Imprisoned by identities

 

I can't even begin to count the number of times I have gotten bent out of shape over all the labeling that has happened the past decade. Seriously, the labels are out-of-control! Political labels, sexual relationship labels, religious labels, even so much as male or female - it's quite ridiculous. Even as I write, I noticed on my sidebar where you can "add labels" to your blog. Incredible.

This morning I heard a statement that said: "we have become imprisoned by identities we inherit." I believe this is the same thought process I have had, in a much more pronunciation means. My thought is that we limit our selves by feeling a need to put a label on everything. For example: I am a person that believes we all have the right to live our lives, in a matter that does not harm others. Yes, I am a female, yes I have very conservative but American first beliefs, I don't believe in religion but have full faith in God, I am straight, white, pro 2nd, pro Constitution, anti-violence, pro equal opportunity but anti equality, pro life but also believe in medical freedom and privacy. The first statement was the general one. The second was with labels. I am not one to hate others, however, I do hate the divisions that have been used as prey to desecrate people of all creed, color, sex, and preferences. I believe only those qualified to do a job, should be able to get the job...not just putting a check mark in a box. I don't give a rats behind if you are black, white, green, yellow or red; if you are qualified, are willing to learn or have what a company is needing....that is only way you should get a job. 

Many years ago, the labeling process began. It included another "movement" that has desecrated the sanctity of what it was meant to be. The feminist movement. What began as a noble idea,  became one of ignorance. Just as many others have. Women, not people pretending to be, wanted equality. They wanted to be recognized as people, not objects. They wanted equal rights to men. They wanted to be able to work, to make decisions for themselves, to be able to vote, get an education, and not be enslaved. Through the decades, it is now a battle for women's sports to be actually women competing, it's a battle to just be able to say you are a woman...since the definition of one is now in question. Again, so many movements that have held real merit, have been desecrated by ignorance and greed. Just think back to all the women that decided to fight against being raped, the "Me Too" movement. Was destroyed by people that used it for their own enrichment. The "Black Lives Matter" movement, was yet another one. When black business owners and communities were destroyed by the people within that movement, they lost all credibility. The Gay community is yet another movement that has been destroyed. There are people that take these very legitimate movements and destroy them with ignorance, and truly make the entire movement lose its value. 

Then we get to where everything is overly shared. Seriously, all of us are guilty of this. We have shared our meals, pictures of our vacations, our children, our homes, our vehicles, basically every angle of our lives on the internet. Yet, most people that you talk to, realize how unsafe online social media sites are. We all do this. I know my social media is locked to only those I know personally, but the photos and messages are still online. Once something goes online, even if you remove it, it is still in the cyber world. The stuff we put online, stays there! We are sharing everything in our lives, 24/7. We make adjustments once in a while, but these things are always out there. It's already been reported to congress that every single person is being monitored, 24/7. That was allowed by the Patriot Act after September 11th. Did you know that? 

We have to break the mold of labeling everything. We are all so much more that some pathetic label. Our political parties are not 2 separate parties, they have become one in the same. There are only 2 DNA genders, deal with it. You either carry the XX or XY codes. You can love who you love without destroying any other beliefs. Skin color only matters if someone is trying to keep you from achieving what you are capable of, with some work. Nothing in life is fair, even if you are promised it is. Not everyone is going to come in first place, if you want first place...you better work your butt off to earn it. You want the posh job with the corner office, you better educate yourself to be the best for that position. You better learn to take care of yourself! Have respect for yourself, for your goals, and for others. You are not just given respect because you think you deserve it. You are given respect when your character deserves it, when you have become a productive member of society. When you are a good person. 

So, I'm pretty irritated with a lot as of late. When you walk into a store and you see this: someone wearing clothes inappropriate of being in public, hair an utter disaster, smells to high heaven, ass crack hanging out, a boob hanging out, and bragging about their food stamps and child's father being forced to pay child support while you sit on your ass....I have zero respect. Now, if you need those food stamps to help while you are gaining more knowledge, while you rebuild; fine. It was not meant to be a way of life. Have enough respect for yourself to put on clothes that fit to start with, brush your hair, put on some deodorant, look respectable in public, behave like you have some sense. I was raised that you dressed in a manner that you wished to become. You may have to start at the bottom and work your way up, but you don't have to look like you were dragged out of the gutter. You are better than that! We are ALL better than that. 

I believe that so many of us have been bullied into a belief that there is a massive divide in our country, and I just don't believe that. I believe the majority have similar beliefs, but those trying to divide and conquer have the bull horn, and are playing on emotions to keep a fire burning. It doesn't matter what color we are, what religion/faith we believe in, what our bedroom activities are, or even what the false identity politics claim to be. We all bleed red, and we are all being bullied by one entity or another. We need to come together and have the difficult conversations without yelling or name calling; and solve the issue that our government has created.

