I am thoroughly amazed that we are half way through September already. After a year that has been chaos personified, days that have seemed to be like Ground Hog Day for real, and so much hatred in hearts...it is difficult to think so much of an entire year has been wasted by ignorance, manipulation, and greed. Here on our little farm, life has continued as it must, and projects have been done as time, materials and finances have allowed. Anyone that has lived on a farm, knows that projects are never done. There is always fence to repare, sheds that need repair/updates, equipment that also need repairs/updates, animal care that ranges from bulk feed to veterinary care, and then there is always home updates, family needs, and for us...our outside jobs, and wood for the furnace. You learn that the season changes bring a constant list of preparations. Obviously, Winter prep work is hugely the most, since weather here can keep us grounded in short order. Even with the extra work that goes into Winter prep, it's still my favorite time of the year.
So many of our farm activities have been cancelled this year due to the virus. We, like everyone else, were concerned early on about making sure we did our part to "flatten the curve." However, a virus is not something that should have halted life. Yes, all viruses can be deadly and this one was largely a new virus. Vaccines can be beneficial, but even with the regular flu virus and vaccines we have a massive amount of people that die each year. While I will be cautious and if we are ill or there is a large outbreak in our area, I will steer clear of everyone for a bit...but this should be a common sense approach. If you are sick, and/or are running a fever,stay home. If you feel safe wearing a mask, by all means do so....if not, then don't. Wah your hands regularly, wash your clothing regularly, clean your house, but life must go on. Using panic and parania to frighten society into a third world behavior is demented.
Speaking with a few healthcare friends, and shed a lot of light on the current health situations. These 3 providers are seriously concern for the snowball effect this pandamonium is causing, and I have to agree with their insight. While so many have been in isolation, lockdowns, and overall "social distancing;" this has taken a huge toll on not only physical health, mental health and well being. When you consider that stress is so detrimental to your overall health, you add in job losses, not being able to get together with family & friends, having constant informational overload, constant changing of "science" and you throw in to play the division within society about almost everything anymore, and you have the perfect storm for a serious mental/physical health breakdown. One constant thought has come from all the information...sunlight and time outdoors is good for us all. Even though there are states that have some pretty stingent rules, being outdoors...even in your yard, is cathartic. Direct sunshine is a natural source of Vitamin D. This is a true cure-all for so much. Just think about how much better you feel when the sun is shining! Cleanliness has taken center stage, something that has truly shocked me. Yes, cleaning, and hygiene should be normal, but there is such a thing as too much. As with everything, too much of anything can still be too much. Our children have gotten away from being kids, playing in the mud, having to do chores, and living on technology. As we try to make life better for them, we are making things worse. So many young people are becoming stressed out by the over involvment in activities, trying to keep up with school and the atrocious amounts of homework, and not having to think for themselves. They are being told what to do every minute for 18 years, then thrown into life to think for themselves, and they are not prepared. We need to find a balance with mental health without compromising their civic responsibilities. I don't the answers here, I wish I did. We have so many young men and women that don't know how to sew a button on their shirt, how to cook a basic meal, let alone how to work on their own vehicle. They spend too much time playing video games to realize that real life is nothing like a game. Somewhere along the line, we have become a society devoted to extremism.
I will not dwell much in this little soap box, because frankly, politics just piss me off. I am going to just expand on yet another area of extremism. Elections in the states have become pretty heated each cycle, the older I get. I very rarely ever look at a single side of the political spectrum. I have voted both parties, but I vote on records, people, and agendas...not party. The election cycle seems to become a another area of manipulation and mud-slinging. Each party believes their candidates are the best, and you have those who do vote party only. While I have had many times I have voted for the lesser of two evils, I always try to vote whomever is staying in line with the Constitution. Too many in our country are willing to trade a false sense of security for the very freedoms within our Constitution. The very politicians that continue to be elected into office, are lining their pockets selling their souls, to keep their power and enslave the American people. I personally believe that ALL elected politicians should be held to a term limit equal to the President. They should not be allowed to have benefits that do not apply to ALL Americans, they should have to pay into Social Security and Medicare just as we are required to. They should not receive life long pensions, not should they be allowed to run our country trillions of dollars into debt. This applies to ALL politicians, from BOTH parties. Whether you realize it or not, Democrat or Republican, they are all the same. They are manipulating Americans, they are pathalogical liars, and they are greedy.
