Tuesday, April 28, 2020

A little rambling




I am blown away by the complete disrespect by so many people. Everyone preaches tolerance until the come across an opinion that differs from theirs. Then all of a sudden, not only are they intolerant but disrespectful. Then you begin seeing name calling(as if we have slipped back to grade school), and so much judgement! The last I knew, there was not a single person on the face of this earth that was perfect! It has become so bad that I almost hate getting on social media and I refuse to watch television. Now, to top it all off, we were thrown into a panic over something that has not even come close to the dire warnings from the beginning.

I do not mean to minimize any loss of life. It is terrible that anyone passes on, but the fact is, people die every single day. They are passing from viruses, cancer, abortion, heart disease, medical mistakes, prescription medications, car accidents and so much more. Are we supposed to hole up in our homes or on our properties and just exist for our lifetime? I have watched, the past few months, so many be degraded and bullied for keeping an open mind and not going into panic. While I have also watched those who have chosen to play the safe side and stay home as directed, be degraded, belittled and bullied for that too. For me, it becomes a giant balancing act. Unfortunately, it was one that has proven to be a bigger and costlier challenge than I would have ever guessed.

I'm a researcher. I want truth, not a bunch of talking heads telling me what to think. I'm one of those people that question EVERYTHING! I want to know the why's, the how's...don't tell me to do something without having the information to back up what you say. I want facts, not some regurgitated information from social media or news sources. Show me actual facts from true professionals, not politicians. Just a heads up, I do not vote by party. I vote by person...with a lot of research. Although I tend to be very conservative on most things, I am not above trying to see both sides! So, anyone claiming me to be otherwise, does not know me, and has zero right to have an opinion about me.

I have struggled with this "pandemic." I never have seen numbers that have terrified me. Although I will always do what is best for my family first and foremost, I was not prepared to see our country and economy shut down. I really don't think anyone was. This is something that I'm pretty sure no one alive has ever seen. We have been in a lot of uncharted waters this year. My own family will always come first when ever decisions are made. I have received more nasty messages than I care to count, and it has really made me mad. What each of you do, is your choice. What I do, is mine...no one else's.

I live by the motto, "to each their own." I have made plenty of mistakes in my life, and I have no place judging anyone. However, there are plenty out there that seem to think the sun rises and sets in their ass! They are going to be highly disappointed when they realize it doesn't! As with my political views, my views on faith are different as well. I am not religious, nor will I ever be. I have a very strong spiritual faith, but I refuse to have any human tell me what to believe, think or feel. Every single person on this earth has their own path, their own beliefs, and their own purpose for being here. The only thing I try to do, is treat others the way they treat me. I will always be kind, until I have a reason not to be.

I am a firm believer in following my instincts. When something feels off...it usually is. I listen intently when I talk to people. Most of the time, reading their body language, watching their actions and again, listening to my gut instincts...tells me all I need to know. I won't judge but I will limit my exposure to people that drain me. When people become too needy, too demanding, too self-centered, too political, too religious, or when their stories don't remain the same; I will withdraw. I have too much in my own life to have people that drain my energy, add to it. When people begin showing true colors, I find myself pulling back too. I have had people for years tell me that they know me. My standard answer is always, I doubt it. It's not meant to be mean, but no one truly knows me, not all of me. I do not let anyone get that close. There are some that know a lot more than others, but they have been in my life 25-40 years. I am not someone that gets close to most people. I have a serious distrust of people. It's one of my many flaws.

Anyway, this quarantine stuff has really thrown me. We made a decision to quarantine our family on the 20th of March. At the time, I was listening to news sources and reading all the garbage on social media. My mistake. I questioned our Governors lack of leadership on shutting down the state. The thing I neglected to understand was the tremendous impact it would have economically, but also my own lack of information on numbers/cases/occurrences. He was being given information from "professionals," I was not. I was reading opinions. I was listening to media. I watched Illinois go on lockdown, watched all rights being squandered in the name of "safety." All done through government. I watched Iowa take precautions but never fully shut down. I watched my own Governor struggle. The thing for me is I would not want to have their jobs. Knowing that no matter what you do, it will be wrong in someone's eyes. Knowing that you will be ostracized no matter what you do. The same goes for the president. With all the power struggles in Washington D.C., a president only has 4-8 years to do what they can. The issue comes in when you have a Congress and Senate in their positions for decades; it makes their argument that it is a president's fault for issues that happened before his time in office, obsolete. The issues we have in this country have accumulated over decades of poor judgements, poor budgeting, and a lack of understanding about the Constitution and Bill of Rights, that were supposed to be the law of the land. Too many have taken doing something good, too far.

My family has quarantined, and we have limited exposure. We have lost a lot of income, not only from jobs but also from our livestock and hay. We have gone weeks without visiting with our loved ones. The thing for us, aside from the income, our lives have not changed that much. We do not go out to visit with much of anyone, we do not go out to eat on a regular basis, and we definitely do not spend much time with any of our extended families. So, our "normal" hasn't changed much. I have had my fill of being chewed up and out, and it pissed me off. The thing is, all it did was remind me that I can be thankful that I am not one of those people.

We have a small family farm. It takes every single one of us to keep up with what goes on here. Between the farm chores and the outside jobs; our lives are full. We don't have the time or desire to try to keep up with the Jones' or anyone else for that matter. We don't travel much, and honestly, we can't. Our idea of a great break is sitting around a bonfire or enjoying our pool. We love having get togethers when we can, but we don't really have much time for much beyond trying to get our farm where we want it to be. I personally hate games. I refuse to play them, but if I am drawn into one...you can bet I will be playing to win. Games are for kids and they should be left there.

As we start seeing the country, states and the economy start to reopen,I encourage each of you to support your local businesses. Support those mom & pop businesses that have been struggling, the local farmers markets and livestock farms that have no where to go with their animals. Support your communities to help increase the local economy, and leave the big box stores to fend for themselves. While I know that places like Walmart have taken over, and it seems impossible to not utilize them in some means, do everything you can to support your local communities. So many of the businesses locally support our kids sports programs, events for veterans, and even local tourism. Our local communities need each of us more than ever.

I wish you all good health, safety and compassion as we begin reentering everyday life.
Salli

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