Coffee and Life

 

                                                                   Coffee and Life!

 

I thought I would blog this morning. Just some conversation about life, with my coffee as a side kick. I was kind of blindsided about 2 weeks ago with an onslaught of worries. I have gotten frustrated with the increased prices, the pathetic employment standards, and so much more. I thought I would take a break from research, from some tasks that seemed to keep me constantly busy, and do some refocusing. Well, that has been a little scary. You see, I keep myself overly busy to keep my mind focused. When I make lists, plan out my days/weeks, have multiple events to manage, or take time for company/visitors; it requires me to stay on task. I need routine. I need to have a plan. I can not "fly by the seat of my pants." It does not work for me. It makes me too anxious. 

 

So, I stay busy. I know my routines/schedules. When they change or do not have a back up plan...oh boy. I have taken some time to refocus and re-evaluate. That has been kinda messy. My year's are pretty much always consistent. My gardens are planned all year. They get final planning January - March, and I get seeds started in March & April. I get my plants in May. I garden for as long as I possibly can into fall. From June-October, I preserve whatever foods I can. I keep notes on what and how things grow. I keep notes on how much is preserved every year to know what my family uses. I keep notes of where in the gardens I grow things every year, so I can rotate the crops each year but also so I know what additions I need to use to improve the soil quality each year. I know putting in sunflowers helps draw out any chemical run off/sprays that come from surrounding fields. I know putting in other flowers helps to draw not only the pollinators, but they help improve the soil too. I have learned how epsom salts, wood ash, and bone meal improve soil quality and production. I spend my winter/cold months constantly learning all I can about improving my gardening and food preservation skills. Gardening is a year round project. I know I have to stay on top of house cleaning - since my family fights with serious sinus and allergy issues, we don't have the luxury of  surface cleaning unless we all want to fight with one issue or another. I can tell you, the past year....you can tell how much surface cleaning has happened instead of the needed and necessary deep cleaning. Staying on top of laundry is a losing fight! I can do laundry daily, and there is always more to do. Our annual event schedule this year has had a few additions. Typically, it's a get together for New Year's Eve, a party in March, a get together on July 4th, a party in September, our veteran hunt in September, Thanksgiving, Christmas Open House, and Christmas. This year we have the added event of a wedding, and my trip to my family reunion. Keeping inventory of our pantry and freezers is necessary. After we got rid of 2 freezers earlier this year, we learned how much had been lost in the bottom of the chest freezers, and forgotten about. That was a heartbreaking loss. That brings me to the next line of thoughts.

So, I'm pretty certain a large majority are feeling the pinch, these days. From the increase in food and fuel to utilities and insurance, to interest rates on loans. Our wages are not increasing to meet the increase in the even the necessary expenses, let alone discretionary expenses.  I work very hard to manage our budget, our expenses, and juggle any repairs or upgrades, as I can. That being said, the past 3 years have been a really BIG challenge! We all know what the lockdowns were like. Well, at least those that didn't get "extra" money. I believe a majority got the "Covid checks." Aside from that. In my household, there wasn't "extra" money. The increase in unemployment, only made our checks equal what our regular checks would have been, if there would not have been a layoff. So, we weren't fortunate enough to have extra...only what we were accustomed to. The only bonus we got, was having my husband home for 5 months to work around the farm on projects that there were never enough hours for. Anyway, after that, we had the supply chain issues and the inflation issues. Everything went up. Concrete, lumber, food, toilet paper, fencing and supplies, basically everything. It is STILL high. We had planned for a 14 x 36 concrete patio, for several years. What was going to cost about $1800 in 2019, was nearly $5000 in 2020/2021, $6500 in 2022....and I can't even afford to price it this year! The grocery budget that was $400 monthly in January 2020, has doubled in 3 years. The utilities that ran about $500 monthly in January 2020, is almost $700 now. Fuel that cost us $300 monthly for 3 vehicles, is now over $300 monthly for ONE vehicle. Fencing and supplies are double in price, feed/grain is now double in price, repairs are double in price. As of writing this blog, to make ends meet and have anything available for any non-necessary expenditures...we would need to make no less than $75K a year, and I promise you we DON'T!!! So, when I hear these economists, and these educated idiots talking about how great the economy is doing....I call bullshit!!! I suppose if you want to work 2-3 jobs, per person in your home, and do nothing but work...sure, the economy may not effect you. Sadly, there are a large majority that have outstanding debt ten times what we have, and I can't begin to guess how they are doing it. We don't have much for outstanding debts, but at this point in time...any debt is a bad deal! 