Off that soap box, and on to the next. Most people that know me, know that I am opinionated, pretty strong-willed, and do my best to always be kind. I have found myself in a moment that is truly testing my own self-perseptions. While I think being strong-willed and opinionated is a family trait, I do my best to be open-minded. I live by a few theories..."to each their own, do unto others as you would have done to you, and it's not my job to judge others as I am not perfect." However, this year has had me questioning so much. I hate to whine, and allow myself to get into a pity party but some days, it's a challenge to pull myself out of that mentality. I can't remember a time that when I have gotten overwhelmed, I have not withdrawn. I'm told this is a coping mechanism, an unhealthy one, but one none-the-less. I attempt to keep on the straight and narrow, but if I know or believe I am right...I will go toe-to-toe with someone. While I am very outspoken, I will withdraw a little at a time when I no longer feel I am effectively doing what I need to do. Many times, I withdraw into myself to evaluate my thoughts. Whether they are happy, sad, angry or content. It doesn't matter. If I am overwhelmed, I withdraw. There are very few people that realize the extent of this withdrawl. I tend to care too much. I don't care if people like me, that is not even on my radar. Most people don't like themselves, so why would it matter if they like me?! I care because I see or feel people's intentions. I can't explain this emotion, as much as I would like to. For me, people tend to show their true colors pretty fast, once in a while, I am tripped up by someone that pulls the wool over my eyes, but not often. Once I get a bad vibe from someone, I'm done with them. I have managed to overcome several trials in my life, and to do so with my heart somewhat intact. I will not allow anyone to stay involved in my life that is toxic to me or to my family. I can't. Life is such an overall short journey.
I know there are so many of us that have entered a new phase in our lives. I'm speaking of all the ladies dealing with this lovely peri-menopausal phase. It wasn't enough to have the puberty, maturing to the birthing years; now, we have this phase. The emotional roller coaster, the hot sweats, night sweats, cold sweats, crazy cravings, weird body changes, headaches, itchy skin, not to mention feeling like you're losing your mind! This is yet another right of passage, I suppose. I can tell you, feeling like your brain is in a fog, not sure whether you want to guzzle a bottle of wine or empty a pot of coffee, craving food you don't even like, many of us are still juggling younger children, trying to keep our marriages afloat, keep up with jobs, friends, family and not loose our shit on a daily basis...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Hitting my mid-40's, doesn't bother me. I love my birthday's! However, this new phase is insane! I truly understand the term mid-life crisis. Not in the general sense that I'm going to out looking for some younger guy or buy some stupidly priced, useless vehicle; but in the sense of the changes happening. Our children are growing up and needing us less and less, so many of us have devoted our lives to our spouses and children and now we have more free time than we have in years, we may be feeling restless in our jobs/careers, and we are now asking "what do we do with ourselves?" I'm told this is all normal, but personally, it doesn't feel normal to me. It makes me feel too chaotic, too unorganized, too restless, too something! As so many of us are reaching this phase, many I have talked to have been asking the same questions..."what now? is this normal? will I ever feel like me again?" I'm told you will feel like you, only better and wiser. We all know that we change through the years, and this is just another change to adapt to. I don't have any answers, I sure wish I did! I will just say this, you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not losing your mind, and this too will pass! Find someone you trust to talk to, to down that bottle of wine with, drink that pot of coffee with and find something meaningful/fulfilling and productive to do with your extra time and energy! We survived the 70's, the 90's, Y2K, and child-rearing years...We got this! Break out the 90's ballads and rock!
Today, I'm diving into more organization and structure in my home. With the restless energy I have been struggling with, I have to keep my hands and mind busy. I know my family just cringes each time I start new projects, but I am having to do things for me. I have spent so much time this year in deep thought. I have tried to balance several areas of my life and it's just not working anymore. So, I am focusing on what's most important to me. I am finishing this year with current committments, plans and projects; but there will be a lot of big changes beginning soon. I will stay true to me, my beliefs, my standards. I have to find my balance again.
Have a great week! Fall is just around the corner. Get out in nature, go to your local pumpkin patches, get fall pictures taken, live your life to the fullest!
Salli
