My official "new year," began yesterday, with quite a bang. Waking up at 2 am with a migraine - that lasted until midnight, a 2:30 am text that my mother had a heart attack, and basically having to waste my entire birthday feeling like crap was not exactly how I planned to kick off my new year. Maybe we can get this nasty stuff out now, so the rest of the year can be better.
I spoke to my mom today, she is in one of our bigger hospitals, probably the best one for cardiac care in the area. She did have a heart attack, and is currently waiting for test results for possibly a bypass surgery next week. She seems to be in good spirits and ready to get through the surgery to get on the road to recovery. I do not know much beyond this, but saying a few extra prayers for her.
As for me, I have terrible sinuses and peri-menopause to add insult to injury. So, migraines have taken a toll for a few years now, as have some major headaches, literally. Weather changes irritate my sinuses, so when the pressure changes...my head feels like it will explode. Then it settles into my cheeks, jaw and ears. So, when even your hair hurts...it makes for really long days! This has been my battle, recently since the week before Christmas, and culminated yesterday into a migraine. I still have a pretty sensitive head today but I can sort of see straight again. I've tried medicines, and they just make it all worse. The only things that seem to help is my ACV tea, Russian Tea, and lots of elderberry juice. Over the past year, I have spent a lot of time sicker than ever. I am relating this to too much stress, trying to manage too much, and having basically no help/support at home. So, I have had to take some pretty major steps back to take care of myself first. This is irritating for many others. It's easy to take other's for granted, when they have always been there to do whatever is needed. When you are the one to be "everyone's go-to," you get burned out quickly. I have reached the "end" of the peri stage...so I am told. I can tell you, I have become a lot less tolerant of stupidity, liars, rudeness, crudeness and those who refuse to try to do better. So, basically...the same way I have always been...except those feelings are on steroids! Kinda like Texas or not actually being...everything has become BIGGER!
I finalized my general goals for my new year, the night before my birthday. Typically, I have them done long before that...but I am running behind on everything this year! Another of my pet peeves is being late for anything. Sadly, I have been late a LOT in 2023. The time has flown past me this year. I have made one of my goals a priority - slowing down in 2024. I know many of us are "waiting for Friday," "Waiting for this holiday or date," and all we end up doing is wishing away time. Instead, I'm going to work harder to take down time to enjoy some bonfires, some hiking, some walks, and just enjoy each to my best ability. Taking some steps back to remind myself of my own priorities. Instead of trying to be everything to everyone, I need to be everything to myself first. I have spent a lot of years putting everyone first, and having nothing left to give myself.
You all know that I am not going to change who I am to please anyone. I have some plans in place for videos, blogs, projects, gardening(my biggest love next to my family), our farm, and gatherings. I have accepted some poor behaviors that won't be accepted any longer. I have let a lot of things slide that won't be allowed anymore. 2023 was a year of hell for me, and only I can fix it to make sure it does not continue. It's so easy to blame someone else for issues, when we neglect to take responsibility for our own responses to those issues. We have to be held to our own decisions, actions and take accountability. Myself included. We either make the choice to what is right, do what we need to do, and make a better outcome...or we make the choice to blame other's for our decisions, not do what needs done, or be lazy in our thinking and just accept poor decisions/choices...and whine.
As I said, 2023 has been a year of reckoning for me. It has had a lot of insight, spiritual growth, physical ailments, resentment, sadness and anger. I am the only one that can fix this mess. I've made choices, I've reacted more than responded, and I have enabled poor behaviors...my own included. I have debated about sharing my goals, and I may later. More as a means of being held accountable to myself...but also so others know that I walk the walk...not just give lip service. I have had a lot of folks complain about my constant reminders to stock their pantries...again, I practice what I preach. I have taken a dive into learning about the financial markets, gold, silver, housing and commercial lending, and I'm still trying to learn military law, executive orders, and continuity of government. For 4 1/2 years now, I have dove into researching everything possible. So much of what I have learned, I can't share with a majority of people, because they don't want to know or can't stomach the evil. I get that, it is overwhelming. There have been days I have wished that I was content to just live life like everything was "OK." That's just not who I am. I have had too much experience with first hand knowledge of misdirected information, completely wrong information, and seen first hand what the medical industry lies can do to a person's body. If I am to be completely honest, my research truly began about 24 years ago. It began with nutrition, hormones and vitamins when I struggle to carry a child after miscarriages. It continued 22 years ago after being diagnosed with cancer, and the treatments left so much scar tissue that would never go away. My constant research lead to finding a healthier means to manage my health. It continued strongly nearly 15 years ago when I went back to school to learn natural health and holistic medicine after a round of vaccines nearly killed my 4 month old baby. That research, has never ended. It has become a way of life for me. Knowledge is something that can never be taken from you, however, you will constantly grow and sometimes outgrow those around you.
Today, as I try to work through this headache, and feeling quite crappy...I know my intentions for the coming year. I know the entire world is a shit show. I truly expect 2024 to get worse, it is an election year. I have every intention to continue my research, work hard at paying off debts, saving some money, getting my own house in order, making some videos, and making more time to just enjoy the simple things. I have zero desire to travel the world, take vacations, have the most expensive home or car, or any of that nonsense. I live in a small piece of heaven, I have a roof over my head(although a little bigger house would be nice), we have 2 vehicles, I have lots of gardens to work with...and could have a lot more if I so chose, we have lots of livestock, and quite honestly...have all we need, and most of what we want. Taking stock in what I am grateful for everyday, is high on the list to remember in the coming year.
I hope each of you has a safe and healthy New Year's Eve....and a healthy, safe and prosperous New Year!
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