Then I move on to the farm side of life. We have recently learned some information on some groups of people, and how they are financially able to price other residents out of purchasing a farm, or purchasing more land. In my area, we have watched land prices sky rocket to levels unsustainable for average people. I know our prices here are less expensive than other areas, but we also have limited job options, basically no industry and it's a long way to any major area. Anyway, looking at this from my perspective - what we would be interested in. Hay and Pasture ground to purchase has increased in price nearly $3000 per acre in just the past 5 years. Now, this means that it is good land, with good fencing, good building, water source, etc. To rent this kind of ground, can't be done because of the group of people I mentioned a bit ago. Just about like purchasing any ground. I'm not even going to get into when there is family ground that taken out of the option because of greed when one passes away. Anyway, that group of people is able to take out hundred year loans, that they pay on their entire lives, and then pass down to their male children. So, it's easy to give $7K-$10K an acre for farm ground, when you get a loan like that...with no to little interest. Local farmers wanting to sell out, see them as guaranteed money, and typically they are, but a normal person has no chance in starting or expanding their own farms. Especially now, when interest rates are 7+% - 10+%. Can you imagine the payment, let alone debt of a million dollar farm?! Young people wanting to get started don't have a snowballs chance in hell!! I'm not even going to get into the big farmers that have the cash flow to look wealthy on paper but are in debt over their heads!!! I'm not going to get into the underhanded, under cutting that is currently going on in this world. It's enough to make a sane person sick!! None of this even touches on costs of feed or grain, to raise livestock. This year, being in an extreme drought, showed me exactly what my husband has said about farming being a gamble. When hay bales have already nearly $200 each, a load of sheep feed(that will last about 8 weeks) is over $1000, chicken feed has doubled in prices, cracked corn that was $6 a bag less than 3 years ago, is now closer to $20. It is very discouraging to see small farmers, and homesteaders on the brink of complete collapse due to all of this I have just talked about. 

We have never intended for our little farm to be a "money maker." This was meant to be our homestead, with livestock and a place to raise our family and put down roots. This was part of a bigger plot of the family farm, that meant the world to us. This was meant to be closer to my husband's mother and step father to help out, and they would have their piece of the family farm, again...to keep it in the family. Thankfully, we weren't able to sell ours when we had to make an employment change. It was tough for a couple of years, but we came back home. I will NOT be leaving my little corner of the world again. Although it gets stressful, this plot of land is my peace and refuge. This is where I feel closest to the loved ones that have passed, and where I have my way spiritually. Home does not necessarily mean a house, it's the place you find your peace. It's where you have a connection. While we have been able to find a means of adding enough income from the farm to justify the livestock and equipment, it's not a money maker. 

I guess, as I have been told plenty of time, I see things differently. I have had the privilege of living a different life style that helps me to see how incredibly beneficially small farms truly are. I have been given a unique opportunity to expand my limited knowledge and grow beyond anything I thought possible. There are so many though, that have truly taken ignorance to a new level. Burying my head in the sand because I don't want to ruffle feathers is not who I am, let alone not allowing myself to see the forest through trees. I am happy to have a backbone, happy to speak my mind - even if it irritates 99% of those around me, and truly happy that I removed myself from so many toxic situations that I can say I have what my heart, soul and mind needed...even when I didn't know it at the time. 

I am in that generation now, where our parents and if we are lucky to still have them, our grandparents, are aging and having more health issues. It's been difficult in my household to have so many parents. Both my husband and I come from split families. We both have had our parents and step parents, and my husband is so blessed to still have a grandmother. However, even though we know we are beyond blessed...we still only have so many hours in a day, we still have a child to raise, and we have the farm. So, time gets very thin daily. We try to stay in communication, although we don't do great, I will admit that. We try to stay in the loop with our siblings and step-siblings, although that is not going well. In addition to our child, our farm, the off the farm jobs, on the farm jobs, repairs, hay, livestock, and now we can throw in severe hardships...it's gets to be pretty overwhelming. Since losing my mother-in-law, I have seen how people really feel and have seen things. It has reminded me of what I was told when I was first married....you are only married into the family, not part of it. So, I guess it showed me my place. Especially when certain ones quit speaking to me all together. I can't control that, even if it hurts. It is what it is. I can't dwell on something I can't change. I know I have done what I could to help but I'm not actual family.

Anyway, Just a few thoughts today. It's already afternoon and I need some serious garden therapy. Have a great weekend.