Coffee Chat

 

Coffee Chat

 

I don't know about all of you, but 2025 has been a tough year...and we still have a few months to go.  There have been a lot of changes in my life and a lot of realizations. The few constants this year, have been working on changes around the farm, enjoying my time with veterans and returning a focus on my own boundaries. 

 

In just a few short weeks, we have the honor of welcoming 10 disabled veterans to our farm. While this is our biggest event in the 7 year history, the same work is put in. Making a 3-day event a great experience for every veteran, is the goal. It's humbling to visit with each veteran and to be reminded of how much our lives have benefited from their service to our country. It has also been humbling when they are grateful for events focused on them, the majority have not a single entitlement bone in their body. It's refreshing! As I said, this year we have 10 disabled veterans attending. They will be arriving from Iowa, Illinois, Louisiana, Tennessee and Texas. We have 8 that have attended before and 2 that will be attending for the first time, and sadly had 12 that we weren't able bring in this year. It has been an exciting year for this event, with several first time sponsors, and the feed back has been incredible. The few bumps we have encountered, have been overcome and have worked out great in the end. I am now in the final weeks of prep work, and ironing out last minute details. It's always a little stressful but the results always work out. 

 

A few changes around the farm, overall have been small...while we determine the exact direction we want to grow. A much smaller garden this year, with a new design, new species of plants...didn't work out well. The design is great, I love it, but the plants/seeds were awful. We had so much rain and humidity this year, we just didn't get much to grow. That's the risk you take though. We raised some pigs this year again, so I have pork in the freezer I can eat again. We had a few challenges with sheep and lambs this summer and the heat played a big part. I lost most of my ducks and chickens, to neighbors dogs and a fox. That was not a great thing. Now, my flocks are pretty small. Again, depending on our direction, will determine what my next plans will be. The fire pit area has been reallocated to become home to our new shed, while the firepit was removed and will be used in the driveway as it was when we first started out. The inside will see some more reorganization, as time allows. Sorting, pitching, organizing and purpose changes are the plan. It's a slower process when you sort through memories, and decide what no longer serves a purpose. 

 

As I step into the "ber" months, which was once my favorite time of year, I am more reluctant to get overly excited. I am putting all my focus on what I can do, what I have to do and what I want to do; and stepping away from everything that just drains me. I wish you all an incredible month with more blessings than lessons!!

 

Coffee Chat

 

Today's early morning thoughts.

 

My early morning thoughts began about 4 am. I have spent the past 7 years working hard to reach financial goals, so I could reach some other goals. These early morning thoughts actually woke me up, and have been nagging at me for several hours. While I am truly blessed with so much, there are material things I need and some that I want. I am not someone that requires much, especially materially. So, the thoughts of when is the right time to bite the bullet and make big moves/changes? I know this is an individual decision, but I can't help but wonder. I am not at an ideal situation, but I am also not willing to wait until I can't enjoy it. When is the timing ever really "the right time?" Making changes is terrifying to me, especially big changes. As someone who thinks constantly, I will always come up with a million "what-if's" to delay what I can, but even those scenarios aren't holding much ground anymore. I really try to have dozens of "back up plans" because I know life gets messy. 

 

That general thought this morning has really made my mind whirl. I have spent decades now trying to do what I believed to be the right thing. Then I look, and see the many of the results, only to end up asking, "why bother, I'm going to be the bad guy no matter what I do." Yet, here I am...still trying. Still fighting for everything and everyone I believe in. I'm not one to give up, but does a time come that you don't have to fight, like your life depends on it, for every step forward? When you don't have to get through every letter of the alphabet of plans, to have one finally work? When the prayers you pray, are finally answered? When you can see the fruits of your labor, your tears, your sweat and your effort? I told you, my mind works overtime, and these are only a fraction of the thoughts...just this morning.

 

I'm ticking off the to-do list for the veteran hunt, my deep cleaning/organizing list, the last couple of years of home school, and the semi-annual preparation list(winter/spring). None of which ever seems to get completed without several additions for tasks not completed when I have delegated them. Which is always a joy. I keep reminding myself that, that the only thing I can control completely or depend on is me.   With that, I know I will make everything possible work and I'm not afraid to work to get things done. It just gets a little tiring when I am constantly told to ask for help, yet when I do...it either doesn't show up, gets done half-assed, or it's forgotten about. I don't wait until last minute, when I can avoid it, because that stresses me out....and ticks me off. 

 

So, I will keep working through my lists, projects and plans. I just needed this outlet this morning. I keep on, keeping on. Even on days that are heavy.