Saturday, July 11, 2020

Positivity is a choice!




There is so much negativity being broadcast these days. From social media to media, even through conversations. The problem as I see it, so many feel invisible or not heard. Just today, I watched an amazing video about a gentleman that felt unheard and invisible in his job. He had a boss that was atrocious, he was letting his dreams slide, and was overall unhappy. Well, I think many of you who read this blog know, when something touches me, I have to say something. Obviously, times in our country are pretty crazy. Again, I think that a lot of the issues could be solved by listening to each other, turning off the television and social media, and being respectful. I am not an idealist, more of a realist honestly, but researching so much information that you see has made me look at a lot quite differently.

One video I watched today, feeling invisible/unheard, this is a common area of issue. While the man in the video was going after his dreams and telling his story, his dream was telling people's stories. This made me think, what if we actually heard other people's stories. What if we heard their stories, what if listened to those stories, and what if, instead of focusing on the chaos of our politics...we united and worked together to become the best stewards, we could become?! I'm not saying we won't disagree or that our individual ideals won't require us find a compromise. I'm saying simple, Respect each other, Treat each other the way you wish to be treated, Accept that we have the rights to believe as we choose but we also have a responsibility to keep those rights.

As much research and studying as I do, I have been able to look through all the distractions thrown at us by misleading news sources and B.S. social media "fact-checking." The world, as a whole, as evolved to center around feelings and emotions. While I fully believe that you should never have to apologize for what you feel, they are your feelings...I do believe that the constant influence of television/internet have inflamed those emotions and keeps every one of us in a constant uproar. So, I did a brief study of my own. I spent 30 days, limiting my outside influences. I would limit my time online(I don't watch television, so that was not an issue). I would allow myself no more than 60 minutes a day online for 15 of those days, and would not limit my time the remaining 15 days. Here's what I found from my own research.

Days that were limited:
Mood: much lighter, easier to walk away from negativity
Time Average: 40-60 minutes per day, divided between mornings and evenings
Other: Spent more time with my family, felt lighter and more capable of dealing with life, less frustrated

Days NOT limited:
Mood: Frustrated, angry, irritable, ready to argue over everything
Time Average: usually an hour or so in the morning, several times throughout the day, and about 2 hours in the evening...about 5 hours per day online, on average
Other: Mood was argumentative, the more crap I read the more I wanted to read, I neglected my own responsibilities at home and on the farm...usually arguing with someone about something, felt more emotionally drained and negative.

Now, I can tell you my self study didn't surprise me. I could feel the differences, and the negativity in my soul. I could feel myself being pulled into a no-win battle with every story, every political conversation, every religious conversation, and honestly...I felt argumentative about just about everything. So, again, my mind traveled to what would happen if everyone unplugged from all media outlets, at least for awhile.

Every single one of us has a unique story. Every single one of us was created as we appear...we can't change our skin color, we can't change our gender(although some try). We are who we were intended to be. Society as a whole, has been lead to believe that we have to labeled, we have to be grouped, or we have to be...insert any number of things here. The thing is, this will sound pretty farmish, but you don't throw out an entire basket of apples just because of one or two bad ones in the bunch. The same goes with our citizens. Just because you have a few "bad apples" in a race, creed, gender, whatever....does not make the entire group bad. We have inherently been lead to believe, by those NEED people divided, that that is the case. Every single one of us has something unique we can offer the world. While I am going to encourage you to offer your uniqueness, offer your kindness and quit buying into the divide...this blog is not about that.

How many of us have let go of our dreams? How many have been told that your dreams are unattainable or stupid? How many have heard that you need to let go of those dreams, get a good job, and just deal with your responsibilities? I know I have heard all of the above, SO MANY times throughout my life. Why is that? In my own experience, it is a combination of how the generation above of us was raised, others trying to relive their lives through you, people not wanting to be left behind as you grow, not knowing who to reach out to to achieve the necessary information on your dreams, having dreams that are far beyond what is considered normal...just to name a few. A friend shared a quote on social media the other day, "you are sum of the 5 people you spend the most time." I remembered hearing this in a high school class, and again in college. It's true. The 5 people you spend the most time with, will determine your life. So, look at those 5 people you are hanging with regularly. Are they chasing their dreams, are they continually growing, are they positive, OR are they constantly complaining about something, constantly facing troubles, constantly negative?

The choice is yours, you can choose to let life happen to you...OR you can choose to make a life that works for you. None of us are entitled to anything we don't earn. You can allow circumstances to hold you back, make you bitter or you can choose those circumstances to push you to be better. Using life's circumstances and our own choices, is an excuse. Use them as a crutch to never better yourself or use them as stepping stones to rise above. The choice is yours and yours alone. It does not matter what those circumstances are.

Today, I am turning this blog back to each of you that read this. Share your story, dreams, positive messages with everyone...either through a comment on this blog or through the social media platform. Share and embrace our uniqueness. Let's squash the divide and lift each other up. Let's rise above the bias, the chaos and the ignorance.



You are unique, and this world needs you to be the gift you were intended to be. We were not meant to be so hateful and divided.
Sending out love, light and courage to each of you!
Salli

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