. Keep children indoors! At those temps, frostbite can happen in minutes. Take care of yourself, your neighbors, and your animals.

Stay warm friends!
Salli

Happy New Year!

Happy 2014! Wishing you all, the best year ever!


2014 is my year to reflect, make changes to things that aren't working, and spend some time focusing on me.

My goals are set, trying to get my emotional mindset set, and focusing on achieving my goals!

I will begin my new 2014 chapter book real soon, but for today....I just want you each to know how grateful I am that you take the time to read this blog and hope everyone is ready to a great year!

Salli